The Best Man
by xthesebonesx
Summary: The morning of her wedding, Bonnie and Damon find themselves reeling in the aftermath of a one-night stand between the best man and the bride. Will the two be able to continue to pretend it never happened or will their true feelings for one another force the truth to come out? AU/AH.
1. Chapter 1

Bonnie inhaled a deep breath as she continued to remain seated with her eyes straight ahead as a makeup brush lightly passed along her cheeks for a pose, the cameras of the photographers flashed, and she held her hands together tightly in her lap. She couldn't ignore the persistent bounce of her foot against the plush rug beneath her and would have sent the artist applying her powder an apologetic glance, had she actually been _here _in the moment, but she wasn't.

She was far, far away, deep within her thoughts, which should have been about the ceremony slated to take place in two hours and twelve minutes.

But they weren't.

As the makeup artist put on her finishing touches, Bonnie was broken out of the very _loud _inner monologue happening in her mind by the sound of her Maid of Honor, Caroline Forbes, reappearing into the bridal suite to announce the updated timeline with her clipboard in hand, happily grinning from ear-to-ear because they were running ahead of schedule thanks to her coordination with the wedding planner.

Caroline made her way though the hustle and bustle of the room—conversing with the photographers, checking in on the mother and grandmother of the bride, accounting for each bridesmaid, before she powerwalked her way over to Bonnie in her beautiful sweetheart chiffon mauve spaghetti strap gown, and her golden blonde hair in an elegant braided updo.

Her smile pierced through Bonnie's concentration—or lack thereof—as she giddily was at her service.

"Can I get you a mimosa? Or a muffin? Or a muffin and a mimosa? We also have Bloody Marys, Prosecco, Sangria—"

"Actually," Bonnie stopped her and Caroline was all ears, "Would it be too much trouble to get me a bourbon, or something? The sugary sweet drinks just… make me nauseous, sometimes," Bonnie admitted and Caroline noticed the distant look in her eyes, to which she hesitated and studied her face.

Bonnie didn't notice for a good twenty seconds that Caroline was just _looking _at her, to which she cleared her throat and forced her best smile.

"Hi Caroline."

"Hey, Bon," the blonde took a step in, as the makeup artist finally finished up and Caroline settled into the seat besides her, "You doing okay?"

Bonnie finally exhaled the breath she'd been holding in since what felt like this morning, and she nodded quickly as Caroline's brows furrowed and she bit her lip.

"Of course I am—why wouldn't I be? Just… pre-wedding jitters is all," Bonnie admitted and that wasn't a lie; she was scared shitless that this day that she had seemingly been planning for all of her life was finally here and in close to 2 hours, she'd be married to the love of her life, Enzo St. John.

The whole thing had been a fairy tale, really—the way they met, their first date, his proposal, and now this; their _wedding day, _set to be a momentous occasion in front of 150 of their closest friends—_Bonnie didn't even know that she knew that many people until they sat down and compiled the guest list_—on the warm fall day, at the beginning of September.

It was a beautiful day in Virginia, and the Crescent Hills Country Club served to be the perfect venue, as the massive property stretched on for acres of beautiful greenery and the staff made sure to tend to the every need of the bridal party where they could—_when Caroline wasn't getting things done, first, of course._

Bonnie glanced down at the sizeable canary diamond on her left hand—where her wedding band would soon be—and she inhaled again, swallowing a huge lump that sat in her throat, as she watched Caroline prepare a bourbon neat for her and immediately hand the glass tumbler over.

Bonnie's heart continued to thump within her chest as the familiar scent settled into the air and she took a long healthy sip.

Caroline figured this would be the right time to be a voice of wisdom and reason.

"When Stefan and I got married, I thought I was gonna puke walking down the aisle," Caroline admitted as Bonnie looked up and the blonde offered a smile, "I mean, in hindsight, it was probably because I was 5 weeks pregnant with twin boys and didn't know it, but I digress… it's okay to be nervous, Bon… this is the start of forever… _Your _forever," she beamed.

Bonnie licked her tongue over her teeth and forced a smile as Caroline threw her arm over her shoulder and hugged her tightly—briefly subsiding her fears for just a moment, before she released her and looked deep into Bonnie's gold speckled green eyes.

Caroline was right—it was normal to be nervous. Hell, it would have been abnormal _not _to be.

But she wasn't quite sure Caroline could quite understand _this _type of uneasiness Bonnie Bennett felt, as her hands shook and she gripped her tumbler even tighter just to be able to mask it.

Caroline's fear had been a joyful fear; an excitement to delve into the great known and unknown that was _love, _with her now husband, Stefan Salvatore, who she had been happily married to for two years, and raising a lovely set of twins with. She was fortunate enough to be in love with her best friend, and when asked if she would've liked to wait a little longer to have her boys Zachary and William—_to enjoy her marriage—_Caroline always quickly and earnestly answered no. Because her kids were the next big loves of her life next to Stefan, and with the three of them, she felt complete. Her marriage and her family made her feel whole.

Bonnie hoped that to be what she would gain from a marriage to Enzo.

They'd always been happy enough, sure, and Enzo was a fantastic fiancé—and quite possibly the most romantic person she'd ever met to date. He was a worldly man, who was born and orphaned in London, England before moving to the United States to attend university after traveling the world. He knew about art, literature, and music—he even owned his own museum right here in Virginia. It felt like fate the night that she met him, after going on an awful blind date with some guy she met online—_she should have known just from the screenname Cobrakai1972 that he might not have been the most well-adjusted—_and Enzo had been at the next table over, getting stood up by his college sweetheart, Maggie James, to which he later considered a blessing in disguise when he locked eyes with Bonnie.

The two hit it off immediately.

Bonnie appreciated Enzo, just because he had been so different than any of the guys she'd dated here in Virginia. He helped her to broaden her horizons, not only from her taste in food, but in places to travel, as they traipsed around the globe for the better half of their relationship—seeing Spain, Japan, Portugal, and more, before he predictably proposed to her in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, just like he'd always claimed he would.

She FaceTimed everyone—_literally everyone—_to show off her 4-carat pear shaped ring and she was met with squeals, wistful sighs, and hearty congratulations from everyone she knew, friends and family alike.

Well, nearly everyone.

Bonnie itched uncomfortably as her mind played on a loop, over and over again, one reaction she just couldn't get out of her head the more she thought about, and she cursed herself for not seeing it sooner—_for not realizing it sooner—_because she'd been so wrapped up in her own bliss to realize the weight of it was crushing him.

It'd been crushing him since the moment Enzo swept her off her feet.

Bonnie gulped down her bourbon and she was drawn out of her thoughts once more when she realized Caroline was at the tail-end of her motivational speech and giving her a gentle but assertive squeeze on the shoulder.

"You've got this, Bonnie Bennett—you are the most badass woman that I know."

Bad? For sure. An ass? Most definitely. But she wasn't so sure about this "badass" thing, anymore.

"How about another round?" Bonnie asked without waiting for an answer and pouring herself a glass this time as Caroline only blinked in response and the bride-to-be gulped down another sip.

This was going to be a _long _day.

XXXXX

"Isn't it a little early for bourbon?" Stefan chirped as he fastened his tie, glancing back at his brother in groom's suite, taking a swig from his flask before meeting his eyes in the mirror. "I'm just saying—you've gotta give a speech at the reception, and you don't do your best work _not _sober."

Damon scoffed at that as he took another sip before replacing the flask to the inside of his grey suit jacket and plopping down on the couch behind him.

He kicked his feet up as Stefan gave him a cocked brow.

"That was one time, Stefan."

"Yeah one time, at _my _wedding," he quipped, just as another groomsman, Alaric Saltzman, walked in, hair neatly styled, while he fastened his boutonniere.

"Yeah and mine, too now that I think about it… Can someone explain to me why three of us made the mistake of asking this drunk jackass to be our Best Man," he smiled to which Damon instantly flipped him the bird, but not without accompanying it with a wink.

"You're a glutton for pain, you wouldn't be the first person in my life to admit it," Damon said sweetly to which Stefan sneered and Alaric rolled his eyes. "Two things it's never too early for—bourbon and innuendo."

"You _would _have sex on the brain, this early in the day, which reminds me—where the hell were you last night? Don't think I didn't hear you sneak back into the room this morning," Alaric stated and Damon lazily shrugged, though he felt his chest get a little hot and his eyes laser focused on Alaric. "The bartender from downstairs, I'm guessing, gave you the two-for-one special? What was her name?"

"Hayley," Marcel Gerard, another groomsman, chimed in from the other room and the men laughed as Damon bit his lip and shook his head.

"A gentleman never kisses and tells," he said simply, before sitting up and clearing his throat to change the subject. Immediately. "Where's Enzo, by the way?"

"You're the Best Man, isn't that your job to keep tabs?" Alaric asked, as he cracked open a beer from the mini fridge.

"He's out on the balcony, working on his vows—he said he needed to make a few tweaks," Marcel announced walking into the room, snapping on his cuff links, "He's afraid Bonnie's gonna outdo him."

_She has_, Damon thought, before quickly snapping back into the conversation—his palms suddenly sweaty as he slid them across his pants. He stood up to pace for a moment and Stefan watched him carefully in the mirror, though he remained silent as he observed his older brother.

He'd been quiet and disheveled all morning, which couldn't have come at worse timing than at his best friend's wedding. Damon had always had his moody bouts growing up—his times when he just wanted to be left alone and needed to keep to himself—and it seemed like today was one of those days, unfortunately enough for Enzo. He needed to be able to count on Damon to deliver a solid speech—to be his best friend while he married the love of his life—and for some reason Damon couldn't have seemed less prepared, as Stefan noted what Alaric said was true about him ditching the rest of the bachelor party last night, disappearing for a few hours, and not coming back to the suite until the wee hours of the morning, just before the breakfast from the wedding staff and wedding planner arrived.

Stefan knew enough that Damon loved Enzo and Bonnie; after all, they'd grown up with Bonnie right here in Mystic Falls and he was her best friend for what felt like his entire life. And after meeting Enzo when the two started dating, he formed a deep bond with him as well, which later earned him the honor of being asked to be their best man.

Stefan wondered if seeing Elena Gilbert, his longtime ex, and one of Bonnie's bridesmaids and best friends, had rattled his nerves—after all, Damon and Elena had dated on again-off again for several years—and had even talked about marriage , albeit disagreed on it— before finally calling it quits right about the time Bonnie and Enzo got engaged and began to plan their wedding.

He figured Damon should have been over it though, and he seemed to be like he was when Stefan and Caroline got married a little over 2 years ago and Elena was in that wedding, too. Afterall, they remained in the same friend's group even though their relationship had several nails in the coffin. He'd even been cordial enough to have a drink with her at the bar as they caught up for a few before going their respective ways at the and not interacting for the rest of the night.

Stefan exhaled at the thought and shook his head.

No, it couldn't be Elena.

So what was it? Or _who?_

He was snapped out of his thoughts when the black-haired gentleman walked back into the room with a piece of paper in his hand and a smile on his face, before he let out a sigh and reached into the fridge to get himself a drink.

"I've done it—the vows are done, they're perfect, and I can finally breathe," Enzo announced and Alaric gave him a quick pat on the back, as his grin met all of their faces. "How about a toast? With all of my best mates?" Enzo's British accent rang through the suite and the men all complied as they rose their drinks and looked to Damon to lead them off into a speech—his first of many today.

"What more can I say other than the fact that I am extremely proud of you and Bonnie for taking the next step in your relationship; you're an inspiration to us all and we will all make it our duty to make sure this day goes off without a hitch… Enzo, you're my best friend and I love you—we all do. Cheers to the beginning of the rest of your life."

"Cheers!" the men all joined in, clinking glasses and exchanging smiles, though Damon's was just a slightly bit more jaded than usual.

If only he could crawl into a hole and die in this moment.

XXXXX

"Are you ready?"

Bonnie looked up from the vows she was studying in her hand to meet the soft chocolate brown eyes that belonged to none other than Elena, as she stood in the doorway and offered an easy smile towards her before approaching the vanity.

The bride looked up and offered a smile of her own as Elena locked the door to the bedroom behind her and her heels clicked against the hardwood floor as she handed Bonnie a glass of water before sitting down beside her.

"I know Caroline insists on plying you with alcohol to help you settle your nerves, but the last thing we need is you vomiting on the ring bearer," Elena joked and Bonnie laughed gently before taking a sip and sighing once she placed the glass down.

There was a brief silence between them, but it was deafening, as Bonnie found herself toying with the delicate sapphire diamond pendant of the necklace around her neck as Elena watched on; her hand met her cheek and stroked it comfortingly.

"You've been practicing those vows for 6 months, you're going to crush it you know," Elena smiled and Bonnie nodded, unconvincingly, while she looked to the ground.

"I know—I know them like the back of my hand," she admitted and the brunette silently agreed, continuing to brush her cheek.

"Good! Because even if you read them from the paper I'm sure Enzo would appreciate them, either way, everything you do makes him happy… Bonnie?"

Elena's brows knitted and her thick black lashes fluttered as her eyes continued to roam Bonnie's face—her skin a perfect shade of brown with hints of gold, but her cat-like green eyes duller than they normally were. Her jet-black hair was perfectly curled and loosely pinned in a half-up half-down hairstyle, ordained with a graceful silver hairpiece, that snaked like a vine throughout her tresses.

Her soft pink lips parted to say something and she stopped—swallowing hard, as she felt Elena's soft palm massage her shoulder blade and she tried to rid the feeling of razor blades and golf balls that suddenly filled her throat.

"Day of anxiety is normal, Bon," Elena eased in a soothing voice, as Bonnie blinked back tears and her best friend bit her lip, "But you're going to be okay—everything will be okay—"

"How could it?" Bonnie finally asked as she looked up—water threatening to stream down her cheeks as it pooled within her eyes, "I-I screwed up, Elena, _really bad—"_

"How? Bonnie… Tell me what you need me to fix and I'm on it," Elena replied with desperate eyes before quickly rising to her feet. "Is it the caterers? The music? I can go find the priest, just let me know what you need—"

"You're not listening," Bonnie said softly and Elena cocked her head with genuine concern. "I screwed up, Elena—_me. _A-And there isn't anything I can do to fix it… it's too late…"

"What's too late, Bonnie? What happened?" Elena asked, as she knelt before her and took both hands into her own. "Are you… having second thoughts?" she asked, immediately regretting the fact that she had to put that out into the universe.

As far as Elena was concerned, Bonnie and Enzo were the ideal couple; one she aspired to be like someday if she met someone. They loved each other unconditionally, they always respected one another, and they remained full of love, stability, light, and passion even after the newness of their relationship wore off; they were the epitome of an epic romance to everyone.

Or so it seemed.

Bonnie had never seemed unsure about Enzo—not once had she voiced a semblance of doubt—yet here she was, on the verge of tears and about to say the unthinkable, and Elena couldn't quite understand how they had gotten here. What had she missed?

"I have to go through with it at this point," Bonnie nodded, tugging at her bottom lip with her teeth to hold it in. "I can't just… walk away."

"Bonnie—you don't have to do _anything _that you don't want to do," Elena declared, much to her dismay. "But I can't help you make that choice without understanding why you feel this way."

Before Bonnie could say anything else, the door suddenly swung open to reveal a bubbly Caroline with her bouquet in hand, and a huge grin plastered across her rosy cheeks, as Bonnie quickly rose to her feet and Elena let out a deep breath she'd been holding in for ten minutes straight.

"It's happening! It's all happening! They're ready for you Bonnie!" Caroline squealed, and Elena took the maid of honor's hand and spoke in a low tone only the three could here, as the suite filled with the voice of the wedding planner, the other bridesmaids, Bonnie's mother Abby and her grandmother Sheila, all talking excitedly in the living room.

"Maybe we should give Bonnie a few more minutes," Elena said softly in effort to alert Caroline to the fact that there was a problem at hand.

The blonde immediately came down from her high and caught on, as she turned to face Bonnie, who looked like she was itching to crawl out of her own skin. She moved forward with a hand on her cheek.

"Bon?"

"I'm okay—I'm fine, let's do this," she forced a smile onto her cheeks and Elena frowned before lowering her voice into a small whisper that was audible only to Bonnie and Caroline.

"Bonnie, you don't have to go through with this if something isn't right—"

"Wait, did something happen? Bonnie, are you okay?" Caroline's eyes darted towards her and Bonnie bit her soft pink lip and offered a weak nod before stepping past her two best friends out of the room and scooping up a champagne flute from the passing tray with a smile on her face, but panic, nausea, and despair bubbling in her belly.

"I just want to thank everyone here for being a part of my journey," Bonnie said loudly enough to gather the attention of everyone in the room—her other two bridesmaids, Camille O'Connell-Mikaelson, Caroline's step-sister, and Sarah Salvatore, Damon and Stefan's half-sister, stepping in with smiles, as did her mother and grandmother, while the photographers continued to snap away at the photo-op. "Thank you all so much for being such a huge part of this love between Enzo and I and I couldn't have asked for a better group to share my laughter, my tears, and my joy with other the past few years. Let's finally go do this," Bonnie finished as a round of applause and cheers filled the room, Elena and Caroline clapping along though they both remained uneasy at the eyes when they glanced at one another.

"I'm ready," Bonnie said in their direction, before she downed the champagne to the last drop and the wedding planner adjusted her veil before handing her, her bouquet of white roses and sunflowers, "I'm ready," she repeated to herself.

As ready as she would ever be, and even then, she presumed that would never be enough.

XXXXX

Damon walked out into the massive courtyard property of the country club and he found Caroline Forbes speaking in a hush animated whisper to his ex-girlfriend, Elena Gilbert, beneath the awning of the entrance to the common area and his fluffy brows rose as they both whipped around to glance at him and call him over, though if he were perfectly honest, he wanted to run the other way.

He'd known Caroline and Elena virtually all his life; Caroline now even had the pleasure of being his sister-in-law. But he still knew better than to walk into the lion's den when those two were up to something, because most people—_especially men —_usually didn't make it back out.

He spun on his Giorgio Armani heel and did just that—walked the opposite direction.

"Damon, get the hell over here," Caroline gritted between teeth and he let out a long sigh before turning back around and obeying her orders.

There were few women in his life he knew to never cross; Caroline Forbes was number 2 through 30.

The minute Damon was over he felt like he was inundated with 21 questions.

"How is Enzo doing? Is he okay? Any pre-marital jitters? Has he spoken to Bonnie? What the hell is going on?" she asked and Damon shrugged flippantly as his hands met his pockets.

"I can't get inside of his head, _Matilda, _but he seems okay… why? What's wrong with Bonnie?"

"We're worried about her," Elena said, as her brown eyes met his blue ones, "she's been acting weird all morning, and she said something about 'screwing up,'" Elena quoted to which Damon went completely rigid and bit his tongue. "Do you have any idea what she's talking about? I can't imagine she'd get cold feet suddenly, when she's wanted this for _so long_," Elena explored and Damon didn't have an answer to that, as it was now Caroline's turn to question him in tandem.

"You saw her last night, right? When you gave her your Mom's necklace?" Caroline asked, suddenly recalling the Salvatore's had been responsible for Bonnie's 'Something Blue' article in the wedding. The sapphire diamond necklace Bonnie had been wearing was straight from the vault of jewelry that belonged to his late mother, Lilian Salvatore; it was a family heirloom Damon had guarded with his life. "Did she say anything when you saw her? Did she seem like she had second thoughts? It just doesn't make any sense," Caroline huffed and Damon's tongue rolled over his teeth, before shaking his head.

"She said… _thank you _for the necklace," he responded to which both girls exhaled defeatedly and he felt the grip of his fingers tightening beyond the mask of his pockets. "Look, I'm sure she's just feeling the pressure of everything finally happening but it'll all be fine," he added, speaking to the fact that Bonnie was his best friend, and there had never been anything he didn't witness her see to the finish.

_No matter how self-destructive it could have been._

Before Caroline could say another word, the wedding planner called everyone over to assemble in line with their partners to prepare for the walk down the aisle and Damon stood comfortably next to Caroline, though out of the corner of his eye he could still see the blonde taking in deep breaths and trying her best to remain composed. In front of them was Elena beside Stefan, Sarah beside Marcel, and Cami with Alaric. His eyes caught a quick glimpse of Enzo with his cousins Alex and Virginia who he'd been able to track down through a simple inquiry, offering quick hugs before he returned to his place to walk Sheila Bennett, Bonnie's grandmother down the aisle, as soon as the processional music began.

Damon took in a deep breath as he extended his arm towards Caroline and she hooked her own through it easily, as they both stared straight ahead at the dazzling courtyard that was filled with dozens of guests on both sides; friends and families from near and afar.

Damon became so lost in his thoughts as the music played on, he almost missed their cue to go as Caroline nudged him with a huge smile on her face, and they walked down the aisle in uneasy silence, while photos snapped and they caught sight of familiar faces in the blur of the crowd.

Caroline attempted one more time to seek the truth.

"We're family now, Damon," she whispered still staring ahead, as they neared the altar, "You would tell me if something was wrong, right?"

Damon inhaled a deep breath—his heart suddenly leaping out of his chest and into his throat as they made it to the end and faced each other—his hand taking Caroline's into his own and kissing the top softly, just as they had practiced. He looked her in the eyes and her glossy blue orbs threatened to fill with tears. He pulled her into a hug and neared her ear so he could speak quietly enough so that no one else could hear him.

"She's okay. She's going to go through with this."

Caroline nodded before they separated and Damon found his place next to Enzo, who was beaming like a man who had just won the jackpot—_because he pretty much was about to_—and Damon formed his best smile for the cameras while they continued to flash, until the inevitable shift in the music caused the mood to change.

Everyone arose from their seats in the audience on cue, and Damon's eyes watched on as the flower girls—Alaric and his wife Jo's 5 and 6 year old daughters, Josette and Elizabeth, came skipping down the aisle happily peppering the way with white rose petals everywhere. The two girls garnered the laughs of the audience as they excitedly bounced their way through the ceremony tossing flowers into the air, until Alaric knelt and waved them over to which they ran into their father's arms and hugged him.

It only distracted Damon for a moment—until he then saw _her._

And it was when he finally admitted that his life had been changed forever by Bonnie Bennett, whether he wanted to ignore it, forget it, or pretend that it had never happened.

He watched, in a sudden cloudy daze, as Bonnie made her way slowly down the aisle, accompanied by her father, Rudy Bennett; her eyes fixed straight ahead on Enzo and his smile growing wider by the moment as he saw her for the first time in her wedding gown and he was absolutely enchanted by her.

Bonnie's strapless white gown made her look like a princess, as Damon's eyes committed to memory every single bead along the fabric and he shamelessly raked over the sweetheart neckline and her bare shoulder blades; imagining his fingers coursing over her smooth skin and unzipping the gown, until it lay in a puddle on the floor.

_He didn't have the right to imagine that—to crave her, anymore—because after all, he didn't say a goddamn thing about it when she told him she'd gotten engaged and she and Enzo wanted him to be the best man._

No, he didn't speak up when he had the chance to and he waited—_too long and too late—_to make his move and let her know how he'd truly felt about her for all of these years, even though he and Elena wasted that time on each other.

He didn't have the right to be here, on her wedding day, like some phony who was _happy _to watch her marry somebody else, when deep down, he knew the jokes about it "being him someday" that they all exchanged were never ever really jokes to him.

Damon Salvatore knew what she meant to him; he knew that Bonnie Bennett was his best friend, sometimes his rival growing up, and ultimately the woman that he loved—he was _in love _with her, despite how wrong, or late, or ridiculous that made him.

And standing here, watching her get ready to devote her life to somebody else just felt like a stab in the heart, as he tried to meet her eyes but failed—_she refused to look at him, rightfully so_—and he was tasked with the burden of watching the love of his life slip away, just like that.

But what more could he do, that he hadn't already done at this point? He hated himself for what he had done.

Bonnie found her place at the altar—her father kissed her cheek softly and shook Enzo's hand before taking his seat in the front row next to her mother and her grandmother. Damon watched as her parents held hands and held back tears at the sight of their daughter—_their baby —_finally getting everything she'd ever wanted and then some.

How could he stand in the way of that if he truly loved her?

And because he loved her, he wouldn't. He couldn't say a damn thing.

He vaguely listened on as the priest took them through one of many speeches and his hands itched as he slid them into his pockets and looked down at his feet for most of Father Kieran O'Connell's words about love finding us when we need it the most—about it being at the right time when God believed it so. He wanted to laugh at the irony of that.

Damon felt Bonnie and Enzo's wedding bands gripped within his palm and he held onto them so tightly, he was sure he could've crushed them if he wanted to. He didn't have the chance when he was snapped out of his thoughts by Father Kieran's voice and was asked to hand them over.

He watched on silently, still feeling the weight of Bonnie's wedding band in his hands—the last shred of hope that he had to hang onto, literally—even though it was gone as the priest continued to take them through this.

Father Kieran smiled at the couple before turning to the audience and asking the fateful words Damon had longed to hear all morning despite how much of a shitty person that made him.

"If anyone objects to this union to be formed between Enzo St. John and Bonnie Bennett, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Damon looked up and swallowed hard, completely stoic as he glanced at all 150 guests and everyone remained bright eyed and bushy-tailed. It seemed even Caroline and Elena had gotten over whatever was plaguing them just 15 minutes before as both girls appeared to don looks of relief that this was actually going to happen and Bonnie Bennett was going to get her happy ending.

Damon's eyes roamed to Bonnie, as he held onto Enzo's hands before hers and her husband-to-be smiled at her so brightly, his grin could have engulfed them all into the sun.

"Since there are no objections, we shall proceed—"Kieran continued only to be interrupted by a small voice that finally had the courage to speak up and it shook Damon down to the core just when he saw who it was.

"I do," Bonnie said and Enzo smirked as he gripped her hands tighter and shook his head.

"We haven't gotten to that part yet, love," he responded and the audience tittered at that, though Bonnie's face remained serious while she looked into his eyes.

Damon was suddenly holding his breath.

"No I—I mean I… I can't, Enzo… I…" she sounded breathless as she looked up at him and his face turned to immediate disbelief once he realized what she was saying; a small murmur dispensed through the crowd as everyone was sure they heard what she had just said but they didn't quite believe she had said it.

"Bonnie—" he started and her eyes immediately filled with tears and in seconds they were running down her cheeks as she removed her hands from his grip and reached for her canary diamond ring to which Enzo stopped her and drew her in closely. "Bonnie, I understand if you're afraid but we can do this, okay? Hold on just a little while longer."

"I can't marry you, I'm sorry," she said choked up in tears, as she regained her hands, removed the ring and held it in front of him, though the shock and disappointment in Enzo's face already let her know he was not going to take it, "Enzo, please."

"No," he shook his head as his brows furrowed and Bonnie hiccupped back a tear as she watched his eyes filling with their own, "I need to know why—what's happening?"

Bonnie didn't offer a response as she spun around and slapped the ring into Caroline's hand, as her maid of honor wore such a look of distress, it looked like she was liable to have a panic attack at any moment. Bonnie stepped down from the altar and all but _ran _out of the ceremony, leaving behind a room so silent, you could hear a pin drop.

Caroline immediately went after her and Father Kieran urged everyone to remain calm and seated, as this sort of thing "happened sometimes" and Bonnie would be back in a moment, hopefully.

_Hopefully._

"I just don't understand what happened," Damon heard, Enzo's voice trying to reason with what just happened, as he spoke to Abby and Rudy who were just as stunned as he was, calmly reassuring him that everything would be okay.

When he looked up and saw Sheila staring at him, however, something in her eyes told him she knew the exact reason why Bonnie Bennett had run off and it wasn't a matter of _what _happened.

It was a matter of _who._

XXXXX

"Bon?" Caroline called as she walked into the bridal suite, in hopes of finding her there. She immediately sighed when she saw Bonnie on the ground, heels already off, packing her things into her bag and wiping away the tears that streamed her face, "Bonnie."

She looked up—a hysterical, disheveled, _beautiful mess_—and Caroline immediately knelt beside her, arms wrapped over her shoulders and she let her cry; a waterfall of tears streaming onto her while she held her tightly and cried with her as well.

After a few moments, Bonnie finally pulled away long enough wipe her face once more as Caroline handed her a napkin and she spoke in a soft shaky tone, though she was trying so hard to be strong.

"I had to be honest with him—with myself," Bonnie said gently and Caroline nodded in understanding though she truly felt like she still didn't understand. "I couldn't live a lie."

"What lie, Bonnie?" Caroline asked softly and Bonnie looked down again, avoiding her eyes, "You know that you're my best friend and I love you—I always will. And you can tell me anything—even if you think I might not like it," Caroline eased and Bonnie knew it was true.

Caroline may have been stubborn and judgmental at times, but she ultimately just wanted to see the people that she loved _happy_. And knowing that Bonnie was unhappy enough to call off her wedding just now urged her to want to get to the bottom of this because she cared about her. Bonnie Bennett was one of her best friends—she considered her, her _sister. _And whatever was hurting Bonnie was hurting her too. She just needed to know once and for all what was really going on.

Bonnie looked up at her with glowing green eyes, now stripped of the false eyelashes she had on before and she nervously exhaled a breath as she shook her head.

"I don't know how to say it."

"You have to, Bon," Caroline eased as she rubbed her shoulder and looked into her eyes, "Because there is a man down there, who was ready to spend the rest of a lifetime with you and… he has to know why that's not going to happen," she said and Bonnie nodded because she knew she was right.

Enzo deserved better than being left high and dry at the altar, after all that he had been through in his life, and though she didn't have the courage to tell _him _why she was doing this, she had to tell someone.

Starting with the person who would probably take this just as badly as he would, given she ever found the strength to it out loud, ever again.

"I… slept with somebody else," she finally said in a voice so small but so clear, Caroline had to let the silence filter between them for a moment for her to understand just what she had actually heard.

She looked up into Bonnie's eyes and she cleared her throat but was staring straight back at her.

Yes, she really did just hear what she thought she heard.

"Wait, wha—Bonnie? T-This whole time?"

"No, of course not, it was once," she nodded and Caroline sighed, as she watched Bonnie bite her lip. "I… may have had too much to drink and the opportunity was just _there _and I slipped."

"But if it was a mistake and it was _just once_, I think Enzo would be willing to forgive that," Caroline said, still stunned, but optimism seeping into her voice. "You can just explain to him you were drinking—you weren't in your right state of mind and you didn't intend for it to happen… Bonnie, he'll forgive you," she said assuredly and Bonnie knew she was right.

If she told Enzo she got drunk, slept with some random guy, and didn't recollect any of it, he absolutely would still be upset but she knew in her heart he would look past it and be able to forgive her; it was just the type of man that he was. And she knew as simple as that, they'd take time, but be able to re-plan this entire wedding and all would be forgotten—as though it never happened.

_But she'd know that it did. He would know too. And try as he might he'd never be able to trust her again._

Caroline rubbed both of Bonnie's cheeks with her thumbs and offered an understanding glance as she pieced Bonnie's story together.

"It was a mistake," she repeated as Bonnie met her eyes again and Caroline sat up straighter. "We all make mistakes. But what's important is that you owned up to it Bonnie, and it doesn't mean that this has to be the end—"

"It was last night, Caroline," Bonnie revealed, as her shame sank even further in and she listened as Caroline let out an audible sigh. "I… had sex with Damon."

Caroline's eyes nearly bugged out of her head and she dropped her hands as a look of incredulity marred her perfect features and Bonnie relished in the fact that _this _was the more appropriate reaction that she had been expecting from Caroline after finding out that she slept with her best guy friend; Caroline's own _brother-in-law._

Now the silence was heavy.

Caroline swallowed hard and her forehead wrinkled as she tried to think within reason—the _what, when, why, how _all begging to be confirmed to her and Bonnie read it all on her face, as her guilt multiplied tenfold within her veins and bubbled like an active volcano threatening a release.

"I'm sorry… did you say Damon? As in… Damon _Salvatore? _Your best friend? _My _brother-in-law? _The fucking best man at your wedding?" _Caroline asked evenly, though the rage in her crystal blue eyes was clear and she looked like she was ready to spin-off into another dimension. "Y-You slept with _Damon? _How did this even happen?"

Before Bonnie could respond they heard Caroline's cell phone ring and she stood to her feet to retrieve it out of her bag, quickly reading the name across the screen before drawing in a deep breath and placing it to her ear.

"Hey, Stefan," she said as she looked into Bonnie's eyes and she hugged her knees and listened on. "Yeah, I'm with her now, she's fine, just shaken up…"she replied to his inquiry and then Bonnie watched as Caroline swallowed hard and took a pause to whatever it was Stefan had asked her before finally responding, "Yeah, I think it'd be best if everyone just left… Bonnie isn't coming back down… Okay, see you soon. I love you too."

Caroline hung up and crossed both arms over her chest as an uncomfortable silence filled the room and Bonnie tucked her new loose tresses behind her ears and looked down to the ground.

"I'm sorry," she responded softly as she continued to pack, because really, what else could she say?

She'd wasted everyone's time, money, and energy by even waking up this morning and thinking she could still go through with this after what had happened with Damon last night.

She was out of her mind to think that she could scrub it away, as she remembered her shower this morning, eager to wash away her fear, disappointment, and regret that she had with herself.

Bonnie looked up when Caroline sat back onto the ground beside her and began to help her pack her bags before finally saying something in response.

"Do you love him, Bonnie?"

Bonnie nodded as she still looked down, folding her white silk robe that said "Bride" across the back.

"Of course I do—I hate that I hurt Enzo because I love him so much—"

"That's not who I was talking about," Caroline said simply and Bonnie looked up from the garment in her hand to meet Caroline's eyes that were filled with a mixture of unease, sadness, and eagerness to understand as she awaited the answer to her question. "I have to know… because you were willing to risk being with Enzo forever for him… Do you love Damon?"

Bonnie's heartbeat sped up at that and she shrugged looking back at her suitcase.

"It doesn't matter—nothing matters anymore."

"Was it just sex or do you love him, Bonnie?" Caroline repeated more assertively and Bonnie looked up again to see the fire in her eyes as she stared right back at her, now demanding an answer.

"I'm still trying to figure that out, okay?" Bonnie shot back as Caroline's mouth shut and Bonnie shook her head. "Did I sleep with him because I want to be with him? I have no idea. Did I sleep with him because he's so _different _than Enzo is, and he represents all of things that I can't admit that I want? I don't know. But what I _do _know is that I did it, I can't take it back, and now I have to live with it," Bonnie zipped her suitcase shut and hopped to her feet. "I just lost the love of my life for something I'm not even sure about and I wish I could tell you why but I can't; I can't explain what came over me. I can't explain why I wanted to kiss him—I _don't know _why it felt so _good _to finally kiss him—over and over and over again," Bonnie said as her mind quickly recollected the moment when Damon's lips met hers—the soft but tantalizing _warmth _that pierced through her senses like a shot of dopamine straight to the veins.

She still felt that kiss lingering on her lips, even just thinking about it.

Bonnie shook her hands to free herself of the memory and Caroline remained silent as she watched on.

"I just need time to figure it out," Bonnie announced as she pressed her hands to her cheeks. "I know that you're angry with me, Caroline—"

"I am, Bonnie but I will take this to the grave if you need me to," Caroline finally stood up as well and neared her, with honesty in her eyes. "I will not tell _anyone, _Bonnie. Not Enzo, not Stefan, not Elena," she said as Bonnie suddenly realized that if this situation didn't already make her shitty enough, she totally broke girl code. "I'm here to talk when you need to… or when you don't—"

Bonnie interrupted her speech to pull her into a hug and Caroline immediately reciprocated as her arms wrapped around her shoulders and she felt the girl hold her even tighter as the moments passed on.

And they stood like that for the next minutes, without another word passed between them.

**A/N: Hey everyone! So I am back with anoooooother story I just couldn't get out of my head once I thought of the concept (I have been on a wedding fic AU kick lately) and I promise this one wont be too long, maybe 10 chapters max? Just something to help with my writer's block as I try to work on Back to the Start and Waking Up in Vegas, if anyone is waiting for me to update those. So what do we think? Yay or Nay on a little bit of a Bamon/Bonenzo runaway bride cheating scandal? I must admit, I did a recent rewatch of TVD and I did absolutely fall in love with Bonnie and Enzo (Boo! Hiss!) so this fic is in no way an attempt to undermine their canon relationship because I did actually really love it. But there's something about Bamon, man, especially AU/AH that gets me back here every time giving y'all more fics to read, which I truly hope you all do not mind. I just really love writing them. With that said, there will likely be some Bonenzo moments in this fic (probably mostly in flashbacks and some in the present) but Bamon is the main pairing and will be the primary focus. Thoughts? Comments? Love? Hate? R/R and as always, thank you. I will be updating one of the aforementioned stories within the next two weeks so please bear with me. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Side Effects**

**A/N: Holy smokes, thank you so much for all of the love you guys! Honestly reading all of your reviews made my day and I'm so happy you guys are here for this. Happy holidays today if you are celebrating and lol maybe possibly don't read the end of this chapter within the company of your family. **** You've been warned. **

"Are you ready?"

Bonnie inhaled a deep breath as she stared straight ahead, seatbelt still on as she sat on the passenger side of Caroline's Ford Fiesta—her heartbeat tripling and palms sweating before she finally nodded in the blonde's direction, though she knew she wasn't ready at all.

Caroline tried to offer an encouraging smile—as encouraging as she could be, anyway—while the two slowly got out of the car and stared up at the bungalow styled house before them, that Bonnie and Enzo had purchased just last year in Mystic Falls.

Bonnie swallowed hard as she dug for her keys in her coat pocket and Caroline hugged the armful of boxes she retrieved from the backseat of her car when they made it to the door.

It'd been two weeks since the wedding and Bonnie had been staying at Stefan and Caroline's home since then, unable to bring herself to finally do this because once she did she knew it was officially over between she and Enzo.

He'd been calling her for days—since the night of the wedding, in fact—and she finally decided to answer two days ago but much to Enzo's dismay, it was to inform him she'd be coming over today to get the last of her things. She'd found her own condo in Mystic Falls and Caroline was going to come with her to help her pack.

He was speechless and taken aback, she could tell over the line, and the only thing he said in response was _"Okay. I'll make sure I won't be around to get in your way."_

Bonnie thanked him for that because after all, this entire thing was already hard enough. The last thing she needed was Enzo hanging around the home that they had built together, while she removed every trace of herself from it, once and for all.

When the front door swung open, Bonnie inhaled the familiar scent of his woodsy cologne and she felt dizzy with anxiousness as she stepped into the foyer and pursed her lips together at the feeling of Caroline's arm snaking over her shoulder and offering an encouraging squeeze at they stared into the modern home together.

The surrealism of it had overtaken them both.

Caroline forged a smile on her pink lips as she grabbed her hand and led her upstairs to the second floor, where the master bedroom and walk-in closet were both located.

Bonnie ignored the feeling surging in her stomach as she walked into their bedroom and she immediately got to work, as she opened a box and began by opening the dresser drawers on her side and removed all of belongings while Caroline headed for the closet and began to pack her shoes.

They sat in amicable silence for a half hour or so—the only sound in the house the rustling of items as they cleared everything out and put it into boxes to bring to Bonnie's new condo.

Bonnie was only awakened from her thoughts that were racing a mile a minute when she heard Caroline clear her throat from across the room. She looked up and met her translucent blue eyes.

"Have you heard from Damon?" she asked and Bonnie exhaled before shaking her head, continuing to arrange her things perfectly, though her hands were shaking.

"I haven't. And that's a good thing, I think… It's probably for the best," she said and Caroline licked her teeth in response while Bonnie continued on. "He probably feels just as guilty about this as I do."

"Are you kidding? You broke off your engagement and walked away from your own wedding because of him… And now, you're moving. If anything, he's probably having a champagne toast to himself," Caroline snorted to which Bonnie didn't answer that. "I'm sorry, I just… I know Damon. He's capable of doing bad things to good people for no reason but you… I'm still so confused on how this all happened, Bon."

"Trust me, I am too," she answered, not looking up, though she felt Caroline's eyes burning holes through her shirt. "I never knew he felt that way about me… And I guess I didn't know I felt that way about _him _until it happened…" she trailed off and finally looked up, meeting the blonde's curious stare. "It's just all so strange."

"But it must mean something, Bonnie," Caroline eased as the brunette pressed her lips shut. "Look, I'm pissed off at you both if I'm honest… Enzo is my friend too, and if you were having second thoughts, you could've talked to him about it before things got to this point but…"

"But?"

"It's obvious it wasn't just _Enzo_ that made you unsure. It was Damon obviously."

"And what do you suggest I do, Caroline?

What I did was wrong—I really, really fucked up. And it would only push the dagger deeper if I came right out and admitted it; that yeah _maybe, _all this time, I was attracted to Damon, in all his confusing, moody, asshole glory.. And all it took was him finally making a move for me to realize it and that's terrifying because I thought I would spend the rest of my life with Enzo… I thought he was the love of my life; _my soulmate_—"

"And maybe he still is, Bonnie. Maybe this was all one big fat mistake that you needed to make to realize that you don't want to be without him," Caroline said evenly as Bonnie tucked a strand behind her ear. "Or maybe he's not… Maybe he was the right guy, just not the right guy for _you_—and that's okay… Maybe you fell in love with the perception of what you thought was perfection. Maybe it felt so right because you wanted it to be; you _wanted _him to be The One. But he's not… Should you have gone about it differently? Of course, Bonnie, but… you're only human. And you're allowed to change your mind. You're allowed to want _more._"

Bonnie remained silent at that because she knew Caroline was right; she loved Enzo, she knew that she did, but there was something that had always been missing from their relationship, though she did her best to try to disguise it with her happiness even as the feeling had never really gone away in all of the three years they were together.

She loved him. She loved the way that he loved her, completely and unconditionally, and it never really bothered her that she and Enzo were _comfortable _because it made her feel safe and stable within his company and in their relationship. Being with Enzo never challenged her—it was as if he had just fallen into her lap and she never questioned it, because she thought perhaps love could be like that; _effortless, systematic, and easy. _

Loving him was _easy—_as easy as your favorite song when you let it play on repeat and you knew every word, every octave to hit, as you sang along to every word, over and over again.

But her favorite song had soon become one of predictability, she realized, and though she'd successfully warded those thoughts out of her mind when they dined at one of their favorite restaurants over their favorite glass of champagne, the feeling hit her every once in a while, when was alone or drunk—_or both_—that maybe she _was _settling. They both were, in a way. And though Enzo had been the most romantic lover she'd ever had, romance didn't automatically equal passion. They were on a routine, despite how much of the world they saw and how many new books they read together.

He'd swept her off her feet, the very first night she'd met him, and she expected to remain enchanted, but she hadn't. And it wasn't until Damon's hand met her jaw did she feel the _thing _she'd been wanting—_yearning—_to feel all these years with Enzo, though he never quite got there.

It was _passion; _unmistakable, unequivocal, raw desire, that made her tingle from her toes, all the way up to every stand on her head.

It made her feel like she was speeding on a motorcycle with her hands off the grips and her arms in the air. It made her want to act out of character from the Bonnie that everybody thought that they knew. The threat of danger, the possibility of getting caught, it all thrilled her—Damon was the was the storm and the night he kissed her, she wanted to be engulfed in his clouds; caught out in his rain.

It made her feel like every nerve ending in her body was on fire, and then some, when he lifted her into his strong arms, biceps bulging around her, and pushed her up against the wall in the Boarding House living room—devouring every drop of alcohol that stained her lips, and getting her drunker on his kiss than she ever could have been on any bottle of whiskey.

He was as sweet as a bottle of her favorite Vin Santo Rosso, as she remembered the curve of his mouth against hers—Damon's piquant tongue and greedy hands all over her in an instant, when he stripped her down to her red lace bra and she grabbed his hair by the fistful just to catch a moment to _breathe_, because it felt like all of the air had escaped from her lungs.

Her skin felt hot just thinking about it—_thinking about him_—and she swallowed hard as Caroline continued to observe her formally brown skin now a shade of pink at the cheeks, while she continued to pack, but addressed the monstrous elephant in the room now that she knew exactly what Bonnie was thinking about, just by the look on her face.

"At the risk of misjudging our priorities I have to know… how was it?"

Bonnie looked up and furrowed her brows as she rubbed her neck and shook her head dumbly.

"How was what?"

"How was the sex?" Caroline asked bluntly and Bonnie scoffed as she shook her head and folded her arms though Caroline's eyes remained inquisitive. "I've avoided asking you for two weeks because this whole thing was very _fresh. _But now that we are literally moving you out of you and Enzo's place I considered it safe to add the discussion to the Okay To Talk About Pile—"

"Care, no—I'm not talking about how Damon was in bed as we literally are in the bedroom of my ex-fiancé. That's just wrong."

"Oh honey, you are _way _past wrong and on the way to Hell," Caroline answered and Bonnie snorted at that. "You were _just _thinking about Damon, with me sitting here. Don't get self-righteous on me now."

"Fine, I thought about it. For a split second," she admitted and Caroline rolled her eyes, "doesn't mean I wanted to talk about."

In all the years she and Damon had been friends from childhood neither one of them had ever crossed that line in their friendship so she honestly could not have anticipated what it would have been like the second they did. The night before her wedding, she saw a different side to Damon and try as she might, because it made her feel wrong, she couldn't get him out of her head and the two week cooling period since their night together had done nothing but make her want to see him more.

It made her want to make the same mistake all over again.

"I think you should call him," Caroline announced and Bonnie's green eyes nearly bugged out of her head.

"Come again? You think I should call Damon? And say what?"

"That you want to see him, to talk in person," Caroline responded as if Bonnie's question was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard, though the brunette was still staring at her as if she had grown five extra heads. "Look, it's not like you gotta start seeing the guy five minutes after breaking your engagement to Enzo but you should probably clear the air. Just so you're both on the same page as far as what happened, and whether or not you're going to tell Enzo about it… and if it's going to happen again—"

"Are you high? Of course we are not telling Enzo and we are also not doing it again," Bonnie huffed with arms folded across her sweater. "Unless you're okay with your brother in law being admitted into the ICU."

"I wouldn't be opposed. I love Damon, he's like family to me although he's a selfish asshole if I've ever seen one. But… there is a hint—a very small, tiny, microscopic hint—of selflessness when it comes to you Bonnie. There always has been, so… talk to him. At least as a friend, I… don't know that it would do him any good to lose you."

Bonnie didn't say anything to that as she went back to packing.

XXXXXX

"I got the last two boxes out the truck from the shipment," Stefan announced, as he placed the cases of beer on the shiny black marble countertop and dusted off his hands on his Levi's as Damon stood behind the bar. "Where do you want everything?"

"I'll take those, thank you," Damon said as Stefan shifted everything over and he watched on as his brother began to tear open the boxes of local craft beer and line them up into the refrigerator before Stefan slid onto a chair and grabbed then clipboard to mark down the inventory.

This had been their routine, every Thursday afternoon, for the past five years, and Stefan would never tell Damon that he looked forward to it, and it wasn't just because it was a chance to leave the kids at home with a baby sitter for a few hours.

But it was because he loved this place, Damon's bar, named Black Crow, that sat right in the middle of the town next to their favorite place to eat growing up, the Mystic Grill. When Damon and Stefan's father Giuseppe retired with his wife and Sarah's mother, Gail, to Italy, he left all three of his kids an inheritance that would make a financial advisor's mouth water, and made each of them promise that they would put the money to good use.

So far, so good, as Damon chose to invest some, and open up his own bar with the rest. And he wasn't doing too bad, seeing as it had become a regular point of interest to the locals and a hotspot for the tourists who read Yelp reviews about "the smoking hot blue-eyed owner, who could do a spread for Giorgio Armani in GQ if he wanted to."

Their words, not his.

He also cut a hefty, but anonymous, check to Mystic Falls general hospital to aid with things such as cancer treatment, research and prevention. It had been a place that he spent a lot of time in as a kid when his mother Lily passed away and he hoped his wealth could save somebody else, even if he hadn't been so lucky.

Bonnie was the only person he'd ever told about that donation.

Stefan had used a portion of his money to buy a home for his family, completely remodel to the Mystic Falls fire department that he worked for, and open a school for gifted underprivileged children, in which Caroline was an elementary school teacher at.

And Sarah, their baby sister, was an art major in the masters photography program at Duke, so she hadn't quite gotten around to deciding what to do with her money yet, but she wanted to open up a studio in downtown Mystic Falls and lend a philanthropic hand to the towns music and art programs for kids and teenagers.

As far Giuseppe was concerned, he'd never have to leave the Italian countryside, so long as his kids all had their shit together, and lucky for him, they were all doing the best they could.

So while Stefan was never officially employed by Damon he had always seen it as his duty to make sure things were in order, and his brother liked the company, so it was just as easy as that.

"Did you order more of that pink lemonade vodka? Seems like it's flying off the shelf," Stefan noted as he checked the inventory and Damon nodded as he rearranged a few bottles.

"Sure did. The kids all seem to love it. Who would have known Donovan knew what the hell he was talking about," Damon said and Stefan snorted at he looked up.

"You're not still giving Matt a hard time, are you? Just because—"

"Because he's courting our little sister? Absolutely," Damon admitted and Stefan groaned. "Of all the guys in this town that Sarah could've set her sights on, she chose my bartender. With one brain cell."

"If you hate him so much why does he still work here?"

"Have you seen those baby blues? He rakes in the tips like nobody's business. I just don't want him anywhere near our sister with them," Damon smiled sweetly and Stefan rolled his eyes at that before folding both hands on the bar.

"She's an adult and she's happy. We have no say," he said diplomatically and Damon snorted at that as he continued to pack beer. "Speaking of happiness… please don't let me leave here without reminding me that I need to buy Caroline a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream on my way home," he said and Damon scoffed at that though Stefan's eyes remained dead serious.

"What did you do this time? Forget to wipe down the oven at a perfect 90 degree angle?"

"I did nothing. She's just gonna exhausted today. Apparently she's helping Bonnie move out of she and Enzo's house," Stefan eased and Damon's breezy expression became tense while his brother continued on. "So I'm guessing this is real—she got her own condo and is officially moving out. I'm just so surprised this actually happened," Stefan mused and Damon swallowed hard but nodded as he busied himself with another box.

"Yeah me too," he said shortly and Stefan sighed as he sat up straighter and shook his head.

"I mean, did she talk to you at all? Caroline says Bonnie won't even open to her about it—"

"No idea," Damon said curtly as his jaw locked. "I haven't talked to Bon-Bon in weeks so beats me why she got cold feet."

Before Stefan could respond to that they heard the front door to the bar open and Damon was just about to inform the patron they were not open yet until he looked up and saw a pair of bloodshot brown eyes staring straight back at him, as a forced smile crossed his bearded mouth and he slid onto the chair at the bar next to Stefan, placing his head straight down on the counter top.

Stefan's eyes widened as he glanced at Damon who looked like he had just seen a ghost and cleared his throat and fully stood to his feet dusting off his hands.

"Hey Enzo, what are you doing here?" Damon asked softly and the man finally sat up in his seat, pulling off his black jacket and taking out his wallet, to which he placed a 100 dollar bill on the counter top and offered Damon a bitter grin.

"You, mate, are going to get me very, very, _very_ drunk to distract me away from the fact that the love of my life is moving out of the home we bought together, right now, and it's actually over. Bonnie and I are over," Enzo said as he combed his beard with his fingers and Stefan frowned before placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it softly. "And for the life of me, I still don't know what I did wrong. Did we move too fast? Did I come on too strong? Did it not matter what I did because she found someone else?"

Stefan instantly shook his head at that and was the first to speak up.

"You know that didn't happen, that isn't like her," Stefan eased and Damon remained silent as he watched the devastation in Enzo's eyes continuing to build while he ticked his jaw.

"That's almost worse," he laughed humorlessly, "I almost wish she had just left me for somebody else because if she didn't… it just means it's over, for no reason other than she fell out of love with me. While I am completely still in love with her."

There was silence between the three for a moment and Damon finally turned around and grabbed three shot glasses and a bottle of tequila off of the top shelf. He picked up Enzo's $100 dollar bill off of the counter top and handed it back to him, with a soft look in his blue eyes.

"Tonight's on the house," he said and Enzo offered a small smile at that as he stuffed the money back into his pocket and he and Stefan watched Damon as he poured three shots. "It's the least I can do."

"_Especially because I fucked your fiancé and I'm the reason why she left you," he added to the sentence in his head. _

The three men took the shot back and Enzo immediately reached for the glass to pour himself another as Damon and Stefan watched on in silence.

"She won't even talk to me," Enzo said airily, as the ring on his finger tapped against the countertop. "I mean, if she was having cold feet I was fine with that, we could have postponed everything. I would have waited for her," he admitted nodding his head. "But nothing; no conversation, no reason, no closure… it's like I'm meant to just put the pieces together and join the dots but she hasn't given me anything. She doesn't answer my text messages or phone calls… The first I heard from her was to inform me that she was moving out. And I couldn't say anything other than I would stay out of her way."

Damon inhaled a deep breath as his felt his brother's eyes on him—studying him for a long moment— before he cleared his throat and said quite possibly the dumbest thing he ever could have said, and Damon was absolutely counting all of the times his younger brother had been as high as a kite.

"Maybe Damon can speak to her for you," Stefan offered and Damon's forehead immediately wrinkled as his eyes shot and and glared at Stefan's. "I mean, Bonnie's his best friend, he knows her better than anyone. Even Caroline."

"Clearly I don't, Stefan," Damon spat back hotly before he shook his head and leveled out his tone. "I mean, she didn't tell me she was moving out or getting her own place… I-I don't know anything."

"But she'll open up to you," Enzo finally chimed in, his voice sad, as he dragged his finger around the rim of the shot, and looked up to meet Damon's incredulous stare. "Try as she might to bust your chops but Bonnie adores you, Damon… she holds you in high regard and your opinion matters to her… I just—I _need _one talk, just for the sake of my sanity. If she can give me closure—_if you can do that for me_—I will let it go. I will let her go forever if it's what she wants and I won't be of any trouble to her, I swear... But I need your help… I'm desperate. I've never felt so desperate."

Damon's lips pressed shut and he glanced over at Stefan who was staring at him in clear agreement with Enzo's words and he exhaled.

Enzo wanted closure and he would finally let it go. It was as simple as that. And if he got Enzo the closure he needed maybe he wouldn't have to feel so guilty about the fact that he'd dreamt about Bonnie every single night for the past two weeks or that he imagined what it would be like to be with her—_inside of her_—again, despite the fact that she had just broken his best friend's heart, and was stomping on his. If Enzo got closure, he could move on with his life and perhaps Damon wouldn't feel like such a shitty person for tearing apart an almost-marriage that he felt was doomed from the start, anyway.

Enzo just needed one conversation. And he would finally be free.

Before Damon could answer however, his phone on the counter began ringing and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head when he saw the name flash across the screen and he snatched it up quickly, though he was sure Stefan had seen it as well, while Enzo had taken to abandoning his shot glass and just drinking straight from the shot bottle.

Stefan shot him a curious glance and Damon pressed the answer button as he placed the phone to his ear and vacated from the back of the bar towards the office where he could close the door shut and have this conversation in private.

_As if that didn't make him even more suspicious. _

"Bon?" He asked, as the air in his lungs suddenly felt tight and his hands turned a ghostly white as he listened for her voice on the other end of the receiver to prove that this was real—and the universe wasn't playing mind tricks with his head.

"_Hi," _she said, almost breathlessly, and about thirty seconds of heavy silence passed between them before she spoke again, this time a bit more firmly. "_How have you been?"_

"Awful," he responded honestly, as he slicked back his dark hair and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Can you relate?"

"_I can, yeah," _she eased and he sat down at his desk though his hands were fidgeting and his throat was itching with anticipation as to what she was going to say next. He truthfully didn't even know where to start. "_Which is why I called you, I think we should talk, in person."_

"Okay," he nodded as he bit his lip. "When? And where?"

"_How about tonight? You can come by my condo, I just moved," _she said.

"Fine_… _should I take the address down or…"

"_I'll text it to you,_" she answered and Damon felt his heartbeat racing at the fact that this was finally it—he and Bonnie were going to have a talk and either it would go really well or really badly, depending on if they were on the same page about this or not.

Damon knew what he wanted—_and it was her. _But he knew that he couldn't have her until Enzo was out of the picture. And he wasn't sure what Bonnie wanted—if anything at all—but he knew that he was terrified to find out.

"_So I'll see you tonight? Around 8?" _She added and Damon nodded before clearing this throat and gripping his iPhone even tighter.

"8 is fine… See you soon then."

"_See you soon," _she hung up and he tossed the phone onto the table—as he let out the breath he'd been holding and he prepared himself for what he would say when he walked back out there to face Enzo and Stefan, now that his brother knew Bonnie had called not less than ten minutes after Damon had said he hadn't heard from her.

Horrific timing, if you asked him.

But he couldn't deny that the sound of her voice—strong but timid, as it echoed in his head—rattled him right down to his core as he walked out of the office and back towards the bar.

He stuffed his phone and his hands into his jeans pockets and Enzo looked up from the bottle of Avìon long enough to shoot Damon an optimistic glance as Stefan remained silent but patient to hear what it was that Bonnie had to say.

"So was she open to it?" Enzo asked immediately as Damon ticked his jaw. "Stefan said that was Bonnie—did she say anything about me? Did she agree to talk?"

Damon smoothed his hair back and offered a tight lipped smile as he tried to figure out the best way to dance himself around this without appearing too obvious.

"She's getting there," he eased and Enzo's stare remained hopeful as Damon pursed his lips. "She just needs time. But I'm sure she'll eventually be able to give you all of the answers that you need," Damon said diplomatically and Enzo sighed as he placed the bottle to his lips again and took another swig before he set it back down and stood to his feet, car keys jingling in hand.

"Very well then. I'll just remain a sitting duck until she's ready I suppose," he said as he reached for his coat and Damon circled around the bar to where Enzo was standing.

"Hey, where are you going? It'd be terribly irresponsible if I didn't drive you after letting you drink half that bottle by yourself," Damon said and Enzo smiled drunkenly as he patted Damon on the chest and looked him in the eye.

"Damon Salvatore—a stand up man if I've ever met one… there's a reason why I'm so honored to call you my best friend."

Damon didn't respond to that as he searched his own pockets for the keys to his Chevy Camaro and nodded at Stefan who seemed like he had something to say, but decided to save it for another time.

"I'll watch the bar until Matt gets here," the younger Salvatore settled for.

"Thank you. Oh and uh, don't forget to get Caroline that ice cream."

Stefan nodded precariously at that and watched on as Damon and Enzo exited the bar.

Something just wasn't fucking right and he knew it.

XXXXX

Bonnie glanced around the living room of her brand new condo in downtown Mystic Falls, as she had unpacked most of her personal effects and her newly delivered furniture had been delivered and installed over the past few days while she was still staying with Stefan and Caroline.

She rummaged through the boxes in the living room for her university diploma—the one that made her certified to become an Occult Studies professor at Whitmore College, just like her Grams was, and she glanced up at the clock on the wall when she saw that it was 7:55 and Damon would be here in just a few minutes.

Not that she needed her diplomas up to impress him—he was the last person to care about that. But she needed to keep herself busy so she wasn't thinking about the fact that she felt like she could actually shit bricks just from how nervous she was to finally see him after everything that had transpired.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when the door bell rang but she stood up calmly, tucking her long black hair behind her ears and smoothing her palms over the front of her jeans as she walked towards the entrance and let out a deep breath before her hand touched the door knob and twisted it open.

"Hi."

"Hey."

And there he was.

In all his moody, broody, blue-eyed glory.

With flowers. Red roses, actually, and Bonnie gave him a look of surprise before she extended the door to allow him enough space to walk in and she felt her hands shaking as she locked the door behind him and offered a warm but skittish smile, to which Damon reacted with the same.

"Here, I'll take your coat and put those in water," she finally said and he complied as he slipped off his signature, staple, black leather jacket and she did her best not to look at the familiar bulge of his biceps when he took it off, though her body immediately ached to be wrapped up into those arms once again.

She really needed to get a grip.

Damon followed Bonnie into the kitchen and she filled a vase with water as he handed her the bouquet that she still couldn't believe he got for her, and she placed it on the kitchen table. They headed back into the living room and his eyes roamed around the place appreciatively before he looked back towards her with a smug smile.

"Not bad, Bennett. Definitely a lot better than I imagined, given your previous design choices," he quipped and her brows furrowed as he spun around and stopped before her. "What, you don't remember your childhood bedroom? Or your teenage bedroom? Or your dorm at Whitmore?"

Bonnie scoffed at that as she folded her arms and tilted her head in response.

"What about them?"

"Besides the fact that they were awful? In the 5th grade you had that weird Furby obsession so those damn dolls were everywhere, in the 10th grade, you had your walls lined with Nelly posters, in college you decided you decided you were 'emo,' or so you thought, and that one was probably the worst—"

"Oh, _please_. This, coming from the guy who went through three separate identity crises. The first one, in which you wanted to be like George Michael so you pierced your ear yourself and got a mullet. The next was Eminem, when you buzzed your head and dyed it platinum blonde, and then the next when you wanted to look like Mark McGrath, so you waxed your eyebrows and frosted your tips," Bonnie replied and Damon laughed at that in fond memory of all of his terrible fashion choices because really, who the hell did he think he was?

Damon sat down on the couch as he watched her, long black hair cascading down her shoulders as she set out two glasses for wine and uncorked a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon and he couldn't help but trace his greedy eyes over the curves that he now knew all too well.

Her puckered lips were painted with a nude lipstick and her nail polish was a freshly painted jet black, as he continued to study everything about her until she sat down and offered him a "cheers" once they both finally had their wine glasses in hand.

Damon took a sip of his own and licked his lips before his big baby blue eyes met hers. Bonnie still seemed to be having a hard time looking into them directly.

"So that's why you never saw me as more of a friend all of those years, huh? Because I had frosted tips?" he joked.

Bonnie's stare finally met his and she swallowed hard at that as a heavy silence passed between the two, so quiet you could hear a pin drop before she finally offered a response.

"So, we are discussing this… no preamble, no small talk," she said almost to herself and Damon offered a flippant shrug though his heart was racing all the while as he tried to keep a calm and collected demeanor.

Though he felt anything but.

"Why not? I know you don't like to waste time or beat around the bush, Bon-Bon, so give it to me straight… why did you call me today? I know it wasn't for another impromptu booty call... So I am guessing this was to let me down easy; make it clear that what happened will never, ever happen again."

Bonnie noted the humor mixed with slight bitterness in his tone as she watched him take another sip of wine and she wrapped her hands tighter around her own glass to keep them from shaking.

What the _fuck. _

Since when did being around Damon make her so nervous? She'd known this guy when he had baby teeth. And when he didn't have abs.

She took a sip and set the glass down before she cleared her throat.

"I did call you over to clear the air about… what happened," she admitted as he listened on and she dug her manicured toes into the rug. "We were both pretty drunk and things went a bit too far and… I'm sorry for putting you in that position—one where you would betray Enzo's trust," she said and he cocked a brow as she went on. "I know that we've been best friends forever but… he's your friend too. A-And I shouldn't have… come onto you like that. Or at all because Elena is my best friend. I'm sorry," she repeated and Damon scratched his chin before offering a response.

"Bonnie, it wasn't your fault."

"I mean, sure it was, Damon. I'm the one who was engaged. I'm the one who was getting married in less than 24 hours. I'm the one who took an Uber to the boarding house, when I was already drunk from my bachelorette party instead of going to bed like everyone else did, I mean—what did I think would happen? That we'd knit scarves?" She laughed humorlessly and he furrowed his brow. "Let's face it, Damon. Once everyone finds out what I did, I'll be labeled a cheating, lying slut. And rightfully so—"

"I wouldn't let anybody say that about you without having to answer to me," Damon said seriously and Bonnie looked up as the water threatened to fill her eyes but she held it in and listened. "Look—I may not have been engaged to be married but I take responsibility for it too. And _I'm _sorry that I ruined things… And you called all of this off because of me. Because I know how happy you were and you're right— Enzo's my friend so it's hard to face him when I just…" he stopped as Bonnie finally looked directly into his eyes and he felt his stomach twist into knots at what he might say—what he wanted to say—but he stopped himself. "I've thought about you a lot, over the last two weeks," he admitted. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to hear from me; if you'd ever speak to me again—"

"Damon," she said as she reached forward and touched his hand—immediate sparks of electricity running through her fingers—sparks she'd never even felt until that night—and they both remained speechless at the mutual moment; her palm pressed to his skin and her thumb eventually running soft and slow circles up and down his veins as he breathed—_barely—_and Bonnie finally pulled back and looked into his eyes. "You're my best friend, and yeah we screwed up majorly but that doesn't mean I don't want you in my life," she said and he tilted his head. "I just don't what happens next."

Damon placed his glass of wine down and moved in a bit closer—so close actually, they were now just about an arms length away on the sofa and Bonnie sucked in a bout of the air they shared, desperate just to feel something within her lungs.

Because when she was in his proximity, she could barely breathe.

His palm met the side of her cheek and she didn't look away as his thumb drew small circles along her jaw and his eyes studied each inch of her heart-shaped face, before dropping his hand onto her leg.

Her body pulsed as he crawled his fingers along her thigh.

"What do you want to happen next?" He asked simply and Bonnie wasn't sure she was able to say it aloud as she watched Damon's pearly white teeth trapping his bottom lip in an iron grip.

She shook her head and looked down, finally removing herself away from his grasps.

"Damon, we can't. We shouldn't."

"We shouldn't. But we could," he replied and Bonnie didn't answer that. "You're single now, Bonnie. It's not like this is still cheating."

"But it's still wrong," she scoffed, folding her arms over her sweater. "I just dumped Enzo two weeks ago on our wedding day… I officially moved out today. It's too soon and with you, it's… a lot more complicated than me being single, Damon. You've been my best friend, for years—"

"Which means I know you better than anyone Bonnie—more than Caroline and more than Elena. It's always been me. I know you inside and out, pun intended. And the Bonnie I know goes for it when she wants something—"

"But it's never been this, Damon," she answered with gritted teeth as she stood to her feet. "This whole me and you having sex thing has never happened; it's never even been a thought to either of us, ever. So why now? Why the night before my wedding? Why after all of these years of you being in love with Elena do you now suddenly want this?"

"Is that it, Bennett?" He finally stood to his feet as well, instantly towering over her and she only got angrier because she had to look up at him while he was talking. "You think I jumped into bed with you because I just wanted to get laid?"

"You ask that as if you have a stellar track record Damon, of not wanting only that."

"It wasn't like that with you!" he exclaimed and she laughed incredulously as his eyes narrowed. "Have you ever stopped to realize that maybe I had sex with you because you are smart, and beautiful, and sexy, and _fun as hell_ to be around?"

Bonnie took in a deep breath at that and blinked at him furiously, as the words spilled from his mouth and only huffed at that though it made her _everything _tingle at him admitting that he found her sexy.

"You… didn't answer my question about Elena."

"What about her?"

"Did you feel this way about me while you were with her? Did you actually love her?"

"Of course I loved her Bonnie—I was in love with her for a very long time, yes," he acknowledged and she swallowed hard. "But just like you, things change, okay? Elena and I changed—we were just never on the same page anymore and I didn't see a future with her because we weren't compatible… She never did anything wrong, or hurt me, we just… weren't a match. And I know you can relate, because that's how you feel about you and Enzo, isn't?"

"This isn't about me and Enzo right now, Damon—"

"Isn't it, Bonnie?" he asked and she inhaled a sharp breath when he stepped in closer—towering over her effortlessly, as he looked into her olive eyes and searched them for the truth. "You want me to feel guilty about Elena because you feel guilty about Enzo and fine, I feel like a _dick_ because I've known since you got engaged to him when I was with her that I was jealous, okay? I feel like an _asshole _because I saw Enzo today, he stopped by my bar and he was a total wreck—and he's counting on me to 'fix this' between you two and I don't want to do that. I'm _not _going to do that," he revealed and Bonnie's brows lifted as she listened on. "I won't because I know this isn't all in my head. I know that you feel _something _for me too, and maybe that makes you an asshole too, Bonnie, but the difference is, is that I just don't care. I don't care if I'm the bad guy. I don't care if I'm the villain. I don't _fucking care _if I'm some jerk who stole his best friend's girl because at the end of the day I want what I want and I'm not going to apologize about it."

There was a long silence between the two and Bonnie looked down at her feet to try to formulate a response, but she just couldn't as a million thoughts swirled inside of her head though she was struggling to even comprehend the long-winded monologue Damon went on, just now.

The fact that he had feelings for her. The fact that he'd known since she got engaged. The fact that he was face to face with Enzo just this afternoon and didn't tell her until just now.

_The fact that he didn't care who they hurt or how badly, just as long as he got what he wanted in the end._

Bonnie had been standing there so quietly for so long, she was snapped out of her thoughts moments later when she saw Damon no longer in front of her, but now reaching for his leather jacket on the couch and slipping his arms through it as he turned his back towards her, deciding to no longer torture himself with the silence.

As he headed for the door she finally spoke up to stop him, as he turned around and eyed her brazenly.

"Damon, wait."

She walked back up to him slowly, but bravely, as she folded her hands before her and stopped just short of his frame, forcing herself to look him dead in the eyes.

"I'm sorry I accused you of just sleeping with me for the hell of it… That wasn't fair," she said and he licked his teeth before offering a response in a voice so small, she strained to hear it, although he was standing right in front of her.

"Did you sleep with _me_ just for the hell of it? Is that why you thought that?"

She shook her head no.

"No. No to both," she said and she watched as he breathed deep, seemingly in relief before she went on. "I… acknowledge that I may harbor some pent-up _feelings _for you, Damon, consciously or unconsciously—"

"Are you trying to say you have a crush on me?" he asked and Bonnie sneered when she saw the hint of a smile meeting his eyes though it hadn't met the curve of his lips. "Because this is the _wordiest _way I have ever been told by someone that they might like me, and I'm not saying it isn't rad or anything but—"

"Shut up Damon," she spat and this time he smiled, biting his lips. "And for the record, I'm not _saying_ that I have a 'crush' on you, I'm just saying it's… not entirely impossible that I _could_—"

"Uh huh—"

"But I need _time _to figure it out… And figure out what the hell I'm gonna do about Enzo—"

"Yep—"

"Why are you moving in closer?" she suddenly asked and he wordlessly gave her, her answer when his lips easily crashed against hers and Bonnie cursed herself how easily—_how effortlessly—_his mouth formed against hers, as he knelt down just a little bit to meet her and she found herself impulsively on her tippy toes, just the same.

And it was electric—just as it was the first time they kissed—with hands, lips, tongues, _everything _reacting to one another, and the taste of the freshly opened bottle of wine lingering, through the slow and achingly carnal embrace.

They were tripping over boxes and Damon was stepping out of his boots as her back landed against the wall, and he continued to kiss her, like both of their lives depended on it—_as if they would both cease to exist without this erotic heat between them, burning them up, straight from the inside out._

Bonnie was already unbuckling his belt and he was tugging at her shirt, as he easily stripped it over her head and continued to devour her at the mouth while she pulled the leather through the loops and tossed it to the ground, where it landed atop one of her boxes.

Bonnie moaned when both hands met her face and his lips journeyed from her own, down the side of her neck, to in-between her breasts that still remained in her black bra. She stopped him long enough to take his t-shirt off and he didn't miss a beat once it was discarded to the ground and their mouths were in sync, once more.

He easily lifted all 5'2 of her into his arms and walked them into Bonnie's bedroom, as he carefully placed her onto the bed and she pulled him by the wrist on top of her. His pants were gone and so were hers in just a matter of seconds and before she knew it Damon's head was buried between her thighs, as his tongue tested each fold beyond her underwear and she shivered reflexively as he took his time.

She hadn't always been a fan of this part, she remembered, as Bonnie recounted all of the lovers that she'd had over the years—6, to be exact—and she always found some bad excuse for a guy _not _go down on her, simply because she had convinced herself she could never really be into that.

The few times that she had tried, it was bad—with her first boyfriend fumbling around and asking her tons of questions about her vagina, as if she'd been in there before and was capable of doing this herself.

_Bless his heart, Jeremy Gilbert, for at least trying._

She then got weirdly embarrassed about anyone being down _there _by the time she dated the one guy down the hall from her dorm, Jesse, that she refused to even let him go near it, unless it was penetration only.

Fast-forward to Enzo, who may have come the closest to knowing what he was doing, but still no cigar, as he waited for cues that she was enjoying it, and maybe possibly coming, which it just didn't happen because she couldn't get out of her own head, and she settled for foreplay just being a no-go forever, for her.

Caroline nearly flipped out about that when she told her and sent her about 10 different cunnilingus e-Books the next day with homework assignments and pop quizzes.

She didn't have the heart to tell her she was fine with just orgasming 30% of the time at this point because she was in _love. _And sometimes love meant having a less-than-completely fulfilling sex life.

She probably should've demanded more, but who cared? She was happy, usually. And sex just wasn't that big of a deal to her.

Until she discovered sex with Damon.

Because all it took was _one time _for her to feel all of the things she hadn't been feeling—_do all of the things she had been too afraid to do_—and she wasn't sure if it was because of the level of comfort between them, the fact that he was fantastic in bed, or _all of the above_ but Damon had awakened something inside of her that night and truth be told, she'd spent weeks thinking about it, although she chastised herself for still being super fucking horny, while she was supposed to be heartbroken.

While she was supposed to be mourning over the fact that she wasn't on her now canceled honeymoon on some beach in Belize, being served cocktails with the fresh pages of book in hand and Enzo whispering sweet nothings in her ear, she was fantasizing about Damon and planning every which way she could replicate the things he made her feel while she was alone with her vibrator though she knew she was better off with the real thing.

And now, here she was, with the real thing, as her chest puffed up and down, sharp moans escaped her hollow mouth, and her hand gripped his wild black hair as he continued to service her so efficiently, she was quite sure his face should have been soaked, because she felt like she was absolutely dripping.

She had never been a talker, either. She liked sex to be relatively silent, save for an instruction here or there, but with Damon she found herself speaking more, about what she liked—what she _really loved_—and what else she wanted him to do.

And for someone like him—she could admit it, her friend had been a ho in his hay-day—she was sure that he had heard it all before. But the way that he looked at her—the way that he smiled and acknowledged everything she said, as if it were the best and most brilliant idea he'd ever heard, really turned her on.

So much so, it was only about two minutes of Damon's tongue methodically swirling around between her legs before she riding the waves of absolute bliss and euphoria and she let out a laugh—a true, happy throaty laugh, the first time she had really laughed in weeks— and he laughed too, staring at her like she was made of gold.

Damon wiped his mouth with the back of his palm and she bit her lip before finally sitting up, and looking back him too, as be smoothed back he now wild black hair.

She silently moved her back against the bedpost and pulled him in by the hand to meet her—watching in gentle awe as her fingers crawled across his palm and the hairs on his forearm stood on end before he looked into her eyes.

It was truly a conscious moment—in the sea of ecstasy as they took a moment to watch one another—truly see each other—before Damon leaned forward and gently placed his lips to hers; her arms immediately wrapping around his shoulders as they kissed over and over again, in such a hungry but sensual way, it did nothing to decipher what this all meant for Bonnie as she would have been better off believing that this was just sex, though she knew it simply wasn't true.

Friends didn't kiss you like they were hungry—starving—to have the taste of your mouth against theirs, as she tasted herself on Damon's mouth and it only made her want to be closer to him in this moment.

And somehow close still wasn't enough.

She ran her hand down between his legs and felt that he was still hard—rock solid, in fact—and without a word or a second thought she eased her down onto the mattress while he repositioned himself above her; their skin hot with anticipation as he finally unhooked her bra tossed it away, leaving her exposed and waiting for whatever was going to happen next.

She looked up at him, for just a second, and Damon felt mesmerized by her, as the hints of gold in her eyes glimmered beneath the dimmed bedroom lights and her black hair fanned out over the spread of fluffy white pillows, like a raven flitting through fresh winter snow.

He ran his palm slowly, torturously, up her neck and to her mouth where her teeth purposely nipped at his thumb while she looked into his eyes.

He scooped her into his arms and turned her over, so her back was towards him and her ass was on full display, much to desire and dismay as he had to stop himself from burying himself in it—the curves and dimples enough to get him off alone, if he were honest.

He pushed her hips far down against the bed as her feet remained tightly together and he eased his middle and pointer finger inside of her just to feel how hot she was and the answer was boiling, as his hand slicked along her skin and Bonnie whimpered at the torture against her sheets as he worked her for what felt like an hour to her, but it was merely seconds.

"Fuck," he said in admiration beneath his breath at how wet she already was and she smiled with satisfaction as one hand gripped the back of her neck and held her in place tightly as she brimmed with suspense until finally, he decided to put her out of her misery.

She gripped onto the 800-thread count sheets as Damon pushed deeply inside of her and her lips automatically emitted a breathy moan, while her eyes shut and her body ignited immediately at the friction.

He was hitting the _exact _spot that she needed him to, metrically and steadily, and she felt like she was going to burst as her muscles tightened and vision blurred, at the sudden wave of a sensory and nerve overload.

His face was low enough to kiss her shoulder and neck, so he did, while the grips of his hands kept her body to the mattress, continuing the drill into her, slowly working up to a maddening pace.

And still, she wanted more.

"Harder," she demanded and he complied, as he felt soft beads of sweat forming on his brows and he pushed even deeper inside of her than he had been already, while she clawed at her sheets.

His hand smoothed up the back of her neck and into her hair, forming a tight fistful with his grip as he dipped the other one beneath her, rubbing her core in circles as she panted loudly and asked him to keep doing that, as he quickly realized it was driving her insane and she was near her end.

She was all but screaming his name and it wasn't long before she felt herself coming, again and again, as her body shuddered and toes curled, with her words escaping into the mattress and Damon slowing his pumps down though he didn't completely stop. Though he was really, really ready, and it didn't help that Bonnie was pushing her hips backwards against him to assist the process, as just the sound of her skin smacking against his was enough to get him off.

And it did, a moment later.

He collapsed into the pillows beside her, as she rid the bed of the top sheet and pulled the comforter over their naked sticky bodies, and let out a long exhale, while Damon continued reeling.

How the fuck did this even happen again?

There wasn't a word between the two for a minute or so before Bonnie finally cleared her throat and turned to face him, with a certain girlish charm to her, and it was hard to imagine this was the same girl who just said some of the things he heard her say into the pillows.

"You can… stay if you don't have anywhere you need to be," she said delicately and Damon furrowed his brows playfully, his hand stroked her jaw.

"Where would I need to be?"

"I don't know. You're a busy guy, you own a bar… and stuff."

"And stuff," he echoed and Bonnie snorted once she realized how silly it sounded.

A quiet yawn escaped her lips but her eyes remained open, though he could tell she was slowly fading. He inched in a bit closer.

"I don't have anywhere I need to be," he whispered and she smiled plainly, before turning her body to face the opposing window and her frame pressed against his, as she wrapped his arms around her waist and he settled his head against her shoulder.

He softly gave her a kiss at the nape of her neck.

"Good. Because I'm gonna need those world-famous pancakes in the morning."

"Fine."

"And we _cannot_," she yawned, "do this again, without setting some ground rules," she said and he rolled his eyes but complied with a nod.

"Okay. Whatever you say, Bennett."

There was silence after that, and he held her tighter against his own body, and in seconds he heard Bonnie snoring, just as she always did since they were kids, and she tried to deny that it had always been a habit of hers. He remained awake for just a few more minutes, mindlessly playing with her hair before he was finally close to sleep as well, but not before saying the one thing he'd wanted to get off of his chest all night, though he knew this would have all happened differently—_or not at all—_had he said it and ruined everything.

"_I love you,_" he whispered onto her ear and Bonnie continued to snore softly as he let out a deep breath and shut his eyes again.

This time, drifting off, in a warm, comfortable, complicated slumber.

**A/N: So is it starting to make more sense why Bonnie cheated? I'm never an advocate for infidelity so this is absolutely not a defense… but it's clear she was feeling unfulfilled in her relationship to Enzo and it's led her to her finding some sort of weird, confusing, eye opening relationship with Damon that she's never had before. But how long before this friends with benefits situations blows the efffff up and do we think Stefan is privy to what is going on? And will he tell Enzo? This is a fun one to write. Reviews are kind. Thank you all for reading! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Good Things Fall Apart**

**A/N: Thank you all so, so, so much for your continued support for this story. Your reviews make me happy & I'm having a lot of fun writing it. My cheeks hurt from smiling.**

"Keys, phone, bag, laptop… what else am I missing?" Bonnie said aloud but to herself, as she walked through the living room to the foyer in the boarding house, with Damon behind her, holding her coat.

"I think you've got it all for once, thank God… Because if I find another one of your stupid little 90s scrunchies in my room, I—"

"What will you do?" she taunted as he helped her into her jacket and when she spun around to say thank you, his lips collided with hers, in a sweet, balmy, _knee-buckling kiss_, as Bonnie felt herself moan involuntarily against his mouth before finally pulling away with a smile as he buttoned her jacket.

"I'm gonna use them to tie you," he dotted her nose lightly with his pointer "to the bed. Then we'll see who's really a tough guy."

"Go ahead, tie me up—you know that I bite."

"I hope that you do," his brows wiggled, and she laughed at with an eye-roll though her smile was expanding ear-to-ear.

It'd been a month since they were still doing this—_whatever the hell this was—_and Damon had to admit, he'd never been happier than he was now, waking up beside Bonnie every morning, whether it was at her place or his. The curve of her soft body within his hands as he planted lazy kisses along her neck were euphoric, while she chastised him for "breaking the rules again," that she immediately put into place, the morning after he spent the night at her condo for the first time, though if he were honest, they were all such a blur to him anyway the moment he set his eyes on her.

The "rules," which were absurd in his opinion, included no dates, no talking about the future, and positively no more bouquets of red roses or anything else romantic like it. Bonnie also decided that they shouldn't be making any more speeches, as his last one threw her for a loop and until she was ready to explore how she felt, they'd be better off keeping any declarations to a bare minimum. And they especially couldn't be caught flirting in public _at all _unless they wanted this entire thing to blow up Mystic Falls and the surrounding towns in this county. Which, at this point, Damon was totally fine doing, but he understood why she was hesitant and respected her wishes.

He may not have cared about Enzo's feelings at this point because he was happy, but she still did. And though being with Damon was what made her happy too, she couldn't bear the thought of Enzo finding out this way—or at all, yet—so they would have to be extremely careful about how they appeared in front of people if they didn't want the word to get out before she had a time to give him that talk he so rightly deserved.

But until then she and Damon were untitled. No labels, no expectations, and no promises—they were just having fun, playing Mario Kart and eating Pad Thai, like they always did except now there was sex added into the equation. And it was the best time she'd ever had in her life. Her feelings for Damon caught her in a whirlwind.

Life was all pancakes, foreign films, Scrabble and aged bourbon these days and she didn't mind it— in fact she looked forward to seeing his name pop up on her iPhone screen when she was finished at work and it'd been years since she felt the tingly, nervous, scary, _good _sensation that she felt within her bones, which marked the dawning of an infatuation for her.

Bonnie Bennett was absolutely enamored with Damon Salvatore and after close to 30 years of friendship she could finally admit it—to herself, to him, and to Caroline at least—that she had a massive crush on him. And there were no signs of slowing down or stopping anytime soon.

As for Damon, things had changed for him too. He was still the same him, but a little _nicer _and he was having a hard time already not allowing the softness that he exhibited with Bonnie to spill over into other portions of his life. Even Stefan asked him if he was feeling okay when he showed up yesterday to his house unannounced and in a chipper mood—after seeing her, of course—and he'd revealed a shopping bag from a nearby toy store where he had gone on a bit of a shopping spree and got his nephews a bunch of shiny new things for no reason at all.

Stefan knew he loved Billy and Zach, after all, he'd even asked to be named their godfather when Caroline was pregnant. But Damon wasn't ever really the best person with kids—he usually had zero patience after about five minutes—so it was interesting to watch him play with them for _hours_ yesterday before he finally had to head over to the bar, to open.

He told Bonnie about it this morning during pillow talk and she teased him mercilessly at the fact that he could be so sweet when he wanted to be. Especially after reminding him that he was the same jackass who stomped on her sandcastle when she was 5 years old, on family vacation to Myrtle Beach with the Gilbert family.

Damon snapped out of his thoughts when he felt Bonnie grab his hand and rub his palm softly with her thumb. He looked into her electrifying olive eyes as she tried her best to hold back a grin.

Meanwhile, he was full-on smiling. _With _teeth. She was the only one who could make him do that.

"I'll see you tonight, when you're done with work?" she asked, and he nodded affirmatively, "I've been wanting to watch this Polish-French film I read about a few weeks ago, online—"

"Would that film happen to be named _Cold War_? Because I… may have picked it up yesterday, when I was playing Santa Claus. I was hoping you'd watch it with me."

Bonnie's cheeks flushed and she couldn't help but beam because she knew he got it because of her and she snaked her free arm over his shoulder, drawing him in a bit closer to her body in a dizzying way, though if he were honest he was already completely intoxicated by her.

"So, it's _not _a date, right?"

"It's not a date," he answered, and Bonnie smirked before giving him a quick peck on the lips again, spinning around as he grabbed her bag and walked her out to her Toyota Prius.

He opened her door and she rolled her eyes at the chivalrous gesture, before their lips—and tongues—met again, until she was finally in the car and he slammed it shut as the ignition started.

Once she was off he turned around to walk back in, but not before a familiar all black Jeep Wrangler pulled into the driveway and he forged a stiff smile on his lips when the engine stopped and in seconds his brother was out of the vehicle, dressed in a pair of work khakis, black boots, and a maroon Mystic Falls Fire Department t-shirt.

He slammed the door to his Jeep shut after retrieving the two cups in the holder and walked over to meet Damon.

"Morning brother, what brings you here so early?" Damon asked, glancing at his watch and Stefan chuckled as he handed him a coffee and the two walked inside of the house.

"Returning the favor, from your spontaneous visit yesterday. Just here to thank you properly," he motioned at the coffee and Damon smiled at that but didn't respond. "Was that Bonnie I just saw on the road?"

"Sure was," Damon said evenly, as he sat down on the couch and Stefan followed suit. "She was here early, grading papers—something about noisy condo neighbors. So, we had breakfast," he added which wasn't a complete lie.

Except it was her. Bonnie was the noisy condo neighbor, whenever Damon was around. And sometimes they just wanted to have super loud, unapologetic sex without anyone nearby to question it and luckily enough for them he lived in a mansion, alone, on acres upon acres of Salvatore-owned family property.

And they did eat pancakes this morning. He just may have been too busy licking the maple syrup off her skin to put any on his stack.

"Mmm," Stefan offered in response and Damon watched as his brother took a sip of coffee. "She's been around a lot lately for breakfast and grading papers… Does she usually stay the night or…"?

Damon cocked his brow at that as he took a sip from his own cup and gulped some of it down while his brother eagerly awaited a response.

"Now, Stefan—I know it's been a _very_ long time since you were on the dating scene since you locked it down with Care Bear and got her pregnant in 17 minutes flat so you're pretty much a fifty-year old Dad now, but guys and girls can be friends without any funny business going on," _except for he and Bonnie_, "And Bonnie's been staying here for years—even when _you _lived here. You had your _wing_, so you know better than anybody that there's lots of space. Much more than I need. And I like having my best friend around, so it's a win-win."

"Is it? So, I'm guessing with all the fun you and Bonnie have been having playing Scrabble or whatever it is you two do, that's why you've completely forgotten about your _other _best friend, Enzo? The one who you were supposed to help when it came to Bonnie. They still haven't talked Damon. My impression was that you'd be on top of it. Not preventing it."

"Preventing it, how? Brother— you know as well as I do that Bonnie is a very independent woman. And I, of all people, can't make her do anything she's not ready to do. So yeah, I feel bad Enzo's just twiddling his thumbs waiting around for an answer but what am I supposed to say to her? It's not up to me to make her talk to him if she doesn't want to, yet."

And it wasn't. Damon and Bonnie had, had the conversation about what she was going to tell Enzo when the time finally came, and she often volleyed between one harsh truth that included Damon or another harsh truth in which she told him she fell out of love with him, long before she slept with anyone else and she just hadn't let herself admit it yet.

But whatever Bonnie decided wasn't up to him and at the end of the day, the less time she spent mulling over it, the more time they could have enjoying whatever this was, without complications, interruptions and messy ex-fiancé drama.

But it seemed like Stefan Salvatore wasn't ready to accept that.

"You're right—Bonnie has her own free-will and it's not up to anyone Damon," he agreed.

"Thank you."

"But you haven't even _tried_."

"And that's why you're here? Not to thank me for the gifts, but to coach me on how to be a better friend to Enzo at the expense of Bonnie's feelings? And here I thought I was just doing the right thing by her."

"No, Damon, you're not. And I'm here to tell you that I've realized you're perfectly content with being a shitty friend. So, I've taken matters into my _own_ hands and I'm inviting them both to dinner tonight, with Caroline and I," Stefan announced, and Damon's eyes nearly bugged out of his head at his brother's declaration.

"What the hell are you on, Stefan? You can't just make her talk to him if she's not ready to— "

"And you can't stop her from doing it just because you're in love with her."

There was a long silence between them, and Damon ticked his jaw as he placed the paper coffee cup down and he spoke quietly though everything inside of him was raging.

"Come again?"

"Oh, cut the shit, Damon. I know that something is going on with you and Bonnie—at least on your end of it, anyway. I've known since that night at the bar with Enzo," he recalled. "And I don't know what's going on—I don't _wanna know, actually—_but what I do know is that _your friend_, the guy whose wedding you stood in as the _best man_, is hurting and you couldn't give a flying fuck because you got what you wanted, didn't you? You've been in love with her all along, and you're actually happy she called off the wedding because couldn't bear the thought of Bonnie being happy with somebody else—especially not your _best friend._"

Damon's eyes narrowed at that and Stefan's fist tightened around his coffee as a long silence engulfed the living room and the tension between the brother's grew thicker with each second passing.

"I'm not in love with Bonnie or jealous of Enzo. That's ridiculous," he decisively answered, and Stefan remained quiet. "She's my best friend—always has been. I've known her since she was in diapers. We are allowed to spend time together _as friends._"

"And you don't want it to be anything more, now that she's single?"

"No Stefan, I don't—"

"So, prove it—stop standing in the way when it comes to Bonnie and Enzo, because he needs her, Damon. He needs Bonnie in his life, in some capacity and all I see is you trying to put a stop to that the best way that you can... If you cared about her at all, you'd be able to be selfless about this, but you can't. You can't stop putting yourself first for five minutes to see the bigger picture— "

"And what is the bigger picture, Stefan?" Damon asked vehemently, as he now stood to his feet and his brother glanced up at him with wild green eyes that scorched through him like bubbly lava in a freshly erupted volcano. "Please, explain to me what it is that you think that you know about everything. You were always so good at telling everybody else what's best for them," he shot back, and Stefan stood up as well, letting out a deep sigh as he met Damon's bottomless indigo eyes.

Stefan's voice softened at that, but his words remained just as cruel.

"The reality, Damon, is that they were in love once, okay? He still loves her and I'm sure a part of her still loves him, that doesn't just go away. And you're right—I don't know anything when it comes to you and Bonnie, you two have always been off in your own little bubble, even when we were kids… But I know you, Damon. And I know that you fall hard," Stefan eased as his brother stayed quiet and listened on, "And I… don't want to see you get hurt. Because Bonnie's capable of it, okay? What she did to Enzo, leaving him at the altar like that and moving out two weeks later without even a conversation, he deserved better than that… If she could do that to a guy she was getting _married _to, what makes you any different?" he asked honestly, and Damon folded his arms over his chest. "I know you want to protect Bonnie, because yes, she's your best friend and you know her better than anyone but… I know that you're doing it for selfish reasons, too. I know that you have feelings for her, Damon. A part of me now believes you always have. Even when you were with Elena."

Damon didn't say anything at that and Stefan took his silence as confirmation before he grabbed his coffee cup off of the table turned around to head towards the door, keys in hand, and only stopping once his fingers touched to knob to look back at his older brother who had been rendered speechless for one of the first times in his life.

"I'm not going to tell Enzo how you feel about her," Stefan said with creased brows as Damon watched on. "I think that's your job—to be honest with him. But I have to do what's right at this point, and you should too… you should do right by your best friend. The _both _of them… Thanks again for the toys."

And with that, he was out the door.

**XXXXX**

"Dinner? With Enzo? Tonight? Why would I wanna do that?" Bonnie asked as she pressed her cell phone to her ear as Caroline sighed on the other end of the receiver and Bonnie threw her things into her car as she left Whitmore College for the day.

"Stefan has this crazy idea that you two should finally talk it out, so that Enzo can get closure and move on… or you two will see each other, sparks will fly, and you'll fall madly in love, again," Caroline replied, biting her lip. "And I obviously can't tell him _why_ I think this is a supremely bad idea, considering I'm sworn to secrecy about you and Damon. By _you _and Damon."

Bonnie sighed at that as she pinched the bridge of her nose as she started up her car and connected her phone to the blue tooth speaker, before she dropped it on the passenger seat.

"Can't I just say no, I'm busy, and I really don't feel like sitting at a table with my ex-fiancé just yet, considering I still don't know what to say to him? Besides, I had plans with Damon tonight to watch a movie. I was actually looking forward to it."

"Yeah, about Damon… Stefan told me he went to see him today—this morning, after you had just left the boarding house and apparently, they got into it about _you_," Caroline eased as Bonnie's eyes widened. "Stefan, basically more or less, kind of actually accused Damon of having feelings for you, ever since he's been with Elena and Damon didn't exactly do much to ease his suspicions, so... I… think if you don't show up, Stefan will be even _more _suspicious than he already is. He says he won't tell Enzo about Damon having feelings for you but if he thinks you also have feelings and you're _sleeping_ with him— "

"He'll tell Enzo. Cool," Bonnie said, suddenly feeling her heartbeat racing a little as she clutched the wheel and swallowed hard. "Care, I—he shouldn't find out like this. Not on a fake double-date in your dining room, when I haven't even prepared myself what I am going to say—"

"I know, I agree so I think it'd be best if you just show up, tell him what he _wants_ to hear so he can get his closure—_it wasn't him, it was you, blah blah blah_—and we go back to pretending like Damon is not in the picture if you want him to live. At least for another decade," Caroline eased and before Bonnie could respond to that she saw an incoming call pop up on her screen from Damon as she let out a sigh and tucked a strand behind her ear.

"Hey Care, can I call you back? That's Damon right now. I guess I should warn him about the shitstorm that's about to ensue."

"Sure thing. Let me know what you decide, and I'll try to get Stefan off of this goddamn witch hunt as best as I can," she exasperated before hanging up and Bonnie cleared her throat as the call switched to Damon and she tried to remain light and bouncy in her attitude, though she now felt anything but.

"Hey, I was just going to call you, actually," she said, and he immediately interrupted her in a brusque tone, she hadn't been familiar with at all, especially coming from him, these past few weeks.

"I'm gonna be stuck at the bar tonight. Is it okay if we cancel?" he asked, and Bonnie clenched her teeth for a second before answering his question.

"Yeah I… actually can't hang out either. I have this dinner tonight. Stefan invited me… I think I'm finally going to talk to Enzo," she said, and Damon remained quiet at that as Bonnie felt like her throat had filled up with ten golf balls. "You still there?"

"I am."

There was a long pause between the two and Bonnie immediately could sense that he was pissed off, even though he was trying to be a man of a few words right now.

"Damon…" she trailed off, trying to find the words to say though she was unsure what those were as she stared ahead at the open road, still tightly gripping the steering wheel. "I know what Stefan said to you earlier—Caroline told me he accused you of having feelings for me. And I know you're worried about this, but you don't have to be. Enzo and I are over. You know that."

"Do I?" he asked, and Bonnie licked her teeth as she waited for him to talk. "Because maybe I haven't been looking at the bigger picture."

"And that is…?"

"You loved him once, Bonnie… you were with the guy for three years, engaged to be married… And overnight—_in one night, to be exact—_you threw all of that away for me, but what if it isn't real? What happens when you see him again for the first time, in a month? Are you going to leave me, high and dry, too?"

"Is that really what you think of me, Damon? That I'm just some heartless _bitch _who strings people along for fun? Because it was _that _easy to break Enzo's heart, for you? I haven't felt remorse, or pain, or anything, right?"

"Bonnie—"

"Honestly? Fuck you, Damon. I hope you have a great night," she ended the call.

Bonnie's eyes remained ahead, and she bit her tongue to hold back the words that would've escaped her lips too soon if her mouth worked as quickly as her brain.

**XXXXX**

Damon dropped his cell phone on the counter and smoothed his fingers through his hair, as he continued to arrange some glasses behind the bar.

That probably went as horribly as it could go. Because now, not only was he in a shitty mood because he let Stefan's mind-numbing criticism get into his head, but he also couldn't get around the fact that she would be seeing Enzo in a few hours and there was a possibility they could make amends and that stung, like a fresh cut doused in alcohol.

He wanted to believe Bonnie, that things were over, but maybe Stefan was right to imply that they might make their way back to each other after all and he was just the Segway to that. He knew better than anyone that sometimes being over didn't really mean you were over—case and point, his relationship with Elena that spanned over the course of a decade of being on-again, off-again, and back on-again like a toxic tragic cycle neither one of them could breakaway from until he finally dumped her once and for all.

And it wasn't like he was still in love with her by the fourth time they got back together—he knew he wasn't, looking back on how immaturely he acted whenever the two got into a fight about something minuscule—but he had become obsessed with fixing things and making it right even though he would've been better off letting it go—and her go—for good, like he finally worked up the courage to do, the second Bonnie got engaged.

Maybe Bonnie would be like him, he worried. Maybe she would let Enzo back into her life because she liked to see things to the end, like he did. Maybe she would feel like she owed it to him to give him another chance to fix things even though the love was lost and there sometimes was no changing that. Or maybe she just didn't really know what the hell she wanted, and it'd been so hard for her to commit to a real relationship with Damon because he wasn't it. He wasn't The One.

Or maybe he was. And he just needed to give her chance to prove everybody wrong.

**XXXXX**

"How'd everything come out? And you can be honest with me. I haven't made Caponata in forever," Stefan apologized, and Caroline snorted at that as she dug her fork into the classic Italian dish and gave Stefan a pat on the shoulder with her freshly manicured hand.

"Perfect. As always, honey. I can continue telling everyone that my husband is an iron chef," she joked, and Bonnie offered a soft smile at that, nodding in agreement.

"It's delicious Stefan, thank you."

"It's superb, mate. I appreciate it," Enzo added and Stefan smiled at the compliments—a long silence filling the dining room, as the four sat at the long rectangular table quietly, _and awkwardly, _as they had been for the better part of this dinner, though Stefan had hoped it would go otherwise.

Obviously, he and Bonnie were friends—they had been for years, and though they weren't ever the closest in the group the two always gotten along well. Especially when it came to having the same ideas, morals, and principles.

And Enzo— though he'd only known him because of Bonnie, the two had become quick and close friends, as they immediately bonded over a shared interest in motorcycles, to which they even routinely took rides together every week. Sometimes even with Caroline and Bonnie on the backs of their bikes.

The four went on double dates often when Enzo and Bonnie started dating and Stefan was thrilled when he found out they had not only gotten engaged but that they wanted him and Caroline to be a part of the wedding. He'd seen it as a huge honor to be able to witness the beginning of forever between two people he believed were perfect for one another, so it was needless to say he was a bit devastated when that didn't happen. Because the Bonnie and the Enzo that he knew were solid; they were unbreakable. And he was undeniably just as curious as Enzo was to know what—_or who_—had caused this, though he was slowly starting to think he had a good idea after his talk with Damon this morning.

He didn't want to jump to conclusions and assume they were sleeping together—even though that was the easiest thing to imagine, knowing his brother. But he liked to believe he knew Bonnie better than that. And _she_ would at least have some qualms about jumping into bed with Damon of all people—who was _supposed _to be even closer to Enzo than he was, one month after calling off their wedding, right?

He wasn't so sure, as he watched Bonnie drifting often during dinner tonight—only half answering questions and barely participating in conversation, other than with a simple yes or no answer when she could. He knew she was nervous about Enzo being here, it was the first time they'd seen each other since the wedding and it was as _strange _as they all imagined, realizing that these two people were supposed to be married and right now, weren't even talking to each other.

But Stefan had high hopes that tonight would solve things, or least put them to rest, so that Enzo could move on just as Bonnie had seemed to.

"Enzo, how's the museum? Anything new to check out?" Caroline asked brightly to break up the silence and he nodded, swallowing down his food before spoke.

"Yeah, I've gotten a few new pieces over the past month… Purchasing, it's been therapeutic," he forged a smile before turning to face Bonnie who was looking down at her fork, laser focused on her food although she wasn't eating it.

"How's Whitmore?" Enzo asked suddenly and she looked up to see to see that his deep chocolate eyes were locked on her and Bonnie swallowed hard as she searched them for a moment—a mixture of anxiousness and unsteadiness beyond his stare.

"It's fine. I've been fine," she said simply, and he bit his lip at that.

"That's good."

"It is."

Silence. Dreary, uncomfortable, stillness filled the room and Bonnie breathed in a sigh as she stood up from her chair and Caroline wrinkled her forehead though Stefan didn't say a word.

"I'm gonna get some fresh air. I'll be back."

Bonnie exited the kitchen before they could say anything, immediately walking outside onto the front porch and inhaling in the crisp air. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and she looked at the screen for a notification but there was nothing, just like she had expected. She opened a text message to Damon and began typing furiously but before she could press send, the front door opened and she spun around to meet Enzo—his stare delicate but still piercing through her like a knife as he shut the door behind him and Bonnie slid her iPhone back into her pocket.

Her arms folded over her chest as she took in a deep breath and she gripped her fingers tightly around her body to keep herself from shaking.

She still was anyway.

He didn't say anything for a moment—he just gazed at her, as if she were ghost; just a memory, of someone who had been, but he knew no more, and rightfully so. She had become a stranger these past few weeks, through no one's fault but her own and she knew it was hard for him too, seeing her, standing here right in front of him, yet things being so far from where they were. But there was still love on his eyes—she sensed it—as the weight of his look held all that he wanted to say but didn't as he looked at her for just a moment longer before clearing his throat and looking to the ground.

Bonnie decided to break the silence first.

"I just needed a break," she said in a small voice as she sat down on the porch swing in front of the colonial home and stared straight ahead out at the driveway, her feet gently grazing the ground. "It's… been a lot."

"You're telling me," he laughed humorlessly as he sat down beside her and looked straight ahead as well, the sound of the metal chain on the swing creaking softly. "It's painfully hard for me, Bonnie, because all I've had this past month is a picture of you, inside of here," he tapped his head with his finger. "But… the picture, even, doesn't do you justice… You look beautiful tonight, love. You always do."

Bonnie respired at that and Enzo nervously fidgeted with his hands. She glanced down at them and noticed he was wearing his wedding band on his left ring finger. He saw her look down at it and he inhaled with a sad smile and offered a light shrug.

"I guess I'm an optimist," he responded, and she didn't say a word. "Or a fool, but I… don't know how to give up on you, Bonnie."

"You should. I'm not… worth _that,_" she referred to his commitment. "I embarrassed you, Enzo. On your wedding day. You should hate me."

"I would never hate you, Bonnie Bennett," he said softly, and she turned to meet his eyes—to see he was telling the truth. "And I'm not angry with you at all, that's not why I'm here—to tell you off or make you feel badly about what you chose. I'm just… heartbroken… because I love you and you broke my heart."

Bonnie sighed and shook her head as water filled her lids and she offered a fragile smile as her voice spoke in such a small tone, he almost had to lean in to hear it.

"I'm sorry I broke your heart. I didn't mean to. And… I'm sorry I wasted your time."

She watched on as he finally stopped fidgeting with his hands and in an instant, he placed one to her cheek—slowly using his thumb to wipe away her tears and Bonnie's breath hitched at the feeling of his soft skin pressed to hers. She closed her eyes for a moment as she let herself relish in this; his gentleness, as she remembered it quite well, and how many times it had been there for her over the years, when it felt like there wasn't anything in the world that could make her feel any better.

He did—usually with a simple smile, a warm hug, or a touch that felt just like this, along her face when she was at her most desperate and vulnerable to feel something other than pain. He made her feel loved. And it still made her feel like the biggest asshole in the world that she destroyed what they had—_and him in the process_—because it'd taken her several years to realize what she wanted.

_To know that it wasn't him—it never would be. Not so long as Damon Antonio Salvatore walked this very Earth. _

She ripped Enzo apart; tore him up from the seams when she left him, and he was still here. He still wanted to comfort her.

Bonnie shook her head at that and finally reopened her eyes to his; the familiar scent of his woodsy cologne filling her senses and his hypnotic brown eyes coursing over her repeatedly—as if he were afraid she could slip away any moment and leave him once again high and dry without a reason at all.

And he just couldn't have that again. He refused to lose her, once more.

_Little did he know, he already had. _

"I forgive you," he said gently, and she frowned at that, his fingers now crawling to her black hair and brushing it away from her face. "I know that you would never hurt me purposely Bonnie. You were never the type."

"I think… that I might be a worse person than everybody else thinks."

"That's absurd," he answered, and she bit her rosy bottom lip. "You were there for me, Bonnie, when I had no one else. You gave me a happy life with love and friendship that I had barely ever known, being an orphan… You helped me to connect with relatives I never knew existed and meet a new family in your own, that I never could've dreamed would have accepted me the way that they did," he eased and she nodded at that because it was true; Rudy, Abby, and Grams immediately loved and accepted Enzo as the man that she loved and invited him to every single holiday, as a part of their family. They saw him as a part of their future as much as she did. "And your friends…" he continued on and she gulped as one face filled her head, "Caroline, Elena, Stefan, Ric, Marcellus… Damon, especially… they never once made me feel like an outsider because I didn't grow up here with you all. They've always made me feel welcome—like a part of this world. A part of _your world._"

"You are, Enzo. You're not just in my life but all of theirs, too. And that doesn't just go away because you and I aren't together anymore. They still care about you."

"And do you?" He asked softly and her hands trembled as he looked into her eyes again, "Do you still care about me? Because if you don't—if we are truly over, Bonnie—I need a reason. I need you to be honest with me, it's all that I ask at this point… I have nothing else left."

Bonnie's heartbeat raced and she shook her head as she felt the tears coming back, through she was doing her best to try to hold them in.

"Of course, I care about you, Enzo. I always will. But… there are a lot of reasons why I couldn't do this anymore. I-I don't know what to say. I've changed— "

"You have. I can tell that much," he answered, and she tightened her lips. "But what made you change, Bonnie? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"No," she said as her stomach spiked, and he remained on edge. "You didn't do anything to hurt me, Enzo. I'd like you to know that."

"What, then?" he asked firmly, and her cheeks suddenly felt hot as he pressed her. "What changed? Did you fall out of love with me? Were we moving too fast? —"

"I met somebody else," she finally said, and his brows scrunched as Bonnie looked away, wiping a tear from her eye as it rolled down her cheek. "I… met someone. Someone I really liked and I just… I couldn't go through with the wedding because of how I felt... Because of _him_."

Enzo didn't say a word as he looked forward again and Bonnie fought back tears all the while as it finally felt like her entire world collapsed.

_Like she was finally going to lose everything just like she deserved. And it made her feel like shit because she hadn't even told him the half of it. _

"Who… who is he? Have I met him?"

"No," she lied immediately, and Enzo licked his teeth. "I know him from work… He works at Whitmore."

"And were you… involved with him, during any part of our relationship?"

"Not physically, no," she lied again, and he looked to his boots as she frowned and felt the water filling her eyes too quickly for her to stop it or even care at this point. "But we had a connection; we both knew it and… it got harder and harder to fight it until I couldn't anymore… I'm so sorry," she said gently, and he swallowed hard without a response. "I never meant to hurt you. It just all happened so quickly…"

"Are you with him now? Are you seeing each other?" he asked directly, and she shrugged.

"No, I—he isn't my boyfriend— "

"So, _three years_, Bonnie; three years and a home, our wedding, our friends and family, _everything we built_— you're willing to throw that away for a stranger? Because I'm not. I would fight for you! I want to fight for you," he said grabbing her hand and she shook her head.

"You can't, Enzo… You shouldn't— "

"Give me one good reason why I wouldn't, Bonnie. Why wouldn't I fight like _hell_ for the love of my life to come back to me? Why would give up, just like that when I love you so much and you hardly know this man— "

"Because I had sex with him," she shot back and his eyes instantly hardened as his hand dropped hers—pain, fury, and rage multiplying in his stare by the second, all at once. "Enzo, I'm sorry— "

He didn't let her finish as he stood up and walked back inside and Bonnie looked down and closed hers though they were completely engulfed into tears for the next minute or so before the door opened again and Caroline came walking out quickly, immediately wrapping her into a tight hug as her head landed on her shoulder.

Bonnie continued to sob for what felt like an hour straight and then some on the porch.

And Enzo was gone, as quickly as he had arrived.

**XXXXX**

"_I owe you an apology."_

Damon looked up from his bourbon as his younger brother sank into the couch—drink in hand as well, in the boarding house living room later that night, after Stefan had sent him a text and requested to have a talk about what he had said that morning.

Damon was half tempted to tell him not to bother because it was all true; he was being selfish when it came to Bonnie and he was afraid of her talking to Enzo not because he feared the truth would come out but because he was scared to lose her. And he suspected that was exactly what had happened because he didn't hear from Bonnie after dinner and he guessed Stefan was here to tell him they were back together; that things were back to normal and he was just supposed to forget her, like the past month—_the last thirty years of his life—_hadn't happened at all.

"No, you don't, brother," Damon replied, and Stefan clutched his drink as his blue eyes looked up sharply. "You were right this morning; I was out of line when it came to Bonnie. I just… didn't want to lose my best friend, I guess."

"Yeah, well I probably shouldn't have accused you of harboring secret feelings for her and being the one who got in the middle of she and Enzo when she confirmed it was somebody else… it was someone else all along. But you knew that, didn't you? And you didn't say anything, to protect her," Stefan reasoned, and Damon tried to hide the confusion on his face at what Stefan was saying.

Did Bonnie confess or not? He wondered and Stefan's next words confirmed what was said.

"Her co-worker… she told Enzo she fell for a co-worker… and she slept with him, after she and Enzo were done."

Damon's head was spinning at that, and his cheeks immediately warmed though he remained quiet—taking down the rest of his drink in one shot and standing up to head for the bar cart to hide the look of shock on his face that Bonnie had flat out told Enzo she moved on with somebody else but she lied about who, seemingly not only to protect Enzo, but to protect him, as well.

He poured another drink with shaky hands and took a long sip as Stefan still stared off into space, disillusioned.

"This isn't like her, Damon," he said as his brother sat back down beside him, the fireplace crackling in the silence. "Doesn't this whole thing just seem crazy?"

"It is," Damon finally spoke, finger tapping against the glass tumbler. "It's pretty crazy, alright."

"And what, is she just going to start dating this new guy, like nothing happened? I don't think Enzo is going to stop until he finds out who he is. You should've seen him tonight, Damon—I've never seen him so upset. He was on a rampage."

Damon didn't answer that, and Stefan polished off his drink as he stood up and shrugged into his coat, fishing for his keys and giving Damon one last glance.

"Anyway, I just wanted to apologize… I should've known you better than that. I guess it was Bonnie that I didn't know."

Damon watched on as his brother waved him goodbye and left the boarding no more than a few seconds later; his heart still palpitating in his chest as he clutched his glass and downed it to the last drop, contemplating.

He had no idea what the hell to do now. From the sounds of it, it was clear Bonnie had, had a rough night and he wanted to call her, to make sure she was okay and apologize for his words. He regretted being so cold with her earlier, especially now that she had kept her promise and didn't go running back into Enzo's arms the first chance that she had. But they were both still liars, he and her. And Enzo still didn't know the entire truth—_perhaps he never would—_and for the first time since this all began it weighed a bit on Damon's conscious when he finally let himself come to terms with all that had transpired.

Bonnie left Enzo _for him. _Bonnie wasn't going to get back together with Enzo _because of him. _Bonnie had ruined her chance at a perfect life _for him_; her best friend, her confidant, and—dare he believe it—the man she wanted to be with despite how wrong it was, despite how bad the timing could be.

He grabbed his leather jacket and set down his glass, before swiping his keys off the table and heading straight for her condo to figure this out. Once and for all.

**XXXXXX**

"Are you sure you'll be okay by yourself? I called Elena, she said she can stop by after her shift at the hospital if you need her to. And I can ask the nanny the get Billy and Zach in the morning for the day so I can stay with you— "

"I'm fine, Caroline," Bonnie breathed, and the blonde offered a frown as she stood in the doorway of her condo, Bonnie's arms hugging herself around her robe with her hair now in a bun. "I'm just gonna put on a movie or something. Maybe have a glass of wine… I don't want you to feel like you have to babysit me."

"Bonnie you're my best friend," Caroline said, and Bonnie smiled sadly as the blonde pressed both palms to her cheeks. "Your hard times are my hard times. And I'm sorry about tonight, about Stefan. He was out of line for setting this entire dinner up and he will fucking know it after I'm done with him— "

"No, don't fight over me," Bonnie shook her head and looked down. "He wasn't wrong, he just wanted to do right by his friend. Just like you've been doing—having my side in this entire thing even though I'm wrong… I'm so unbelievably fucking awful."

"Bonnie…"

"I am, Caroline—no need to sugarcoat it. I…cheated on Enzo, point blank. And I'm so much of a coward, I couldn't even be honest about it, I—gave him some warped version of the truth, just to appease him— "

"To protect his heart, Bonnie… You lied to him because you didn't want to hurt him with the truth. That happens sometimes. Sometimes we lie to the people that we love to help them move on… To be able to move on ourselves."

Bonnie inhaled at that and Caroline tucked a flyaway behind her ear as they remained in silence for a moment before Bonnie spoke again and looked down at her feet.

"It was to protect Damon too," she admitted, swallowing hard as Caroline listened on. "He… didn't deserve to be thrown under the bus like that without a chance to defend himself and I know how much Enzo loves him. He would hate him forever if he found out that it was him, that I… fell for him."

Caroline nodded and exhaled at that, tucking her hands in the pocket of her coat.

"Well, here's to hoping eighty years passes by before he finds out. It's just… probably not the right time for you or Damon to go public. It won't be for a while."

"Will it ever be?" Bonnie asked suddenly and Caroline ticked her jaw at the rhetorical question, not offering an answer. "I mean, I feel like I've been living in an imaginary world for the past month where Damon and I could maybe have a shot at this—_at being normal, one day_—but what if we can't? Enzo was devastated, Caroline; and that was at a lie. I just… maybe Damon and I can never actually be together, no matter how much time passes. Maybe it will never be right."

Caroline was about to respond to that and they both looked down the steps to see a familiar set of blue eyes approaching, as he stopped instantly and Bonnie's heart skipped when he looked at her; his stare penetrating her deep down to the soul.

Caroline took that as her cue, as she leaned forward to give her a long hug. She pulled away and spoke into Bonnie's ear softly, her final parting words.

"_Love is fucked up, sometimes."_

Caroline walked away, and stopped only to give Damon a brief kiss on the cheek before disappearing down the steps and he stuffed his hands in his pockets as his eyes continued to wash over her and she felt her heart beating in throat the longer he just looked at her.

Damon slowly, cautiously approached, and Bonnie stiffened up when he finally made it to the door, standing several feet above her as she looked up and drowned almost immediately within his eyes.

He was drowning as well.

"Can I come in?"

"I… don't know if that's a good idea."

"Let's sit in the car then," he suggested, without skipping a beat and she swallowed hard. "If you can't trust us to be alone, in your apartment because you think you know what'll happen."

Every single bone in her body screamed that this was a bad idea—quite possibly the worst one he'd had in a long time.

But she agreed anyway.

She excused herself to go get changed and when she came back out, clothed in a tee-shirt and jeans with her pea coat over it, she followed him to his Chevy Camaro, hands still shaking, when he opened the door for her and allowed her to get in before making it to his side and hopping in the driver's seat.

She recognized the song playing on the radio when her turned on the ignition—it was from a playlist she'd made him a few years ago and she remained eyes forward as he gripped the wheel tightly and didn't say a thing, allowing the music to speak for whatever was between them.

And at this point? Neither of them was sure.

She had no clue what the hell she was doing anymore but she hoped he did.

She prayed he did.

He finally turned the volume down and turned to face her; his eyes pensive before he decided to open his mouth to speak.

She listened without looking at him.

"I'm sorry," he said simply as Bonnie continued to stare ahead, digesting his words. "I'm sorry about what I said, and you had every right to get mad me. I'm sorry about what you went through today. I know it was hard and… I shouldn't have been so short with you this afternoon. I was just thinking about how I felt and not considering what you were about to do… what you had to do."

Bonnie pressed her lips shut at that and nodded, still not meeting his eyes, and remaining focused ahead.

"Yeah, it sucked," she said shortly. "I told him a lie—one I'm sure will come back and bite me in the ass someday—and he took it as horribly as I imagined, so… yeah. It really sucked."

Damon reached for her hand and Bonnie automatically pulled it away garnering a desolate look from his face and she shook her head no, turning back to face ahead.

"Bonnie, I know it's upsetting—hurting Enzo like that—but you had to rip the bandaid eventually. It sucks about the timing— "

"Our timing, Damon—_our _timing is what's shit. It wasn't him who did anything wrong, it was us; falling into this so easily as if there wasn't so much at stake. As if I wouldn't break his heart."

"He doesn't know anything about us, Bonnie—because you didn't tell him. I know that you didn't tell him because you wanted to protect him. But I know it was to protect me, too. You wanted to protect what we have—"

"For stupid, selfish reasons that don't seem to make any sense to me anymore," she said, and his heart suddenly felt hollow as she looked up and met his eyes. "Damon, we _can't _do this anymore, in any capacity, without someone getting hurt. Me and you together—it hurts people."

"And what, we're just supposed to continue living our lives for everybody else? Forgetting about you or me or what _we _want because it hurts people?" he asked, and she sighed, without an answer. "Because I know what I want, Bonnie, and it's you. It always has been."

"Damon, stop— "

"The first time that I knew that I liked you—_that I wanted you—_was at your senior prom." Bonnie blinked back tears because she remembered that night, but his tone told her he was going to tell her about it anyway. "You called me from the dance in the bathroom stall, hysterically crying, because your date stood you up," he said, and she only breathed in response before he continued. "I was already in college, away at Whitmore, and I got a suit and drove an hour back to Mystic Falls just to see you—to be your date to that dance."

Bonnie wiped the tear that rolled down her cheek at that because it was true; Damon saved her the embarrassment of having to be at her senior prom all alone when he showed up, dressed in a black tux with neatly styled hair and a red rose in his hand, as he extended his hand to hers and wiped away the smudged mascara that stained her rosy cheeks.

And truth be told, she had much more fun with him that night than she could have ever imagined, as they danced on the gym floor all night and she laughed at his ridiculous moves that garnered the cheers and attention of everyone there, because he just wanted to make her smile. And she did, from ear to ear, when they left the prom after Caroline was announced Queen—rightfully so—and they headed to the grill in their fancy clothes for milkshakes and burgers to recollect the night.

Her father Rudy allowed Damon to spend the night—on the couch of course—and she brought out her sleeping blanket to stay in the living room with him, though they didn't sleep at all, staying up until the wee hours of the morning playing board games and trying to hide their laughter, as not to wake the rest of her family up.

Bonnie trembled.

She had no idea that was the night that changed things for him, and she wished he had told her, as she spent so many more years kissing frogs when she had a prince right in front of her. Damon Salvatore had been the man for her, all along.

"I should've told you then how I felt," he echoed her thoughts with a sigh. "Because I just couldn't understand how some guy—some teenage _prick_—could do that to you because you were perfect, Bonnie. And so beautiful. You looked… so incredible that night. Even with your mascara running down your cheeks… And

I wanted to fight anybody who hurt you. I still would. I always will."

Bonnie breathed deeply at that as she looked over into his eyes and she exhaled shakily when his thumb wiped away her tears—this time not shying away when he touched her, his eyes filling with water on his own though he held it in.

"I never understood it, when everyone would joke around before that, that you and I were 'destined;'" he continued and she watched as he licked his lips, distant in his thoughts. "All the guys that I knew said that we liked hanging out with each other way too much to just be friends—they didn't believe it that I—Damon Salvatore—could actually have a friend who was a girl who was… smart, nice, funny… _gorgeous_—and not be attracted to her... And I hated that. I hated that they all thought I was so nice to you because I had an ulterior motive. It was why I fought against it for so long and I tried to be happy with Elena… dating her was nice; it distracted me. And if I was dating her, I wouldn't make a move on her best friend, right?" he talked to himself and Bonnie watched as he swallowed hard, staring down at his hand that departed from her jaw. "So, I did my best, Bonnie, for _years_ to make it about anything but that with you but I finally failed the night before your wedding when I saw you—and I knew then just like I know now' It's always been you. It will always be _you."_

She was full-on bawling by this point.

So much so, she couldn't take being in this car—_or being in her own skin_—as she opened the door to let herself out. She stepped out onto the driveway and slammed the door behind her breathing—_hyperventilating, actually—_as Damon shut off the car and climbed out as well; walking around the vehicle to meet her—his stare thick with every emotion he wore on his sleeve as she turned away from him immediately as he stood behind her patiently.

A full minute felt like an eternity before his hand met her shoulder.

"Bonnie, please look at me."

She shivered at the touch but allowed her body to turn around and look at him, though it physically _hurt_ to see him because he was _everything. _

Every hurricane, every battle, every ounce of happiness she was fighting against inside of herself and she just couldn't bear to lose him, though she knew it was for the best. Closing the chapter of Damon Salvatore would be the best thing she could do for herself and him as well.

There was never going to be a right time.

Losing him would be for the better. Because this was wrong. It was _fucked_. It was so unbelievably—

_Magical, as she pulled him in by the wrist and her lips crashed against his with such force, he was almost knocked off of his feet when her back pressed against the car and body against hers—instantly lapping up her matchless heat, her irrefutable desire, her binding _love, _when her hands pressed tightly to his jaw like a vice, unable to let him go for fear that she would fall to a million pieces. _

She was in pieces with him. She was even worse without him. And God, she had spent 29 years of her life without knowing what this felt like; what it actually was like not being able to break a bad habit, in the form of a blue eyed devil, who may not have been much of a devil at all.

No, he was more like an angel. A wingless angel. But an angel, nonetheless.

Her lips parted from his and she looked at him quietly—she was astonished in fact—and Damon's eyes remained on her in a glittering haze before he leaned in and kissed her again. And again. And again, until he could barely remember his own name, but he could describe the way she tasted, right down to every single taste bud on her fevered tongue, as he swallowed her down and bit his lip just to get enough air to swim back up.

"Let's go inside," she said onto his now swollen mouth and he nodded dumbly at that, as she took his hand into hers, fingers intertwined, and he followed her to her door; lips against her neck and jawline as she fished for her keys in her pocket and pushed them into the lock, while Damon's hands roamed slowly down her hips.

His mouth caught her in another ravenous kiss as they stumbled through the door and shut it quickly behind them—coats, clothes, and reservations lost in the mix, as they barely made it out of Bonnie's living room before he was already inside of her, turning her world upside down.

She gripped his hair roughly when he slammed her onto her back and Damon's mouth remained buried against her neck, as his canine teeth grazed her jugular, biting down tightly when he made it to the carotid artery.

That would definitely leave a bruise. As would her nails dragging down his back and drawing blood where she scratched, though Damon just kept railing into her, as he didn't mind at all. He ached with fever and passion and he didn't care what Bonnie did to him—_so long as she was his_—as they rolled in her sheets and he landed on his back this time, with her on top of him, pressing his hands down against the bed and grinding her hips fervently against him. He tightly gripped her waist, her ass, _and anything else he could_ while she rode out her orgasm and she didn't stop at one because she wanted more.

She wanted him. She _needed _him. And found solace in that. He'd found his religion inside of his lover.

_And all the while, outside, Elena sat in her Ford Escape, across the street, perplexed by what she had just seen; Damon and Bonnie making out against his car for five minutes straight, so immersed in another, they hadn't even seen or heard her pull up when she did. But she knew one thing for certain—she now had a million questions along with a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream for Bonnie, completely melted, as she still held it in her hands._

**A/N: So this chapter was a roller coaster ride of emotions and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I loved writing it. Thoughts on what Elena will do with this newfound information? Is Enzo any closer to finding out Damon and Bonnie's betrayal? Did y'all like the Segway from sweet high school memories to hardcore BDSM-type sex? I mean, get you a OTP who can do both, LOLOL. Read, review, comment, whatever you like. Thank you all for your continued support! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Look What You Made Me Do**

Bonnie shut her eyes as she felt Damon's index finger drawing slow, lazy circles along her naked back, as they lay in bed that night. She placed her hands to his bare chest and listened to his breathing change when her palms landed against his skin—a brimming fire slowly building beyond the surface as he inched into her closer and his lips met her temple. His kiss was soft, and she instantly felt like warm butter, quickly disintegrating beneath his touch the longer they just laid here, sharing this unspoken connection.

He had no idea what she was going to say after this—after his confession of falling for her when he was just 18 years old and now here he was, 12 years later, in all his spinelessness, begging her to feel the same.

He knew he waited too long. Because this entire thing could've been avoided—she could've been his years ago if he'd just opened his fucking mouth and didn't wait until the night before she was set to walk down the aisle to marry his best friend.

He fucked up kissing her that night. He knew that much. And though he had no idea what Bonnie Bennett was going to say now, as she remained tangled with his limbs, sheets wrapped around her naked body—_the one he kissed, touched, treasured, and did awe-inspiring things to just moments before—_ he knew he was scared shitless. He knew that this could officially be the end, despite how good it felt because Bonnie was a good person. And he knew it was only a matter of time before her guilt began to chip away at her armor, despite how strong she wanted to be.

This was _twelve years _in the making; over an entire decade of him wanting her—_pining for her—_whilst she didn't even fucking know it. She'd literally had no clue.

It was twelve years of him pretending he was happy for her when she met someone new; giving her sound relationship advice and trying his best to be friends with any guy she was interested in just because he wanted her to be happy. He had never given her a clue, not even an inkling, that he felt this way about her—_like he couldn't breathe unless she was near—_and it shocked her that she hadn't realized it herself, but then again, how could she?

He was her best friend. He was the guy she called in the middle of the night when she couldn't sleep and he'd talk with her on the phone about anything and nothing at all, until they were both snoring into the receiver. He was the guy who came by her dorm when she started college with her favorite coffee or cold pizza to help her study for Astrophysics because he took it his freshman year and aced with flying colors, despite always ditching class. He was the guy who taught her to drive stick shift on his Chevy Camaro—the car he wouldn't even let Stefan touch—and he still somehow didn't completely hate her when she accelerated on the gas a little too hard and hit a tree, destroying his bumper.

Damon had been there for everything in her life; her first boyfriend, her first heartbreak, her sweet sixteen, her senior prom. He was there for all her achievements as well as anytime things got a little bit scary.

Like the one time in her freshman year, when some guys from a neighboring rival college, Greenlawn University, crashed a party at Whitmore's top frat house during homecoming weekend, and Bonnie found herself in a terrifying situation with a senior who went there, named Ben McKittrick. He dropped something into her beer and the second Bonnie went to the bathroom, Damon happened to overhear the scumbag bragging about it to his buddies what he was going to do to her, the second the roofie kicked in.

Needless to say, none of that happened.

Damon broke that guy's jaw and proceeded to go find Bonnie, who was dizzy and borderline unconscious within minutes and carried her back to her dorm in his arms, where slept on the couch and he kept a watchful eye over her the entire night and following morning.

She still never found a way to thank him for that.

Damon told her it was unnecessary, as he reminded her that she was the first friend he called when his mom got moved to hospice and Bonnie immediately asked her mom to bring her to the hospital so she could be there with Damon.

At 8 years old, she stayed up with him all night, just talking, to distract him from it all but it was too late. And his mother died the very next day.

They had seen each other at their darkest moments, handled each other's grief, and helped one another get back up again.

Bonnie opened her eyes and his were staring straight back at her as she felt his fingers slowly stop; his hands planted on her naked waist and he drew her in closer, until they were nose to nose and he inhaled a deep breath when Bonnie was suddenly on top of him, chest pressed to his. Their lips met again in a gentle but searing kiss that rattled him down his core, as one of his hands slowly dragged up the side of her body and made it to her black hair, that had fallen all over him despite how many times he pushed it out of the way.

He could barely be bothered with it, anyway. Not when he had the feeling of her smooth legs entangled with his, and her curvy hips grinding on top of him, as they continued to make out for the next few minutes—or hours, he wasn't sure, because with Bonnie he was constantly losing track of time.

She felt the same with him.

It scared her—_surprised her, too_—that this had been the one thing she never planned on with Damon Salvatore. She didn't plan on having sex with him the night before she was supposed to get married to someone else. She didn't count on having all of these weird, confusing, comforting feelings when she realized he really did like her, and it hadn't been just a one night stand to him, despite how easily she knew Damon could separate feelings from sex when he didn't actually care. She watched him do it for years, every time he and Elena broke up.

And she certainly didn't think that she would be here, again, after all that had happened tonight with Enzo, in the aftermath of yet another loss of self-control with Damon, as he pinned her down to her bed and made love to her so madly, it felt like they were escaping something apocalyptic.

He fucked her like the world—_his world—_was ending.

She remembered the pure carnal desire she experienced just an hour ago when his teeth drove into her neck and her nails dug into his back, leaving deep red scratches down his porcelain skin as he groaned with pleasure which excited her even more. His kiss was _deadly, _yet she couldn't get enough of it, when his grip pierced into her hips so tightly, he left bruises and she bucked on top of him so roughly, it would have torn a more fragile man in half.

But he was far from it.

His eyes begged for more—as did his mouth—and she complied, as she sucked down his tongue when it danced with hers and her teeth bit his bottom lip so hard, it drew blood. The warm coppery taste sat on his puffy mouth as he tried to lick it away but she was there first, swallowing him whole and Damon used that as his opportunity to grab a fistful of her raven hair to draw her in even closer, because he couldn't get enough of her.

_He just couldn't control how much he wanted her. _

Her soft breasts bounced in front of him as he gripped them firmly and twisted at her nipples; eliciting a sharp moan coupled with a grin on her lips when he finally flicked them with his tongue. Her tone legs were wrapped around him, as her hand tightly gripped him at the throat—almost choking him—while his hands were anywhere and everywhere inside of her. He savored the feeling of her heat against him as she got off one—_or five—_ more times and he got even harder knowing that he had given exactly her what she wanted even though she was too shy to ask.

_Rough, filthy, passionate sex. _

The kind that gave into your animalistic urges, awakened your senses, and made your toes curl and cheeks flush just thinking about it.

Bonnie had been so used to being labeled a conservative girl. She went to church with her family on Sunday's growing up, she never wore skirts that were too short or clothes that were too tight, and she hardly ever swore because she was taught it wasn't _lady-like _to have a nasty tongue.

But with Damon, he'd opened up this portal to another side of her; the side that found pain and pleasure in how fucked up this all was—_how horrible it made them both, that they could even think to enjoy what was happening, though it would completely tear Enzo and Elena apart. _

Being with Damon roused a deep, merciless, and unapologetic fire inside of her, as she bared her bones and her entire soul to him each night; completely unafraid of judgment, disapproval, or criticism for just wanting to be as crazy and as free as he made her feel.

_Because while__Damon adored her, but he also left her wild. _

She pinned his hands to the bed and glanced at his bruised wrists—the ones that were still red from his own belt being used to bound them together—and she brought them to her lips and slowly kissed them. He watched as her mouth formed softly against his skin and eventually began to make their way down his body—crossing his neck, chest, and abdomen as Damon exhaled and shut his eyes when he felt Bonnie eventually decide to take him into her mouth.

He placed an encouraging hand on the back of her head as it bobbed up and down; her mouth slowly forming a cyclone around him and he bit his lip in pleasure at the harder he got and the more of him she decided to take down into her throat. She was only using one hand and her tongue but that was enough, as it was only a few minutes or so later when he felt himself erupt into her mouth and Bonnie swallowed it down easily; the tremors still coursing through his body as she licked up every drop and moved to collapse onto her back in the pillows beside him but he stopped her.

Bonnie gave him a curious glance as he motioned for her to come here with his finger and she gasped when she felt Damon's strong arms pull her up until her body was on top of his. He sucked on his index and without hesitation dipped deep into her—a soft but satisfied moan escaping her lips as he looked directly into her eyes while he slid it inside of her and out for a minute or so.

Bonnie ticked her jaw when his free hand met her face and pinched her chin. She was already warm and sopping after just _one _finger and he was majorly aroused by that.

Why not continue to up the ante?

"More?" he asked simply, and she quickly nodded as he added his middle finger.

She held onto him tighter, bruising his shoulders as he worked. He slid his pointer and middle in and out swiftly until he felt her open a little more around him and he suggested another finger as she nodded eagerly and complied. He worked his way up to four with her consent, inching his palm deeper inside of her the wetter she got as his thumb remained out, rubbing her fold.

She began sucking on his neck—mostly just to muffle the screams escaping her lips—until finally he couldn't resist tasting her.

He removed his hand and inched his frame beneath hers until his mouth was in between her legs and Bonnie immediately grabbed the headboard for support. He licked her long, steady, and _torturously_, while she closed her eyes and muttered expletives beneath her breath, Damon continuing to go to work like his life depended on it.

In some way it did, he decided.

Because he wasn't happy until Bonnie was happy. None of this was good enough until she said it was.

And by the sounds she was emitting—the husky breaths, the airy but steady moans—he assumed he finally was. He had always been good enough for her, and he was a fool for doubting that for twelve years; for ignoring the way she made his heart beat and hands sweat like nobody else could, just by flashing him a simple smile or an even serious glare.

He continued to devour her, as Bonnie's slickness stained his face and he felt victorious when she finally trembled in a way that had grown all too familiar to him this past month.

"_Jesus, Damon," _was all he heard her say as he buried his tongue even deeper inside of her and she seemed to be gushing into his mouth as he lapped her up, holding tightly onto her waist as he forced her to ride it out completely out until there was nothing left.

He continued for a moment longer until she was giggling—full blown laughing, actually—because she told him it tickled but he didn't stop, as she had to all but rip her body off his mouth. Damon instantly rolled on top of her to continue—but this time with his hands as Bonnie smiled and shrieked when he scratched his fingers at any sensitive part of her body and he did his best to shield himself from Bonnie, who was now doing the same and attempting to tickle him to death.

This continued on for about ten minutes until they both tired themselves out; Bonnie slowly slipping back into his embrace as he hugged his arms around her tightly and she breathed as she felt his mouth against her ear while they laid there together again, this time in comfortable silence before she spoke up.

"I think I need to tell Enzo and Elena the truth," she said, and he didn't respond as his grip remained around her, so she cleared her throat and continued. "I know you think that's a terrible idea and it's going to be really, _really _bad for a while, because they'll hate us both. Everyone will but—"

"Will you still want this, even if they do?" He asked simply and she turned around to face him—his eyes were deep and serious with the question and Bonnie couldn't say that she blamed him for even asking.

She hadn't been the most vocal about what her feelings for him meant; she'd mostly only expressed herself through actions and though touching her thrilled him a lot, he wanted to _hear her_ say the words he needed to hear so he could finally stop doubting that this was real—_that it was all happening—_and no matter what happened next she would still want this. She would still want him, despite how heavy, or bad the consequences were.

"Damon…"

"It's a simple yes or a no," he responded, and she swallowed hard. "When your best friend and ex-fiancé hate you—when they tell everyone about what we did and expose us as the villains that we are, will you still want this? Because you know what I want. I know what I want. And it's you. Every single version, every single chapter, whether it's wrong or right. I'm not turning back now, Bonnie; not ever. But I can only do that if you're in, too. If you… feel the same way," Damon added and Bonnie felt her body drawn in a little closer by his hand, as his eyes remained hungry for an answer and she struggled to give him one. "If you're not into this for the long haul, let me know now. At least let me down easy."

Was she ready to be hated by one of her best friends and the former love of her life, for the rest of her life, just to be with Damon? This moody, broody, sarcastic asshole who also proved to be protecting and warm and _kind_, despite what everyone thought they knew him to be?

She had never considered a future with Damon. She hadn't even considered the present with Damon. Yet here she was, ready to ask herself if she was in fact ready for all the things he predicted because to him it didn't matter either way. Whether he had to love her in public or in secret he was going to, either way. Now it was just up to Bonnie to decide how much of this she was willing to commit to. Because up until now, the thrill of it was what excited her—what made her yearn for him so badly when she knew that she shouldn't; when she knew she was better off telling him to go home, get lost, and never come back here to see her again.

But perhaps there was something more.

Like the way every hair on her body stood on head and her heart stopped, anytime he looked at her. Or the way he made her skin shudder when he spoke softly into her ear, just before kissing her neck and driving her absolutely wild with the warm touch of his commanding hands.

She formally believed Enzo was the most romantic man she had ever been with and maybe that was still true—he had done an incredible job of giving her high expectations and she would forever be grateful for that because she knew her worth, despite her shortcomings lately, and she knew she deserved to be with someone who showered her in affection and couldn't get enough of her, just as much as she couldn't get enough of him.

But maybe that was Damon, she realized. Because for every expectation Enzo has taught her, Damon was slowly surpassing them and bringing her to all new heights every single day. Because while Enzo was the human equivalent of fine dining—a fucking five course meal at the most beautiful restaurant you could've imagined—Damon was the type of food that warmed her soul. Rich, filling, and healing, in a mental, spiritual, and physical sense.

She knew exactly what she wanted from him. She just hadn't let herself admit it, all this time.

"Yes," she finally answered, and his heart stopped when he looked up to see Bonnie's emerald like eyes staring back into his—he needed to make sure he heard her correctly. "I… will still want this—_and you_—when all is said and done. But we need to do it the _right_ way. And that includes being honest. Even if it blows up in both of our faces."

Damon nodded at that and Bonnie exhaled softly as his fingers crawled across her cheek and she watched a soft smile form on his lips. She couldn't help but smile as well at that, because she had made him happy. And the feeling of uneasiness immediately disappeared within his stomach because this was it; the start of their journey, and once this final obstacle was out of the way, no one could stop them.

He would fight like hell to keep her, even if it made him a pariah, because to him, Bonnie was worth it. She was his goddess; his Aphrodite, and after twelve years of feeling this way for her he knew he couldn't go back and not feel it. Not after he'd had her in every way imaginable—_and then some_—and there was still more to explore between them; like a real first date, once they didn't have to hide anymore and he was excited for that.

He was excited _to be excited _about life again. Bonnie Bennett brought him back to life.

And to him, there was no replaceable feeling.

XXXXX

"So, you're dating Damon Salvatore, is that what I'm hearing?" Caroline asked as Bonnie scoffed, pouring them both a glass of sangria as they sat in her living room a week later decorating Bonnie's Christmas tree on a Saturday night in.

"I'm not _dating _Damon. I mean, we haven't actually _been _on a date, yet, but… we want to try?" Bonnie guessed and Caroline bit back a smile as she heard the nervousness in Bonnie's tone. "I don't know, it's all still a blur and I'm trying to figure it out."

"Yeah, it's a _blur _because of all the freaky little sex you two have been having, he's got your mind in a fog," Caroline teased and Bonnie shook her head although a grin formed on her face and Caroline shot up with an accusatory finger. "You're blushing. Oh my God, Bonnie Sheila Bennett. You're as red as a tomato."

"It… is not _that _freaky…"

"You are all but five minutes away from building a sex dungeon and changing your names to Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele… Have you had the talk yet? About who's the dom and who's the submissive?"

"_No one _is the 'dom' or submissive… We are both equal."

"Did you tell him that when he was borderline fisting you— "

"Why did I even tell you anything?" Bonnie asked, as she pressed a hand to her warm cheek and felt that she was indeed on fire as Caroline continued to grill. "I knew you'd rub this in my face."

"Because I'm your best friend and I've waited _years _for this, Bonnie!"

"You've waited years for me to get fisted? Odd but okay."

"I've waited _years _for you to step out of your comfort zone," Caroline responded, and Bonnie inhaled. "I mean, sure. I didn't know it'd be _Damon _that could get you out of it, but it totally makes sense. You feel comfortable with him, because you know each other so well and in return… you're having mind-blowing sex. You're… fulfilled."

Bonnie licked her teeth at that because she knew it was true. She hadn't been afraid to experiment in bed with Damon because of how much history they had between them. They often would just talk for _hours_, as they laid in bed and while on the subject of sexual limitations, she realized she was a lot more open to certain things than she previously thought, when he asked her openly and candidly about it.

She and Enzo had never once talked about this.

She wasn't sure if it just wasn't his thing or he assumed it wasn't hers, but for the most part they kept sex pretty _vanilla_ and straight forward. There were about three positions that they favorited and that was pretty much it as far as the experimentation went. That didn't mean the sex was bad, by any means. She enjoyed sleeping with Enzo and appreciated the time and effort he took with her, making sure she was happy and felt loved.

But that was nothing like _this_ and she knew it.

Because with Damon, he had nearly tried everything—_or wanted to_—and though it was a bit intimidating at first realizing he was so much more sexually experienced than she was, despite the fact that there was a year age difference between them, he didn't make her feel inadequate because she hadn't yet done something before.

He simply suggested she try it with him, if she were comfortable enough to do so.

They talked about everything from foreplay to safe words—_and had established a few just in case_—and before she knew it, he had taken her into a sexual whirlwind that not only broadened her horizons but awakened her senses to an array of things she thought were myths and never truly knew existed.

_And truth be told, she didn't even know her body could bend in some of the ways Damon bent her. _

"I'm… happy," she admitted, before reaching forward for her glass and an olive from the tray of apps on the coffee table. "But it's not as easy as that…Damon and I still have ways to go."

"Indeed… I'm assuming you two had the talk about what you're going to do about Enzo and Elena?"

"We did," Bonnie eased, her face suddenly serious as Caroline listened on. "It's kind of why I invited you over tonight… I thought it'd be smart to have backup when I finally tell Elena what has going on with Damon and me. I… have a feeling she's not going to take it well. I know she says that she's moved on from Damon and their relationship is behind her but… they were on and off for almost a decade of our lives, Caroline. Him and her—that's how it's always been… it's how we thought it always would be."

Caroline scrunched her brows at that, and Bonnie looked down at the rug, glass clutched tightly in her hand before her friend spoke up and eased the silence.

"Do you think he still loves her?"

"I do, in his own way," she nodded looking down. "I mean, they've known each other all of their lives too and as much as I would like to pretend that Damon's a virgin and everything, we've done is brand spanking new to him I have to remind myself that— "

"Elena was there first," Caroline completed her thought and Bonnie glanced up. "Bonnie, you know there's nothing wrong with knowing that, right? Being someone's first love doesn't ensure you'll be their only one. Or last one. And I mean, she's gonna be pissed for sure, at least for a little while but… she and Damon didn't work out for a reason. That doesn't mean that neither one of them shouldn't ever move on with their lives and find happiness with someone else."

"I think she wants him to be happy, definitely… But she probably won't want him to be happy with _me,_" Bonnie chewed her lip and looked up. "He was her first love, Caroline. Probably the only guy she's ever really loved and it's going to break her heart. I guess I'm just dreading coming clean to her about all of this… You know, we've never, ever fought about a guy before."

"And no one's gonna start now," Caroline said confidently as Bonnie breathed. "I'm going to make sure this is civil, as best as I can. No name-calling, no hair-pulling, no fighting. Just a simple, honest, and open discussion. You're both my best friends and I'm not going to let you two tear each other apart. Especially not over Damon," Bonnie nodded at that and Caroline looked at her watch before looking back up. "Do you know what time she's coming?"

"She said she was on her way," Bonnie replied, inhaling a deep breath. "I'm really nervous, Caroline."

"Consider this a baby step… Elena, for as bad as she may take it, will _not _take it any worse than Enzo," Caroline replied, and Bonnie nodded at that inevitable truth. "Have you and Damon set a timeline on that?"

"It changes, every day," she admitted, hands suddenly shaking as she thought about it and Caroline noticed. "I just figure I'll try to get this done with Elena first and then tackle that with him… He's going to flip his shit, Caroline. And rightfully so."

"Well, hopefully a night out with the guys right now will soften him up," Caroline said, recalling to the fact that Stefan had told her he was going out tonight for Guy's Night—Marcel's idea—to cheer Enzo up about Bonnie. Alaric and Damon, surprisingly, had gone too and she could only imagine what type of trouble they were all going to get into, once they had a few drinks in hand.

She also hoped that maybe this was the night that Enzo needed to move on from Bonnie's betrayal—even if he was unknowingly slinging drinks back with the betrayer.

"Damon's the designated driver so at least we don't have to worry about him getting drunk and saying the wrong thing," Bonnie replied, and Caroline nodded optimistically. "He didn't want to go but I told him he should be there to support him… He feels like a hypocrite, trying to get Enzo to move on and be happy even though I…" she stopped, and Caroline sat up to listen before Bonnie shook her head and swallowed her. "It's not Damon's fault I slept with him. It isn't. I made a choice."

"That's not what you were going to say," Caroline replied and Bonnie lifted a brow as she reached forward for a cracker and shoved it into her mouth as the blonde sat up and crossed her feet under her lap, sangria still in hand. "Does he know yet?"

"Does who know what?"

"Does Damon know you're falling in love with him?" she asked bluntly, and Bonnie lifted a brow as she sat up with a confused expression. "What? You can admit, Bon, I'm not judging. If anything, I think you two are kind of epic."

"I-I'm not in falling love with Damon," she replied shaking her head. "We're just… taking things slow and it is _way _too soon—"

"You've known him for close to thirty years, Bonnie."

"Yeah and I've known _this_ side to him for what, a month? That's insane."

"You didn't know Enzo _at _all when you fell in love with him a month after meeting each other. What makes it so insane that you'd fall in love with your best friend, who you _do _know, inside and out?"

Bonnie breathed at that; instantly remembering just how quickly the British man had swept her off her feet, after meeting him for just one night.

She had just come off a disaster of a first date with Kai Parker and Enzo happened to be sitting at the table beside them, getting stood up by his college sweetheart, Maggie James.

When Kai walked out—something about being offended that this restaurant didn't offer pork rinds as an appetizer—Enzo let out a long sigh which caught Bonnie's attention as she remained flabbergasted at what had just occurred.

"_I think he left you, love," the dark-haired stranger at the table next to hers said in a rich English accent and she shook her head in disbelief before she laughed—because why not at this point—and she tucked her black curls behind her ear._

"_Yeah, I think he did."_

"_Don't fret—besides the fact that he was probably voted Most Likely to Tie a Woman Up and Stick Her in the Trunk of His Car, he doesn't seem like your type. If I had to guess, you'd be going for a bit more normal."_

_Bonnie smirked at that as she raised her wine to her red lips and took a sip—his charcoal eyes watched her the entire time._

"_And is this what you do; come to restaurants alone and wait for blind dates to go bad so you can hit on the lonely girl who just got ditched on one?_

"_On the contrary, I'm being stood up once again by my flighty ex-girlfriend from university, just for old times' sake," he said, and she furrowed her brows as his grin remained charismatic. "But yeah—maybe it was for the better, so I could flirt with the gorgeous lonely girl at the table next to mine… Do you mind if I join you?"_

_Bonnie gestured towards the open seat that Kai once inhabited and she watched as the mystery man easily slid into place—his navy blue suit was paired with a skinny black tie and his dark hair was slicked back, in a classy but sexy kind of way._

_She immediately noted the watch on his left hand, it was expensive, and she watched as he stroked his freshly shaven face with his thumb before offering her a smile. _

_She wasn't sure if it was the wine or not, but she felt drunk already._

_He was pretty fucking hot. _

"_I'm Lorenzo St. John. My friends call me Enzo," he offered his hand and Bonnie shook it with a smile._

"_I'm Bonnie Bennett. My friends call me Bonnie or Bennett."_

_Enzo laughed at that. _

And the rest had been history. They spent the rest of the night talking over drinks and he wanted to know everything about her. She revealed that she was an adjunct professor currently, working towards her Doctorate in Occult Studies like her grandma, and she aspired to go full-time. She was transparent about the fact that this was the first date she'd been on in a month, but it was probably the most painful she'd been on in her life. And she vowed to never ever use a dating app again. She told him about her home life and her parents who were still together, but had moved to New York City after her dad retired because they were never really country folks—they came back to visit so frequently, though, so it never felt like they really left. Her Grams still lived in town.

In turn she found out he'd attended Oxford University and majored in Archaeological Science; he was currently working as a researcher at the Richmond County Laboratory and he'd most recently moved to Mystic Falls a few months ago from Boston, Massachusetts. He had dreams of opening his own museum one day and he was saving up his money to invest in one. He was an orphan, born in London and he survived through the system for 18 years—never really knowing his real mother or father, or why they had given him up. He only more recently discovered that he had family in Virginia after doing one of those DNA tests and it was the reason why he picked up and moved here—to connect with them and hopefully find out the truth about his birth parents, one day.

She remembered loving Enzo almost immediately. There was just something about him—_his laugh, especially—_that brought life into her and she had no problems telling him that she fell for him, after only about a month of dating.

He told her he'd fallen in love with too.

And looking back on it, she wondered if it was actually _love _that quickly, as they wasted very little time buying a home, moving in together, and getting engaged to be married, all within a short timeframe without really knowing each other's vices and bad habits.

They didn't get a chance to, as they traveled, nearly every month, and Bonnie only got to experience the good things with him when they were abroad—never hard or bad times. He opened her mind and brought her on a cultural, spiritual, whimsical adventure that resulted in a honeymoon phase that lasted nearly two years until she woke up one day and gradually started to come down from the high.

She still loved him, and she was grateful to know somebody like him; who had, had it so hard, and wasn't handed anything in his life, but he was still so open and so kind. He still had a huge heart and was able to make something of himself because of his quick wit and perseverance.

But she couldn't pretend that there _weren't_ things that bothered her, the longer she thought about. Like the fact that he could be a little over-bearing at times; often checking up on her if he didn't hear from her for like _an hour _and it made her feel like she never really got a chance to miss him, because he was always just there—slowly starting to smother her, despite how often she made plans just to get away.

Sometimes she needed a break.

She also couldn't ignore the rare but volatile times when they did argue; usually when he didn't agree with her about her way of handling something, and he could be _mean_ about it, while his words could leave bruises, as they shot like bullets off of his tongue.

He always apologized—less than an hour later, and they moved past it. It didn't happen often enough for it to raise any red flags but she made it a point to try to avoid confrontation as best as she could, because she didn't like to see that side of him and neither did he, he admitted. The snide, snobbish, arrogant asshole that he became during a fight wasn't the man she fell in love with and she knew it was better for the both of them when he didn't rear his ugly head.

He was protective of her and she understood why; he didn't grow up with a family to look after him, and his only friends were the other kids he'd met through foster homes. But she sometimes felt like he treated her like she was made of porcelain; like she was a fragile object who would break if he let her out of his sight for just one second and that was a far cry from the Bonnie who was a full-blooded fighter, never backing down or easing up even when she ought to.

But she still loved him; flaws and all, because she had hers too—like not thinking before she acted sometimes and being so hard-headed, she convinced herself that her skull was really made of stone—nobody was perfect. But as the days went on and they repeated the same mundane cycles—had the same routine over and over again—she craved to be enlightened. She was desperate just to feel like a living breathing human, and not someone's shiny new toy that had collected dust from sitting upon the top shelf. Enzo sophisticated her, she realized, but he also didn't excite her anymore.

They had the same conversations. The same plans. The same arguments. The same sex. He didn't seem to ache for her anymore, no matter what she did, until she slowly withdrew and stopped trying altogether. And one day finally, she knew that she loved him, but she wasn't in love with him anymore.

And by that point it was entirely too late to call things off. The wedding was slated to happen that month.

What she felt for Damon was different and truth be told she didn't know what it was but it stirred her bones, much more than Enzo had in three years and she couldn't understand why because there was nothing magical about him; he was the same 31 year old man that she'd known for her entire life.

The one she played video games with until 4 in the morning. The one she skipped rocks with down by the river when they were children. The one who knew all her deepest darkest secrets and promised to take them to the grave.

Still did.

The way they started, the relationship that they had now— it was all hidden in the dark; only alive in secret. But the fire for it still burned, as much as she tried to put it out, repeatedly, because it wasn't _right_ in the way that she and Enzo were. She and Enzo had plans. They discussed a future. They had it all mapped out and they were running on schedule and a timeline.

With Damon, it was all wrong; from their feelings to the timing, they couldn't have picked a worse thing to fall into because there was no certainty. It was forbidden and unspoken. It was raw and real, but somehow cosmic in its own way, as the stars suddenly aligned—_forced themselves to align—_to make her realize what had been right in front of her face for 29 years, despite never searching for it.

And it was fucked up because she wanted him so badly. His mind, his heart, _his body—_she was greedy for it and she knew it wasn't just because she enjoyed fucking him, even though the sex had been a huge perk as well. She just _genuinely _felt nervous about him in the best way possible and she had yet to understand, herself, why that was.

Damon made her feel passion and desire. He was storm that had disrupted her life and simultaneously cleared a path that led right back to him, every single time, no matter what trail she decided to take.

She didn't believe in love at first sight; not anymore. But something about Damon made her feel more like herself—_more at home—_with him than she had with anybody else. He had embedded himself inside of her brain—and heart—it seemed, because he was the first thing she thought about in the morning and the last thing she dreamed of before going to bed.

He was impulsive, reckless, and dangerous and for some reason it turned every single one of her senses on. His straight-forwardness, how cunning he was, his driven personality to go after what he wanted_—to take what he wanted—_made him an asshole but her weak in the knees, and she couldn't understand how someone so different from the man she'd been in love with for three years could make her feel this way but he did; Damon Salvatore changed her life.

Damon unraveled her down to the core, somehow, and even though they fought too because of his actions and her disagreement with them, Bonnie had always been someone whose opinion mattered to him. And he often admitted it to her, albeit reluctantly, when he told her she was right, and he could have handled something much differently. He never once made her feel like anything she was telling him was falling into deaf ears. He listened while still making her own choices. And he allowed her to make her own as well. They both just weren't afraid to call the other out when they thought it might be a bad one.

And now, this ordinary best friendship of hers had morphed itself into something more—something bigger than them both—and she couldn't explain the gravitational pull she felt towards him, other than the fact that she knew him—all of him, right down to every dirty detail of his life that he didn't even tell his brother, and he knew her, as well. He knew her even better than she could have ever imagined.

She couldn't decipher why she tingled from her toes straight up to the top of his head when he looked at her. Or why her mind choseto constantly have him on loop—an infinite replay—whenever she tried to stop and think of something else.

It was like there was nothing else.

_Nevertheless, she hated the idea of loving him so soon._

It would be a slap in the face to Enzo, Elena—and her own intelligence—if she jumped into the shallow end of this, eyes closed, with no life jacket and expected things to turn out well, because they wouldn't.

She couldn't love him yet because that defied all logic—_all reason—_and she just couldn't be that stupid, she told herself, though she had been dumb enough to get herself wrapped up into this entire situation in the first place.

Bonnie shook her head and finished the rest of her glass as she reached for her phone to text Elena again, while Caroline observed.

"I don't love Damon and he's not in love with me. We are just… figuring it out," she said, and the blonde didn't say a word though Bonnie knew just what she was thinking by the look on her face. "I texted Elena again. Hopefully she's on her way."

Though she knew whether she was or not, that wouldn't change the sinking feeling in her stomach that told her maybe Caroline was right.

She just couldn't let herself admit it yet.

**XXXXX**

Damon looked around the massive space that he was now standing in, as he leaned against the bar and the bass from the EDM music rattled the countertop while he nursed a Diet Coke.

He probably wouldn't have volunteered to be the designated driver tonight had he known Marcel's idea of a Guy's Night didn't mean drinks and darts at their local pub, but instead neon lights, progressive house, and girls in fishnets, bras, and short shorts parading around at a rave somewhere twenty minutes out of town in an abandoned warehouse out in the middle of nowhere, with shitty cell reception.

He needed a drink to be able to handle this shit.

The crowd was young— a lot of newly legal drinkers, he realized, as he could only liken the behavior of some of these people to those who had never had a drop of alcohol in their lives, and had been blessed for the first time with a Fireball shot to welcome them to their adulthood.

Damon figured he couldn't be too judgmental though—after all, he was the same fucking way as a kid—and his friends were just as bad right now, considering they were all tripping balls off of the complimentary molly that Marcel brought in for them. Damon's literal only escape from _that _hell was that he was the designated driver.

And suddenly being sober tonight wasn't so bad anymore.

He got to watch his brother dancing shirtless, with his flannel tied around his head in a pair of pilot goggles, fist bumping in circles in time with the music. And Alaric, the poor bastard, had awkwardly run into a few of his students who attended his history lecture last Fall at Whitmore; it was probably for the better that he was high because he was now taking shots with them and knowing his reclusive, ultra-controlled and laid back friend, he would've been mortified to even been seen by them if he were in his right state of mind.

Damon was sure to snap a few pictures of them both his iPhone for blackmail purposes.

As for Marcel and Enzo, they had disappeared into the crowd and Damon wanted to assume they met some girls, because he so desperately needed Enzo to at least hook-up with someone else already so he didn't feel so shitty about the fact that he was fucking Bonnie as early as this morning, when she stopped by his house just to bring him back his jacket he left in her condo when he rushed out the door for work.

An impromptu visit turned into an even faster quickie against the kitchen counter as he made her coffee and he couldn't say he regretted it because as always, Bonnie blew his mind. But seeing Enzo for the first time tonight since she'd had her talk with him, he could honestly say that he felt bad. He shouldn't have even been here, to be honest, considering he was the direct and indirect reason they had broken up. But Marcel insisted, because he didn't know anything, and Damon wasn't about to tell him the truth, without letting Bonnie do so herself, like she requested.

He wanted to talk to Enzo about it; he knew it was the right thing to do, as Bonnie had said, and he was eager to just get this shit out in the open already so he could deal with the consequences and move on with his life, because this constant state of anxiety he had to live in thinking about it was just not it.

But he knew he had no right to complain. And this was also the wrong place and the wrong time. Because tonight _was _about Enzo and trying to distract him from the horror film that had become his life lately. Why would Damon drop a plot twist on him now, and reveal that he had been the psycho serial killer all along, fucking up everything that he loved and leaving devastation in the wake?

He absolutely was not going to do that.

So, he was here. At the bar, watching his drunk and high ass little brother live his best life, until the guys eventually tired themselves out and decided they were ready to go home. He had to admit this wasn't the worst thing to ever happened to him. But he really could use a glass of whiskey.

Damon was awakened by his thoughts when Enzo came stumbling over through the crowd with a goofy smile on his face. He immediately braced himself for impact when the British man collapsed onto his shoulder and Damon held him up with a grin as he met his jaded eyes and the man snorted, patting Damon on the head before he gathered his thoughts long enough to speak.

"I'm _really_ fucked up."

"I've noticed," Damon laughed, and Enzo did too as he leaned more of his weight onto the bar and ordered a round of shots before he turned back to face him.

"Do you think I shouldn't have taken that pill? It really hit me harder than I thought."

"I think… you're an adult, capable of making your own wacky decisions and that I would be a hypocrite if I said you were overindulging… sometimes you've got to let loose to be able to reel it back in."

Enzo smiled at that before grabbing the shots off the countertop and holding one to Damon, with glimmering eyes.

"Take a shot with me, mate."

"I'm driving, remember? Tonight, Daddy Damon needs to be on his behavior. Otherwise, Jo and Caroline will have a warrant out for my arrest."

"It's just one, you'll be fine. I've watched you annihilate an entire bottle of tequila and still be able to stand."

Damon nodded at that truth and took the shot into his hand as they easily clanked the glasses together and knocked them back; the taste of straight vodka piercing his senses before he reopened his eyes and Enzo leaned on the bar again, standing beside him and looking out at the crowd and then him.

"I wanted to thank you for coming," he said, and Damon met his eyes quietly. "All of you, coming together to cheer me up tonight… it means a lot to me. Especially because I know you're Bonnie's friend too, and she and I…" he trailed off, ticking his jaw. "We're pretty non-existent, at this point."

Damon inhaled at that and slowly placed a hand on Enzo's shoulder giving it a tight squeeze, though his heart was racing all the while.

What could even say exactly that wouldn't make him feel like the biggest asshole to have ever walked the planet?

"Things… happen for a reason. And I just want you to know that whatever happens, I still care about you. I always will."

Enzo looked down at that, his black boots tapping against the ground before looking back up and finding Damon's eyes.

"Has she really not told you who he is?" Enzo asked and Damon shook his head 'no' quickly. "I guess I'm still just really taken by all of this… It's like she's a different person."

"I… think she's just trying to be more honest about who she's always been… and what she's always felt," Damon said carefully, and Enzo listened on. "I-I don't think it was right at all, just so you know—"

"I know," Enzo nodded. "You're the brother I never had," he added, and Damon felt his throat tighten as Enzo spoke on sincerely. "It's nice to know that even if Bonnie and I are pretty much through, you're still here. I can't thank you enough for that, Damon, truly— "

"Don't thank me, just… live your life. That's all I want. I want you to move on and be happy. I don't want you to think about what went wrong or anything else because you shouldn't mull over this forever. You should just know that you're better than everything you've been through—and you're strong. A hell of a lot stronger than I could ever hope to be in my life… I guess I've always sort of envied you in that way. You have no quit; you just keep going."

And he wasn't bullshitting him about that. One of the reasons Damon had so easily become friends with Enzo despite the fact that he was sweeping the woman that he loved off of his feet was because of his commitment to achieving all of his hopes and dreams, no matter what roadblocks or obstacles had stood in his way. Damon couldn't argue with why or how Bonnie had fallen in love with him; he was determined, patient, and a fighter. He fought longer and harder than anyone else had in their life.

Damon was jealous because he admired him so much. And it was impossible for Bonnie _not _to fall head over heels with this guy. He was a near-perfect specimen of a human being, while Damon was just… _Damon._

Enzo smiled grandly and hugged him at that and Damon exhaled when he held him in the tight embrace before he looked up and saw the last thing he expected to see, just a couple hundred feet ahead of them especially when he had on good authority that she was supposed to be at a Girl's Night at Bonnie's condo right now, not here. It was enough that he would feel forever lacking in Enzo's presence, but now he had to deal with _her _too?

He lifted a brow and Enzo immediately turned around to see what he was staring at and he squinted his eyes with a joyful, guttural laugh before turning to face Damon.

"Is that Elena Gilbert?"

It sure fucking was.

Dancing on top of the other end of the bar, dressed in microscopic metallic silver shorts, a neon crop top, and her hair out in wild curls, painted with glitter, as she moved to the beat and the crowd cheered her on.

Elena took back a bottle of Captain Morgan to the lips before pouring shots into other party goers' mouths as she jumped up and down happily on the bar.

Damon couldn't believe what he was seeing.

He dated this woman for an excruciatingly long time, and she had always been the poster girl for Girls Next Door. Hell, she could have trademarked it, if she wanted to. She was more into studying than partying in college which was fine—after all, it was the reason why she was now a medical doctor in the Emergency Department as Mystic Falls General Hospital. And she very openly preferred laidback nights in, with a bottle of wine, Netflix, and soft pajamas or a nice book to keep her company.

Damon accommodated that. He was a good boyfriend to her—usually—and never pushed her to drink, or dance when they went out to a party, even though it was what he liked to do. Elena didn't love the fact that he was much more outgoing than she was, because to her it was crossing the line of _flirty_ and a lot of their arguments boiled down to her not trusting him when he was around other women. She only felt okay with him being around Bonnie and Caroline.

He had to laugh at the irony in that, considering he was sleeping with one of them and the other now knew his deepest, darkest secret and guarded it with her life, even though she owed him nothing.

But to see Elena here, at a rave letting loose, was weird and confusing to him. And it seemed she was saved by the bell for now as his phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out to see Matt Donovan's name flashing across the bright screen.

Normally he would've sent him straight to voicemail but seeing as he was manning the bar alone tonight, he figured he should pick up, considering it be an emergency.

"I'll be back Enzo, don't move," Damon excused himself with his phone to his ear as he vacated the bar and tried to find somewhere quieter to take the call.

He walked down a corridor that led to the bathrooms and exhaled a sigh when he could finally hear himself think.

"This better be important Donovan," Damon snapped with the phone to his ear and he listened on as Matt explained himself on the other line with urgency.

"The ice machine is broken. Who do I call to fix this?... And where the hell are you? It sounds like two monorails are fucking in the background."

"A rave, don't ask."

"Okay, I won't. But do you have a number for a repairman? Unless you want to come take a look at it yourself?"

"I am on babysitting duty tonight so I can't. But check my office, there should be an address book in the top drawer. Guy's name is Sal. He's handy and I'm sure he can figure it out. Tell him to give me a call with an estimate. In the meantime, get creative about the ice situation. I'm sure you can figure it out."

"Will do," Matt said before they both hung up and Damon shook his head, immediately finding Bonnie's name to send her a quick text as he walked back over towards the bar to find Enzo and the rest of the guys.

_I hope you weren't planning on having that talk with Elena tonight. She ditched you for a rave. _

Damon's phone buzzed immediately in response as he read Bonnie's message.

_A rave? What the hell would she be doing at a rave? How do you know?_

_Because I'm at said rave and she's dancing on the bar like this is Studio 54. _

Damon looked up and his eyes squinted when he noticed Elena was no longer where he had seen her, and neither was Enzo, as he looked around for a moment and scanned the crowd for either one of them while his phone buzzed in his hand.

_Tell her I need to talk to her and it's important. _

_Will do as soon as I can find her, Bon, _he responded as he looked around again, when he made his way over to the dance floor.

His eyes looked through the crowd and immediately widened when he found Elena, indeed, with her arms wrapped around Enzo and her body pressed to his closely as they danced to the music blaring from the speakers and Damon swallowed hard as he witnessed the sight.

They were both laughing and nearly nose to nose as she placed a glow stick necklace around him, leaning into his ear and whispering something as she watched her hands slipping down his shirt and Enzo held onto her waist as he listened.

If Damon didn't know any better, he'd say they were fucking flirting. Right here. In plain sight, and they were both too hopped up on drugs and alcohol to care as Enzo spun Elena around and she landed in his arms, hard pressed with her ass to his torso, grinding against him slowly with her eyes shut in total ecstasy.

She grabbed his hands and boldly guided them along her bare midriff, and he said something onto her ear that garnered another laugh from her, before Elena turned back around to face him; her lips just a hair away from Enzo's. She reached into her pocket and placed a small tablet on her the tip of her tongue with a shiny smirk on her face, daring him to take it from her with just the aid of his mouth.

Damon's fists tightened as he watched on and decided enough was enough of that.

_Did you find her?_ Bonnie asked through text and he simply replied _Yep_ as he stormed over to the middle of the dance floor and grabbed her hand to pull her away—Enzo seemingly awakened his stupor as he opened his eyes and sent Damon an apologetic glance as he backed away.

"I'm… going to have some water."

Damon didn't answer that as Enzo all but power walked off and he turned to face Elena who was staring at him wild-eyed but definitely under the influence with crossed arms while he still held onto her.

"What the hell are you doing, you caveman?"

"Stopping you from doing something I know you don't want to do to Bonnie," he answered and Elena snorted as she ripped her arm away; her big brown eyes staring deep into his with such conviction, he almost thought she could set him on fire with her look alone.

"I don't want to do what to Bonnie? We were just having fun."

"You didn't see you, just now."

You're overreacting, Damon, but then again, I would expect you to. It's _Bonnie, _after all."

"Elena, you're drunk. And high. And who knows what else— "

"So, you think that I would hook up with her ex-fiancé behind her back because I'm having a good time?"

"Clearly I don't know what you're capable of… I didn't even think you'd ever be here."

"It's funny how that happens," she said as she looked into his eyes and offered a tight smile. "It's funny how you know someone and then one day… you just _don't._"

"What are you talking about Elena?"

"I saw you," she said firmly, and his brows lifted as she remained stoic; the bass in the warehouse rattling her bones. "I know about you and Bonnie—I saw everything."

Damon let out a sigh as he shook his head and moved forward to take her hand again, but Elena refused as she backed away.

"She wanted to talk to you, Elena. Tonight. It's why she invited you over, to be honest about everything."

"Oh, did she? She wanted to be _honest, _that's great—Bonnie feels remorse for taking away the one thing that was _mine_, for ten years... Am I supposed to be sympathetic?"

"No. No, you're not and I get that because you're hurt… And you have a right to be. But she's your best friend, Elena. And I know what we did was wrong, but it wasn't about _you_— "

"Enzo has no idea, does he?" she interrupted, and Damon remained silent as her eyes remained wide. "He has no clue that his 'best friend' and former fiancé are fucking around behind his back. And you had the nerve to make him feel like he did something wrong just now! Like dancing with me was _wrong_— "

"Because you're doing this out of revenge, Elena! It doesn't have anything to do with love. You just want to get back at Bonnie and using Enzo to do that isn't the way to go. He's hurting right now and lost and _confused_— "

"Do you love her?" she asked, and his mouth immediately shut as she laughed gravely and shook her head. "Because if you _love her _you think that makes all of this okay and that me or Enzo should just _accept that_—"

"Elena, that's not what I said—"

"Answer me," she demanded through her teeth and his mouth snapped shut as he watched the water slowly but surely filling her eyes the longer the silence passed between them.

He suddenly felt the weight of her tears were barreling down on him like Niagara Falls.

And he knew it would feel like shit. But this felt even worse than he could have ever imagined.

"Yes," he said honestly, and Elena's thick black lashes remained heavy as she blinked solemnly. "I do love her, Elena… I always have."

Elena let out a humorless laugh as she shook her head and turned on her heel to walk away but not before issuing a final threat.

"Maybe I'll go tell Enzo that. So that he won't feel so bad about the fact that I got him hard just now on the dance floor… He can finally know that his _best friend _is a lying sack of shit and his ex-fiancé is a whore," she said choked up in tears and Damon grabbed his wrist to pull her back as she turned to face him.

"Elena, stop—"

His words halted when her hand slapped him straight across the face and he swore he could hear the stinging of his skin over the bass thumping from the speakers; he pressed a hand to his jaw and he watched as Elena's eyes were gushing as she immediately moved past him, fists clenched at her sides.

"Fuck you, Damon! And fuck Bonnie too," she said as she stormed off and he took in a deep breath to try to balance himself though if he were honest, he was seeing red right now.

His phone buzzed again, and this time he didn't even read the message; instead he typed out a quick response and pressed send as he spun around to find Enzo before Elena did or else things were about to get a whole lot worse.

_We have a problem_, his text message to Bonnie started. _Elena knows._

**A/N: HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY, Y'ALL! Honestly I am on a roll with this story and I mean it when I say that your reviews and feedback give me the life and confidence and determination to continue to feed you all with the latest twisted bullshit I could come up in my mind for this one LOL. So, what did we all think? Just a few things to break down in this chapter. Who predicted Elena's batshit but ultimately justified reaction? And ooooooh gurl, she OUT for blood. I honestly like Elena (I know, I know—who am I? lolol) and I think TVD did a piss poor job of writing her for 8 seasons so even though she's against Bonnie in this story I feel like you gotta know where she's coming from—Damon was her first and only love and Bonnie's her best friend. I wouldn't take it lightly either. Next, I kind of wanted to show the dynamic between Enzo and Damon because although we're told they're friends Damon's been straight up avoiding him until now because of his own guilty conscious. Do we think Elena will really go through with it and tell him what the hell has been going on? And Bonnie and Caroline—ahh. So so so happy so many of y'all are here for this friendship because I love to write it, bbs are super precious. Do you think she's right that Bonnie's falling in love with Damon and if so, is that going to cause her to continue to dive right in or pump the brakes for fear of moving too fast like she did with Enzo? We shall see. As always, THANK YOU ALL for making this such a fun and exciting story to write. It's honestly been a pleasure. I am FOR SURE still working on my other stories as well, this one just has been captivated at the moment so be patient with me. And until next time. R&R my friends. PS: Stefan, wasted at a rave, with a flannel tied around his head; who else laughed? I did lmao. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Until You Were Gone**

"_Hey, can I get a quick picture of you two?"_

_Damon looked up from the bourbon he was nursing in his hand and the photographer stood just a few feet away from him and Elena, as he put his drink on the table beside them and snaked his arm around her waist while her palm landed on his chest._

_The man snapped a few photos and thanked them before moving on and Elena turned to face Damon, who immediately grabbed his drink again and placed it to his lips as she folded her arms and he met her eyes._

"_What?" he asked, after taking a sip._

"_You didn't even smile."_

"_I never smile in pictures."_

"_You could've smiled today," she scolded, and he rolled his eyes before she continued. "We are at Bonnie and Enzo's engagement party and _you're _the best man."_

"_I'm aware of that."_

"_And you've been in a mood the entire night. Why?" she asked and he stood up straighter. _

"_I'm not in a mood at all, Elena, but you're starting to put me into one."_

"_Typical Damon; blame me for your behavior."_

"_Typical Elena; playing the victim again."_

"_Maybe, if you slowed down on the bourbon you'd realize how much of an asshole you're being—"_

"_I'm perfectly fine Elena. Let it go. Do you always need to be this self righteous?" he shot back, and she let out a soft, irritated laugh, before raising both palms and grabbing her silver clutch. "Where are you going?"_

"_To hang out with _literally _anybody else at this party because I can't fucking stand you," she stormed off and he sighed but didn't go after her, as he watched her make her way across the courtyard of the restaurant Bonnie and Enzo had rented out, while he placed his drink to lips again and swallowed some more down. _

_He didn't even bother to follow to where she went because there was no point in it anyway. They'd been fighting all day—all month, actually— and normally Elena leaving in a fit would be cue to try to resolve things. He usually would've went after her because nine out of ten times it actually _was_ his fault and but tonight was different. He felt different anyway, as his eyes scanned the crowd and he instantly stopped when they landed on Bonnie and Enzo—who were talking to yet another partygoer, all smiles, as they showed them Bonnie's canary diamond and her arm hooked through Enzo's, as his lips landed sweetly on her cheek._

_He'd been watching the same moment—_the same horror film—_over and over again this entire night and if he could actually be honest with Elena about it—_about how he was feeling—_maybe she wouldn't be so surprised that he was in such a shitty mood and had taken to getting slightly more buzzed than he needed to be, though it wasn't even 7 PM yet. It was barely even happy hour. _

_The party was beautiful; the string lights that hung above the outdoor seating, paired with the flowers and elegantly placed decorations perfectly suited the occasion and to be honest, he expected nothing less from Bonnie and Enzo. They were Mystic Falls' new poster children for The Perfect Relationship and everyone made sure to tell them so, when they walked into the party and saw how lovely everything had turned out._

_And Bonnie and Enzo, predictably, looked amazing together—as the short brunette was dressed in a long flowing off the shoulder white lace dress that was perfect for the summer with deep red lips, and Enzo was wearing a slim fitted suit in the color of Merlot that matched; his white dress shirt was unbuttoned at the top and his black hair was perfectly slicked back, as he watched Bonnie more than once run her fingers through it, each time his lips affectionately met her skin._

_Damon was fucking nauseated and it wasn't because he had too much to drink. _

_He knew he should've been happy. After all, Bonnie and Enzo were his best friends and he was in a relationship with Elena—his dream girl, who had ambition, drive, compassion, along with a beautiful face, soul, and _body_ that she chose to show off tonight, in a tight baby blue dress that accentuated her long legs and had a plunging neckline that would have drove him wild on any other day._

_But it didn't do anything for him, tonight. In fact, she hadn't done it for him for about two months. And that directly translated to their sex life, as they slowly stopped doing it altogether, roughly since about the time he found out about Bonnie and Enzo's engagement, via Facetime from the Eiffel Tower and his entire world flipped upside down, though he had to pretend like everything was business as usual and he was _thrilled _they were taking the next step._

_He wasn't. He never would be, he realized, as his eyes continued to roam over Bonnie's perfectly golden skin and he became hypnotized by her laugh that he could hear from across the courtyard; his heart continuously breaking when he realized he would never get the chance to make her laugh like that, because he was too much of a chicken to tell her what he had felt for her all of these years growing up and now? It was too late. And Enzo was the better man._

_For everything Damon felt like he lacked, Enzo possessed easily; he was charming without trying, he was easy-going, level-headed, and he was smart as well. Honestly, how would he even possibly compete with a man who went to Oxford for his undergrad, and then subsequently got a full-ride to Harvard, for his Masters in Archaeology?_

_Who even went to school for that? And actually found success and a career in it?_

_Enzo did, apparently, and for as infuriatingly intelligent that he was, Damon still couldn't find it in his heart to _hate him_. Not only because he made Bonnie so damn happy and Bonnie's happiness was what he ultimately wanted, but it was because Enzo was kind, and genuine, and he'd easily become friends with him, despite the fact that it hurt his heart to watch this man sweep the woman that he loved off of her feet._

_Enzo effortlessly fell into their friend's group; he was there for everything, from Friendsgiving, to group trips, to Paint Night or playing pool. He'd become one of Damon's best friends, and he wanted to be happy for him but he just couldn't bring himself to let it go, because despite knowing what Bonnie and Enzo both deserved which was each other, he knew what his heart truly wanted. And it was her, it always had been._

_He feared it always would be._

_He walked over to the bar and ordered another drink—his mouth pressed to another glass of bourbon, neat, as his father Giuseppe walked over, and Damon immediately stood up straighter and offered a crooked smile._

_His father and his step-mother, Gail, had come all the way back to Virginia from Italy for the special occasion and Damon had to admit he actually was happy to see them again, considering the fact that it felt like his life was a fucking mess lately. _

_Stefan and Caroline were super busy being newly married parents, Sarah was only here between semesters when she wasn't traveling the globe, Bonnie spent nearly all of her time with her new fiancé, Elena fought with him on a daily basis, and the rest of his friends were too busy and wrapped up in their own lives to realize his was falling apart. _

_He couldn't exactly blame them. _

_No one knew what he was feeling—they would kill him if they did—and he couldn't exactly vent about it to anyone without sounding like the world's biggest douchebag for being upset that his beautiful best friend, Bonnie, had found someone to spend the rest of her life with, but he didn't want her to, because he secretly harbored feelings for her that she had no fucking idea about. _

_Yeah, that sounded pretty unhinged. _

_Damon snapped out of his thoughts when Giuseppe shot back a smile in return, his hand met his shoulder and he leaned into Damon's ear and spoke clearly._

"_Son, let's take a walk."_

_Damon complied, as he followed him out of the courtyard and down a trail into the garden, as he popped a freshly prepared cigar into his mouth, and they walked in silence for a moment before his father finally spoke._

"_You look miserable," Giuseppe said bluntly, and Damon forced himself to look surprised even though he knew it was the truth—his father could always see right through him. "I've been gone for just a year, Damon, but I can always tell when you're unhappy… Things aren't well with Elena," he stated, and Damon ticked his jaw as his free hand met his pocket._

"_How can you tell?"_

"_Everybody can tell," Giuseppe replied, and Damon didn't answer that. "I fear you two are getting lost, in a never-ending cycle that won't end until one of you gets honest about why it hasn't been working… And I feel that it needs to be you."_

_Damon stopped and looked into the reflective blue eyes of the man before him and his brows furrowed._

"_You… want me to dump Elena? You love Elena."_

"_I do love Elena—I think she's wonderful," his father admitted, and Damon remained confused as the man looked into his eyes. "She's driven, smart, and patient… especially with you… But you don't love Elena, Damon. And it isn't fair of you to waste her time… Especially when you are sure about who it is that you _do _love… You've been sure about this, for quite some time."_

_Damon swallowed hard and maintained innocence, though he knew his father was reading him like a book._

"_I… don't know what you mean, Dad—"_

"_You love Bonnie," Giuseppe said straight up, and Damon went rigid as his father's eyes pierced through him like a butcher knife cutting through butter. "You've always loved her. Your mother used to tell me so, when you were just a kid. She'd always say you were Bonnie's knight in shining armor. She was convinced we could tell you, you were never going to get another gift for Christmas ever again and you wouldn't care… just as long as Bonnie was allowed to come over," his Dad said and Damon inhaled a sigh as he shook his head. _

"_We're just friends, Dad. She's been my best friend for years."_

"_I remember when I believed the same; I thought you just really valued her as a friend… because she was sweet, but she had this fire about her, and she was just always putting you in your place when you needed it… But when your mother passed away, and you two started to grow up—started getting even closer—I knew it was more than that… I knew that you loved her, even though you'd never admit to it because it scared you. It still does, doesn't it?"_

_Damon was a ghostly white as he watched his father blow out a puff of smoke from his cigar and he shook his head before taking a long sip of his drink; suddenly it was getting harder and harder to gulp it down._

"_I just want the best for her. She… deserves it, after putting up with me all of these years."_

"_You want her to love you back," Giuseppe said earnestly, and Damon bit his lip. "In your perfect world, Bonnie would be yours and everything would be fine. This party would be for you two, instead of her and Lorenzo… And you would know that all the years that you waited to tell her how you felt were worth it. You'd believe _she'd _think you were worth it."_

_Damon blinked silently and finally looked down as they stopped walking. His eyes filled with every emotion he'd been trying to hold back for the past several years and when he looked up again his father noted the tears behind his eyes even though he wouldn't dare to let them fall. _

_He refused to._

"_I lost the girl, Dad," he finally said Giuseppe placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it softly. "I never told her how I felt because I'm an idiot. And somehow, I think we're all better off. She can be with Enzo and I'll be with Elena—I'll find a way to be happy—"_

"_Son," Giuseppe started, and Damon pressed his lips together as his father offered him a solemn stare, "You'll never be happy if you continue to live your life this way; a life of regret and fear. You'll never forgive yourself and you'll resent Elena because of it and she doesn't deserve that… So, you need to let her go," he added, and Damon inhaled a deep breath. "You need to let her go and you need to tell her the truth… You've… taken away years of her life, Damon, when she could've been happy all this time with someone else… Don't you believe that you owe her that? The truth?"_

Damon's hands gripped the steering wheel in his car as his phone pinged non-stop; a mixture of messages from Bonnie asking him what the hell was going on, Enzo who was profusely apologizing for what happened on the dance floor between him and Elena, and now Alaric, who asked him where he was because he'd witnessed only a segment of his argument with Elena and though he had no clue what they were going on about, he saw when it got ugly and she smacked him across the face before storming off.

His face still stung actually—that girl had a killer right hook on her—and he ticked his jaw as his eyes remained focused on the deserted road ahead, before he finally saw her in the distance, walking alone, and he slowed almost to a stop, while rolling down his window.

He was fortunate enough to be able to keep up with her after nearly losing her in the crowd and luckily enough for him, her threats to tell Enzo were empty, _for now__ anyway_, as he followed her outside and watched as she began walking. He had no idea how she was going to get home and it appeared neither did she, so he got in his car and followed her.

But Elena was stubborn. Also pissed off. And she was under the influence. And that was a deadly combination if he actually wanted her to listen to him but he needed to try. He owed her that much, he realized.

He needed to make sure that she was okay.

"Elena, get in the car," he demanded, and she shook her head as she was still crying; her cheeks and nose now pink from her tears and the crisp early December air as she walked, hands crossed over her chest.

"Leave me alone, Damon."

"I'm not going to leave you alone until you get in the car," he replied, and she scoffed but continued walking. "You'll get hypothermia out there. You're wearing shorts for crying out loud."

"So, now you care about my well-being? When you want me to do something that benefits you?"

"What I want is for you to get into the car so you don't freeze to death."

"You want me to get into that car so I don't call Enzo. That's all you care about Damon! Saving your own ass, and protecting Bonnie—"

"I care about you okay? And I know I owe you an explanation. And and an apology. I owe you _a lot _of things right now but let me start off with taking you home," he answered. "Please, Elena. You know that I don't beg and I am _begging you. _You can tell Enzo the truth if you want to—I won't stop you if you feel like that's what you need to do. But I need you to get into the car. That's all I'm asking, okay?"

Elena finally stood still and Damon saw that as his opportunity to finally put the car in park and he hopped out, peeling off his leather jacket as he placed it around her shoulders. He went to open the door and she stopped him with a shake of her head as she looked into his eyes and wiped the mascara that stained her cheeks.

He remained silent and listened.

"I'm not getting into the car until you answer a few questions," she said, and he let out a sigh before nodding and dropping his hands at his sides.

"Okay, Elena. We'll do this your way."

"How long?" she asked immediately, and he pursed his lips. "How long have you been sleeping with her?"

Damon sighed and looked directly into her eyes as he answered; his voice remained even, though his stomach was doing back flips.

"Two months. Maybe a little longer," he said truthfully, and she swallowed hard.

"How did it start?"

"We… had sex for the first time the night before her wedding… And it wasn't until a few weeks later that we continued things," he added as she shook her head and he licked his teeth. "She wanted to tell you, Elena and she's been working up the nerve. That's why she invited you over tonight—"

"Stop talking, it is _my _turn," she said through her teeth and Damon shut up as she blinked back tears and continued her interrogation. "When did you fall in love with her?"

Damon looked down and Elena's fists tightened as the silence passed between them. He let out a exhale when he looked up and her eyes were like daggers as they stared directly into his.

"When I was 18 years old," he said and her brows creased immediately as Damon didn't even blink and he went on, "when I brought her to prom after that guy stood her up… I just _fell for her, _even though I told myself I wouldn't. We weren't together, then, Elena—"

"But you did get back together with me. Multiple times after that. Even though you loved her," Elena said and he didn't deny it as he watched a tear roll down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. "So, you _used me—"_

"Elena—I loved you. I did, I promise I did—"

"I fucking hate you, Damon!" she screamed through her tears as she pushed him away and threw his jacket to the ground. "How could you? How could you waste _ten years _of my life, just like that? Like it was nothing, without any remorse?" she hiccuped through her tears and his eyes turned somber at the fact that she was right; he had wasted her time—_her best years_—when she could have been off loving literally anybody else in the world, instead of him—the man who was in love with her best friend and always would be, no matter how hard he tried to fight it.

Damon's hands found his pockets and Elena turned away as she began hysterically crying and he shut his eyes for a moment to try to gather his thoughts but if he were honest, they were completely fucking scrambled. When he reopened his eyes, she was sitting on the cold hard ground with her back against his car; her eyes shielded by her hands as she continued sobbing.

He'd never heard her cry like this—not even when they were together; _not even when he let her down one last time and broke up with her._

And something about that stirred him—it made him feel sick to his stomach that he was the one who caused this; he destroyed her. And there was nothing he could say to make any of this better because he couldn't turn back the hands of time. He had to live with this—_with this awful thing he'd done_—and he officially hated himself even more than he already did.

He now knew that he was the most fucked up, irredeemable _asshole _on the planet, despite how much he liked to believe that he had changed. It still would never be good enough, because he couldn't fix this. He couldn't repair what had been shattered into a million pieces.

He sat down next to her and she didn't even acknowledge him until he started to speak.

"I'm sorry, Elena," he said softly as he looked ahead. "I'm sorry that I did this to you. I'm sorry that I broke your heart," he added, and she continued to look down into her hands that were shaking as he shook his head and leaned further back against the car. "I was afraid to tell Bonnie how I felt—and I waited so damn long to do something I should've done ages ago and I'm sorry. Because that wasn't your fault. And you deserved better than that. You always deserved better than me and I knew it…I should've treated you better. I should've done right by you a long time ago, and you didn't deserve to find out about this the way that you did… No one does."

There was a long silence between them as he grazed both his hands against the road to keep them from trembling. Elena's knees were up to her chest and she remained with her head in her hands as she finally spoke again—this time while shivering and it only further stabbed at his heart as he listened to her tiny, shaky, _devastated_ tone.

"I've always wanted you to be happy, Damon, even when you weren't with me," she sniffed and he pursed his mouth as she finally looked up and her red puffy eyes met his. "It's all I ever wanted—I wanted you to find the love that you were looking for; the love that I somehow couldn't provide, even though I gave you everything," she said and he nodded_. _

"You did. I'm grateful for that, Elena. I am—"

"But you've never wanted that for me," she interrupted, and he frowned as she let out a humorless laugh and found his eyes, once more. "You've never cared… and that's how I know you never really loved me. Because if you _loved me _you wouldn't have strung me along; you wouldn't have kept me _miserable with you_. You would've let me go."

Damon ticked his jaw and Elena slowly stood to her feet as she looked down at him, sitting on the ground. Damon let out a deep sigh when he met her eyes. Her hand was pressed to the handle of the door.

"Elena..."

"Can you take me home now?" she ignored him and he exhaled as he stood to his feet and nodded. "I'm ready to go."

She got into the car and so did he; immediately putting the vehicle in drive as he coasted down the long winding road with both hands on the wheel until they hit the highway and headed back towards Mystic Falls.

The silence was heavy as he drove and Elena's eyes remained fixed out of the window for the next twenty minutes or so, until he finally pulled into her driveway and turned off the engine when he turned to face her though she was still looking away.

He cleared his throat as he watched her fish for her house keys.

"I know that there isn't anything I can say to make this right," he said as she remained quiet and he swallowed the lump that was in his chest. "But I think you should talk to Bonnie. She's your friend, Elena, and she wants a chance to explain herself. She thinks you're worth that."

Elena opened her door and turned to face him with an apathetic expression that chilled his bones and she finally had her keys in her hand while he waited for her to talk.

The anticipation was killing him.

"You don't love her either," she said simply, and his brows furrowed at that as Elena remained stone-faced, before she continued. "Because if you did, you wouldn't have ruined her life like this, just to get what you want… As far as I'm concerned, Bonnie and I are no longer friends so long as she's with you," she said and his heart sunk at those words as he listened on. "You can tell her that she can have you—it's perfectly fine. You don't have to worry about me telling Enzo anything because I won't; I don't want _anything _to do with either of you anymore and I think I deserve better than being the scapegoat that you can use when this all blows up in your faces because it will, Damon. So, I wish you both the best, I do… but with all due respect, you can both rot in hell."

Elena got out of the car at that and slammed the door shut behind her. Damon didn't say a word as she walked off and he watched as she disappeared into her home, without ever looking back.

**XXXXXX**

"Still nothing from Damon?" Caroline asked as she watched Bonnie pacing the living room and the brunette shook her head as she bounced her phone against her palm, before meeting her eyes.

"Radio silence since that ominous text message about Elena knowing something and then _nothing_," she said as Caroline pouted, and Bonnie let out a sigh. "Do you think we should go to the rave? I mean, I don't know what else to do at this point."

"I think that we just killed about three pitchers between the two of us, so staying put and _not _operating heavy machinery is probably our best bet," Caroline said, and Bonnie nodded.

"You're right—I'm just drunk. And nervous. And maybe Damon is taking care of it," she said, and Caroline nodded, her eyes filled with hope. "I've been terrified to face her about this and tonight, I finally had the courage to be honest and she already knows," Bonnie bit her lip, shaking her head. "How long has she known? And why didn't she say anything?"

Caroline shifted at that, offering a sympathetic stare.

"She's Elena, Bon. You know that she doesn't do confrontation very well. She hates it… And maybe she was trying to avoid it; not let it sink that you and Damon are… _together_. And she's the one who got left behind."

"I guess I never considered her reaction because I thought she was over it," Bonnie said as she finally sat down and ran her fingers through her hair. "I mean, this entire time I've been preparing myself for how _badly _Enzo is gonna take this and I just… let things with Elena go to the wayside," she confessed, and Caroline frowned. "I've been a terrible friend to her, through this entire thing."

"You've been going through a lot too, Bonnie. You broke off an engagement on your wedding day, you're falling for someone you've known forever but never saw in _that way_, and he happens to be your fiancé's _best friend _and your best friend's… _ex_," Caroline said softly as Bonnie looked to the ground. "You can't help who you fall for."

"No," she shook her head, "because if I could, it wouldn't be Damon… My life would be _so much easier_ if it weren't," she said, and Caroline moved in and placed an arm around her shoulder as Bonnie folded her hands and found her eyes.

"You didn't _want _easy—that's why you left Enzo in the first place," Caroline reminded her gently and Bonnie ticked her jaw because she was right, though she didn't respond. "You… _want_ this chaotic, complex, passion-filled _desire _that Damon makes you feel and there isn't anything wrong with that. It's not wrong to want to feel all that he makes you feel," Caroline said, and Bonnie scoffed softly.

"It is wrong when you can't be honest about it to your best friend, or your ex," she said shrugging her shoulders. "Because then it just makes you a liar. And a cheater. And a _slut_…"

"You're not a _slut _for wanting what you want… Do you think any guy on this planet would call Damon one, for pursuing you? _They wouldn't. _He'd be applauded for it; for being so tenacious, and driven, and _determined_ to fight for what he wants… Some people, _like me_, might even see it as romantic that he wants to be with you _so badly _that he's fighting so damn hard for it. He's giving it his all, Bonnie and he's not ashamed about it… So why are you? Yeah, it sucks for Elena and Enzo and they do deserve an explanation and an apology for how this all happened but at the risk of sounding insensitive, whether they know or not, _it doesn't change how you feel. _It doesn't change the fact that you _want _to be with him, and you said you'd choose _him,_ despite the shitty outcome from the fallout."

"I am. I will choose him, no matter what happens."

"Okay, so, own it, Bonnie Bennett. _Own how you feel_—don't discount yourself just because you went after what you wanted. Because _no one _in this town has to live in your shoes—we don't have to live with this, but you do. And it doesn't make you a _slut _because you want to be happy… It makes you a person who wants to be _happy. _And you deserve that—you always have. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Bonnie blinked back tears and she reached in for a hug as Caroline's arms wrapped around her shoulders and held her in a tight embrace as she inhaled a deep breath.

Caroline was right.

She would forever look back on all the ways that she could've done this differently—_how she could've been honest from the start—_but none of that would change the present. None of her _could have, would have, and should have's_, would change the fact that she wanted to be with Damon _now_ and once the truth was out, there would be nothing standing in her way or holding her back from fully committing to this.

She had fallen for him, more and more each day. And though she desperately wanted to stop time—_or at least pause it to catch her breath, and fully examine just what the hell she was getting into_—she couldn't and perhaps she was better off that way.

She'd spent her entire life being an over-thinker; over-analyzing a guy's words or behavior, losing sleep over what they did say—_and didn't—_and it led to many sleepless nights and heartbreaks, that usually led her to Damon's door at two a.m., as he listened to her talk for hours and plied her with ice cream, in an attempt to make her feel better.

Damon knew every shitty thing any guy had ever done to her, and he hadn't done the same. He was straight-forward, since admitting how he felt for her and he made it perfectly clear that he wanted her to be in his life, despite how hard or wrong it would be, once the truth finally came to light.

She lost sleep over Damon, but for all the _right reasons, _as she ached to be beside him when he wasn't there, and she wanted nothing more than to be even _closer _to him when he was; her thoughts instantly floating away to memories of him innocently running his fingers through her hair, as they stared at each other for the ten thousandth time, and wondered just how the hell they'd even gotten here.

She imagined—_more often than she wanted to admit to, actually—_what it would be like when she and Damon _could _express themselves publicly. She fantasized about it all, from their first kiss in front of other people, to just holding hands; all the things _normal _people got to do without thinking twice, when they were with someone.

Her mind instantly flashed to just a few days ago when they decided to go ice skating and how much fun she'd had, though she desperately wanted to be able to hug and kiss him without fear of judgment and criticism from people who only knew the stories but didn't actually know them.

Because nobody actually knew them at all, except for _them. _

"_Take my hands."_

"_No, I don't want to."_

"_Damon, you're gonna fall right on your ass."_

"_And I'll take you down with me."_

_Bonnie squealed when Damon wobbled forward on his ice skates and almost crashed into her. A hearty laugh emitted from his lips before he caught his balance again. This time without asking, Bonnie gracefully circled in front of him and took both of his hands into hers, stopping him in his tracks as she glanced up into his blue eyes and offered a grin as she slowly skated backwards and pulled him with her. _

"_Show off," he teased and Bonnie grinned as she confidently let go of his hands for just a second to do a perfect pirouette before capturing his palms once more. "You always have been."_

"_It's not my fault I've just always been better than you at ice skating. And bowling. And tennis—"_

"_It's because you're annoyingly competitive," he chirped and she scoffed, still grinning. "I just like to go with the flow."_

"_Spoken like a true loser." _

"_Well, you fucked this loser so what does that say about you?" He asked sweetly and she slapped his arm he smirked. "What?!"_

"_Language, Damon. There are kids around."_

"_The five year old in front of us literally dropped the F-bomb ten minutes ago. Go yell at him," he accused and she laughed at that while he continued to skate slowly. _

_He stopped arguing with her long enough so she could coach him through it— and reminded him not to look down at his feet though he was tempted. _

_He followed her instructions and he was slowly getting it, after only about an hour of falling on his ass and getting back up to try again, because he'd never been a quitter. And he wanted to impress her. _

_And perhaps he could sweet talk himself into getting a massage if he fell again and broke his tailbone. _

_Either way, he was going to make the best of it. _

_He had to resist the urge to fuck this all up by being Typical Damon, because he'd waited far too long for this. He'd waited years for her to notice him, to feel the same way. And now that he had her, he refused to let her go. _

_And that's what led him here, to the town's annual tree lighting and now ice skating, in the Mystic Falls Town Square on a brisk evening, as cheery Christmas music played on and the ice rink bustled with couples and families, trying to get into the holiday spirit. _

_Bonnie had no trouble doing that. _

_When he showed up to her condo to properly pick her up, she had on an adorable green elf hat that went perfectly with her cream cashmere sweater. And she plopped a Santa hat right on top of his dark hair, right as she let him know he wasn't allowed to take it off the entire time. _

_She was lucky she was so goddamn cute. _

_Damon bit his lip when he felt Bonnie hold his hands a little tighter; he couldn't ignore the exhilarating feeling in his stomach as her skin touched his and he realized that they were pretty much hiding in plain sight. _

_They were on a date—not an official one yet, but still—in a very public place in the middle of town, yet somehow no one suspected a thing. He'd even told his brother his plans when he texted him that morning to see what he was up to for the day and Stefan didn't think anything of it when he told him to have fun. _

_They skated around for another half hour or so before they finally exited the rink and made their way over to the rentals as Damon handed in their tickets and in exchange they received their shoes. _

"_Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" She smirked and he scoffed as he laced up his black boots and shook his head. _

"_If the choice was between that again, or cholera—"_

"_Damon," she cut him off with a whine and he smiled sweetly as she folded her arms. "This is the holiday season, you're supposed to be cheery! You've even got a hat on."_

"_You made me wear this."_

"_Aren't you glad you did? We fit right in," she beamed and he snorted as they walked to his car. "You used to love Christmas when we were kids."_

"_I loved everything before I had to start paying bills," he retorted and she slapped his chest playfully before he opened her door to allow her into the car. _

_When Damon got in on the driver's side and started the engine Bonnie turned to him and continued. _

"_The holidays are supposed to make you all warm and fuzzy, Damon. And if I can be warm and fuzzy after everything going on, you can be warm and fuzzy," she replied and he licked his teeth. _

_She was right. He was being a bit of a Scrooge and if he wanted to survive the holiday season with Bonnie it'd be in his best interest to show a little more enthusiasm and try to keep up with her. _

"_Fine, I'll suck it up. But I'm doing this for you, you know."_

_Bonnie smiled at that and Damon swallowed hard when he felt her take his hand into her own. Her thumb drew small circles over his palm and his skin immediately ignited at the touch. He met her eyes when he felt her own on him. _

"_Is your dad coming back for Christmas this year?" She asked and Damon shook his head 'no' as he looked ahead. _

"_It makes him sad, I think. Even though he has Gail now and they're really happy… Christmas was my mom's favorite holiday. And being at the boarding house, imagining how she would've decorated it… I think it'd be a lot for him… Sarah's gonna visit them actually. Her flight leaves for Italy in a few days, right after she's done visiting friends in Chicago. She's taking Donovan with her… And Stefan and Caroline are going to her mom's place. They invited me along but I don't know."_

_Bonnie nodded in understanding before she cleared her throat and her eyes looked ahead. _

"_I mean, if you're… not busy, then, you could always come to my Grams' for Christmas dinner," she said casually and Damon nearly stopped the car at her words. _

_His forehead wrinkled and Bonnie sent him a curious glance when she noticed the expression on his face._

"_What's wrong?"_

"_Nothing, nothing is wrong," he said as he pulled into her driveway and stopped, finally facing her. "I… just didn't know I was invited to that… To spend Christmas with your family."_

_Bonnie blushed at that as she looked down at their hands for a moment, completely realizing she and Damon hadn't actually talked about the holidays at all and how they would be doing them now that they were basically in a weird, semi-dating phase with one another. _

_On thanksgiving they didn't have to talk about it. She went to New York with her Grams to see her parents and he had been invited to a dinner party at Caroline's step sister Cami's house; a mansion in the next town over from Mystic Falls, where she and her husband Niklaus—or Klaus for short—lived. _

_Camille's father, Kieran—the priest who almost married Bonnie and Enzo—was married to Sheriff Liz Forbes, and Damon had to pretend he didn't feel insanely awkward as they drilled him with questions about Bonnie and Enzo until Caroline swooped in and saved the day, by distracting them with her twin boys until they left him alone for the rest of the dinner. _

_And he wished his problems stopped there but they hadn't. _

_Klaus' sister Rebekah had taken a liking to him, even giving him her number by the end of the night. When he told Bonnie about it, she actually got jealous hearing about the blonde bombshell fawn all over him for hours; shamelessly hanging onto his arm as they talked, Caroline also confirmed, and it was then that Bonnie was ready to admit to herself this went beyond sex or an infatuation with Damon—she actually really, really liked him and she didn't want to share him with anybody else. _

_She wasn't willing to let him date other women, although they hadn't put any labels onto what they were doing. And that was when she made the executive decision to invite Damon to her family Christmas. _

_She saw him as much more than a friend, despite how much she wanted to fight it. And it was time she started proving that to him, if she wanted him to stick around. _

"_Why wouldn't you be invited? This is… going pretty well, I think," she said cautiously and he bit back a smile as he immediately detected the nervousness in her tone. "I mean—if you agree, anyway—"_

"_Yeah, I-I agree," he answered and Bonnie pursed her lips to hide her smile. _

"_Okay good," she said lightly though she was bursting at the seams. "It'll be fun. Grams makes the best eggnog, and we listen to music, and play games by the fire… it's honestly a really good time."_

"_I'm… honored to be invited then," he said softly, genuinely, and Bonnie bit her lip as she felt him lean in a bit closer until their noses were almost touching and she shut her eyes. _

_His lips pressed gently to hers Bonnie sighed into the kiss, when she felt his thumb slowly tilt her chin and both of her hands met his face, grasping onto her tightly though the kiss was over, almost right after it started. _

_Each kiss between them had been more torturous than the rest, since the night she proposed that they be be honest about things with Elena and Enzo. It was almost as if things were starting to feel _serious _and her heart raced with anticipation every time he slowly leaned in, though sometimes it would be just to give her a peck on the cheek. _

_She'd given up Enzo for this; broke his heart, even, and she still thought about it routinely, until she stopped herself and repeated it in her head that they were both better off and it didn't work out for a reason—because there was something bigger in store for them both, not just her. _

_He still wasn't talking to her despite the fact that she'd called and texted him to apologize again for what she had done and she couldn't blame him—she had cheated on him and moved on so embarrassingly fast it made her almost have whiplash too. But she hoped with time and continued effort he would at least be able to be her friend again, someday, even if that wasn't right now. And especially after the he found out the entire truth. She hoped the same with Elena as well, though she hadn't been able to get ahold of her. _

_They had to be prepared to be hated by everybody and Damon, again, took that as a testament to much Bonnie really did care for him that she'd be willing to do that; to seemingly blow up her life for him and he felt thankful knowing that this wasn't all in his head. She wanted to be with him, no matter the consequences and she would eventually work up the courage to be completely transparent about it. Her goal was to do it all before the New Year began. _

_He kissed her again. Only this time a little bit stronger and Bonnie swooned as she immediately unbuckled her seatbelt and leaned in against his lips; her hands grasping at his hair and her tongue slowly moving against his, before she finally pulled away and placed both hands on his chest. _

_Every single part of her was _throbbing _right now and she was going to be in big trouble if they kept that up. _

"_Are you coming inside for a drink or do you have to go?" She asked, and Damon bit his lip as he followed her eyes and offered a genuine smile. _

"_I'm wherever you want me. I'd love to… come inside," he paused and Bonnie laughed with pink cheeks at that, as did he, while her thumbs continued to stroke the breast of his jacket and she shook her head. _

"_You're disgusting. I meant come inside of my place. Not me."_

"_Both are fine," he nodded and she bit back a smirk as she shook her head and opened her door to get out of the car. _

_He immediately followed suit. This time he took her hand first as he led her up the steps and she let out a hearty and surprised laugh the second they reached the doorway and he swooped her into his arms bridal style and walked her in, quickly shutting the door behind them. She ripped off her hat and his too as he plopped her down onto the couch and tore off both their jackets as he kissed her; again and again and again, and she grinned against the taste of hot cocoa and peppermint that was still on his lips from the tree lighting that evening. _

_They spent the rest of that night making a home-cooked meal and listening to Bonnie's favorite Christmas songs as he laughed from the couch with his beer in his hand when she used a hair brush to perform them as fiercely as she knew how and he was sure to give her a standing ovation at the end. They finished the night off under blankets by the fire place and it was in that moment she saw the flash of a future with Damon. _

_And to be quite honest, she wasn't sure how she had ever imagined her life any other way. _

Bonnie smiled fondly as she remembered it all because being with him made her want all of those mindless, involuntary _simple things _with her best friend. And Damon wanted nothing, _except_ _every single part of her, inside and out, whether it was wrong or right and she wanted it to finally be _right_. _

He'd changed the trajectory of her life in a _huge way _by taking a chance the night before her wedding, and she still marveled at the _balls _this guy had to have to do that. He was willing to throw all caution to the wind on a _chance _that she felt the same way, and here she was, two months later, still tongue-tied and besotted because _he _made her feel that way. He made her believe none of this had to be perfect—it just had to be what they both wanted, and she absolutely wanted this. She wanted _him _so badly she could barely think straight.

She'd never wanted something this badly in her entire life, and she decided she wasn't going to let that scare her anymore, but instead, empower her.

She didn't know where she would be in five or ten years; she didn't know if Mystic Falls was _it _for her or if she'd set off to travel the world, leaving her job behind to see new things and try more on some more experiences.

But if you asked her where her heart would be, then, she still believed it would be with Damon.

She now would _always _want it to be wherever he had gone.

Bonnie pulled away and looked Caroline in the eyes, as the blonde offered her a soft smile and tucked her hair behind her ears.

"I'm sorry that I'm a mess."

"You are," Caroline said, "and I'm gonna have to start charging you for these pep talks if you keep this shit up," she responded, and Bonnie laughed softly as did Caroline.

"I… think you might be right, about me falling in love with him," she suddenly revealed and Caroline's cheeks widened into a full blown grin as she watched Bonnie nervously shake her head. "I haven't wanted to admit it because I guess I'm just terrified things won't work out. And if they don't… I don't know what I'd do, Caroline. Because he's not just some _guy_ I'm seeing, he's…quite possibly the person I could end up spending the rest of my life with, barring any more complications," she added and Caroline watched on silently as Bonnie bit back a smirk. "I'm oddly excited to see where it can go."

"It's not odd, it's sweet," Caroline smiled as did Bonnie.

They heard a knock on the door and Bonnie stood to her feet with a raised brow and Caroline watched on when she neared the doorway.

She was suddenly nervous because it could be _anyone, _but she guessed it was one of three people who had just attended the rave; either way, she was going to have a lot to fucking say.

Bonnie twisted the knob and she let out a sigh of relief when it was Damon, staring straight back at her, and she immediately reached forward and wrapped her arms around him. Her hands met his near-jet black hair and she breathed against his chest for a moment—inhaling the sweet smell of his cologne—before she finally pulled back and kissed him. Long, hard, and _eagerly_, because it felt like forever since his lips were last against hers, though it was just this morning in his kitchen.

She finally pulled him by the hand into the condo as she looked int his eyes and noticed something—a certain coldness, almost—but she ran her hands over his cheeks anyway and exhaled as he stared straight back at her.

It was then when she realized something felt off but she wasn't quite sure what it was. It didn't feel right, the way he'd reacted but she tried not to think about it too hard, especially considering the fact that she was sure he'd had a hell of a night.

"What happened with Elena?" she asked, and his hands met his pockets, as Bonnie still cradled his jaw. "Is she okay? I-I saw your message and I texted you like crazy, but you never responded. I was worried," she confessed, and Damon looked down—trying to ignore the way the heat of her hands ignited an immediate fire within him, and her emerald eyes made him shudder, just by looking into his.

He looked behind her and noticed Caroline on the couch and his breath hitched before he cleared his throat and spoke softly, while his sister-in-law watched on.

"Caroline, do you mind giving me and Bonnie a moment?" he asked the blonde was nodding immediately though her eyes were locked in on his stare.

She was also trying to read his expression but she couldn't quite decipher it.

"Yeah, actually—do you mind bringing me home? I had _way _too much wine and I can just come back for my car tomorrow—"

"I can," he said simply and Caroline bit her lip at the flatness in his tone, but she grabbed her jacket off of the chair and slipped it on, giving Damon one last curious glance before she hugged Bonnie and whispered into her ear.

"I love you Bon."

"I love you too, Care. I won't keep him too long," Bonnie said, and Caroline nodded as she grabbed Damon's keys to go sit in the car, and she locked the front door behind her—leaving the two in a suddenly awkward and uncomfortable silence as Damon swallowed hard and Bonnie noticed the calmness in his stare, though it made her feel anything but calm.

To be quite honest, his composure right now was fucking scaring her.

"Are you okay?" she asked gently, as her hand met his cheek and she squinted her eyes, "you seem… distant," she added and he didn't respond. "Damon, tell me what's going on."

"I'm a horrible person, Bonnie," he said simply and she watched as he swallowed hard; his hand finally met hers and he gripped onto it tightly. "I'm a dick and I guess it's just finally dawning on me that I haven't changed, as a person. If anything, I'm still the same old me. The same selfish, conniving, inconsiderate asshole that doesn't give a damn about the means, so long as I get what I want in the end. I've always only cared about how I felt and what I wanted and I just… have failed everybody else—the people that I claim to care about—so miserably."

Bonnie frowned as she shook her head and placed both hands on his face as he looked at her directly, though he was struggling to. He felt sick and undeserving of even looking at something as beautiful as she was; someone who had been pure with good intentions until he tainted her. Until he _changed _her.

"You haven't failed me, Damon. And I sometimes wish you could see yourself in my eyes because there's just so much about you that surprises me, every day. Even after thinking that I knew you for thirty years," she said and he ticked his jaw but listened on. "And I might never find the right words to describe it—to explain how much you mean to me—but just know that I… can't imagine what my life would be like without you."

"It would be better," he said and her brows furrowed at that. "You would be better off, Bonnie. I know that you would."

"Where is this coming from?" She asked and he bit his lip and looked to the ground. "I feel like something's wrong and you don't want to tell me so you're leading with this talk about me being better off without you but you know it's not true. _I know_ it's not true… Did… Elena tell Enzo about us? How did she even know?" she asked, immediately fearing that was the bombshell Damon was going to drop as she pressed her lips and worry filled her eyes. "I-I can't say I blame if she did tell, but I wanted to talk to him, and her, on my own—"

"She said she saw us. I… put two and two together and figured it was probably the night she was supposed to come here after her shift but you said she never showed up. I'm guessing she did, we were just… too preoccupied," he said bitingly and Bonnie immediately remembered, as her heart sunk. "But she's not going to tell Enzo," he confirmed and her brow lifted at. "She doesn't want anything to do with anyone of this. Or us. She wants nothing to do with me or you, Bonnie. As far as Elena is concerned we can both rot in hell, so long as I am in your life."

Bonnie exhaled a shaky breath at that and nodded, her hand slowly falling from his face as she looked into his eyes and tried to hold back tears though they were coming anyway.

"We knew that. We knew she'd be upset," she nodded while he remained quiet. "I didn't expect her to be happy for us. I knew that'd be asking a lot… I just guess that I was optimistic; I hoped I wouldn't lose her over this and I did… She's never going to speak to me ever again."

Damon licked his tongue over his teeth at that and Bonnie quickly wiped the tears that rolled down her cheeks and shrugged. There was nothing more she could do or say, then.

Elena had been one of her best friends for years; they did nearly every school activity together and had been there for one another through thick and thin, and they very rarely ever got into fights.

Bonnie had been there for her, too, through her many breakups with Damon and she understood how it must've stung, now knowing that the one person who was trying to fix your relationship was indirectly the reason why it wasn't working out. It must've been a massive blow to Elena's ego when she discovered the truth about Damon and Bonnie because Bonnie was sure it left her wondering if Damon ever really loved her at all, or if she was just a stand-in for all those years, who never really had a fighting chance but she just hadn't known it yet.

Bonnie had no idea what transpired between Damon and Elena tonight but she knew it wasn't good because he looked like hell. And instead of being relieved that the truth was finally out there and one of the two main people who deserved to know _finally knew_, he looked like he wanted to drown himself, instead.

She sat down on the couch and Damon remained standing as he watched her—just studied her—for a moment before Bonnie spoke again, holding back her tears.

"Was that it?" she asked. "What else happened Damon?"

"I told her everything, Bonnie," he said softly and she followed his eyes. "When this all happened, how it all started… When I… fell in love with you."

Bonnie looked up sharply—her eyes completely filled with shock and confusion as she stared back at him and Damon stepped in closer as his voice remained soft—timid—while she felt her heart beating so fast in her chest she wasn't entirely sure she wasn't having a heart attack.

Did he just say that he loved her? He was _in love _with her?

She could barely breathe or think straight. Because she wasn't surprised that he felt it—she knew _something _had to have kept him holding on for all those years; especially when she was going to marry somebody else. But she also didn't expect him to just come right out and say it. Not this way, and certainly not tonight, after all that had happened.

But then again, expecting Damon Salvatore to be predictable was her first mistake. Still wanting to be with him, despite how _unpredictable _he was, was her second.

He inhaled deeply and he didn't sit down as he still stared at her, flabbergasted by what he had just said, too, and Bonnie shook her head and pursed her lips before offering a response.

"Damon."

Is was all that she could say, to be honest, as she watched him take a step back and she stood up, desperate just to take his hands into her own and stop him. He stood strongly as he stared at her silently and Bonnie found his eyes though he was trying his best not to look at her.

_He was failing because she was just too damn beautiful. _

"I told her that I love you, Bonnie. That I have been in love with you for twelve years," he said and her brows scrunched when he looked down to the floor. "And it was only then that I realized I can't _possibly _love you as much as I think I do if I'm willing to put you through this—_through so much _pain—just so I can have what I want. Just so I can have _you._ Because if I loved you, I would've let you go. I would've let _this go_ a long time ago, instead of making you choose me but I'm not selfless, Bon. I've never been selfless—"

"I made that choice on _my own, _Damon, so don't you fucking dare to take that away from me," she shot back as she stood up now too, and he towered over her. "I chose this—_I chose you—_because this is what I want. _You _are what I want—"

"At what cost, Bonnie?" He asked and she watched as his eyes looked straight into hers. "First it starts with Elena and then Enzo hating you. And slowly, it spreads, like a disease, to all of our friends; my brother—Stefan? He will never forgive us. And then your family… what will your Mom and Dad think? And your Grams? About the fact that I could love you _so little _that I was willing to drag you through the mud with me? What kind of a fucking man does that make me? That doesn't make me a man at all."

"What makes you a man, Damon, is fighting for what you want. Fighting for _me_. I don't want you to make choices for me. We've never been that way, not even as friends. You're not protecting me by doing this—you're just running away because you don't want to face it. You're doing what you always do when the going gets tough and I'm not okay with that. Because I wanna fight Damon. I would fight for you because I don't care. I don't need anyone's approval. I just need _you. _I _want _you, Damon—"

"And that should matter in all of this," he agreed as she looked down and she bit her trembling lip. "I should give you what you want because you gave _me_ all that I wanted… You gave me the promise that when it came down to it you would choose me. Every time. And you have. Every time. And I appreciate that, I do, because it's all I've ever wanted. I only ever wanted you to choose me," he said with tears in his eyes as she watched her and she swallowed hard. "But I can't do this to you, Bon. How can I say that I _love you _if I only think about how you make me feel? And I don't think about how this affects _your life _and well-being?"

Bonnie's lips trembled as she took a step in forward and took his hand, but he pulled it away and shook his head as a frown crossed her face. He blinked back his tears and she wiped her own for the thousandth time tonight.

"Damon, you _are _a part of my life and my well-being. You… are the most important person in my life. And… I've never wanted to be with anyone as badly as I want to be with you," she said softly and this time he allowed her hand to touch his—her fingers trailed slow circles against his palm and the up his arm, until finally she was able to smooth both hands up his chest and landed them against his neck. "Please, don't go."

He exhaled as each hair on his skin stood on end and she drew his face in closer—_so close_—to hers, that he could feel the tiny expels of breath as they escaped her lips landing onto his. He had to fight against the dizzying intoxication he felt just by being within her proximity because in this moment, he wanted nothing more than to say _fuck it_ and forget how much he had the potential to hurt her.

He wanted to pin her down to her bed for the rest of the night, until she was screaming his name and he was coming into every single crevice inside of her, over and over again, for as long as she wanted him to. He wanted to do whatever she asked him to do to her and then some.

He wanted to decorate her with his kisses. He wanted to adorn her with his affection. He truly yearned to grab each and every inch of her body, as he felt his hands mindlessly slide down to her legs as he pulled her in tighter and Bonnie's breath quickened while she stared him directly in the eyes.

He wanted her to know the weight behind his words—_just how much he loved her—_and he very well could show her right now, as he felt Bonnie immediately tense beneath his touch when he involuntarily continued by placing a hand on her hip and snapping his eyes shut.

Just breathing in the smell of her was driving him insane and the feeling of her hands dancing on his t-shirt—she could tear it in two and he wouldn't mind. She could tear _him _in two and he'd probably be pathetic enough to thank her, because being around her put him under a spell. He was bewitched by her—he'd known it the moment he walked into her condo tonight and long before that as well.

Damon allowed his other senses to take over for a moment as his eyes still remained shut; the touch of her body beneath his hands, the sound of her heart pounding as she pressed against his chest, the smell of her arousal as he ached to rip open her jeans, and finally the taste of her Sangria stained tongue, as she pulled him in for a kiss and her lips landed slowly but _hungrily _against his in a searing kiss that jolted every nerve-ending inside of his body. Bonnie pulled him in tighter and wrapped her arms entirely around his shoulders and whispered softly against his lips.

"_Please stay."_

He was full-on making out with her, within seconds, as his back landed against the wall and he probably would've cared about the possible concussion he got when he smacked into the wall any other day but right now, he was greedily lapping up every drop from her mouth, as Bonnie ripped his arms out of his jacket and kissed him so feverishly, he was sure he was about to explode just off of this alone.

But he needed this stop.

Damon tore his mouth away from hers and Bonnie breathed heavily as she watched him shake his head. He couldn't back up any further because he was against the wall so he walked past her and towards the door as Bonnie's hand smoothed against her neck.

She was flustered and eyeing him desperately as he was two seconds away from walking out the door.

_And seemingly her life. _

"If you walk away, Damon, I'm not coming after you," she said firmly and he stopped in his tracks, still faced towards the door, without turning back to look into her eyes. "I mean it. If you're done, then we are _done_. As friends, as everything else… I'm not Elena, you won't get another chance from me," she added pressing her lips shut to stop herself from crying.

Damon spun around at that and his eyes were glossy but he didn't say a word as Bonnie watched him, silently.

The quiet was so deafening you could hear a pin drop. She felt like she was going to throw up.

He moved in towards her and her breath stopped as he leaned down and grabbed his leather jacket off of the floor. Bonnie remained frozen when they stood just a hair away from one another, again, and he brushed his fingers lightly against her jaw before letting them drop to his side.

She felt a chill run up her spine, though she was somehow how burning up on the inside at the exact same time.

"I know… You're nothing like her. I knew that you wouldn't be," he said and Bonnie felt herself hyperventilating as she watched him walk out the door, the sound of it slamming echoing in her ears.

She took in a deep breath and wiped her eyes, but the tears just kept flowing, like a damn waterfall.

And the only thing she could think—the only thing she couldn't get out of her head—was the fact that maybe she loved him too.

And she probably should have said something about it.

A/N: hey y'all! So I apologize in advance if anyone hates me for this chapter lmao. But this story in Damon's characterization has moooostly revolves around his selfishness and how he's willing to have Bonnie at any cost. Perhaps even if it's a detriment to herself and I felt like it was time to address that. He loves her very, very much but Elena's words hurt him and made him rethink his actions (rightfully so). Thoughts on whether or not he did the right thing? And is Bonnie REALLY done with him? R/R and as always thank you sooooo very much for reading. It means the world! Xoxo


	6. Chapter 6

**Won't Go Home Without You**

"I'm just gonna come right out and say it—I think you're an idiot. And it pains me to say it because I always thought Stefan was the dumb one in the group. But it's you, Damon. You are a certified _dumbass._ What the hell were you thinking?"

Damon sighed at that as he leaned on the bar and poured himself another shot, before quickly taking it down and looking up to meet the pair of baffled blue-grey eyes ahead of him.

"I wasn't thinking at all—"

"_Clearly."_

"You know Ric, I really couldn't _wait_ to vent to someone about all of this, just to be called brain-damaged," Damon shot back and Alaric shook his head as he poured a shot as well into his glass and took it back, licking his lips when it was done.

"Listen, I'm really honored that you chose me to come clean to, about all of this shit that's been going on with Bonnie. But I have to ask… why haven't you talked to your brother yet?"

"Saint Stefan? The most judgmental person you and I both know? No thanks. He's made it clear that he wouldn't be supportive of anything between Bonnie and I because of his friendship with Enzo and fine, I get it— "

"Damon don't make excuses for him, you're his brother. I love Enzo too but if it came down to it, I know whose back I'd have in a heartbeat. And it seems like he's forgotten that you were supportive of him finally coming to terms with his feelings for Caroline in college, even when she was seeing me," Alaric reminded, and Damon suddenly remembered how that situation went down.

Caroline started to have feelings for Stefan when he was with his then-girlfriend, Katherine Pierce, and she started to date other people to move on from it; most notably Alaric, for a short stint while they attended Whitmore. When Stefan finally dumped Katherine and came to terms with the fact that he did like Caroline, she was no longer single or waiting for him and they all agreed that if it weren't for her relationship with Ric, he might've never opened his mouth, and let his now wife slip right through his hands.

"Granted, Caroline and I ended things amicably and there was no cheating involved and we are both way better off but… he'd be a hypocrite if he held this over your head for your entire life, especially when he's been in your shoes."

Damon sighed with a nod before Alaric continued.

"You're right."

"In either case… I am happy that you trust me that much and you know your secret is safe with me. But the fact remains that you love Bonnie. You are _in love_ with her and you just walked away—_even though she wanted you back... _I'm just struggling to comprehend how any of that makes sense. This isn't what either of you wanted."

Damon sighed because he couldn't even comprehend it himself.

It been two weeks since the rave and the night when he stopped by Bonnie's place to end things and he couldn't rid himself of the feeling that he made a huge mistake calling it all off with her, despite it not being anything close to what he truly wanted. Especially because it was painstakingly clear that Bonnie was all in on this but he suddenly wasn't, the second he came to terms with the fact that he was a bad person.

He'd called her the following day to apologize—_to at least ask to be friends__ again_—but Bonnie didn't budge, and he knew she wouldn't. Her stubbornness was one of the reasons he was so attracted to her. The girl knew what she did and didn't want. And right now, she didn't want any contact with him. In fact, she blocked his number, as every call since then went straight to her voicemail and he continued to leave messages until her mailbox was full.

And now here he was at the Grill, because he needed to talk to _someone _about it and he figured Caroline was a no-go, as his sister-in-law made it clear she was Team Bonnie on this one and just as pissed off as she was with him. Maybe even more so, and Caroline was sometimes the scariest person on the planet when she was mad. _Especially _when it came to defending her friends.

So, he called up Alaric and decided to finally come clean because why not at this point? He had already been suspicious that something was going on after he witnessed that argument between him and Elena, so he figured he had nothing left to lose at this point by finally being honest about what had actually happened. He and Bonnie weren't much of anything anymore, not even _acquaintances_, and it wasn't like he expected anyone to be on his side—he knew what he did was stupid—but he just needed someone to talk to about it. And who better than Alaric, considering he wasn't Stefan or Enzo and he probably wouldn't punch him in the face, but instead talk him off of this ledge he'd found himself on, all because he let Elena's reaction to the news get to him.

Honestly? Maybe he _was_ dumber than Stefan was.

Damon slid another large bill on the counter and the bartender, Sophie, wordlessly gifted them with another bottle of whiskey as she went to tend to the other patrons and he smiled bitterly, pouring another round of shots as Alaric still awaited a response.

He needed to be really, really drunk to understand this.

"Elena said I couldn't be in love with Bonnie because of all of the shit I was ready to put her through, just to be with me," he said, and Alaric lifted a brow at that as Damon continued. "And she has a point, right? I dated her for a third of my life, wasted her time, made her think that I still loved her when I moved on mentally— "

"So, let me get this straight— you listened to Elena; who you just confessed to not having feelings for anymore, despite the fact that you dated her for a decade, because you were into her best friend? You realize her view on this wouldn't be anything but vindictive, shallow-minded, and spiteful, right?"

Damon shrugged and Alaric laughed humorlessly with the shake of his head.

"Dude."

"You don't think she manipulated me, do you?" Damon asked and Alaric smirked with a knowing look on his face while Damon furrowed his brows. "That's impossible. You didn't see it. She was upset and hyperventilating. And _all tears_— "

"Because she doesn't want you to be happy after what you put her through, Damon, and rightfully so… But if Elena was as miserable as I remember that she was with you, she had the option to leave as well. Maybe you shouldn't have taken her back. Maybe you shouldn't have chased her. But you both knew what you were doing in my opinion. You used her as a crux, and she thought you'd have no choice but to marry her because of your history… but that's not how love works. It shouldn't be how it works, anyway."

Damon ticked his jaw at that, and Alaric sat up straighter as he shook his head.

"I'm not saying you're not at fault because you are. You're an asshole. But this is her revenge fantasy. She wanted you to second-guess yourself when it came to Bonnie and it worked. Congratulations, you just let your ex-girlfriend who _despises_ you weigh in on your current love life and torch it to pieces."

Damon sat back at that and placed both hands to his temples as he really thought back on that night and how devastated she had been when he told her that he was in love with Bonnie. She drew him in by flirting with Enzo in front of him, knowing that he'd be quick to step up and stop her because of Bonnie. He followed her in his car for 10 minutes after she lured him away from the rave, seemingly high and drunk on whatever the hell she had consumed that night, but by the time he got to her house, she was stone-faced and completely coherent; not a tear in sight, as she made it into her home all by herself.

Could it be that she _really _just tried to make him feel as shitty as possible about all of this for _retribution? _

"She wouldn't do that to Bonnie, Ric. I know her."

"She wasn't doing to Bonnie. She was doing this to _you. _Sounds like Elena 101, since we were kids, Damon. She overreacted and you fell for it. You fell _right _into the trap." Damon ticked his jaw at that, and Alaric sat up straighter well he folded his hands and looked deep into his eyes. "The question is, what are you gonna do about it?"

"What do you mean? I missed my shot and Bonnie does _not _give second ones. She's not even answering my calls."

"Looks like you're gonna have to try a _little_ harder then," Alaric said, and Damon ticked his jaw. "I'm talking possibly a skywriter. I know a guy."

"She doesn't want me anymore, Ric. She fucking hates me, actually. And she made herself clear when she said if I walked away there was no going back."

"No, the problem is that she _does _want you—and _you_ broke her heart because you let your ex-girlfriend guilt-trip you… Look, I know you think you're a shitty person because of all of this. And you probably are, there's a good argument to be made about the fact that you slept with one of your best friend's fiancés the night before their wedding and you still haven't told him about it."

"There's no point anymore. Bonnie and I are through— "

"Do you honestly believe that?" Alaric asked and Damon exhaled without a response because even though he _felt_ like he and Bonnie were done, it certainly wasn't what he wanted, and he fucking hated the fact that he had been so damn impulsive. "Look, you know Bonnie better than I do—_in plenty of ways that I now know I never needed to hear about—_but she's been my friend for years, too. And we work together. And for as _angry _as she is with you right now, you know that she doesn't give up on the people that she loves. Especially if they make an earnest and honest effort to right what they did wrong."

Damon swallowed hard at that, his finger dragging along the rim of the shot glass as he looked away and lowered his voice in a serious tone.

"Even if I make it right, and she does accept my apology… she doesn't love me, Ric. I told her that I loved _her. _That I have for twelve years and… she didn't say it back."

"Why do you need to hear the words if you know the truth? She's so heartbroken because it took just _one_ bad reaction to send you running for the hills, even though you promised her more than that. She deserved better than that… She left Enzo at an altar for you… she was willing to lose a friend and endure the ridiculous commentary and unwarranted judgment from everyone in this dumbass town just to be with _you. _And _that_ means that she loves you, Damon. Not just saying the words but actually _proving them _with your actions… Just like you've done for her. You've loved her for twelve years—your actions have always shown that; I've _always _seen that, so screw Elena. Screw what everyone thinks at this point. You never needed to leave her to prove it. And I know you think you did it out of selflessness, but you didn't. You did it out of cowardice and self-preservation. And _that's _the last thing you should want for her—to fall in love with a fucking _coward_."

Damon's hands tightened and his jaw clenched as he reached Alaric's eyes—the sincerity in them was shining through and he let out a deep sigh because he knew what he was saying was the truth. Bonnie didn't deserve better than _him; _she deserved better than this _version _of him who was way too scared to just take the plunge and be _all in_ on this, just like she proved she was. He let himself believe Elena's words because maybe he'd been secretly looking for a reason to stop this, because it still scared and unsettled him, despite how unapologetic about it he wanted to be.

_Bonnie wanted him. _

She made it clear that night and still, he threw all of that away for what? A cheap attempt at feeling he like he was doing the right and selfless thing, even though he was just breaking her heart in the process? The only thing he wanted more than to be able to take back all that he had said to her was wishing he had spoken to Alaric about this sooner—it seemed like he would've been able to knock some sense into him since day one.

Damon's foot tapped against the ground and he finally looked up with an even expression though he was bursting at the seams.

He had been, since he last saw her.

"What do you suggest I do? A la, grand gestures and what not," Damon said, and Alaric smiled as he sat up, folding his hands. "She hates sky writers; thinks they're stupid."

"What _does_ she like, besides having sex with you? Lord knows we can fast-forward past that part this time," Alaric said, and Damon smirked as his friend continued on. "She loves Christmas, doesn't she?''

"It's her favorite holiday. She lives for Christmas."

"Get her a gift, obviously… something deep and meaningful… doesn't hurt if it's expensive," Alaric replied before licking his lips.

"Of course, that's a given. But what do I before then? Christmas is a week away."

"There's… this thing I'm tempted to tell you about, but only if you promise you'll be chill if I take you."

"I'm honing in on my best behavior skills, as we speak."

"The Winter Gala at Whitmore is tomorrow. Come with me to it. Jo's on call and can't make it," Alaric said as Damon bit his lip and listened on. "All us professors get together with the dean and rich alumni to schmooze for a few hours, and honestly it's boring as hell but the food's good and there's an open bar… Maybe you should show up—try to plead your case with Bonnie there. She's less likely to murder you if she's in front of a bunch of colleagues and bosses."

Damon thought about it for a moment and before he could think about a reason _not _to ruin Bonnie's night by going, he stopped himself and nodded his head in agreement as Alaric smiled and filled up their shot glasses for one more.

"She's probably going to cut my spleen out when she sees me… but she's worth it, right?"

"She is indeed," Alaric replied as they picked up their glasses and he met his eyes. "I know that I try to keep my praise of you to a bare minimum—especially when I find out shit like this—but I know you have it in you, Damon. And so did your Dad… And so does Bonnie… she believed in you. So, don't let her down again."

Damon nodded as he took back his shot and let out an exhale when he looked into his eyes; his voice was honest and even.

"_Never again."_

And it was the first time he actually believed it; the first time that he felt like he really meant it.

XXXXX

"_Are you sure you're gonna be okay going to the gala alone tonight? Stefan's at the fire department but I can get the nanny to stay the night with the boys if you really need me." _

Bonnie sighed into the receiver at Caroline's words, as she steamed her beige gown in her living room, with her cell phone sandwiched between her ear and her shoulder.

"I'm perfectly fine going stag, Caroline—I promise. Plus, Nora will be there; she'll keep me company."

"_Is that the Women's Studies professor who wants to get in your pants?"_

"She doesn't wanna get in my pants."

"_Why not? I would if I weren't straight."_

Bonnie laughed at that and Caroline giggled on the other end of the receiver as the brunette shook her head and exhaled. If it hadn't been for Caroline's ridiculous commentary this past week and constant checking in on her, she was sure she would've lost her mind.

It'd been two weeks since she had spoken to Damon—_she specifically blocked Damon, actually—_and instead of allowing herself to wallow in defeat and self-loathing, she decided she was going to continue on with the rest of her life. That included still attending this gala at her job tonight although she was dateless, because she had previously planned on asking Damon when she got the invitation, but she never got around to it and now she was happy that she hadn't.

He'd dumped her, merely moments after telling her he was in love with her, and she decided she could no longer be emotionally invested if he was just going to jerk her around like he did to Elena, because he couldn't just go after what he wanted. It made her annoyed, actually, at the irony in the fact that he'd been so persistent about how _she _would handle this but when it came down to it, she wasn't the one that walked away. He did.

And while she still loved him—_she was trying to numb herself and her mind to the fact that she still did—_she wasn't going to let heartbreak run or ruin her life.

She was going to carry on. And Damon was going to have to live with his decision.

"As flattered as I am by that, I'm not exactly Nora's type. Judging by her ex Mary Louise I'd say she's more into blondes who are a little unhinged."

"_Oh okay, so Rebekah Mikaelson, then," _Caroline joked, and Bonnie rolled her eyes at that.

"Damon's probably already all over that," she mumbled and stopped herself shaking her head. "I'm sorry. I said I was not going to talk about him again— "

"_Bonnie, you can talk about him,"_ Caroline reassured as the brunette but her lip. _"You don't have to pretend like you're okay if you're not. I'm pissed at Damon too. And I let him hear it that night. It's like, he finally got what he wanted handed to him on a silver platter and he just— "_

"Blew it," Bonnie said softly. "And I'm not gonna chase him Caroline. I refuse to. I've got too much self respect and dignity and if Damon made this choice, he's just gonna have to live with it. He'll have to live without me."

"_I agree. You deserve the world, Bon. And though I might've believed for five seconds that he'd be the one to give that to you, it looks like Damon proved us wrong, in typical fashion… I'm just sorry you got hurt in the process."_

"I'll be fine," Bonnie swallowed hard. "That includes tonight as well, okay? But thank you, for checking in—for being a friend throughout this entire process."

"_Always, Bon… Speaking of friends… have you heard from Elena?"_

"Nope," Bonnie shook her head and she heard an audible frown on the other line before she continued. "I even stopped by her place yesterday when Jo told me her shift ended and she just never showed up. She's avoiding me. Have you heard from her?"

"_Yeah, actually," _Caroline eased, and Bonnie stopped steaming as she listened to the blonde on the line. _"She's having a New Years Party at her place in a few weeks and she… stopped by to invite me. She said everyone was going." _Bonnie ticked her jaw at that, and she heard Caroline exhale a deep breath. _"But I'm not going unless she invites you, too, Bon— "_

"I don't expect to be invited and I don't expect for you _not _to go, just because I can't," she said running her fingers over her dress. "You guys are friends too. You have been, forever, and I don't want you to choose me over her. Besides, it'll be fun, I'm sure," she nodded, feeling a sudden wave of sadness wash over her.

For years, she, Caroline, and Elena had spent New Years Eve together; it was Elena's favorite holiday, and since they were teens they would get dressed up in their favorite outfits just to party with each other in the living room, with snacks, music, and a bottle of champagne when Mrs. Gilbert made sure Elena's dad had fallen asleep. They kept the tradition up for years to follow, even though they were now adults, though they slowly expanded the invitation list to include their group of friends and they always had a wonderful time.

She now had to accept that this year would be a little different. And a lot lonelier.

"_Bonnie— "_

Before Caroline could continue, she heard a knock on her front door, and she lifted a brow as she spun around and approached it.

"Hey Care, can I call you later after the gala? Someone's here."

"_Of course. Let me know how it all goes. Maybe it's Elena—she finally came to her senses."_

"I highly doubt that. Probably just the Fed-ex guy. Talk to you later," Bonnie said before she hung up and her hand twisted at the knob to reveal a dark-haired man beyond the threshold, staring her with an uneasy smile.

It was safe to say it was not Elena, but he also wasn't the delivery man.

"Hi Bonnie," Enzo said gently, and she tucked a strand behind her ear as she looked into his dark brown eyes.

"Hey," she said softly, "what are you doing here?"

"I brought you something—your check, from the sale of the house," he held up the envelope and she remained silent. "I know you said I could put it in the mail, but I figured we were due for a chat. Do you mind if I come in?"

"Um, yeah sure," she nodded as she stepped aside and allowed him the space to walk in.

She watched him carefully as his eyes roamed the décor of the condo and he spun around to meet her. Her arms folded over her chest when she realized she was just in her robe and he cleared his throat uncomfortably when he realized it as well.

"I'm regretful I caught you at a bad time…"

"It's fine. Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee?"

"I'm fine," he said, and Bonnie's lips pressed shut as they just stood there looking at one another for a moment before he cleared his throat and spoke again. "How've you been?"

"I'm okay… You?" she asked airily, and he offered a tight smile before his response.

"I've been okay too, I suppose… Your, uh, new place is nice. You've done a great job with it."

"Thank you, yeah. I finally finished decorating and everything this past week."

"Just in time for Christmas."

"Of course."

Another long pause floated between them before she motioned to the couch and they sat down beside one another. Enzo bit his lip as he looked down before finally finding her eyes again, with a piercing stare.

"So, here it is," he held up the envelope with the check. "The lawyer split everything up evenly and said if you have any questions to just call or stop by."

He handed the check over to her and Bonnie nodded as she took it into her hand and placed it on the table. That was it. A piece of paper was all that they had left to show for three years. When Enzo texted her a few weeks ago that he was going to put their house up for sale because he'd found a new loft on the other side of Mystic Falls, she could say nothing other than she agreed that it was probably for the best, considering all the history they had there.

She'd been able to escape it by moving into a shiny new place downtown, but he hadn't. And he figured it was finally time to move on and let it go. Neither one of them expected the place to sell in just days. But maybe that was the universe's doing.

Her foot involuntarily tapped on the ground before she flashed him a soft smile.

"Thank you for… making this as easy as possible. This part of it anyway."

"You don't have to thank me. I figured I owed you that much. I'm… sorry I've been dodging your calls and text messages lately. I was upset," he said honestly, and she ticked her jaw. "It was hard to hear about you finding someone new while I was just… barely holding it together. I just needed some time to process it all— "

"I understand. And I don't expect you to forgive me, Enzo. What I did… how I've gone about things has been awful and I know you deserved better. You still do. And I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I'm really sorry that I hurt you."

"I'll bounce back eventually," he said as he looked into her eyes and she felt a lump forming in her throat. "But I'd like it if we could be friends, eventually. Perhaps one day."

Bonnie exhaled at that and shook her head.

"I think you deserve better friends than me. Especially when I—" she stopped and she shut her eyes for a moment as she felt her hands suddenly trembling at what she wanted to say—what she _needed to say_—because she'd held onto this truth for far too long.

He deserved to know about she and Damon, once and for all, even if there was technically no she and Damon anymore. He deserved to know the real reason why she left—_the real reason why even looking at him now made her feel nothing, aside from pain, nausea, and regret. _Because it hurt her that she hurt him; she felt sick to her stomach about what she had done, and she wished she could go back and change things but at this point she couldn't. She couldn't change the fact that she didn't love him in the way that he loved her.

_And she surely couldn't escape the fact that the man that she did love walked away, like it was so easy to him, even though Enzo never left. Even when he should've. _

She reopened her eyes when she felt Enzo's hands against hers, rubbing them softly with his thumb and a look of concern crossed his face as he stared at her, awaiting her next words.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and she shook her head no and he moved in a bit closer, as his brows scrunched together. "Bonnie… if this is about Elena— "

"Elena?" She asked and her heart began to race. "Why would this be about Elena?"

"I'm sure Damon told you about guy's night… how we all ended up at a rave…"

"Briefly."

"I… got pretty drunk. Took one of those stupid little pills, which in retrospect was a bad move. I just can't hang like I used to—I was hungover for 3 days, at least, but… we saw Elena there. We talked. She asked me to dance," he said as Bonnie licked her teeth but remained quiet. "I mean, it was supposed to be innocent enough. We were just having fun. But in the moment… it started to get a little too… It didn't look the best, I guess. And Damon came over and stopped it, right before she almost… kissed me. And I'm sorry about it. I am, because she's your friend and it's not my intention to make a fool out of you, you know. And Elena, I'm sure she didn't mean it either."

Of course, she didn't, Bonnie thought but put it out of her mind as she nodded her head.

"I appreciate that," she said as she watched him still holding onto her hands, she slowly pulled them away as he inhaled deeply.

There was another steady pause between them until he spoke again, changing the subject.

"Beautiful dress," he said as he looked at the gown hanging across the room and Bonnie sighed. "What's the occasion?"

"The… Whitmore Winter Gala. It's tonight," she said, and he nodded in remembrance; he'd gone as her date the past two years. "Listen, we need to talk..." she said suddenly as he looked up. "About… the _guy _I was seeing— "

"No offense love, but I don't want to know anything about him," Enzo said as he stood to his feet and her olive eyes met his. "No disrespect to you and your new boyfriend but— "

"He's not… we aren't together," she eased as his eyes softened. "We… ended things," she breathed, and he blinked slowly at that.

Another long pause passed between them before he cleared his throat.

"So, you're going to the gala alone?"

"It's not a big deal, Enzo— "

"It is… Let me escort you. As friends of course," he said, and Bonnie's eyes widened at that. "Oh, come on. I know a lot of your co-workers; I could talk to them while you do your own thing. It won't be a date. Just one friend helping another, so you aren't by yourself."

"I… don't know that it's a great idea, Enzo. We… everyone kind of knows what happened at the wedding between us. When I walked out," she tugged at her lip with her teeth. "I don't want to put you through that."

"While I completely understand your sentiment, I can't agree. That dress is too beautiful for you not to show up with someone on your arm and this used to be our tradition. You can rent me, just for the night. Look at this as a fresh start for us by doing something familiar."

"Rent you?" She finally laughed and he smiled in return before she finally shrugged her shoulders because honestly at this point? What the hell. "Fine. Pick me up at 6. It starts at 7pm sharp."

Enzo gave her a nod at that before he was out the door and Bonnie exhaled when he left, before turning back to her dress and turning the steamer on.

This was going to be one hell of a night.

XXXXX

"How's my hair?"

"You've asked me five times, Damon. You're even worse than my wife."

"I just want to make sure Bonnie's not gonna be able to take her eyes off of me when she sees me," he said as his hands slid into the pockets of his black on black Ralph Lauren suit and Alaric rolled his eyes as they walked into the grand ballroom at Whitmore college—a string quartet playing soft music in the background, and a decently sized crowd gathered already, sharing stories over drinks and appetizers as waiters tray-passed champagne and hors d'oeuvres to the guests in attendance.

Damon had to admit, this was fancier than he was expecting, as his eyes glazed over the winter themed decorations that were probably curated by Bonnie herself, as every single detail was perfectly in place.

He followed Alaric to the bar, and he ordered a ginger ale, which caused his friends eyes to bug immediately when the bartender slid him his whiskey and he watched Damon immediately nursing the soda in his hand.

"No alcohol tonight?"

"Yeah, if I want this to be a suicide mission… We saw what happened the last time I got drunk and had a talk with Bonnie. I accidentally broke up with her."

"Good point. You're driving home then," Alaric smiled, and Damon rolled his eyes as his friend took a sip of his drink and looked at his watch.

Before Damon could make a snide comment in return, he was positive he looked up and saw an _angel_ in the form of Bonnie Bennett. His mouth suddenly went dry as he watched her walk into the ballroom; her beige gown flowing to the ground and her jet black hair styled in loose waves, as her thick black lashes seemed to go on forever and her lips were painted with a deep red matte lipstick he faintly remembered staining his lips, one night at the boarding house when he convinced her to spend the night.

He went to take a step forward but stopped when he saw Bonnie turn around to wait for someone and within a millisecond, _Enzo_ was at her side, smiling as he walked in beside her and Damon suddenly felt a mixture of queasiness and _rage_ though he was doing his best not to show it. Especially when Bonnie and Enzo spotted him from across the floor and the man waved while she just _stood there_, awe-stricken and confused about the fact that he was even there in the first place.

Damon watched as Bonnie said something to Enzo quickly before walking off and Enzo began to walk over, smile still on his face, until he made it to the bar and greeted him and Alaric before ordering a drink for himself and Bonnie.

Damon glanced at Alaric who shot him his best _be cool _glance and he unclenched his jaw long enough to smile back in Enzo's direction.

_What the hell was he doing here? _

"Small world," Enzo said with a smirk as he eyed them both, placing his hands in the pockets of his black tux. "Are you Ric's date?" he directed at Damon and he swallowed hard with a nod before sipping his drink.

"Jo couldn't get off work. I'm just filling in."

"Fantastic."

"You're here with Bonnie?" Alaric asked bluntly and Enzo shrugged with a grin as he eyed them both.

"It sort of just happened. We're here as friends, of course. But rumor has it she and her boyfriend broke up," he said, and Damon's eyes narrowed but he remained silent. "I wonder if the unlucky bastard will be here tonight. I'd love to meet him."

"Wouldn't we all," Damon said sarcastically, and Alaric immediately interrupted as he placed a hand on Enzo's shoulder and smiled as he pulled him in closer.

"Hey, buddy—you never told me about the new exhibit at the museum. Jo has been dying to stop by with the girls, make a day out of it."

"I would love that," Enzo said as he grabbed the drinks he ordered. "We'll talk after I get this to Bonnie— "

"Damon can do that. Right Damon?" Alaric asked and Damon swallowed hard as he met his glaring blue eyes and Alaric took the drink out of Enzo's hand and gave it to him. "I just really gotta know about this exhibit. For Jo," he smiled brightly.

Enzo laughed and continued as Damon walked away swiftly with Bonnie's cosmopolitan in hand. He squeezed through the crowd and he felt the eyes of more than a few women roam over him salaciously though his stare was focused on only _one person. _

He stopped when he saw her, talking to Nora Hildegard— he remembered meeting her a few times in the past for Happy Hour with Bonnie's co-workers—and he had to take a moment to catch his breath when he _really _got a look at her.

She looked beautiful. He knew that she would, as her waves cascaded down her naked back, and the thin spaghetti straps from the gown were delicately placed at her shoulders, as the dress hugged her frame all the way down to the floor. There was an aura around her—dazzling, intoxicating, _mystifying_, as she talked, and he had to work up the nerve just to take another step towards her because he knew that he didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to even be _breathing _the same air that she did after what he had pulled, but he hoped a sincere and _sober _apology would change her mind.

Bonnie was probably the most headstrong person that he knew. And when she put her mind to something—_like avoiding the hell out of him_—she generally succeeded. It was going to take a lot to change her mind and a pretty large gesture—he was still working on that part—but he hoped for at least tonight, she could hear him out.

_And also, possibly explain what the hell she was doing here with her ex-fiancé, of all people. _

He inhaled and gathered every ounce of bravery he had left and walked towards her—his eyes piercing through her—and she finally noticed him, as her brows furrowed and he was before her, before she could say a word, handing her a drink with a soft expression on his face though he was quietly losing his shit.

On the inside, his nerves were wreaking havoc on him.

"A cosmopolitan, as ordered," he said, and Nora flashed him a smile before leaning in for a hug while Bonnie stood there silent all the while.

"Oh my god Damon, it's been forever. We miss you at Happy Hour!"

"I'm usually working during Happy Hour," he smiled, and Nora nodded in understanding. "How have you been?"

"Great! I was just telling Bonnie we should all get together for the New Year if you two don't have plans. Dinner and everything, it's going to be amazing," she said.

"Damon will be busy," Bonnie said flatly, and Damon laughed dryly before he responded.

"How would you know? You've stopped taking my phone calls."

"Because you're a dick."

Nora glanced between him and Bonnie and noticed an air of awkwardness instantly as they weren't even looking each other in the eyes and Bonnie suddenly looked pissed off beyond imagination.

"This… seems like a private matter. I'm gonna go to the bar for a refill," she flashed them both an uneasy smile before holding up her empty martini glass and scurrying off as Bonnie turned to walk away as well and Damon grabbed her arm and lowered his tone.

"Bonnie, can we talk?"

"No," she said immediately, and his eyes finally met hers—her green ones filled with fury though she was speaking calmly and evenly. "Is it not enough that you're crashing my work party, but you need to _talk to me_ here too? I blocked your number for a reason, Damon."

"I'm here to apologize," he said, and Bonnie rolled her eyes. "I know that I hurt you and it was unexpected and I'm sorry about that… I… shouldn't have left. I should've stayed— "

"Yeah, Damon, you should've. Because I made myself _perfectly clear _when I said that I was _done _if you walked away and I am. I'm still done with you."

He felt his chest tighten at that and Bonnie's eyes remained stone cold as he investigated them and he ticked his jaw as he looked to the ground and finally back up at her.

"Is that why you're here with Enzo? We're through, so you're backsliding with your ex-fiancé?"

"Don't give me the jealous boyfriend bullshit, Damon. I mean it," she shot back, and he pressed his lips shut. "We're friends. He's here as my _friend. _Something that _you _used to be until _you _decided this. _Not me_. So, you need to live with it."

"How could I live with this if I can't live without _you?"_

"You'll figure it out. There are plenty of beautiful unsuspecting women here you can rebound with," she snapped, and he scoffed when he took step in ever closer and lowered his voice.

"I'm not the one rebounding Bonnie, you are. And you fucking know it."

Bonnie didn't have a chance to respond as Enzo walked over, and they both straightened up when he appeared besides Bonnie and casually placed his hand around her waist. Bonnie pursed her lips and Enzo turned to face her with a gentle tone as Damon's eyes remained fixed at his hand touching her hip.

This guy really had the fucking nerve.

"The dean has been asking about you. He's over there," Enzo nodded across the room and Bonnie smiled uneasily when she met his eyes. "Do you want to head over?"

"Sure, in a minute. Damon and I are just catching up."

Enzo nodded as he walked off and Damon's brows scrunched as he looked into her eyes and she remained stoic though she was bursting at the seams.

"Just friends? Does he know that?"

"Fuck you, Damon. Please, feel free to leave whenever you're ready. That's what you're best at anyway."

She shouldered him out the way and walked off at that while he breathed heavily as he watched her make her way across the room and paint on another smile, though if he knew Bonnie he knew this was killing her just as much as it was killing him.

Or at least he hoped it was. Otherwise, he had lost before he had even begun.

XXXXX

Damon watched from the bar, another ginger ale in hand, as Bonnie and Enzo took to the dance floor during a slow waltz that started. His eyes had been laser focused on her for about an hour and she didn't look in his direction once, as she mingled around the room with Enzo at her side and now she was in arms, as Damon was just about ready to crush the glass he was holding, the longer he became lost in his thoughts.

He remembered the night before the wedding, when they danced to her wedding song, because she was nervous about it. So, he put on the track, extended a hand and got her to slow dance with him for what would be the first time since her senior prom, right there in the boarding house living room.

The lights were low and they were both drunk but that didn't seem to matter as they swayed and he remembered Bonnie's laugh as he spun her around before she landed in his arms and gave him a huge hug that engulfed him entirely as the song faded out and he felt her warm breath on his shoulder as she just stood there, content and comfortable within his arms.

When she pulled away, his fingers softly met his mother's necklace that she had come there for as it lay perfectly on her chest and Bonnie looked up at him quietly when his hand dropped away from the pendant and he offered her a smile.

"_It looks great on you."_

He remembered she thanked him; suddenly flustered as they stood less a hair apart and he tucked a strand behind her ear while she still looked at him madly; like she didn't know what could happen.

But she was ready for it.

_She was ready for him. _

Their first kiss was a few minutes later. Soft, sweet, and _burning, _as they sat at the grand piano in his living room and she asked Damon to play her a song—to distract from the undeniable heat she felt towards him after they danced and she stared into his eyes for what felt like the first time in her life.

The piano playing didn't help, because he was actually _good, _and she was surprised because in all their years of friendship he never played it for her. She didn't even know that this piano was here for anything other than show.

Damon itched with remembrance as his muscle memory reminded him of the exact key his finger had pressed to when looked up and saw Bonnie staring at him—enamored by him— and he decided this was his chance. He wanted to kiss her. He needed to, for he might never have a chance to do this again and he needed her to know how he felt about her all these years.

He wanted her to know that he was the one for her. And he always would be; she was his soulmate.

Damon looked up again across the ballroom and he mindlessly listened on to Alaric's conversation with Nora behind him, before he silently walked away and they both eyed each other as Damon made a direct descent for Bonnie while she was still dancing with Enzo.

When he approached her, she remained rigid but he didn't let it deter him as he looked into her eyes sharply though he was speaking to Enzo.

"Do you mind if I cut in?"

Enough was enough of this shit.

"She's all yours, mate," Enzo said with a release of Bonnie's hand as he turned to Bonnie with a smile, "I'll see you in a bit, love."

"Sure," she said with a nod as they watched him walk off.

Bonnie stared at Damon and he extended his hand towards her silently, as his big blue eyes seemed to stare straight through her though she didn't look away.

Without a word she took his invitation and their palms met, as his other hand slid onto her back and she gulped at the feeling of his skin on hers though she fought hard against any goosebumps as they moved in silence.

Their steps were in sync, just as they had always been, and Damon had to remind himself to breath, when he looked down into her eyes and saw she was looking straight back at him, though her glare hadn't softened in the least and he knew more words fueled with venom lay behind her tongue, though she was holding them in for the sake of her professional career.

He twirled her around and Bonnie bit her lip when her back pressed to his chest and he leaned down softly and spoke into her ear as she stared straight ahead.

"I'm sorry," he said gently, and she listened on, as his hands met her sides before he spun her back around. "I'm sorry that I hurt you," he replied, and she didn't respond as he followed her eyes that shot him a look like daggers. "If we can talk—if you'll please talk to me—I would be forever grateful. Just one conversation, Bon. That's all I ask. I'm not trying to justify myself. I just… need you know how sorry I am. Okay?"

Bonnie took a staggered breath at that but reluctantly nodded as she looked across the room and saw Enzo was pre-occupied in a conversation with a few of her co-workers. Hopefully he'd be there a while.

"Let's go," she said simply as she took his hand and Damon's stomach did backflips as they exited the ballroom and slipped out a door in the back to the outdoor terrace.

The night was beautifully illuminated by the stars, and the sound of the string quartet and conversations faded to nothing more than white noise, as they stood face to face and Damon slipped off his jacket and placed it over her shoulders when he watched the crisp air expelled from her mouth.

Bonnie didn't say a word but tightened it around herself. And Damon finally spoke.

"You were right," he said, and Bonnie remained silent as his blue eyes looked straight into hers, without blinking or turning away. "I shouldn't have walked away from you. It was stupid and impulsive, and I thought I was doing the right thing—I thought it'd be best for you if I walked away but it wasn't. I was a coward; a fucking spineless coward. And you deserved better than that, Bonnie. You deserved so much more."

Bonnie's lips were still pressed shut and her face remained imperturbable as she stared at him quietly. He took that as his cue that she was still listening, and he was just grateful she hadn't strangled him with his tie right now though he was sure he deserved it. He didn't deserve to be in her presence.

"I made a lot of promises that I broke that night when I left," he said as she folded her arms over her chest. "And I'll never forgive myself for that; it'll weigh on my conscious forever that I walked away—that I let the woman that I love go—but just know whether you decide to speak to me or not, it won't happen again. I… won't let you down ever again."

Bonnie licked her teeth at that as she followed his eyes and finally opened her mouth to talk.

Her voice was hollow as she addressed him, but her eyes held something more behind them as she tried not to let it filter into her voice.

She nearly succeeded, with a shaky but steady tone.

"I don't know if I can believe that, Damon," she shook her head, finding his stare. "I used to believe that; I believed you were the one person who never would've left me, no matter what was happening. I believed you'd always just be there and maybe that's my fault, for putting you so high up on a pedestal that you couldn't live up to. Maybe I just forgot that you were human, too, sometimes," she said gently, and he tugged at his bottom lip with his teeth though he didn't say a word. "But you broke my heart, Damon. You… made me believe all these things and your words and I fell for it. I actually thought we'd have a chance and… you threw that all away, even though I asked you not to. I begged you to stay."

"I know," he said and she blinked back tears that were in her eyes and he immediately felt like the worst person on the planet because here he was, making her cry again when he only ever wanted to apologize; he just wanted her to know how much she meant to him, despite his mistake. He just wanted her to know how much he loved her, even if she couldn't love him back; even if her heart would not allow her to, ever again. "There's no excuse. I psyched myself out. I didn't think things through. I wanted to protect you from me, and I know it's not enough of an explanation but it's what I felt. I… love you so much that I thought the only way to prove that was by walking away. Because I'm damaged, Bon. I'm not well—I'm all kinds of fucked up in the head and the heart and you… You've always been better than me. You're the pinnacle of everything to me. And I'm nothing close to that; to you."

"None of that mattered to me, Damon, don't you get it? I never needed you to be someone else or somebody that you're not because I loved you," she said and his heart stopped at the words; his eyes softened even more and he watched as a tear rolled down her cheek as she quickly wiped it away and continued. "I loved you, Damon. Even though it was so hard for me to say it. Because I didn't want to. I don't want to… Especially not now, not after you left me," she added a bit more firmly and he pursed his lips. "I understand your reasons and I get it; I do. But maybe you were right. Maybe we're better off letting this go, because it hurts too damn much. Maybe we're both too fucked up to be together and happy— "

"No," he said softly as he grabbed her hands and she watched the fire and emotion that she had fallen in love with suddenly fill his eyes as he stared back at her, shaking his head. "It hurts because I screwed up, but I can make it right. I want to fix this, Bon. I need to."

"What if it's too late?"

"Then I'm a fool for having hope. But I do have hope for us," he said as his hand met her cheek and a tear rolled down her jaw. "I just… need you say that you do too. That you believe in this; in us."

Before Bonnie could respond she looked to see Enzo approaching and she swallowed hard as Damon's fingers were still cradling her cheek, while he walked over with a look of confusion on his face when he witnessed the scene.

Damon dropped his hand when he read her expression and he turned around, trying his best not to let out an audible groan when his friend walked over cutting their moment short for the second time this night. Bonnie forced a weak smile onto her lips when Enzo stood beside her; his eyes examined her with worry before he finally looked towards Damon.

Damon's thoughts were racing a mile a minute.

"Is everything okay? You look upset, Bonnie," he said, and she nodded silently.

"We're actually in the middle of something if you don't mind giving us a moment," Damon said sharply, and Enzo's brow lifted at that as he looked into his eyes and shook his head.

"She looks upset, Damon. And I'm not going to leave her alone with you if you're the one whose caused it."

Damon's jaw ticked at that and Bonnie immediately turned to face Enzo as a sudden chill developed between them. Her eyes were soft and her voice was calm though she felt anything but.

"Enzo, we're fine. Just talking through some things. You can go inside, I'll be in, in a minute."

"If he's hurt you, Bonnie, I'm not going inside," Enzo declared, looking at Damon. "Whatever he has to say to you he can say in front of me, can't he?"

Damon rolled his eyes at that as he stepped in and Enzo remained tall as they met glares.

"She doesn't need you as a bodyguard, in case you didn't get the message," he snapped, and Enzo let out a dry laugh.

"Oh, I heard her, perfectly clear. But you, my friend, should probably watch your tone when it comes to me."

"Or what?" Damon asked boldly as he stepped up, and Enzo clenched his jaw. "You'll smother me to death like you're doing with Bonnie?"

"Guys," she said through her teeth, but Enzo seemed to ignore her as he moved in closer towards Damon with a grin filtering on his lips.

"If I didn't know any better, Damon, I'd say you were jealous… of me," Enzo shot back as he tilted his head. "You always have been, haven't you? Because I was with Bonnie. That's what this is about, isn't it? You've now suddenly discovered you've got feelings for her and you actually think that you have a chance? I knew that things felt a bit off between us these past few months, but I chalked it up to the fact that you were caught in the middle of all of our drama. But there's more to it isn't there? This is what's really going on? You trying to swoop in on my ex like the bottom feeder you are?"

Damon shook his head with a laugh as he stepped in, curled fists at his side, and he looked him dead in the eyes as Enzo remained focused.

He placed a hand on his shoulder.

"This isn't the time or place, Enzo. And while I appreciate the fact that you think you know what's going on, you don't. So, you should just drop it and go inside. Have another drink. Don't stir the pot. Not tonight."

"Why not?" the man asked, shoving Damon at the chest with a renewed anger and boldness in his eyes. "We're all friends here so tell me the truth. Do you have feelings for her or not?"

"Enzo stop this now," Bonnie ordered as he turned to face her and she shook her head. "Please— "

"What about you, love? Do you have feelings for him?" He asked and suddenly her stomach tightened as he stared harshly into her eyes. "Do you feel something for Damon? Your pathetic best friend who has clearly been lusting over you for years, but was too much of a bitch to do anything about it? Here's your chance to make his day," Enzo said sarcastically, and she remained tall though if she were honest, his interrogation was making her feel a bit microscopic.

"I—"she started and suddenly realized she was tongue tied by the unexpected question as Damon stood there quietly, and their eyes met because it was finally the moment of truth.

They'd been hiding for months, specifically because of the person in front of them and now it seemed like this was it—the chance to finally be free of this burden they'd both held onto for far too long, when they both should have just been honest ages ago.

Bonnie dug her heel at the concrete and Enzo's expression changed from one of jested inquiry to quiet desperation as he tried to look in her eyes and she wouldn't look into his directly for a moment until he called her name again.

"Bonnie. You're not serious."

"Yes," she swallowed hard and his look of confusion turned to immediate devastation in seconds flat. "I… have feelings for Damon. I'm… in love with him," she said evenly though her entire body was shaking. "He's the reason I…" she stopped as she felt her stomach twisting into knots and Damon stood there quietly, with his hands at his sides as she struggled to get through it. "I cheated on you, Enzo. And I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

Enzo's eyes widened at that and he turned to face Damon whose solemn expression confirmed what she had just said. He took in a deep breath and looked at Bonnie again; her heart was suddenly pounding out of her chest when he looked into her eyes and took a slow step in.

Suddenly she was terrified, but she stood her ground as she didn't back away, she just stood there. Ready to take whatever verbal assault his mind was building because surely, he was going to have a lot to say. And maybe she deserved it.

"You fucked him?" He asked bluntly and she responded with a non-verbal nod as his eyes suddenly went dark as well as his voice. "When?"

"The… night before our wedding. We never did anything before that," she exhaled as his eyes narrowed even more. "But that's why I couldn't go through with it… Damon was the reason why I left you. I didn't love you anymore, Enzo… I'm so sorry— "

"And he's the guy you've been seeing? There never was a 'co-worker' was there? You just kept fucking Damon," he said lowly and she didn't respond as he licked his tongue slowly across his teeth. "Answer me, Bonnie, I swear to God— "

"Yes," she shot back, and his eyes deepened. "Yes, I slept with Damon and I thought it was a mistake. But a few weeks later when I saw him again and we talked about what happened I knew that I had feelings for him. And I couldn't fight against them anymore. So I— "

"Continued everything. Continued to lie about it and you avoided me because you hoped it would all go away. You thought this would all blow over."

"I didn't. I just didn't know how to tell you. And I wanted to, I did. We talked about it at length. I was ready to tell you this afternoon too. It's been killing me holding onto this Enzo— "

"Yeah I'm sure," he quipped, and she exhaled the breath she felt like she was holding in for an hour. "You said that you love him. You're in love with him," he interrupted her and Bonnie immediately felt dizzy at the revelation but she nodded and Enzo laughed humorlessly as he stepped in again towards her, until they were nose to nose and his hand grabbed her wrist. "So not only are you a fucking slut but you're also a _dumb_ one too— "

Damon immediately stepped forward as Bonnie ripped her hand out of his grip and he stepped in front of her as her eyes filled with tears.

"Don't put your hands on her, what is wrong with you?" Damon spat as Enzo's eyes glowered. "If you wanna verbally abuse someone, _put your hands on anybody, _pick that fight with me, _not_ her."

Bonnie rubbed her wrist and swallowed hard as she watched Damon's eyes that were suddenly wild with hostility as he stood between them in the slowly brimming volatile situation. She felt thankful that he was there, she realized, because even though things had never gotten physical between she and Enzo before she had to admit to herself that this wasn't the first time he'd called her out of her name in an argument. And by the look on his face, it wasn't about to be the last as he stared at Damon, enraged, though his voice stayed tranquil.

"You think I would hurt her? I would never do that," Enzo said as Damon still watched him carefully. "You know, despite how much of a little trollop she turned out to be, I wouldn't ever hurt her. But I guess that's what you like about her isn't it? Because she's easy?"

It was then that Damon saw red.

He immediately had Enzo by the shoulders as he pushed then pinned him to the ground and punched him in the face. Enzo grabbed him by the throat and kicked him in the stomach and the rest suddenly became a blur and a full out brawl, as Bonnie screamed at them both to stop it, as tears streamed down her already rosy cheeks.

He could barely hear her over the sound of his own rage.

They went blow for blow, punch for punch for what felt like _forever _before Damon felt a pair of hands yanking him off of Enzo and he recognized Alaric's voice in his ear, as he pulled him away and Nora helped Enzo off the ground, as terror filled her eyes and she held him up by the shoulder until another one of Bonnie's co-workers, Mason Lockwood, ran over to help.

There were suddenly dozens of people outside watching the scene as it unfolded, speaking in hushed whispers as Damon and Enzo both stood to their feet, bruised and bloody as Damon wiped his nose with his palm and Alaric handed him a handkerchief from his suit pocket to stop the bleeding.

Mason was pulling Enzo away as he clutched his face and Damon held onto his ribs as he watched the man escorting him through the terrace while Nora hung back and stood next to Bonnie. She had no idea what the hell was happening, but she wrapped her arms around her shoulders as Bonnie cried hysterically, trying to calm her down.

But Enzo wasn't done yet. Not before he had one final thing to say.

"Everyone, I'd like to gather your attention please," he said as he stopped in his tracks and the whispering patrons ceased conversation for a moment to listen to him hopefully explain what the hell went on, as he rubbed his bloody jaw and projected his voice. "Here's to Bonnie Bennett—this smart, loyal, beautiful woman that you've all come to know, love, and respect as a colleague… Clap it up for her, because she none of those things. In fact, she's just a lying, cheating whore. And I hope that tonight's events better persuade you to really assess her character because in my opinion? She has none. She'll never be anything more than a poor little rich girl who got by on her daddy's money and it's a shame because there was hope for her, as an Occult's professor. Because she is cunning. And she's smart. Just not smart enough to realize who she was messing with."

Enzo stormed off at that and Bonnie swallowed hard when she suddenly heard a swarm of hushed whispers and eyes landing on her from each and every direction as the crowd began to talk.

She turned around and walked away silently, sinking into her shame as Nora tried to stop her but she was already gone. Damon walked after her, followed her out into the parking lot, and she stopped him with both hands up as her eyes were heavy with tears and she shook her head.

"Please don't," she said but he was hugging her anyway and she, without hesitation, clutched onto him tightly as she instantly sobbed onto his shoulder.

Her eyes were shut, and she felt as his hand held the back of her head as she cried. She didn't even look up when Alaric and Nora found them; the man letting out a deep sigh as he fished for his keys in his pocket to take them home.

But they didn't leave. They remained like that for the next few minutes. Possibly the next hour. She wasn't sure. She just knew that she never wanted to let him go.

Especially not when she had lost so much, so fast, already.

A/N: hey y'all! So, for those of you who have been waiting for the truth to finally come out here it was, and was it as bad as you expected? Honestly it made me sad and mad even writing it, but I wanted to make it as devastating as possible for all parties involved and I'm sorry to anyone who may have been rooting for Enzo in this story. Do you still feel the same, after he onslaught on both Bonnie especially and Damon? Honestly the worst thing a man can do to a woman he loves in my opinion is assault and/or degrade her and he defffffff walked the line on the first one and FOR SURE is guilty of the second so yeah… Looks like Enzo the Good Guy is not here, any more. Also how did we feel about Alaric this chapter as well as Nora? I love Nora in canon because she was adorable but I normally dislike Alaric, so in an effort not to let my personal feelings change how I write this story I tried to make him a good ass friend who could snap Damon out of the dumb self-loathing shit he got himself into. Do you think it worked? Also, what's next for Bonnie and Damon now that everybody (AND THEY MAMA'S MAMA) knows about what they did? Only time will tell. As always thank you for reading this messy ass, dramatic ass, tragic ass story. I never said it would be a happy one lol. Xoxo and R&R! Until next time.


	7. Chapter 7

**This Love is Good, This Love is Bad, This Love is Alive, Back from the Dead**

**A/N: I originally had a very lengthy response written out for two reviewers who had negative opinions in regard to last chapter but I decided I don't care enough to go back and forth with anyone who wasn't paying attention to the details while reading. That said, here are a few reminders: **

**THERE ARE NO PERFECT CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY. CHEATING IS BAD. SO IS BEING A BELLIGERENT, ENTITLED ASSHOLE. ONE THING DOES NOT JUSTIFY THE OTHER. VERBAL ABUSE IS ABUSE. THIS STORY HAS NOT "MADE LIGHT" OF THAT BY HINTING AT THIS MANY CHAPTERS AGO AND NOW CALLING IT OUT. MORE THAN ONE PERSON CAN BE WRONG AT THE SAME TIME. GOOD PEOPLE DO BAD THINGS. NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS ARE TYPICAL HEROES. NONE ARE ONE-DIMENSIONALLY EVIL. IF YOU WANT A STORY ABOUT NICE PEOPLE MAKING GOOD CHOICES THIS ISN'T THE STORY FOR YOU. EVERYONE IS MORALLY GREY. **

**THANK YOU. **

**Here's chapter 7. **

**XXXXX**

Damon groaned and cracked one eye open as he felt the sun rays from outside suddenly beaming down on him. He opened both eyes and looked up to see his brother, who'd just finished yanking the living room curtains open staring at him with his arms folded over his chest.

Damon slowly sat up on the couch and rubbed his aching neck and head before meeting Stefan's eyes. Everything hurt; his head was pounding, his face and ribs were sore, and his knuckles were bruised, but something told him that his brother wasn't here to nurse him back to good health. In fact, the look in Stefan's eyes was impenetrable as Damon reached for his water bottle on the coffee table and took a long drink as he waited for his brother to speak.

He might as well get this shit over with, even though it was barely past nine o'clock in the morning.

"What the fuck happened last night?" Stefan asked without hesitation. "Caroline has been at Bonnie's since last night, because her friend Nora reached out to her about some _brawl_ that happened and then Ric shot me a text message an hour ago and told me to check in on you," he huffed, following his eyes. "You _fought_ Enzo?"

"I did," Damon said simply, and Stefan's brow lifted. "Do you want the long story, or will the cliff notes suffice?"

"This isn't fucking funny, Damon," Stefan shot back as he was suddenly standing before him, hands balled into tight fists at his side "He's your best friend—he's my close friend. You two have _never _had any issues. What the hell were you even fighting about anyway? And have you gone to the hospital to get yourself checked out? You could have a concussion."

"I'm fine, Stefan…Nothing a bottle of bourbon and some aspirin won't fix," Damon said, and Stefan scowled as Damon leaned back against the couch.

"You know what? I don't have time for this," Stefan said as he turned on his heel to walk away and Damon watched silently. "I have _kids_ and a _wife_, Damon. I have my own shit going on. I came all the way here to make sure you're okay and it looks like you are. So, I'll leave now," he said as he neared the door and Damon sighed as he shook his head and finally spoke.

His voice was serious enough to stop Stefan in his tracks.

"Enzo and I… got into it, over Bonnie," he confessed and Stefan's eyes widened a little bit though he remained silent as he turned around and looked into his brother's blue eyes—noting the slight discoloration from a bruise on his cheek. "He… found out that she and I had been seeing each other, for a few months and—"

"Hold the fucking phone," Stefan said as he held up his index and his brows creased as Damon inhaled slowly. "You and Bonnie? You're _dating_? _Each other?_"

"We weren't _dating, _per se. We had sex," Damon said, and he was sure in that moment it looked like his brother was about to have a heart attack, as his eyes became even bigger in disbelief. "More than once… A lot more than once. It started the night before the wedding—"

"The _night _before, are you fucking kidding me, Damon? You decided to stick _your_ dick in the _one person _who should've been off-limits right before she was going to _marry_ someone else? Your _best friend_, in fact? And she's Elena's best friend. Your _ex. _What the _fuck_ is the matter with you?"

"Everything, apparently… Is this chastising gonna take long? I honestly need a coffee."

"I'm glad this is funny to you," Stefan said as he nodded his head and Damon rolled his eyes. "You're all bruised up. I'm sure Enzo is just as bad, and probably _devastated _because the two people he _loved_ more than anything in this world didn't give a shit about him or his feelings," Stefan shook his head as he swallowed hard. "How fucking _cruel_ can you be? Why is it so _easy _for you to be unkind?"

Damon felt a stab at the heart at that before he stood up, pulled a shirt on, and gathered the bottle of bourbon that sat empty on the table, to dispose of it.

There was a long silence in-between them as Stefan felt the fire in his belly simply growing the longer Damon just walked around, not acknowledging anything, until he followed him in the kitchen, and watched him starting a fresh pot of coffee.

"What, so you're not gonna say anything? You're not gonna defend yourself?" Stefan asked flatly as Damon grabbed a coffee filter. "You really don't care that you did this to Enzo, do you?"

Damon suddenly dropped the mug in his hand on the counter and it made a loud _bang, _before he turned to face Stefan; his eyes were full of venom as he followed his pressing stare. He was surprised the ceramic hadn't shattered to pieces.

"What do you want me to say, Stefan? That you were right—I've had feelings for Bonnie all along and I handled all of this poorly by not being honest about it and putting her in a position to cheat on my best friend? Because I do care, Stefan, despite how much of a black _fucking_ hole you think that my heart is, _I care._"

"So, make things right with him, Damon! At least _try_ to explain what happened."

"There's no going back for him and me," Damon said, and Stefan's expression saddened. "I wish that I could change this—_change everything_—because maybe last night wouldn't have happened. Maybe, I wouldn't have fought one of the only people who ever saw the good in me, despite how many shitty things I've done. And maybe I wouldn't be the reason that all of this happened to Bonnie," he said as Stefan furrowed his brows but remained silent. "Because he went absolutely, fucking _nuclear_ on her last night when it should have been me. And that's the reason why we fought… Not because he found out about it—we wanted him to know, eventually— but what he _said _when he found out," Damon started, and Stefan swallowed hard as he listened and watched the anger quickly materializing in Damon's eyes. "He called her a _slut _because he couldn't grasp the concept that he didn't get what he wanted; what he like felt _entitled to,_" Damon said as his brother shook his head. "He spoke to her like she meant nothing to him."

"He did that? In front of _you_?"

"In front of _everyone_, Stefan. Enzo _humiliated_ her in front of her bosses and colleagues… She was speechless. She had no idea what to say or do. No one did. And I know—I know what we did was wrong. And we should've told him a _hell _of a lot sooner, nothing will ever change that and what he said _last night _certainly doesn't justify what we did for _months_… but she doesn't belong to anybody, Stefan. Not even me. And she doesn't deserve to be talked to like she's property—she's a human being and we made a mistake. We'll both live with that, for the rest of our lives… Bonnie, especially. She's never going to escape from it, in this small town… Her father was the mayor—everyone knows her… Her reputation's shot. And all of that is _my fault_. Because I loved her… because I _still _love her."

"Why didn't you tell me the truth?" Stefan asked and Damon stood up straighter as his brother folded his arms over his chest. "When I asked you what was going on with you and Bonnie? Why did you lie to me instead of coming clean, right then and there?"

"Because do you remember how you reacted, when you _thought_ this whole thing was one-sided?" Damon shot back and Stefan ticked his jaw. "You treated me like I was the worst person on the planet because I was in love with my best friend, even though you've been in my shoes… You know _exactly_ what this is like and why it's so hard," he said, and Stefan exhaled as a long silence passed between them, though Damon's eyes were illuminated with a renewed sense of frustration. "I already feel awful enough about this, Stefan. Trust me, I do. Because of me, Bonnie got dragged through the mud at her _job _and she might get fired because of a dick measuring contest between two grown ass men. I strung Elena along, broke her heart, and then almost lost Bonnie too in the process because I couldn't man the fuck up about how I felt… Everything that's happened is _my fault _and I guess I just didn't need one more person telling me that. Especially not you, because you're my brother. And you never have my back."

"That's not true, Damon."

"When you thought I had feelings Bonnie, you set her up on a double date with you and Caroline to play fucking Cupid for her and Enzo," he said, and Stefan licked his teeth with no response. "You didn't care how I felt _one bit _because to you, it was _preposterous_ that I would even think that I had a chance with her. And you know what? Enzo said the same thing last night… He _laughed_ in my face about the possibility of Bonnie Bennett wanting me back… _loving me back,_" Damon said as he bit his bottom lip to stop himself from suddenly shaking. "I've _loved her _for twelve years of my life. I let her go, because I thought it was the right thing to do for her, but at what point do I get to do something that make me happy? Because she does, Stefan. She's changed my life. And I'm sorry if that's not a good enough reason for what we did… it never will be. But I can't change what's already done, I can only move forward. And… I want to move forward with her… I want to make her the happiest woman on this planet because to me, despite what we did, she deserves that. She's still worth that."

Stefan didn't say a word at that, as he carefully read Damon's stare; noting the sincerity, vulnerability, and passion behind it, though he was trying his hardest to keep a hold of his emotions.

He couldn't, he was a devastating mess—especially last night. He threw himself smack dab in the middle of a volatile situation and made it worse, because he couldn't stand the thought of losing her, just as quickly as he had gotten her. He'd started that fight—_he threw the first punch_—and he was now the reason all of these shallow, nosy, uppity _assholes _were going to look at Bonnie not as the young woman, who'd made a name for herself as a professor, following in the legacy of her grandmother, making both her parents proud. But instead, a liar, a cheater, and a _whore_, because this was a small town and news traveled fast.

He'd be surprised if her family hadn't already heard what happened, and her father wasn't on the first flight back from New York, with Abby. The Bennett-Hopkins family were an honorable bunch who prided themselves on being good, honest people, and it was one of the many reasons why Rudy had been the beloved mayor for years in Mystic Falls, until he chose to retire and head to the northeast with his wife. He abided by a code of honor, respect, and loyalty, rooted in his time as a police chief before he hung up his badge, and switched professions, leading the town of Mystic Falls in a positive and prosperous direction as their voice and moral compass.

Damon knew Bonnie always looked up to father almost as much as she looked up to her grams because to her, he was a superhero, and he always did the virtuous thing, whether it won him popularity or not. He was always just so driven by his righteousness.

Damon could understand why Bonnie was terrified of letting him down. He'd built a strong and unwavering name for himself and his family in this town before he left and Bonnie easily fit into the mold, by always acting in accordance with what he father would say or do, until she slowly found herself testing the limits of "goodness" and it was what led her here, entangled in this mess with Damon Salvatore. Because for once, she didn't do what her father would do. She did the exact opposite. And it was one of the many reasons why Damon knew this would all be ten times worse for Bonnie than it could be for anyone else; because she had people who looked up to her, admired her, and expected things from her despite never really knowing her. It was like to them, she was a perfect caricature who could do no wrong; she was the direct descendent of a family that was full of class, warmness, and kindness. Her actions were going to be viewed as reprehensible and it would immediately discredit her and her family's legacy here, because she made a bad decision. And he hated how fucking unfair that was.

She couldn't say anything because of who she was; Bonnie Bennett, the mayor's perfect, reserved, _black _daughter, who was well aware of the _very white_ town that she lived in and the negative stereotypes she had to try so hard to fight against, just because of her gender and skin tone. Bonnie had spent her entire life trying not to act a certain way—_trying not to be perceived a certain way—_and it was all the more reason why Damon felt the need to step in and defend her, because he knew in a way, it'd be worse for her if she spoke up at all. If she attacked Enzo back in the way that he deserved, she would have been seen as the aggressor. If she remained silent and just took it, like she did, she'd be seen as weak. She just couldn't fucking win.

Damon ticked his jaw as he drew himself out of his own thoughts and met Stefan's eyes, as his brother took in a deep breath.

"Do you understand, now, why I had to leave you out of this?" he asked. "Why I didn't tell you?"

Stefan waited a moment before shaking his head.

"No Damon, I don't. Because it sounds to me like you kept this from me because you didn't wanna hear that you were wrong. You didn't want to acknowledge that going after a woman who was practically _married_ was a shitty move and wouldn't end well for anyone involved. And you knew I'd be the one to tell you that. Not Ric, not Caroline, but me. It's always been me."

Damon inhaled silently as his brother fished in his pockets for his keys and pushed past him as he headed for the door.

"Do you really hate me that much?" Damon asked and Stefan stopped, though he didn't turn around to look him in the eyes. "Do you honestly feel like it's been your job, all your life, to stop me from screwing up? To stop _me from being _me? Because I don't need you to fix me, Stefan. I don't want you to. I've accepted that this is who I am and if _you _can't accept that maybe…" he stopped, and his brother turned around and met his eyes. "Maybe it's best if we don't talk for a while. Maybe you and I need a little bit of space."

Stefan remained still at that before he finally nodded his head. Damon's heart was pounding, and he took a step in as he followed his eyes, his hands suddenly shaking as Stefan's glare pierced right through him, like an arrow to a hot air balloon.

"Stefan— "

"I wish you all the best, Damon. Bonnie too. Tell her I'm sorry about what Enzo said to her."

And he was gone, just like that.

**XXXXX**

"Good afternoon, Miss Bennett. Thank you so much for meeting me on such short notice."

Bonnie nodded silently as she sat down in the chair of the President of Whitmore's office. Dr. Wes Maxfield stared back at her with an uneasy smile, and she folded her hands over her lap, tapping her foot all the while.

She had gotten the call this morning, when she woke up to eggs and pancakes at her condo, courtesy of Nora and Caroline who had kept her company through last night.

Caroline came over immediately as soon as Nora let her know what happened and she didn't waste anytime ridding Bonnie's place of any and all reminders of Enzo, including a scrapbook she had in a box in the back of her closet that she had forgotten about. Caroline handed it to Bonnie and watched on as she tossed it into the fireplace and let it burn; the pages, pictures, and memories up inflames in an instant, while Bonnie prayed she could also learn to forget him just as fast. Because after tonight, she didn't want to hear from him ever again. He'd broken her heart, probably just as badly as she had broken his, and it may have been her cosmic karma, but it was also the push she needed to finally get rid of him in all aspects, _for good. _So, she did; she did a full fucking purge.

Any gift he'd gotten her throughout their relationship—dresses, blouses, bags, shoes, jewelry—she packed it all up into a box and they drove down to their local clothing pantry before it closed and donated it all. She had no use for anything he'd paid for anymore and she hoped that there was a less fortunate woman out there who could put some of it to good use. Especially the Chanel handbags that came directly from France when he proposed to her. She never wanted to see any of this stuff again.

But she didn't wake up feeling like a new woman, like she had hoped. In fact, getting a full night's rest only allowed it to further sink into her psyche that none of this was over. It was only just beginning. And when she listened to the voicemail from Dr. Maxfield asking her to meet she knew this was it. She was going to lose her career—something she'd busted her ass for—because of the fight and his accusations. The sleepless nights studying for her PhD, the unpaid student teaching, the weeks she spent putting together lesson plans, the hours she spent reading and grading term papers—it all meant nothing. And it would all be gone, in the blink of an eye. Because she pissed the wrong person off.

_Because she was dumb enough to fuck with his heart. _

"I'm extremely sorry about what happened at the gala," she began and Dr. Maxfield remained silent. "I… would never purposely bring whatever problems I have going on in my personal life to the college and I'm mortified that any of it occurred. I truly am."

Wes inhaled slowly before offering a nod and Bonnie looked down until she heard his voice again.

"We are really disappointed, Miss Bennett. There were several alumni here. Huge donors, who keep this university going and they were displeased, to say the least, at the shocking display of violence last night between your… husband and your boyfriend."

_Her husband and her boyfriend? Is that what people were calling them? _

"Not that you care but I'm not with Enzo. We never got married and we ended things months ago and Damon… he's my friend," she said carefully, and Wes held up both hands.

"Bonnie, you're an adult. I _personally _don't care what you're doing. It's none of my concern. But when your… love life causes a disruption at a university funded event, and people feel like their lives are endangered, then it becomes my problem."

"I know. And again, I am sorry. I will personally apologize to _every single person _if I have to. I… I'm not looking to justify anything. I just… want to make it right. Please. What can I do?"

Wes followed her eyes and she blinked back the tears that were behind them and he cleared his throat before drumming his fingers on the desk.

"I… have to put you on an administrative leave at this point, Bonnie. Effective immediately. You won't be teaching this spring semester," he said, and her heart stopped as she followed his blue eyes. "You're a bright young woman. And you're amazing at your job—just like your grandmother, Sheila, was but after last night, many people see you as a liability. And with pressure from the board of trustees, and phone calls from concerned parents already rolling in, questioning the class and dignity of the faculty we hire here, my hands are tied," he said and she nodded softly as she looked to the ground. "This isn't permanent, we just… think you should take some time off, allow things some time to blow over. Your pay and benefits will remain intact. Look at this as a good thing."

"It's not a good thing, Wes. I'm being _suspended _because of a fight I didn't start. I stood there _defenseless. _And I'm thankful I'm not being fired; I'm grateful I'll keep my benefits but what I _want _is to keep teaching. I love my job. I've already prepared for the spring— "

"Your only other option is resignation," he said, and she swallowed hard as he met her eyes. "And I can't suggest that you do that, Bonnie. I don't want you to do that. I want you to come back but I… this isn't my choice. I think that you should take the time off, clear your head. It's a blessing, in disguise."

Bonnie stood up from her seat as she bit her lip and looked into his eyes.

"Was that it?"

"It is. Bonnie, I'm sorry, I— "

She was already out the door before she could hear anything else that he had to say.

**XXXXX**

Bonnie took back a shot of vodka and placed her glass on the counter—letting the burn of the alcohol infiltrate her senses before she signaled for another and Caroline watched on. She smoothed her black curls behind her ear and shook her head drunkenly as she looked into her eyes.

It'd been merely hours since Bonnie had been suspended and instead of going home to sit and sulk in silence, she decided to go out, because why not?

Her life was going to shit, right before Christmas and the New Year, and it was only going to be a few more days until her Mom and Dad were back from New York and they'd catch wind of everything that happened. They'd get to hear all about how she embarrassed their family and destroyed their legacy, because she cheated on Enzo with Damon and now everyone knew about it.

The holidays she once looked forward to were now quickly becoming her time of dread, as she ignored about ten phone calls today from various family members who she was sure had heard about what happened and wanted to make sure that she was okay. But she didn't have the heart to lie that she was. She wasn't okay. She probably wouldn't be for a while. And she was tired of pretending like she was. She hated that she had to fucking pretend at all.

"I'll have a martini, extra dirty please," Bonnie ordered with the bartender after she received another shot and Caroline placed a hand on her shoulder, shouting over the music in this place.

_Bartini_ definitely didn't seem like Bonnie's type of bar, Caroline noted, when she walked in to meet her for a drink after receiving a text from Bonnie informing her that she had been suspended for a semester because of the fight last night.

This place was _loud, _the crowd was young, and Caroline always took Bonnie for being someone who liked a calm environment with good food and soft music, allowing you the chance to hear each other talk and engage in a thoughtful and mature conversation. Tonight was different, apparently, as the two found themselves at one of the more _rowdy _college bars in Mystic Falls, that featured $1 Jell-O shots, a bar menu that didn't consist of anything that wasn't fried, annoying ass frat boys, and music from an in-house DJ that was blaring so loudly, Caroline was sure she was going to blow out an eardrum.

She was too damn old for this.

But she was being supportive. And this was what Bonnie wanted, clearly; to go to a place where she'd know _no one, _and wouldn't have to deal with the ongoing saga of everybody in this goddamn town staring at her and judging her, the second she walked into the door, because somehow, everyone already knew about what happened last night.

Here, she'd garnered a few looks and giggles from a few who were privy to the fact that she was the professor who'd just gotten suspended but ultimately the younger crowd was too drunk to care about who she was, as they took back shots of Jager, sang to the more recognizable songs that played, and danced to the music blaring from the speakers without a care in the world. It was Thirsty Thursday, after all. Bonnie had successfully blended in, as she changed into a cute off the shoulder black dress and thigh high black boots, her lips painted a sultry raspberry red. Her hair was in soft curls that ran down her back and Caroline watched on as a few guys way too young and dumb for Bonnie attempted to hit on her, but they were awarded no such luck as she made it clear she wasn't interested. She just wanted to sulk in silence.

Caroline took a sip of her vodka sprite—she'd been nursing the same one for about an hour—before she cleared her throat and faced Bonnie. The brunette offered a soft, but drunk, smile.

"Thanks for coming," Bonnie said as she leaned against the counter and grabbed her martini—toying with an olive. "You've been so helpful through all of this, Care."

"Of course, Bon. That's what friends do… I still think it's bullshit you were suspended and Dr. Maxfield is going to receive a _very _angry email from me detailing why I will no longer be donating to Whitmore's alumni fund— "

"Care, I appreciate it. But you don't have to do that— "

"Of course, I do, Bonnie. People have done _worse_ things. You left someone who didn't make you happy anymore, big fucking deal. Do you honestly think that entire board of trustees who 'voted' on this aren't the type of sleaze balls who cheat on their _wives _with girls our age? They're _all _hypocrites," Caroline ranted, and Bonnie sighed because she knew it was true. "And Enzo… that _son of a bitch, _threw a temper tantrum and then _you, _under the bus. He _wanted_ to hurt you, Bonnie. Enzo said what he said _on purpose_ to destroy your reputation."

"And he succeeded," she smiled sadly, taking a sip and licking her lips. "Because I'm suspended from my job and if I want to teach again before the fall, they'll force me to resign. Enzo won. He got what he wanted. And that was to ruin my life. Just like I ruined his. I… should've told him, Caroline. About Damon, sooner. None of this would have happened— "

"He had a choice, Bonnie. To take the high road and he didn't. Don't blame yourself for that," Caroline shook her head and Bonnie listened on. "I have to ask, has he always talked like that to you during a fight?"

Bonnie swallowed hard as she took a sip of her drink and offered a flippant shrug.

"Sometimes, I guess?... We never really fought all that often, so I guess I just was never really concerned about it when he'd have his moments and… say mean things," she responded, and Caroline frowned. "It doesn't matter anymore anyway, Caroline. I didn't cheat on him because he could be mean sometimes. I learned to deal with that. It was… the unhappiness, otherwise. The… lack of _fulfillment _I felt with him. We were just never the right fit, despite how much I wanted him to be because to me, he was perfect, despite all of his flaws," she admitted, and Caroline sighed as her hand landed on her shoulder.

"He was perfect _on paper_, Bonnie. Anybody can be," she said as Bonnie but her lip and stayed silent. "And just because you _got used to _the way he talked to you sometimes, doesn't make it okay. And that doesn't mean it didn't happen. It may not have been _why _you left him but… maybe you dodged a bullet, when you did."

Bonnie laughed bitterly at that as she shook her head.

"It's crazy because, it feels like I've lost everything since not being with him. My job, my reputation, a best friend," she said, and she shrugged. "He won, Caroline. I'm… slowly but surely falling apart, I mean—_this bar, really? _But it's the only place I could come to where the people don't care. They don't care about me," she shook her head and Caroline squeezed her shoulder as she stepped in.

"Enzo did not _win_, because this is not over. _You _are not over," Caroline said as Bonnie propped her elbow on the counter and leaned against it. "But you know who will be? Him, if he comes near you again because I'll bash his fucking teeth in," Caroline snapped, and Bonnie sighed. "Have you… talked to Damon yet about what's happening with work?"

"He's called a few times. I haven't picked up," she said, and Caroline frowned. "I know he's going to blame himself for what happened, even though he was just trying to defend me. I honestly don't know what would've happened if he wasn't there. Enzo was drunk and… aggressive."

"Well, thankfully he was, and things weren't worse… You should tell him that. In person," Caroline said, and Bonnie sighed as she met her eyes. "He could use the news, that you don't hate him. He's had a pretty shitty day, too, you know."

"What do you mean?"

"Stefan," Caroline exhaled as the brunette remained silent and listened on. "He found out about everything and went to see Damon this morning. Reamed him out for it. They're on a 'break,'" Caroline informed, and Bonnie frowned. "He vented to me about it, the second he got home. And I've tried getting Stefan to see where Damon was coming from, why he hid this from him, and he just doesn't get it. It's like once he makes his mind up about something, he can't see the other side of things. And he— "

"Doesn't _approve _of Damon and I?"

"He… doesn't like how it happened. And I've been sure to remind him he's been a fucking home wrecker himself, when he swooped in while I was dating Alaric, but he doesn't think it's the same. It's like… I love him, Bonnie. I do, so much. He's compassionate and he has a big heart but… it's like it's reserved for everyone on this planet, except for his own brother. And I hate that. I hate that he can't just see the _good _in Damon. Even if he may not be a good person."

"I don't think any of us are _good people_," Bonnie said, shaking her head. "We're all ten shades of _fucked up."_

"Tell me about it," Caroline replied as Bonnie took another sip and watched as she pulled out her phone and started texting furiously. Bonnie's eyes widened with confusion as she watched her fingers moving a mile a minute.

"Are you rage texting your husband?"

"No, I've done that several times already today. I invited Damon, when you went to the bathroom. He's here and I think you should talk to him. You can cheer each other up."

"He's here?" she asked, suddenly sobered as she glanced around before turning back to her eyes. "Caroline… _everyone_ just found out I cheated with him on Enzo _last night._ I was thinking maybe Damon and I could ease into this in like. ten to twelve months. Whatever this is. If _this _even still exists— "

"It still _exists, _and you know it," Caroline snapped, and Bonnie closed her mouth. "So why not just get the awkward, awful, _unavoidable_ part out of the way, Bon? You love him. He loves you. You _want _to be together… What's stopping you at this point?"

"Shame, embarrassment, humiliation…"

"All tools Enzo tried to use to continue to control your life, when you're not even with him anymore. You know that's what his goal was, right? To make you _so embarrassed _why what you'd done that you wouldn't even wanna _look _at Damon anymore. He wanted you to associate someone that makes you _happy _with humiliation because you hurt him. And he didn't _love you _enough to let you go."

Caroline was right. It was obvious Enzo had been hurt by what he'd found out and he completely flew off the handle because it was _Damon _of all people that Bonnie had fallen for. She imagined he might've have taken the news slightly better had he not known who she left him for at all. But he felt betrayed and she couldn't argue against that. They did betray him, in the worst possible way, especially by hiding the truth for so long and not expecting it to blow up in both of their faces.

Bonnie's suspension was her proof that she had gotten her just desserts.

But were they supposed to walk around, branded with scarlet red letters now, living only at Enzo's will because they had both hurt him? Bonnie was tempted to lock herself away for the next six months, to be honest, to repent for this, because she felt like it was the right thing to do. The "right" thing would be to never see Damon ever again.

But it wasn't. And she knew it.

Because there was no right answer, anymore, after the choices she'd made. She hadn't been a good person and she did an even worse thing. But that didn't mean that she had to live the rest of her life in a bubble because she was afraid to make any more mistakes. She just had to learn from this. And she couldn't let hurt and devastation destroy the girl that she had always been at the core. Because once she let that happen, she would lose her heart, soul, and everything else that made her, _her_, and she wasn't ready to become a shell of who she once was, despite how bent and broken she felt. She wanted to fight. She wanted to live. She wanted to be more than what Enzo's words reduced her to.

She knew she was so much more than that.

"I know," she nodded and Caroline bit her lip. "I may not have been able to say anything I that wanted to say to him last night. But you're right. Especially after what happened today, I know what I'm not going to do... I'm _not _going to crawl up into a ball and die of embarrassment. Because I refuse to give Enzo the satisfaction. He wants me to stop living my life because he's not in it and I won't let that happen," she replied, and Caroline responded with a nod as Bonnie stood strong. "I brought this upon myself. The least I can do is continue to live my life the way that _I _want to, at this point."

"I agree! And I certainly don't think you owe _anyone _anything, anymore. You only owe it to _yourself_ to try to pick up the pieces and move forward the best you know how, Bon. So, take the plunge with Damon. See where it goes. Who gives a damn what the rest of the world thinks? I _love_ you. And I know that you're strong enough to handle everything coming your way… You've always been one of the strongest people I know. But I also know that you're _human _so… don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. I've been known to slash a few tires in my day."

Bonnie smiled softly and Caroline gave her a long hug as they stood there quietly in the embrace for a moment, without a word.

"I love you too. Thank you for today. I really needed it."

"Today's not over," Caroline pulled away and looked into her eyes. "Your life is _not over._"

Bonnie nodded and Caroline all of a sudden smiled a little brighter as she looked behind her and Bonnie gulped before turning around and there he was.

And suddenly this was real. And instantly, she wanted to pass out because she'd had all but three minutes to prepare for this moment, as she watched Damon slowly making his way through the packed crowd towards them, his expression unreadable as he walked past a few sorority girls who whispered to each other as they eyed him and he stopped when he was in front of Bonnie. She exhaled a deep breath and he did as well, before she gave him an awkward hug to greet him and Caroline snorted as they both seemed to be stumbling over their words immediately as she watched on, in entertained silence.

These two people were doing _all that they were doing _behind closed doors, but couldn't even hug in a packed bar, properly?

She held in a giggle, because honestly? The dichotomy of it was kind of adorable.

"I'm gonna get a drink," Caroline said though the drink in her hand was still full, "Be right back!" she yelled, and she was off before Bonnie could question her, leaving the two alone, in ten seconds flat.

Bonnie turned to look at Damon and she didn't say a word; the blaring music still not loud enough to drown out her thoughts, as they raced a mile a minute, and he finally said something, much to her relief as his blue eyes shone beneath the flashing lights from the dance floor in the bar.

His eyes were like oceans and she already wanted to dive right in.

"I… think we just got set up," he said, and Bonnie offered a soft smile as did he when he saw a flash of calmness in her eyes.

"I think that we did," Bonnie agreed as she tucked a strand behind her ear and Damon had to press into her a little closer when a group passed behind him to get to the bar.

His body was suddenly against hers and Bonnie smiled tightly when they touched, and he looked at her apologetically before he finally had room to back up again.

"This place is a fire hazard."

"You're… concerned about the maximum occupancy?" she asked with a wrinkled nose and he nodded as he looked around.

"I own a bar. I notice these things when I go out… it's why I usually don't go out," he said, and she nodded as she bit her lip.

"But you did, tonight… to _Bartini _of all places," she gestured, and he sneered but nodded before meeting her eyes again. "Why?"

"Isn't it obvious? I did it for you," he said, and her heart skipped a beat as he followed her eyes. "I… heard about the administrative leave."

"Damon…"

"Let me finish, please," he said softly, and she folded her arms over her chest as he sighed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have fought Enzo. Not at your job. That was… unlike anything I ever expected to happen, and it is embarrassing, for you. I never should have put you in that position to be humiliated at your place of employment. And… I called Dr. Maxfield, to let him know it was my fault. I told him you had nothing to do with it. He… said he couldn't reverse the decision from the board, but he appreciated my apology and… he looks forward to seeing you in six months, if you haven't resigned by then."

Bonnie nodded at that as she looked to the ground.

"Thank you for trying, Damon. I appreciate it as well and I… don't blame you for anything that happened. You were just trying to defend me. Like you always do," she replied, and her hand landed on his arm. In an instant she felt the chemicals react and her brain scrambled as she looked up into his bluer than blue eyes and she cleared her throat. "I guess I just… didn't expect everything to go up in flames so quickly the way that it did, either. I knew Enzo would be mad. He had every right to be but— "

"You're not any of those things that he called you, Bonnie. You know that right?" Damon asked and she pursed her lips as she felt him move in even closer, taking her hand into his and rubbing it softly. "You… are beautiful, Bonnie. Inside and out. You always have been since we were kids. You've been there for me through everything. And you've saved my life, in more ways than one," he said recalling the particularly rough couple of years following his Mother's death and when his depression took him to all new lows he never should have seen as a kid.

Bonnie never left him alone, despite how much he begged her to, and in hindsight was thankful she hadn't. Because maybe he would've worked up the courage to do something unthinkable and he wouldn't be standing here, face to face with her right now.

"I saved you?"

He swallowed hard. He wasn't ready to tell her the extent of it, just yet.

"Yeah, remember the time you didn't tell my Dad that I flunked Social Studies and you got Mr. Abrams to give me extra credit so I'd pass," he said and she laughed at that, as his thumb still rubbed her palm.

"You remember that."

"Of course, I do, I… remember everything you've ever done for me. Which is why I… know that you're _more _than your mistakes. We both are, I think… I hope."

"I hope so too," she said as he stared back at her sincerely and Bonnie cleared her throat. "I'm sorry about Stefan. I… know how much it means to you, to get along with him. Especially with your Dad and Gail gone and Sarah doing her own thing. He's who you have," she said, and he nodded silently.

"He's my brother. I'll always love him. Even when he doesn't love me."

"He loves you, Damon. I know he does. He just… doesn't get you."

"I'm starting to think no one really does. Except for you," he said before she smiled and inhaled a deep breath. "There you go again, casually saving my life."

"Only because you keep saving mine," she said, and he pursed his lips as she looked straight into his eyes. "Thank you, Damon, I… am grateful you were there last night. I do mean that."

He nodded silently at that and there was a comfortable silence between them for a moment, save for the blaring dance music and the random yelling by some drunk kids at the bar. Damon really saw it as a true testament to how much that he _loved her _that he'd subjected himself to this at all.

"Do you… want to dance?" She asked as a familiar and upbeat dance song started through the speakers and he grimaced as he followed her eyes. "What?"

"Do I _want _to dance to this crap? No way. I'd rather stab myself in the eye with a rusty fork," he started, and she scoffed before he took her drink and placed it down and grabbed both of her hands as a look of surprise crossed her face. He pulled her in closer and she had to take slow breaths just not to feel like she was going to pass out. "But for _you_? I'd love to," he said earnestly, and she smiled as he spun her around and a laugh emitted from her lips when he led them out into the middle of the packed dance floor and they both started to move.

She was slow, cautious at first until she realized no one was paying attention to them and her her heart finally felt at ease. The crowd around them continued to move in rhythm with the beat, without noticing them or even caring and slowly but surely enough so did she and Damon as he took her hand and she pressed her body to him as his grip met her waist and his mouth brushed along her ear.

It was like they were invisible. And it was just what she needed after the past 24 hours. She just wanted to _disappear. _

Bonnie shut her eyes as she felt Damon's hands press to her sides and they moved together to the beat of the song. Her hands smoothed up his shoulders and he smiled at her as he towered over her easily and she smirked as well as they continued to dance and it took her back to her senior prom almost instantly, when she and Damon tore up the dance floor the entire night, not giving a damn who was judging or watching because they were having the time of their lives.

She had spent some of the best days of her life with him.

Damon pulled her in closer, as his hand trailed down her lower back and Bonnie felt her body involuntarily shudder beneath his touch; she inhaled the sweet smell of his cologne and she looked up into his eyes that were looking right back at her, before he pressed his forehead to hers and she closed her eyes.

This strange, confusing, _comfortable_ sense of euphoria that she felt when she was with him, was all that she had ever wanted, she realized as they danced.

Damon's hands moving smoothly across her skin and his stare barreling down onto hers—she was enchanted, to say the least, and the harder she tried to forget this, to push it out of her brain, the more she felt it.

Because he was like art. Damaged, tattered, and broken, but art, nonetheless. And she wanted nothing more than to experience him again and again, as she moved in his arms and felt his hand trail softly across her leg. Every hair stood on end and she knew in that moment that she was done for.

He had the capability to destroy her, but she didn't mind. She thought she would've learned her lesson by now.

"Where's Caroline?" She asked, to take her mind off of the sudden _heat _that she felt when she was next to him and his voice was low as he spoke, which made her tingle even more at the fingertips.

"She said she was getting a drink."

"That was twenty minutes ago."

"My guess is that Blondie ditched us."

They made their way over to the bar and she pulled her cell phone out of her crossbody and sure enough, there was a text message from Caroline to them both displayed on the screen as Damon read along with her, while Bonnie shook her head.

_Had to run. Totally forgot I had to feed my neighbors cats. Have fun! Xoxo. _

"Her neighbor has a dog, first off," Bonnie said, and Damon let out a hearty laugh as did she and she bit back her grin when he tucked a strand behind her ear. "I'm sorry."

"For what? I'm having a great time listening to… whatever this car crash is," he smirked, and she did as well.

"No, I mean… for the impromptu _date_ she kind of left us on," Bonnie said before she could stop herself and his brow rose as he watched her fumble almost instantly. "Not a _date-date_ because this is just a noisy college bar but— "

"Can I take you on a date, sometime?" He asked bluntly and Bonnie froze as he looked into her eyes and she instantly hated the fact that his stare put her into a dizzying fucking _haze, _and she found herself roaming over his features unashamedly.

"You want to go on a _date? _A real one? Not takeout, Scrabble, and arguing about the Lord of the Rings trilogy in your living room?"

"Is it really _that _unbelievable that I'd want to take you to dinner and a movie, and possibly end the night off with first or second base, in the back of the Camaro? Whichever you're comfortable with, or course," he joked, and she laughed at that as he shook his head. "I mean it. Let me take you out. Let's… see if there's really something to this, between me and you. Besides, you're unemployed at the moment so you can't say you're too busy…"

"Low fucking blow, asshole," she said, and he smirked as she ticked her jaw and smiled. "But points, for this being the most unconventional way I've ever been asked out on a date."

"So, it's a yes?"

"It's a… why the hell not, Damon," she agreed, and he licked his lips.

"Shall we seal this with a shot? Tequila?"

"Tequila it is," she agreed, and she watched as Damon ordered two shots and the bartender dropped them off, with a saltshaker and two limes.

When both he and Bonnie were set up they licked the salt, took the shots back, bit the lime; Bonnie giggled at the sour taste—she didn't remember the last time she did that—and Damon wiped a drop of liquor off of the corner of her lip with his thumb. She swallowed hard as she looked into his eyes.

He didn't drop his hand and she felt her heart starting to race again as their faces got a little closer. Bonnie cleared her throat when their lips almost touched, and she offered a nervous smile as he continued to stroke her lips.

"I love this song," she said, and he took her hand into his own and without another word dragged her back onto the dance floor.

This time her back was pressed to his chest and she closed her eyes as she felt his hands slowly trailing down her body.

Bonnie's hands met his and Damon's mouth flirted dangerously close to her ear and she inhaled a deep breath when a rush of excitement passed through her.

How did he do that, so easily? Disrupt, interrupt, and _corrupt _her life, with just a touch, as he spun her back around into his arms and they stood nose to nose, with her face cradled in his hands.

This was dangerous, she knew it, as they continued to façade that this was just a friendly dance, but she knew that it meant more than that to him, because it did to her as well.

He took her to a place that was higher—_far away from here_—each time they played this game, toeing the line between what they were and what they could be if they just gave in.

If _she _just gave in.

He felt so close, but somehow she wanted him closer, and she cursed herself for that as she pulled him, arms wrapped around his shoulders and silenced the critics in her mind long enough to just _be here, in the moment, _just as he was. Just as he had always been.

And then it happened.

She was kissing him. She couldn't stop kissing him. As their bodies stopped moving long enough for her mouth to press to his, she took the leap and did it, and she felt the surprise against his mouth as his muscles tensed for just a second but he immediately rectified that and kissed her back.

Long, hard, painfully _slow, _as her hands combed through his hair and he pulled her in tightly at the face; lapping her up hungrily, like he'd gone years without a meal before.

_He knew damn well Bonnie Bennett was the entire course. _

When they both pulled away, she breathed a sigh of relief, because the world hadn't ended. The world was still spinning, and they were still Bonnie and Damon, trying to understand what this all meant, as the Earth took them on a crazy, magical, fucked-up, but incredibly worth it ride.

And he was worth it. He had always been worth it.

"I think we should go," she said, and Damon agreed as she grabbed his hand and they quickly walked outside. Bonnie greedily inhaled the air while he hailed a taxi.

The moment they got in, she was completely silent as she looked straight ahead, nervously bouncing her foot against the ground and Damon didn't say a thing, until they pulled up to the boarding house, ten minutes later, and he paid and thanked the driver before the man sped off.

Bonnie waited patiently by the door and she suddenly realized she hadn't been here in weeks—not since she and Damon's fight—and that further compounded her anxiousness as she watched him open the door and flip on the lights. She slowly walked in, drinking in the familiar living room, and he cleared his throat as he slowly spun around and stuffed both hands into his pockets.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked nervously, and she nodded.

"Water's fine," she responded.

Damon walked off and Bonnie took in a deep breath because suddenly she knew this was stupid. She shouldn't have been here—she probably shouldn't have even been seen leaving a bar with Damon and hopping into a taxi to head to his place, but she immediately stopped her negative thoughts and sat down on the couch, putting down her purse.

She couldn't change the past. Avoiding Damon and pretending she wasn't attracted to him wouldn't fix things. She needed to step into this moment and give this an honest shot if she was going to take back control of her life. She wasn't going to be ashamed anymore.

Damon walked back in and she swallowed hard but offered a smile as he sat down beside her with her water and she thanked him softly before placing the glass to her lips and taking a long healthy sip as he looked into her eyes.

"What?" She asked when she was done, and he shrugged as she followed his stare and he offered a response.

"Nothing, just… kind of in awe of you."

Bonnie pursed her lips at that, and Damon didn't look away as her hands wrapped tightly around her glass.

"I'm pretty ordinary, Damon."

"You're not," he said softly, and she gulped. "You know that you aren't."

"I kind of wish I could be. Especially after all that's happened," she admitted honestly, and he followed her eyes. "If Enzo didn't love me, if you didn't love me…" she stopped when his hand met her jaw.

"You're right. Because I do _love you_. So fucking much, Bonnie. But I… don't regret that, not one bit. I… think I could've done things differently. I wish I could've done more to protect you but I… just know that I would do _anything _for you, Bennett. I would. I'd fight anyone for you and I'm not sorry about that."

Bonnie looked down at her hands and shook her head without meeting his penetrative eyes.

"You can't fight the whole town for me."

"I would try," he said, and she looked up as he moved in closer. "I would do anything for you."

Bonnie's breath hitched as she felt his hand land against her neck. They stared at one another for a long silent moment before she finally offered a response. He was hanging onto her every word all the while.

"I'm in love with you, Damon. I… can't pinpoint when it happened, it just did. And I wish that I knew. I wish that I could recall the exact moment I fell for you like you did for me, but I can't. It just happened, all at once. And I knew it the night I let you walk away. I shouldn't have let you leave without telling you. I'm sorry that I got so upset with you for trying to do right by me."

"Bonnie, no. That was my fault. I let my talk with Elena get into my head. And trust me, Ric read me my rights six ways to Sunday, and he told me that I had to do better… that's the only reason I was there last night. To make things right. And when I saw you with Enzo, I just got angry. Because I thought you'd gone back to him, just like that. I thought maybe, I never really meant that much to you— "

"You're everything to me, Damon," she put down her drink and grabbed his hands. "I shouldn't have let him talk me into bringing him. I just… I _hoped _he and I could be friends but that's clearly not what he wanted from me. I was naïve to let him back in and as a result… I got suspended from my job. But it never had anything to do with you, Damon, I… didn't stop feeling the way that I felt about you, just because I was upset. If anything, it made me even more mad because I still loved you. I still love you, now."

Damon ticked his jaw as he moved in even closer and Bonnie didn't tear away from his eyes this time as she still held onto his hands tightly. Her adrenaline was racing but she wasn't going to step back now. She wasn't afraid now. She couldn't afford to be scared of this anymore.

She suddenly leaned in and kissed him, and Damon sighed into it, as the warmth from her lips engulfed his in an instant and she pulled away long enough to catch her breath as he looked into her eyes. Her hands released his and met his jaw.

It was his turn to move in this time, as he pressed his lips to hers slowly, and Bonnie had to all but stop herself from moaning against his mouth when he slipped his tongue along hers. She instantly grabbed the tendrils of his dark hair and they continued for a few more minutes until they finally separated; his fingers danced along her thigh, just above her boots.

She was immediately within a foggy haze when he looked at her. So much so, she started to slowly unbutton his shirt and he watched on quietly when she undid each one before slipping it out of his arms and tossing it on the couch. Damon observed in quiet fascination as Bonnie headed for his belt as well, dragging it through the loops and dropping it to the ground and unzipping his pants next, as they fell to the floor and he sat there in just his black boxer briefs.

He didn't hesitate to pull her on top of him. She was still wearing her dress and her thigh high boots and he didn't bother to rid her of the latter, as he pulled the dress in one smooth motion over her head and marveled at the fact that she was now just in a black lace bra with matching underwear and a pair of heels—something he'd admittedly fantasized about for years; the dreams he'd had for over ten years were finally coming to fruition.

Their mouths crashed repeatedly; he swallowed her tongue and his hands gripped her waist as she slowly started to grind against him. His hands slowly traveled between her legs and he rubbed a palm over her thong and felt the already damp fabric at his fingertips as she bit her lip when he found her eyes.

"It's been a while," she said, and he smiled, still rubbing before he kissed her again.

This time, a lot rougher, as he stood her with her in his arms, and bit her lip.

Bonnie held onto him tightly and she felt her back land against a soft familiar surface and he pulled off her boots, tossing them to the ground. He'd carried her all the way up to his bed and she pulled him in tightly on top of her, as Damon kissed her neck and nibbled on her ear. She dipped her hand into his boxers, and he groaned as she worked him, before he pinned her hands above her head, and she smiled mischievously as he gripped her wrists hard.

"Ladies first. You know that," he whispered and Bonnie didn't have a chance to argue as he was already going down on her, seconds later, as he dipped his index and middle finger into her center until she was sopping wet, and he immediately followed with his mouth, when he pushed her underwear aside.

Bonnie sighed and shut her eyes as she felt his tongue flicking against her furiously and she followed his direction to turn onto her stomach, while he continued to eat her out from behind as she buried her moans into his pillow. He grabbed her ass, spanked it even, and she felt her body immediately giving in as his tongue dipped even deeper inside of her as he continued to spread her wide open while she whimpered softly, though she prayed it would never end. She could honestly allow him to do this forever.

But she would never last that long—definitely not around him, anyway, and she shivered with orgasm as he continued to alternate between his fingers and tongue inside of her until she collapsed face first against the pillows. She slowly turned over to look up at him and she was a vision, if he had ever seen one, as he allowed himself just a moment to take her in, visually before he did so, physically.

He was speechless, as corny, cliché, and weak as that made him, as he reached into the drawer for a condom and her hand stopped him. He lifted a brow as she pulled him by the neck.

"We don't need one," she said, and he pursed his lips as she sat up slightly. "I… want to feel you without one… I'm on birth control," she reassured, and he followed her eyes.

"It's only 99% effective, you know."

"We'll be careful," she said before her lips met his and she kissed him so strongly he thought her kiss alone could knock her out.

He was already rock hard and ready, and her _request _made him even more so, because this was the first time he'd ever done this; not even with Elena, despite how many times she insisted but he always turned her down.

This was an entirely different level of intimacy—one he hadn't reached with her, despite dating her for a combined century. But with Bonnie, it was different. He'd love this girl for a few years short of half his life. He trusted her. And knowing that she trusted him—so much so to risk having a kid with him, if that 1% kicked in—did something deeper to him than just turning him on.

He was fully invested. He was in love. And he was all-in, _literally_, as he pushed inside of her and it felt like every nerve ending on his body was on fire from the brand new sensation of being skin-to-skin, as she gripped onto him tightly and looked straight into his eyes.

She was warm and wet and ready as always, when he slid into her. Bonnie's arms wrapped around his shoulders and she clawed at him maniacally when his lips met her neck and sucked on it so long and hard, marking his territory with a hickey. When his lips unlatched from her skin, he looked deep into her eyes while he satisfied her and Bonnie tried to keep her moans soft and flighty but it wasn't along before they were aching, long, and _loud _with each thrust he employed into her and each tremor she felt as she got closer and closer to another orgasm, as the minutes went on.

She gripped the pillows and all but screamed at the familiar sensation that tingled through her veins as she shut her eyes and Damon's sweat peppered his forehead—her hands smoothed his hair back while she watched him at work.

Sexy, sinful, breathtaking green orbs found his own and she started talking to him innocently though the words leaving her lips were anything but while he kept going, in an effort to finish off the job.

"You like how it feels don't you?" she asked, and he nodded as his fingers met her mouth and she bit down while they massaged her tongue and he continued to thrust. "I want you, Damon. All of you. Inside of me."

He complied with that and moved in a little bit further and Bonnie gasped when he stopped just to let her feel him throbbing against her g-spot before he started again torturously slow—he was fucking with his own sanity at this point too.

"Like that?"

"Just like that," she agreed, and his fingers massaged harder against her jaw and bicep flexed when she grabbed onto it tightly, and he continued to push until he was dangerously close to exploding.

He attempted to pull out—to come anywhere but inside of her—but Bonnie stopped him when she rolled him beneath her. Her hands scratched at his chest and found his lips and with one final thrust he was done. His back collapsed onto the bed and she was still on top of him—he was still inside of her—and their mouths continued to meet eagerly, as he pulled her into a starving kiss and Bonnie was looking down into his eyes when he finally reopened his.

She was thinking the same exact thing he was about to say.

"That was… incredible," he said, and she smiled shyly before kissing him again.

Her body finally rolled into the spot on the pillow beside him and he kissed her again and again.

Just to feel that she was real. Just to feel that she was really _his. _

"I should shower," she said, and he sat up as well, as she climbed out of bed. "You're… welcome to join me if you'd like."

Damon's eyes watched her half-naked frame appreciatively; she was finally discarding her bra and he stood up immediately with a nod when she turned around and walked towards his bathroom as he let out a deep breath.

When he walked in, the shower was already on, the room was already full of steam, and Bonnie was already standing beneath the shower head with her eyes shut as she relished in the hot water for a moment before lathering up. He watched her for a moment—every perfect curve, roll, fold, muscle—and when he finally stepped in, she smiled as he pulled the door shut behind him. Her body was sudsy, and her smile was bright, while he continued to roam over her soaking wet frame.

"I thought I scared you off."

He lifted a brow as he stepped in closer and stood beneath the shower head with her, as her hands landed to his chest and his hair immediately slicked back.

"With the whole… coming inside of me, thing," she said before she bit her lip and he picked up the shower sponge and filled it with soap. "When I asked you to do that, I was… trying to live in the moment. I didn't mean to freak you out I've just… never done that before. And we've never talked about it," she swallowed as the sponge met her back and he ran it over her skin slowly as she exhaled looking up into his eyes.

"I liked it," he admitted, and she felt a smile forming on his lips. "And I've never done that either… or this," he said surprisingly. "It looks like we've finally found our own thing, Bennett."

"Looks like we have," she whispered, and he dropped the sponge to the ground and pressed her against the wall.

His lips formed against hers and Bonnie's arms wrapped around his strong shoulders and within seconds, they were having sex again. It was wet, carnal, and skin slapping as he took her from behind this time, and Bonnie gripped onto the tile when he eased into her; her moans and gasps instantly getting him off again as he held her hair and throat and anything else he could grab while the water beaded down onto them both for the next fifteen minutes.

He kissed her shoulders and the top of her head when they finished. And just like that they were back to lathering up, to start this process all over again and he looked into her eyes, wondering just how he'd gotten so lucky when he stared right back at him.

The world may have been shit. But it didn't have to be, for them. And for the first time, he truly believed this would be the start of something new, as Bonnie laughed when he nibbled at her neck before kissing it slowly, just where he'd previously left those hickies. He felt like a kid, all happy and blissful and he'd be fooling himself if he believed any of this would be possible without her.

There was no him without her. And in that moment, he knew she felt the same way.

It'd taken twelve long years, but she felt the _exact _same way.

**A/N: anddddd that's all folks! LOL jk, that's all for this chapter. There's definitely more to come but I decided to leave y'all on a happy note (for once) to lead us all into the New Year and thank you guys for being such loyal, dedicated, vocal readers of my story. Thank you for continuously inspiring me to keep up with this and I hope that the long anticipated official START of Damon and Bonnie as a couple was well worth the tears, anger, and wait because this was one of my favorite chapters to write so far. Anyone shocked by Stefan's reaction? Let's hope his pretentious ass comes around, eventually. Poor Bonnie, getting suspended after all that, but what do you think she'll do for the next six months? Is she better off resigning and getting the hell out of dodge? Only time will tell. Next chapter, Christmas is finallllly here and we will get to see Bonnie's family and their reactions to the news that DAMON SALVATORE IS FINALLY HER BOYFRIEND. That's probably not gonna go well, lolol. What do you think he got her for Christmas? I promise it's good and no it's not a baby lmao. Read, review, and as always until next time. Xoxo **


	8. Chapter 8

**Lover**

_I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need,_

Damon finished washing and drying his face and he turned off the faucet in his bathroom as his footsteps followed the very _loud _Christmas music that was coming from the kitchen of the boarding house, as he made his way down the steps.

_I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree,_

He smirked when he quietly walked into the kitchen and he heard _her_ singing along, _loudly, _as she danced around with a mixing bowl in hand, dressed in just a pair of tube socks and his red flannel shirt. He had to admit she looked sexy and _silly_ as all hell, and that was a part of the reason Bonnie Bennett was such a turn on to him. She was a fucking _nerd; _but a smoking _hot _one, and he couldn't pretend he wasn't the luckiest man on the planet to have struck gold with a woman who knew how to wear a pair of stiletto heels but also liked to argue about conspiracy theories, while she was putting on her face mask before bed.

Damon watched on in quiet amusement and amazement as she reached into his oven with a mitt on and pulled out a tray of freshly baked muffins. He let out a soft laugh as she continued to hop around happily, putting on a show for no one but herself, before she finally spun around and saw him standing there, with a huge grin on his face that she couldn't help but reciprocate when she realized he had indeed been here for quite a few minutes, watching her dancing and singing to Mariah Carey, like the crazy person that she was.

Instead of stopping like any normal person would've, Bonnie grabbed a ladle and held it like a microphone as she continued on, approaching him, with a serious but theatrical look in her eyes as she sang.

"_I just want you for my own, moooooooore than you could ever know," _she sang as dramatically as possible and Damon started to laugh as she did some ridiculous hip-gyration in his direction as she got closer and closer and he held up both his hands to shield himself as she wrapped an arm—and a leg— around him, as if he were a fucking stripper pole. "_Make my wish come trueeeeeee_,"

"Get off of me, you weirdo," he said between laughs and Bonnie laughed as well holding onto him tighter, like a koala on a gum tree.

"_All I want for Christmas is youuuuuu, you, baby!"_

"I swear to God, if you weren't so _hot_, I'd throw you right out of my house," he shouted over the music and she bit back a knowing smile as she threw both of her arms over his shoulders and he held her by the waist as the song finally ended and he could finally hear himself think again.

"Did I wake you?"

"I think you woke up the entire state of Virginia with that rendition," he said and she scoffed as he looked around at the table and noticed an entire spread of food before he looked back into her eyes with furrowed brows. "How _long _have you been awake anyway?"

"Just a few hours. I couldn't sleep. I was too excited," she babbled and he instantly knew that Bonnie was running on at minimum five cups of coffee—_or cocaine—_as she bounced on her heels happily and he couldn't help but smile in response at the childlike gleam in her eyes. "It's Christmas, Damon. Our _first _Christmas together," she said and he nodded with a laugh. "And I just wanted to make you breakfast. I guess as a preliminary _thank you _for coming tonight to dinner with my family," she eased as her hands landed on his bare chest. "Are you sure you're up to this? I know I invited you when we were just…"

"Fuck buddies?"

"Precisely and if you think this is too much too soon because we literally _just _became official, I get it. We are _a lot_—"

"I'm going, Bonnie. I haven't changed my mind, and there's no way I'd miss a chance to shoot the shit with my girl, Sheila," he reassured and she smiled as a slower Christmas song started over the speakers and he took her hands into his, pulling her in closer. "She sent me a text last night to remind me that I owe her a drink."

Bonnie snorted at that as they slowly swayed in the kitchen; the morning sun rays filtered through the shades and she looked into his bright blue eyes.

"My grandmother's texting you, now? How? And more importantly why? What are you two up to?"

"You jealous? She's pretty hot. And I heard she's rich as hell. Maybe I'm just securing my place in the Bennett bloodline, just in case things don't work out with you," he joked and Bonnie smiled though she rolled her eyes as he pulled her in closer to his chest and her head rested against his heart. "Thank you for breakfast," he added sincerely and she smiled as her arms still hugged him and they continued to move. "I appreciate it. And _you. _And I'm thrilled to be your guest tonight. There's no place else I'd rather be."

Bonnie smiled against his shirt.

The sweet aroma of pancakes, eggs, bacon, muffins, cinnamon buns, and hot cocoa filled the room.

He had to admit, Bonnie knew how to cook one hell of a meal, as she had been spoiling him with them since the official "start" of their relationship, and he warned her he was no longer going to have the six-pack abs that she so verbally adored if she kept feeding him the way that she did, nearly every single morning. But he knew he was also full of shit, because he loved the fact that she was thoughtful, an early riser,_ and surprisingly, such a fucking sap,_ because that meant that there was always some form of a cooked plate or baked good on the table, even when she was rushing out the door to run some errands or do last minute gift shopping.

The last week had been absolute bliss and he couldn't find one thing to complain about—other than the fact that his diet had gone to shit—because Bonnie Bennett had breathed an all new life and _love_ into him that he didn't know was possible, until he had the pleasure of calling himself _hers. _

They had the "talk" after having sex for the first time—_several times—_that night following the gala and just like that they were finally ready to be together. It almost seemed too simple, he recalled, as he laid next to her in bed after their shower, stroking her hair and staring into her eyes, as if it were the first time he'd seen them before. She asked what he was thinking. He flat out _asked her _if he was her boyfriend and he almost felt stupid saying the words because to him, they sounded dumb and trivial falling from his lips.

But when she said it—when she said _yes, you are my boyfriend—_it sounded like magic; the angels above singing a beautiful hymn that had fallen onto his no longer deaf ears, and settled into his heart as he grabbed her hands and kissed them softly. Bonnie was biting back her grin all the while.

And that was it. There were no fireworks—if he didn't count the ones happening in his head—and he breathed a sigh of relief when he realized that maybe they were due for some simplicity after the long, winding, complicated road they had taken to get here. Maybe, this was when things started to get easy.

Damon spun her into his arms and Bonnie's back pressed to his chest as she rocked side to side and his hands hugged around her tiny frame. His lips met the top of her messy bun.

"I should warn you. My dad can be a little… _intense _when I'm dating someone," she eased and he ticked his jaw as they still continued to sway. "He starts asking _a lot _of questions. Oversteps his place, quite a bit."

"Your _former police chief-turned-politician _of a dad gets _intense _about men showing an interest in his _extremely good looking, successful, and intelligent daughter?_ Who would've thought," he said sarcastically and she groaned before turning to face him.

"I'm serious. He… likes you as my _friend, _Damon. He's never had a bad thing to say about you all these years but us being _together…_ this is different. He's got ridiculously high standards for me. And after everything that's happened I just… I _know_ he's gonna give you a hard time," she said and Damon cupped her face with his hands and he saw actual genuine worry in her eyes as he looked back at her. "He thought Enzo was my soulmate. He still does, despite me leaving him at an altar. It's going to take a lot to change his mind and I just hope you're up for it because I am. I want to prove it to him that I didn't make the wrong choice."

"I understand," he replied softly and she tugged at her bottom lip with her teeth.

He knew this moment was coming, the moment Bonnie's mother, Abby, called to confirm if Bonnie was bringing a guest to dinner and she said yes, though she was hesitant, even after Damon reassured her that he was happy to still go. Bonnie had been his best friend all of his life and as a result he knew all of her immediate family members and a good portion of her aunts, uncles, and cousins from social gatherings over the years and of course, events that happened prior to the wedding. But they all knew him as Bonnie's _friend;_ not her lover. And certainly not the man that she would ultimately cancel said wedding for, because she was harboring deeper feelings for him than she realized, probably long before the night that they slept together.

Nevertheless, Damon needed to make a good impression. He couldn't risk screwing this up knowing just how much her family's opinion meant to her; how much their _approval and acceptance _shaped who she was as a woman, despite the fact that she trying to convince herself she wouldn't let it get to her if things didn't go entirely as planned.

He knew which family members liked him—like her Aunt Gloria from Chicago, and her cousin Lucy who lived in Atlanta. Tessa and Emily, her cousins from Los Angeles, however, were both basically the devil's spawns and naturally preferred Stefan's company to his, anytime they were on the East Coast and Damon couldn't say there were any hurt feelings; he couldn't fucking stand them either. But he knew they were both big fans of Enzo and probably wouldn't be shy about bringing him up or asking Bonnie if she was sure Damon was the right choice.

Luka, her cousin from Tampa, was decent but quiet, as was Beatrice, from Portland; she was a total hippie who showed up stoned to _everything_ and their family just kind of accepted it at this point, according to Bonnie. But she thought Damon was cool—_she told him he had a good vibe—_and he was happy to accept another person in his corner who wouldn't look at him like he was Lucifer himself, for setting Bonnie's life on such a path of craziness and chaos, just because he dared to be in love with her.

But Damon didn't know what else or who else to expect and if Rudy really _was _going to be as much of a hard ass as Bonnie was warning, he was going to have his work cut out for him tonight. His father Giuseppe had been great friends with Bonnie's father, growing up. After all, Damon's dad was responsible for half of the architecture and infrastructure that existed in Mystic Falls, because of his construction company that spanned through generations of Salvatores, until he finally retired to live in Italy. Giuseppe had always been privy to Mayor Hopkins' plans for the town and the two made a great match when they were both still around, with continuous projects to beautify Mystic Falls, making it one of the most desirable suburbs to live not just in Virginia, but in the country, according to the _US News Reports. _

Damon hoped that Rudy's admiration for his father coupled with the fact that he'd known Damon since he was in _diapers_ would help ease the fatherly instinct that he had to interrogate him about his intentions with his only daughter.

It didn't help that Damon had a hand in Bonnie being suspended from her job, but he could only _hope _that his actions to protect her earned his a few brownie points, because in the end, he really was just trying to defend her honor. And he prayed Rudy would see him as someone who was good—_and good enough_—for her. Not just some white, privileged, reckless asshole, who was inadvertently ruining Bonnie's perfect life.

"I promise, I will do _anything _that I need to do, to get your father's blessing," he said and she smiled as his thumbs stroked her jaw. "Should I wear a tie?"

"Absolutely," she nodded as he did in understanding. "But nothing flashy. He hates patterns."

"I've got just the one, then. What else? He likes Scotch?"

"He loves it. _Balvenie Portwood 21_ is his favorite_," _she said, as she still thought. "He also really likes _Glendronach, _and _Old Pulteney,_" she informed and Damon nodded. "You've heard of them, I assume?"

"Heard if them? I happen to have 3 out of 3 in the cellar," he said and she sighed with relief before offering a smile. "I've got this Bon. I promise. I will make a good impression on your family. Or I will die trying."

"Don't die please," she said and he smiled softly as she stroked his hair. "But speaking of family… have you heard from Stefan this morning? Caroline FaceTime'd me earlier, with the boys… They loved the drone you got them," she confirmed, and Damon shook his head as he met her eyes.

"I haven't heard from him. It's been a week. We're on a 'brother break,' remember?"

"Damon…"

"He wants me to be someone that I'm not, Bonnie, and there's nothing I can do about that. In Stefan's perfect world, you and I never would've gotten together so he'd get to still ride his Harley around with Enzo," he said, realizing a slight bit of envy for her ex was creeping into his tone. "He admires him in a way that he doesn't admire me, Bon. I've known it since they met. There's no use trying to plead my case when it won't change how he feels. Enzo is the victim and I'm the asshole who ruined his life."

"_I'm _the asshole who ruined Enzo's life," she corrected him as they stopped dancing and he followed her eyes. "And Stefan is _your _brother, Damon and… this time of the year is about _family, _not the mass consumerism that overshadows that. I know that what he said hurt you and I'm not asking you to kiss his ass because he's wrong. You're _not _cruel and you are _not_ unkind," she echoed the words Damon and had told her when they finally talked about his conversation with Stefan, at length. "You do have a big heart, despite what everyone thinks. And… I'm just asking you not to close your heart off to him when he _does _come around, because you know he will. Especially if Caroline has something to do with it."

Damon sighed but he nodded as he followed the sincerity in her eyes before she leaned in and gave him a long hug. He shut his eyes and exhaled as he felt her arms gripping onto him tightly while they stood in an easy, comfortable silence.

She was right. He couldn't shut Stefan out, no matter how much he wanted to, and he knew he'd be here when his brother finally decided to come around. Whether that be in ten days or ten years. He loved him; he always would. Even if he didn't _like _him very much right now.

"But for now," she smoothed her palm against his, as a Frank Sinatra song started and he reopened his eyes to capture her gaze. "Let's just try to enjoy the day. Crazy ass, dysfunctional family drama, aside."

"I can do that," he said gently and she continued to trace her index along his palm. "Tonight, after all the family stuff is over, I figured we could come back here. And I can give you your Christmas present," he said and she immediately whined as she met his eyes. "What's the frown about, McPouty?"

"I have to wait until _tonight? _Why? You got to open yours _yesterday_."

"Yeah, because you asked me if I wanted to open it, _fifteen_ times, until I finally agreed," he replied as she smiled innocently. "And I loved it. Thank you. It's right up my alley, you know me well," he said, of the vintage record player she'd gotten him, coupled with a few of his favorite albums, ranging from artists like Muse to Miles and Coltrane. "But I can't let you open your gift yet. That's just how the Salvatore's do it," he dotted her nose with his index. "Build the anticipation, make you sweat it out—"

"Oh okay, I get it. So, your gift giving mirrors your _foreplay_? Good to know."

"Mirrors and foreplay, is that what you said? I can get behind that. Or _you. _Right now, if you want."

"_That's not at all what I said—" _she squealed as Damon threw her over his shoulder and his hand slapped her ass as she laughed while he spun her around. "Put me down, Damon! Or I swear I'll—"

He plopped her onto the marble counter before she could get into a long string of death threats and she punched his muscular arm with a smile as he smirked. His hands landed at her sides and she begrudgingly admired his half-naked frame, dressed in just a pair of boxer briefs and a lazy but sexy smile crossing his pink lips.

"What are you gonna do?" He asked lowly and she inhaled a deep breath as she looked into his devastatingly perfect eyes, desperately trying to peel her gaze away from his body, though she quickly envisioned all of he things she wouldn't mind doing to it right now.

One of the best things about dating Damon—besides the laughs, intellectual stimulation, and ridiculously _hot_ sex— was the fact that he just never really bothered to wear that many clothes at home. She had non-stop eye candy to look at the entire day, as he traipsed around in his underwear—sometimes less— until she finally got horny enough to rile him up into a debate about something inconsequential, just because she was bored and it was funny. He was admittedly at his hottest when he was _raging on _about something and it was a turn on for her watching him get worked up about a topic she brought up but ultimately didn't even care about to begin with. She'd argued with him about the ending to _The Sopranos_ for an hour last night, just because she wanted the entertainment, despite the fact that she'd only seen one episode in her life, which just so happened to be the finale.

It was just all fun and games, in her opinion, even though Damon, more often than not, spiraled into a very articulate, nuanced, passionate argument for why he was right, and at the end of the day she always respected what he felt, even if she didn't agree. Or know what the hell he was even talking about.

_Except_ for the time they argued about whether you should pour the cereal or the milk first and she found out after 29 years of knowing him that he was a milk-first-kind-of-guy. And she just couldn't quite believe she had fallen in love with was a man who poured his milk into the bowl _without_ measuring out his cereal. And _that_ was the real reason she was cooking him breakfast so often. Because clearly, he wanted to watch the world burn. And he might have actually been a lunatic.

But for as much of a _psychopath_ that she now knew that he was, she still couldn't help how attracted she was to him, as he leaned in and kissed her slowly; allowing her arms and legs to wrap around him in an instant as they began make out.

There was just something about him—from those eyes to those hands—that she couldn't get enough of and he knew it, as Damon moaned softly against her lips because he knew that she liked that, and she peppered him with soft, drawn out kisses, with little or no breaks in between them. His hand was already trailing up her shirt towards her chest where he happily discovered she wasn't wearing a bra and his fingers grazed along her nipples. She bit her lip at that as he continued to touch them and she pulled him in even closer with a grin as a gentle breath escaped her mouth.

His mouth latched onto her neck and she let out a satisfied sigh when he bit her skin softly—tugging at it with his canines—before his tongue drew small circles and she gripped strongly onto his back. His muscles flexed easily beneath her touch.

His mouth met hers again—deeply devouring her into another kiss, easily getting lost in this just as he always did—but before it could get _too _good, he heard his phone ringing on the counter and he groaned when she separated their lips and kissed his cheek sweetly, before urging him to answer. He did, but only because she asked him to.

Bonnie hopped down from the counter and began to clean up as he grabbed the iPhone and accepted the FaceTime call from none other than his sister Sarah, as she squealed so loudly into the receiver when he answered she almost blew out his eardrum.

That had been a constant battle growing up; the girl never really did bother to use her inside voice and more often than not, Damon usually got caught sneaking back in after curfew in high school because Sarah accidentally blew up his spot. He loved her with all of his heart. But the girl was a snitch. She always meant well, though, and he could never get mad at her. Even if she did get him grounded every other week with Giuseppe.

"Merry Christmas D!" she yelled he couldn't help but smile when he saw her face—it'd been weeks since he saw her last. "I miss you, how are you?"she studied his him slowly, before lifting a suspicious brow. "And what are you doing? I hear Christmas music. You _hate _Christmas music."

_Goddamn this girl was observant. _

"I miss you too. And you're right, I do. But I was trying to get into the Christmas spirit. I was just about to eat breakfast," that wasn't a lie, he figured, since he had been just about ready to dine on _Bonnie_ indeed, and he cleared his throat. "What are you up to? How's Italy?"

"Amazing. Dad's taking Matt and I to San Gimignano later to see all those cool medieval castles," she said and Damon nodded. "Have I missed anything back home? How's Stefan"

"Home is good. Nothing out of the ordinary," he started and he watched as she suddenly scrunched her forehead, and looked behind him. "What?"

"Is that Bonnie in the kitchen? In your _flannel_?"

_Shit_.

"Hi!" Bonnie spun around, with a slice of bacon half hanging out of her mouth, as she totally didn't realize she was in the frame of the video phone call and Damon shot her an apologetic glance as she waved at Sarah quickly. "Merry Christmas! I'm gonna go put on some pants."

The second Bonnie scurried out the room Sarah's eyes grew wide with amusement and her mouth immediately dropped.

"_Damon… _That's ordinary, to you?"

"We're_ not _havingthis conversation over FaceTime," he started but she continued anyway as a grin spread across her face. "Sarah, I mean it—"

"Are you two…? Hold on. _Whaaaaaaaat. _Does dad know? Because he totally fucking called it when I told him Bonnie called off the wedding. Where's your shirt by the way? Ew, oh my god… _Were y'all just fuckin'?_"

"Why are you _so loud_," he whispered between his teeth as he lowered the volume and Sarah's giddy reaction continued to grow by the millisecond. "And please tell me you're _not_ asking me about this in front of Donovan."

"I am. He's right here. Say hi, Matty!" She shoved the phone in his face and Matt waved happily as Damon rolled his eyes and waved back with a forced smile, before Sarah returned to the screen.

He couldn't believe that man was potentially going to marry into his family, one day.

"Oh my God, Damon! You and _Bonnie. _Bonnie and _you. _Honestly? About time. This is the best Christmas news _ever_—"

"Hi, yes. I'm happy you're happy. Okay listen. I need to _go _now, Sar—"

"Is she your girlfriend? So she's like _done-done _with Enzo, then? Because I mean no offense but he was kind of just _hot _with a British accent but a total _snooze_. And you've been _in love _with her since you could walk, Dad said. Did you know you told him you were going to marry Bonnie, when you were like five years old? So _adorable," _she smiled and he wanted to bash his head into a wall. "So give me the scoop—what happened? You _can't_ leave me hanging like this!"

"Can and will. I gotta go. Talk to you later, I love you, bye now," he hung up against her protests and Damon sighed as he dropped his phone on the counter and he looked up to see Bonnie toeing her way hesitantly back into the kitchen as he scratched his head and dropped his arms. "You… haven't put on pants so I'm guessing you heard all of that didn't you?"

"_Every_ word," she nodded with a smirk and he groaned as she walked over to him slowly, and dotted his nose with her index. "Your _Dad _knows how you feel about me?" She asked and he sighed as she folded her arms." You said we were going to get _married?_"

"I was five. I thought it just meant I'd be able to have more play dates with you."

"Uh huh," she said unconvinced before she spoke again. "I'm surprised you talked to your dad about it, ever. Giuseppe always seemed so…"

"Impenetrable? He is, when he wants to be. But in my defense, he talked to _me_ about it, not the other way around," he admitted and she lifted a brow. "At your… engagement party," he revealed as Bonnie listened on and he swallowed hard. "He saw that I was miserable and rightfully so. I was supposed to be celebrating you and Enzo but I couldn't. And Elena and I were fighting, _again. _And _Pepe_ read me, like a fucking book… which I'm thankful for in hindsight. Because I… probably never would've worked up the courage to dump Elena, _for good_, if he didn't remind me of what _she_ deserved… and _who_ I really wanted."

Bonnie swallowed hard at that as Damon moved even closer to her and her body froze at the sudden intensity in his stare when his hand met her jaw and his fingers slowly traced against her cheek.

The look in his eyes could move mountains.

"You would've spoken up eventually, Damon."

"Yeah, maybe after you got _actually _got married, then had kids and put them through college… I was terrified," he admitted before shaking his head. "But I'm not anymore. I can't be because… I want to be the _man_ that you deserve, Bonnie… Now and… _forever_," he said as she bit her lip silently. "You are the most important person in my life… You always have been and… I know I sound like a broken record when I say it but… I've dreamed about this, Bon, for so _goddamn long_ and finally working up the courage to just be _honest _with you is something I thought I'd never do. Because I never thought in my wildest dreams that you'd choose _me _and you did_," _he said earnestly and she melted within his touch, as he continued to barrel directly into her eyes. "And that's the best Christmas gift of them all, so… _thank you. _And… I promise, I won't make you regret it."

She nodded softly, _wordlessly_, as she took a moment to take in a deep breath and his lips pressed ever-so-sweetly to her forehead before he dropped his hand and offered a genuine smile.

She smiled too, as he followed her eyes shyly before saying another word.

"Are you ready for breakfast? And can I turn off this dreadful music?" He asked and Bonnie laughed as she took a step in, both hands landing to his bare chest and slowly smoothing down his stomach, stopping just short of his boxers waistband.

"Yes to breakfast. And no to the music… You're not gonna be able to hear it anyway."

"Why wouldn't I hear it? It's _loud—"_

"I can be louder," she said lightly and he furrowed both brows but then immediately caught her drift as her hands continued to dance at his waist.

In an instant swept her up into his arms while Bonnie giggled and the sounds of laughter echoed through the home, as he climbed the staircase with her body pressed to his, and his lips already crashing against hers.

The composition of sounds, touches, and tastes battered his senses as he got her to his bed, and tore open the flannel shirt, watching the buttons fly in every which direction before she pulled him in on top of her and kissed his lips.

He made love to her, slowly, as her hands grasped onto his and their bodies moved in synchronized rhythm, until it was all over and he collapsed into the pillows beside her.

Damon couldn't imagine how he'd once gone through his life without this. He couldn't _fathom _how he'd gone so long choosing sex _or_ love—settling on the fact that he was never going to have both, in a happy, healthy, and functional relationship.

Until this started with Bonnie.

He didn't have to choose, because they had both. He didn't have to stay for the love like she did with Enzo and he didn't have to stay for the sex and bad habits, like he did Elena.

With Bonnie, he had everything he wanted because she was the right person, for him, all wrapped up in one. She was perfect to him, despite how imperfect she was and he accepted that. There wasn't any part of her that he _wouldn't _accept and that's how he knew he didn't just _love _sleeping with her, but he in fact loved her too.

Even if she listened to Christmas music 24/7 during the months of November and December.

But right now, it was the last of his concerns, as she slid onto his lap, naked, and he bit back a smile as she slowly started to grind her hips on top of him, tempting him to oblige her just one last time before they needed to get up and get ready for the rest of the day. Bonnie had to go to church with her family in two hours and she'd definitely need to repent, after all that they'd been up to.

He sat up and caught her lips in a hungry kiss as she moaned his name against his mouth; her nails created a trail of fresh scratches straight down his spine. He _punished _her for that with one of her favorite positions, as her back landed against the bed and he pulled her legs over his shoulders. Bonnie looked into his ravenous eyes and smiled sinfully before he proceeded to push back into her, deeply, his hands slowly wrapping around her throat, just the way that she liked.

And she was right; he didn't hear _any _of the Christmas music from his bedroom, where the sounds of her moans filled his head, like a perfect, harmonious symphony, that would never and couldn't ever be matched by anything else. It was the only thing he could hear.

_And thank God for that, when that dumbass Mariah Carey song played on loop again, for probably the fifteenth time that morning. _

**XXXXX**

"_Hey."_

"_Hey. Thanks for meeting me."_

Stefan didn't respond to that, as he eased into his seat at the table at the Mystic Grill and his eyes met those of the dark-haired man with the thick unshaven black beard ahead of him.

Stefan swallowed hard and ordered a coffee with the waitress before turning back towards Enzo, as his fingers tapped slowly against the table; the light chatter of the other patrons filled the long silence between them before he finally spoke. There was a mixture of dejection and tranquility in his eyes. A far cry from the story of the man who humiliated and degraded Bonnie at the winter gala.

"Merry Christmas," he forced a lackluster smile onto his lips and Stefan nodded as he clinked his mug, never dropping the gaze from his stare.

"Merry Christmas."

"How are the boys? Loving the holiday, I assume," Enzo said, in a poor attempt at small talk, and Stefan nodded as he reached for his phone to show him a picture.

"Yeah, they're with Caroline right now. She took them to the park to try out the new drone they got," he said and Enzo smiled at the photo of the twins grinning brightly with their new toy in hand and Caroline's arms around their shoulders.

"That's great. Santa was very _generous_ from the sounds of it."

"Yeah it was Damon, actually…" he trailed off and the man pressed his lips shut as Stefan continued. "I heard what happened, at the gala. I'm… sorry that's how you had to find out about… my brother and Bonnie." Enzo scratched his hair with a shrug. "How are you doing?"

"Aside from the devastating sense of regret and self-despair? Okay, I guess," he said and Stefan frowned. "Is it weird to feel _remorse _for how I reacted, whilst simultaneously an overwhelming amount of repulsion and disgust, towards them both?" he asked softly as Stefan read his eyes. "I feel bad that she got suspended. I do. Damon and I should've resolved it at a different time and place but…" he gripped the spoon at his place setting and Stefan continued to follow his eyes as they slowly went dark and his voice became low. "She _fucked him_, Stefan. Behind my back. Repeatedly. She cheated on me the _night before our wedding. _She didn't _care _about me the way I cared for her. And yeah, I flew off the handle, I admit my temper is something I need to work on. But… she broke my heart and… she doesn't seem to give a damn about it."

"I-I _know."_

"She ruined me. I would've done anything for Bonnie, and I have… I've poured my entire _being _into our relationship, giving her anything and everything she's ever wanted but it wasn't enough. _I _wasn't enough," he said shaking his head and inhaling a deep breath. "She's _always_ been in love with him, hasn't she?"

"I can't answer that for her, Enzo. I don't know what led to this."

Enzo gripped his coffee mug tightly while Stefan watched on.

"I know it's no justification. There'll never be one for how I spoke to her. But hearing that—the fact that she _loved _him, while I am very much still in love with her… I saw _red. _I didn't care what I said or did in that moment because I wanted to hurt her and I did. I wanted to destroy her. Just like she destroyed me," he said honestly and Stefan exhaled as he nodded his head. "How could I possibly still love someone whose treated me this badly? I'm a hopeless idiot."

"I get why you're mad, Enzo. Trust me, Damon and I had words over it."

"You spoke to Damon about this?"

"Of course I did. He's my brother and I expected better from him. I… feel like sometimes I have unrealistic expectations when it comes to him. Because I've always looked up to him. He was my rock, when our mom died and our dad started to drink and shut us out," Stefan revealed as Enzo listened and Stefan licked his teeth. "Damon could do no wrong at that point, for me, so it's just always the way I've chosen to see him— as someone who fixes things and I know that's my problem. He's not perfect. He really did fuck you over and you're justified to feel the way you feel, Enzo."

And he was being honest about that. It took a less-than-gentle probing from his wife to finally come to terms with why he was so insistent on dissecting Damon's every action and Caroline had not been shy about ripping him a new one for being so cold towards him during their last conversation. Stefan just couldn't let Damon be _him, _she said, ultimately because of the weird, fucked up pedestal he had him on, since they were kids. Damon took care of him in a lot of ways his father could not, when his grief crippled him, and he dug his hands even harder into his work to distract himself from the fact that his wife and the mother of his children was dead, just like that. And with all of the money in the world, still, there was nothing he could do to change it. He was here, all alone, raising two boys to be men when he didn't feel like much of one himself those days and Damon was the first to realize it, as he often woke up in the middle of the night to find his father passed out on the couch, with a bottle in hand an sometimes even still a lit cigarette.

And it was when Damon decided that he needed to look after his brother because his father could barely look after himself.

Damon took care of Stefan—from packing his lunch for school to helping him with his homework the best he knew how— and at nine years old, he knew that wasn't the type of pressure that should've been placed on his brother's shoulders. Especially not when the only person looking out for _Damon's _well-being was Bonnie Bennett. It took Stefan up until this week to realize it—_and truthfully he still hadn't thought about it until Caroline suggested it—_but perhaps his brother latched onto his love for her so _hard_ because she was the only person who could pull him out of the dark place he was slowly succumbing to, as the years rolled on and it set in that his mother was really gone. Stefan still kept Damon up on that crumbling pedestal, many years later, without ever taking into account that his brother was damaged and had changed. And maybe that was his fault, for not adapting his view of him with how his experiences shaped him.

He was so desperate for Bonnie's love because it had been what kept him alive. And he didn't give a damn who stood in the way—even if it were Enzo—because he'd felt this way about her all his life. Even if he struggled to admit it to himself. Stefan knew that Damon was wrong for what he did but he was slowly allowing himself to come around and understand him. And he thanked his lucky stars he'd married a woman who sometimes knew him better than he knew himself. Because she talked quite a bit of rationalization into him over the past week. And he was starting to regret the way he walked out on his brother.

"But?" Enzo asked, in response to Stefan's words and he pulled himself out of his thoughts.

There was a long silence between them as Stefan took a breath and met his eyes.

"You took it too far, with Bonnie," he said as Enzo listened on. "What you said to her, in front of her colleagues and bosses was fucking disgusting. Even if she _did_ do something horrible. She's a human being, Enzo; one who has been my friend for years and you can't talk to a woman like that. And you definitely shouldn't—"

"Grab them or get into their faces either," Enzo filled in and Stefan remained silent. "I'm… trying to rectify it with myself Stefan, believe me. Because I know that I shouldn't have done that. It was a slight _second _but that's all it took because I intimidated her. She was afraid of me. And it hurts knowing that… it's hard to come to terms with the fact that I still love her and I _know _I'd never hurt her physically. But she thinks that I could… she and Damon both believed that I would that night."

The silence between them grew uncomfortable for a moment before Stefan finally spoke.

"So, what now? What are you going to do?"

"Get out of town for a bit," Enzo revealed. "I just need some time to clear my head and my heart and… move on from Bonnie. I've got friends back in Boston, who invited me up for the New Year and I think it'll be good for me… I think it's for the best if I just disappear for a while."

Stefan nodded his head as his hands clutched his coffee mug, as he looked into his sleep-deprived eyes and nodded.

"Yeah. Maybe that is for the best," he responded in agreement.

**XXXXX**

"_Are you ready for this?"_

Damon turned to face Bonnie with a confident smile, as he slammed her car door shut behind her and he grabbed her free hand as she took a deep breath in. They walked up the long cobblestone driveway, to her grandmother's two story French provincial style home, hand in hand, and suddenly her heart was beating out of her chest as her mind raced a mile a minute.

The beige castle-like house was professionally decorated with white Christmas lights and décor on the outside and Damon admittedly marveled at the time and effort that had gone into making this place look so beautiful because it wasn't anything short of spectacular. It was absolutely _stunning _and so far he had only seen the outside, when they finally made it to the door and Bonnie exhaled before she pressed her manicured finger to the bell.

Damon turned to face her—he instinctively kissed the top of her palm softly as she trembled, looking into his eyes.

"You look heavenly, baby," he whispered and she smiled gently before looking into his eyes and squeezing his hand tightly.

"So do you… _baby_," she echoed and he immediately smiled, pink at the cheeks, because he wasn't sure he'd ever called her that out loud, though he was always thinking it in his head. "Thank you for coming."

"No place I'd rather be."

The door finally opened and they were greeted with joyful screams, as Bonnie's cousin Lucy threw her arms around her shoulders and kissed her warmly on the cheek. She then turned her attention to Damon with a hug for him as well that he happily reciprocated as they walked into the foyer and she helped them with bags and coats while the hustle and bustle of the home only seemed to get louder the moment they walked in.

"I'm so happy you two could make it," Lucy said as Bonnie smiled and Damon stood quietly behind her, losing track of their conversation and surveying the home, though he'd been here many times in the past as a kid.

It was where Bonnie had unofficially grown up, whenever her parents were out of town on business or taking a couples only trip. The lively atmosphere brought back good memories for him as well, as he looked up in remembrance at the spiral staircase that led to the second floor—the one he and Bonnie often played on as kids, despite how many times Sheila told them not to, because they were likely break their necks. He was brought down from his own thoughts when he realized Lucy was asking him if he wanted a drink and he declined politely as she smiled before walking off to go grab Bonnie a glass of wine.

He decided beforehand that other than the drink he owed Sheila, tonight was going to be another sober night. The last thing he needed was to say or do something stupid on the one night when she needed him to be _perfect_, so the news of them being together would go smoothly. When Lucy came back she asked the inevitable—_if they were officially seeing each other—_and when both Damon and Bonnie confirmed with a nod she clapped happily, admitting she had been wanting this for a _long _time. She also made them promise to come visit her in Atlanta before she stalked off to help someone open another bottle of wine and Damon squeezed Bonnie's hand as she smiled.

The two exchanged pleasantries with every person there—even Tessa and Emily who had cornered themselves in the living room to take selfies and gossip when they saw Bonnie introducing Damon as her boyfriend. They were nice enough when Bonnie approached them—_or fake, whatever—_but she didn't have time to dwell on it or care because at the end of the day their opinions didn't matter. Only he did. And just how happy he had made her by coming tonight.

His fear began to dissipate with each warm welcome he received in return and he noticed the audible sigh of relief she let out under her breath when they'd finally finished making their rounds. She only had her Mom, Dad, and Grams to tackle. And it seemed they'd finally get their chance, as they made it to the kitchen, where her grandmother was pulling the sweet potatoes out of the oven with Abby's assistance, and Rudy was slicing up the pork with a giant butcher's knife in hand.

Because that's _exactly _what Damon needed to ease his nerves; her Dad wielding a machete as he walked in the door.

"Hey guys," Bonnie said in a bubbly tone, expertly hiding the traces of fear in her voice, as all three halted their conversation to face she and Damon. "What can we help with?"

Sheila was the first to walk over with a huge and warm smile as she gave Bonnie and long hug, rocking her side to side before she let go and faced Damon.

"Hi stranger," she said to him with a knowing grin and he smiled before he reached in for a hug as well and Sheila planted a kiss on his cheek. "30 whole years and you finally made it to a Bennett-Hopkins Christmas."

"The GPS sent me the wrong way," he joked and she rolled her eyes playfully. "Thank you for having me," he nodded and Sheila smiled when she noticed the nervousness in his eyes before he looked up and saw Abby and Rudy just watching him before Bonnie cleared her throat and greeted both her parents.

"Mom, Dad—you know Damon, obviously," she said and they both nodded, as Abby reached in and hugged him as well and Rudy extended his palm to shake his hand firmly as he met his eyes.

"Damon, it's always nice to see you," he said and Damon offered a smile in response.

"You too, Mayor Hopkins."

"Don't be silly. Call me Rudy. I've known you since you were in diapers,"he said and Damon nodded. "Can I get you anything? I know you're a bourbon guy."

"I'm good, thanks. But I did bring something for _you,_" he said as he reached into the bag in his hand and pulled out a bottle of Scotch and Rudy's eyes lightened. "I heard you were an enthusiast and I happened to have a bottle on hand."

"_Balvenie Portwood 21," _Rudy admired, when Damon handed it to him. "You know your stuff."

"Comes with the territory of bar ownership," he smiled and her father did as well.

Bonnie exhaled with relief. Figures Damon would find a way to bond with her Dad over expensive alcohol.

"Save me a drink, for later. After dinner," Rudy said, and Damon nodded immediately.

"Absolutely, sir."

Now he was up to two drinks for tonight.

"Can someone grab these greens?" Sheila interrupted and Damon was the first one over to her grandmother to assist with the food and Abby followed as Bonnie turned to face her Dad who eyed her silently while the other three fussed over the sides at the counter.

"We're due for a talk about him, Bonnie," he said lowly and Bonnie swallowed hard with a nod as she watched Damon walk out of the kitchen with Sheila and Abby to help them put everything out.

"I know, Dad. And I promise we'll talk—"

"You're damn right we will. You lost your _job?_"

"It's an administrative leave," she corrected and he sighed. "But can we just _not _do this today? It's Christmas," she said, and her father ticked his jaw. "And you know how much I _love, _Christmas, right?" she pouted, and her father playfully rolled his eyes as she offered a sickeningly sweet smile before placing a hand on his cheek. "Is that a yes?"

"That's a _you're safe for now,_" he corrected, and Bonnie cheesed as she gave him another hug and he kissed the top of her head before she pulled away.

"And Damon? You're not gonna _grill him _are you?"

"Nice try, but your little boyfriend is the reason you got suspended and he's going to have to answer to me," he said as she sighed, as Sheila walked back into the kitchen with a smile and a clap of her hands.

"Dinner is served, please meet us in the dining room."

Bonnie nodded as she walked out ahead of her dad and made her way over to the long rectangular dinner table. Her eyes found Damon's, and she smiled when he pulled out her chair, garnering an_ aww _from her Aunt Gloria, as Bonnie sat down, and he eased into his own. Her cheeks flushed when she felt him grab her hand under the table and she turned to meet his stare, her voice in a low whisper.

"Laying it on _thick _tonight, huh?"

"Anything for you, _my sweet,_" he winked and Bonnie held in a laugh as she rolled her eyes and they brought their attention to her father, as she asked everyone to bow their heads and hold hands to say grace.

He felt her fingers lace with his own and hold onto them tightly. When the prayer was done, he immediately flashed her a smile and Bonnie did the same.

"_Now _we can eat," Rudy said, and the family rejoiced, as they began passing around the serving spoons and a light bouncy chatter filled the room, as everyone spoke.

Damon got a few questions; about what he did for a living and what his family was up to. He'd even been asked if he was a Christian as well and he answered everything perfectly, including questions about his faith, as he explained that he grew up in a Roman Catholic household but he had never been particularly religious himself—but he wasn't opposed to it.

Bonnie smiled because he seemed to handle the 25 person interrogation pretty well and she even caught Tessa and Emily coming around, when he started talking to them about Game of Thrones, and the three dissected the final season—or more appropriately_ ripped it to shreds. _The girls decided maybe he wasn't _so bad_, because he had a modicum of competency and also believed Sansa Stark should have been the ruler of the Seven Kingdoms, too, without mansplaining his opinion to them.

Damon truly could sell ice to a polar bear, Bonnie decided.

It seemed like the meal was over, just as quickly as it had started, and Bonnie somehow got roped into setting up her cousins Xbox on the big screen, while Damon hung back and helped her Grams with the dishes and clearing the table.

"You're a guest. You should not be cleaning," Sheila chastised him, a few minutes later, and he offered a smile before tending back to the glasses in the sink as he soaped them up in a pair of gloves on, while she loaded the dishwasher.

Sheila picked up the dish cloth and stood beside him, as she grabbed a clean glass and began to dry it off while he still stared ahead.

"I'm kind of a neat freak… and by _kind of, _I mean my pantry is organized in alphabetical order, separated by food genres. I decided to put my talents to good use."

"Good man. The rest of them just sit around on their asses and wait for the women to take care of this stuff," Sheila replied, and he laughed at that. "Bonnie's lucky to have you. Always has been."

"You think so? Even after… everything that's happened?" he asked biting his lip and turning to face her. "I… assume you know…"

"Of course, I know," she confirmed, and he met her deep brown eyes. "I've known you and her were up to something since the wedding. I'm surprised she didn't call it off sooner," she added, and his brows lifted as she continued to dry the champagne flute in her hand. "I saw that blue Chevy Camaro pull into the country club the morning of, and drop her off back at her room—I know that car anywhere, Damon… You two were never good at keeping secrets from me. It's like when you were kids… I replaced so many nice vases on account of you and Bonnie playing around where you weren't supposed to be."

Damon nodded at that and let out a sigh.

"I'm an adult now, who has vases, that are near and dear to me. So, I totally get it, 20 years later," he answered, and she smirked. "If you knew about Bonnie and me, I have to ask… why didn't you say anything?"

"Like you said—you're an adult. Even if I am 50 years your senior… You two can make your own decisions, without everyone else trying to _tell you _how you should feel… You two have been hiding in plain sight, for a while, Damon. I always knew it was only a matter of time before you would come to your senses. But it wasn't my job to make you and Bonnie see that… It was up to you. It's always been up to you."

Damon's mouth went dry at that as he shook his head in slight disbelief, never dropping his stare from her eyes.

"The timing—it was terrible—"

"There's no such thing as good timing, Damon. Either you want something bad enough that you'll go for it, or you don't. But if two people are meant to be together… nothing can or will get in the way of that. Not time, not space, and certainly not other people's opinions," she said, and he exhaled slowly before turning off the faucet.

"I know plenty of _Pinterest_ fanatics who would argue with you that you _can_ meet the right person, at the wrong time."

"If you meet the right person at the wrong time, they're just the wrong person… Because for the _right _person, it doesn't matter when you've met them. All that matters is you make it work. It's not always about being perfect on paper, Damon. You and Bonnie certainly aren't… but you love each other, anyway. You always have. No matter how many successful, handsome, _British _distractions popped up along the way," she winked, and he ticked his jaw. "Find a way to make it work with her, Damon… I know that this is what you've wanted for years… Allow yourself to have it."

Before Damon could answer, Rudy walked into the kitchen, bottle of Scotch in hand, as he met his eyes and gave him a nod.

"It looks like they're setting up the games in the living room, but not quite ready yet… How about that drink, Damon?"

"Of course," he responded before turning back to Sheila who grabbed two tumblers out of the cabinet and handed them to him, before she gave him a soft pat on the back. "I'll finish these dishes up. Thanks for your help."

"Thanks for yours too," he answered with the glasses in hand, before walking off and following Rudy out of the kitchen and down the corridor to the study.

His eyes roamed over the bookcase that lined the wall—catching sight of some familiar titles and a few unfamiliar ones, while Rudy sat down on the couch and poured them both a serving, before Damon finally made his way over.

He thanked him when he placed the glass into his hand and let out a deep breath as Rudy stared resolutely into his eyes.

"Thank you for this," the man said as he placed the bottle of Scotch down and got comfortable in his seat. "I was impressed to see you'd know my favorite kind. I'm sure that was at the urging of my daughter."

"Guilty. Though it has been aging in my cellar, for quite some time so, I guess there was a little work on my part, as well." Rudy nodded and took a sip. "Thank you for having me," Damon said as he followed his eyes. "Your family's great. Your hospitality has been amazing as well."

"Bonnie cares for you, Damon. It's only right," Rudy said as Damon took a sip as well and his finger tapped against the glass. "So, you two are… official, I presume?" her father asked, and Damon swallowed hard but nodded at that, as he straightened his tie.

"Yeah, I… guess that we are. We had the _talk, _last week."

"Where do you see things going with Bonnie?" he asked straight-forwardly, and Damon cleared his throat at the fact that they were skipping the small talk entirely. "Is this just a fling? Are you two just dating with no end in sight? Do you see a future with her?"

"I definitely do, see a future with her," he nodded immediately, clutching the glass in his hand, "I… love and adore your daughter, with every fiber of my being. I can't imagine my life without her," he responded, and Rudy remained stoic. "I know that you're skeptical of me because of what's happened; how _we _happened," he said, and Rudy snorted.

"_Skeptical _would be putting it nicely but continue."

"Fine, you don't think this will work, between her and I… And I understand why. We could've gone about things way differently, just being honest from the start and we didn't. And I… was out of line at the gala, getting into that fight that cost her, her job but… just know that I would never do anything to hurt her. I've _always _only wanted to protect her, and do the right thing, for her. And by her," Damon answered frankly, and Rudy sat up straighter. "Everything that I've done for Bonnie has come from a place of love. I've… loved her for nearly half my life. I don't remember what it's like _not _loving her if I'm honest."

Rudy licked his lips at that before he responded.

"I guess I should at least thank you for defending her that night, at the gala. It's every father's worst nightmare hearing that there was violent altercation and his daughter was involved… In the world we live in, anything can happen. I'm sure you'll understand that when you have a daughter of your own, one day." Damon didn't respond to that verbally, but he offered a nod as Rudy followed his eyes. "Kids, and marriage… have you and Bonnie talked about any of that yet?"

"We haven't but I… know her. And what she expects… I'm fully aware that those are things that she wants. And I'm willing to give her both, if that'll make her happy," Damon said evenly as Rudy remained silent. "I've truthfully never seen myself as a husband or a father but being with Bonnie makes me change my mind and I… am more than happy to change the trajectory of my life to fit with hers. Especially if it means I get to have her in mine, forever."

And he honestly meant that. Damon saw it as a true indication of how much that he _loved her_ that he was willing to go back on all the things he believed, just to be with Bonnie Bennett. He'd spent ten years of his life with Elena, and not once did he desire to have kids or get married; he was perfectly fine remaining in a long, untitled, but committed relationship, without any children running around because at the end of the day, he always believed he was too selfish and fucked up to raise any of his own, even if Elena would have made a great mom. He just could never get the picture right with him and her, in his head. It just always felt _wrong, _wanting a typical happy ending.

Being with Bonnie made him rethink that.

Especially now that he was having sex with her, without a condom or the _trusty-old pull out method_, relying on only the saving grace of her birth control, because to him? It didn't matter what happened. He'd raise a kid with her if she wanted to. He'd propose and do the whole marriage thing, if and when she was ready to cross that bridge again. He'd purchase a home with a white picket fence, get a dog—even though he was allergic to them—and even buy a family-friendly car if that was the kind of life Bonnie Bennett wanted, because she had already given him _everything _he wanted, simply by being with him. The least _he _could do was give her the _world. _And he was prepared to. He always had been.

Rudy took another sip of his drink and placed it down as he folded his hands and Damon sat quietly as he waited for what he had to say. Speaking to him wasn't going as badly as he thought it would, but it wasn't by any means _comfortable _either, and Damon knew it wouldn't be. He knew he'd have to work his ass off to get her family's approval, starting with her father, but he didn't come here to back down, and he certainly wasn't going to give up. No matter how hard he had to try.

"Do you mind if I'm honest with you, Damon?"

"I don't. In fact, I prefer it."

" I think you're sincere. And I don't doubt that you love Bonnie. But I… don't think that you're good for her," Rudy said flatly, and Damon remained silent at that as he listened on. "Perhaps I'm biased because I favor Lorenzo… because he _already_ wanted all the things that _she _wanted, without her ever having to ask for it… because they shared the same values and faith—he converted to Christianity for her… He realized how important it was to have a relationship with God if he wanted to have one with my daughter and... They didn't need to compromise because they were a perfect fit. They belonged to one another, fully… Until you came around and something changed, within her."

Damon pursed his lips at that and shook his head in response.

"I haven't changed her, Mr. Hopkins. This is who she is. Give her some credit for that."

"I won't, Damon, because Bonnie has suddenly become someone who is unrecognizable to me, over the past few months, even though I've had the pleasure of raising her for 29 years. And… I don't mean to say that you're a bad _person, _Damon, because you aren't. I've always known that much about you, but… she's willing to throw everything away, including her career and friendships, just to be with you and that worries me. She doesn't care about anything other than you, and where will that leave her when you inevitably break her heart?"

Damon swallowed hard at that and furrowed his brows.

"You think that I'll break her heart?"

"I know that you will… you're the _bad guy; _the shiny new toy she's fixated on, because there's something _dangerous _about you that she's not used to… And you _bad guys—_you break hearts. That's what you all do," Rudy said as Damon blinked quietly. "You say you're fine now, giving her anything she wants but… You'll resent her, because you gave in to all of these things that _she begged for_, but you never truly saw for yourself; never _desired _on your own. And once you resent her, there isn't any going back, from there… Resentment poisons relationships, Damon—and you'll poison her. It's only a matter of time before you've ruined her."

Damon sat up at that and placed his drink down as he ticked his jaw and followed Rudy's eyes.

"With all due respect, sir, your daughter is an adult. A very intelligent one, at that and she can make her own decisions—she's not a puppet nor is she a pushover. I couldn't ruin her if I tried to. And that's what I love about her; the fact that she is so _strong, _and determined… The fact that she has values, even if she's stumbled, from time to time… She makes me want to be a better person and I make her feel free," he said as he bit his lip. "Assuming that I could resent her because I want her to have _anything _that she wants, so long as I can have her—that couldn't be further from the truth… Your daughter's happiness and wellbeing are _my _main priorities… and I could never hate her for wanting what she wants. And that's what being her man means to me—not always seeing eye to eye but knowing who she is and accepting every single part of her. And I have… I always will."

"We'll see if you feel the same way in six months," Rudy responded, and Damon's brows furrowed at that. "Anything can happen, Damon. And everything could change."

Damon's phone buzzed and he looked down to see that Bonnie had texted him to ask where he was, because the games were going to start soon.

He quickly typed a message in response before standing up and meeting Rudy's eyes.

"You're right… anything can happen, and everything could change… but not the way that I feel about her… I've felt this way for twelve years. I think it's safe to say I've got my mind made up about it."

And with that, he stood up and walked out the door.

**XXXXX**

"How'd your talk with my Dad go? I'm assuming it wasn't the _worst, _being that you're still standing here," Bonnie said, as she and Damon wandered through the garden in Sheila's backyard later on; his blazer was over her shoulders, as they breathed in the crisp air, and looked at the flowers that hadn't been completed killed off by the cold.

"He… thinks I'm no good for you," he said honestly and Bonnie scoffed meeting his eyes. "I guess I can't blame him. After the whole Whitmore thing but… not gonna lie. I thought it's be easier to win him over than Tessa and Emily were. If only he was into feminist theory and how it applied to television," Damon said and Bonnie linked her arm with his as they continued to walk. "He also was not shy about bringing up that fact that he's _#TeamLorenzo._"

"Yeah, well he's gonna have to get over that. Enzo and I are done, forever. But don't feel defeated. He… takes a while to warm up to people. But you're up for the challenge, aren't you? You said you were no quit."

"Of course, I am. Besides…It wasn't all bad. He gave me a lot to think about," Damon answered as Bonnie lifted a brow. "It's… stuff I've already thought about, but I guess it was necessary to finally say it out loud."

"Like what? Now I'm _dying_ to know."

"We're a _week_ into this relationship—I think it can wait a few months."

"I think we're also 29 _years _into this _friendship_, so we _should _be at the point where you can tell me anything," she said and Damon bit his lip as they stopped when they made it to the gazebo, a few hundred feet away from the house.

It was illuminated, just like the rest of Sheila's home with Christmas lights, and Bonnie softly marveled at them for a moment, but it wasn't enough to distract her, as she turned back to face him, with mesmerizing green eyes he'd fully drown in, ever given the chance.

He grabbed her hands and immediately felt the electrifying wave that ran through his bones the moment their skin touched, and his soul ignited. She was staring up at him, and he couldn't help but trace his gaze over her face and her hair; it was in a simple but elegant updo, that complimented her burgundy sweater dress perfectly. Damon pulled her in a little bit closer and Bonnie smiled as he extended her hand and eased her into a slow dance, though there was no music playing. The only thing they had was the glow of the moon and the beating of their hearts, but somehow that was enough as she swayed with him slowly as he looked into her eyes, counting all of his blessings starting with just how stunning she was, inside and out.

It's like he was staring at an angel in the flesh.

"Well?" she asked, as she twirled around and landed back pressed to his chest, as his arms snaked over her shoulders. "We said no more secrets."

"It isn't a secret that I… want to marry you, someday, Bonnie… And have children. I see all of that in my future, with you."

Bonnie stopped at that and immediately turned around to face him, with a gentle but flustered look in her eyes as he stood there, staring right back at her, with deep, big blue pools, that seemed to engulf her, no matter how hard she tried to evade them.

There was no use trying to escape his eyes.

"Damon… You've _never_ wanted those things. You've said that."

"Not with anybody else, no… but with you, how could I _not _want that?" he asked as he moved in towards her and she had to catch her breath when they were less than an inch away; his gaze _submerging her, _the longer that she couldn't tear away from his eyes. "You're the most beautiful person that I know… and your looks ain't too shabby, either," he joked, and she smiled at that as he captured her jaw. "I… know we have a long way to go, before we get to that point but I'm excited to have this journey with you and I… want to keep having more journeys, with you, if you'll let me," he said gently, and Bonnie watched on as he reached into his pocket and pulled something out—it looked like two small index cards—and her brows furrowed as she looked into his eyes and he exhaled a deep breath before handing it to her.

"What is this?"

"Your Christmas gift. I decided I made you wait long enough," he said, as she looked down and her eyes suddenly widened as she read it, immediately realizing that they were in fact _plane tickets_, and her mouth dropped a little bit as she shook her head.

"Damon…"

"Come to Italy, with me," he said, and her heart skipped a beat as she stuttered and tripped over her words.

"Damon, this flight is _tomorrow _and… where's the return date?" she asked, suddenly realizing they were one-way, and she tilted her head. "I don't understand."

"When we come back is up to you," he said, and her eyes widened even more. "It could be a week from now; it could be _three months _from now—"

"This is crazy, Damon, y-you own a _bar_. What are you going to do?"

"Close it, temporarily. Until you decide that you're ready to go… And I don't think you'll want to, once you see Rome," he said, and she pursed her lips. "Take a leap of faith with me, Bonnie. Let's go traveling—see all there is to see. Get the hell out of this place for a bit, and just be _me and you. _We don't need anything else for a while. Just each other. We can even go see my Dad."

Bonnie stared into his desperate eyes and she realized she didn't have one good reason to say no.

She didn't have a job at the moment. Damon had the luxury of figuring out what he wanted to do with his. She'd never been to Italy before, but it was on her bucket list. And she was stupidly, madly, ridiculously _in love _with this man standing in front of her, asking her to take a chance, and finally get out there and live her life.

The flight was in less than 24 hours. And she'd be gone for who _knew _how long—_however long she wanted, really._ And that terrified her, because she hadn't had any time to mentally prepare herself for this. She barely even had any time to wrap her mind around it.

_But something about that excited her; the fact that he had planned this, and was challenging her to take off, on a whim, in the blink of an eye. _

It was crazy, foolish, and unpredictable. But it was romantic—he _was _a romantic at heart. And she was tempted to oblige him, despite how frightened she was. She'd never traveled alone with Damon before, and this would be a brand-new experience, exploring another country, at each other's sides. But her head and her heart were ready for it. She was ready for _him. _And she was ready continue the descent into madness, no matter how much of an idealist that made her.

She leaned in and planted her lips to his.

And it was just as heart-stopping as he expected it to be, as he found himself starry-eyed the second she pulled away and flashed him a smile.

She was so other-worldly, all the while.

"Okay," she finally said and his eyes beamed as his mouth formed into a toothy grin and Bonnie kissed him again, this time with her arms wrapped around his shoulders tightly, and he dipped her unexpectedly, as she let out an infectious laugh that he was convinced could only be manufactured in a dream.

But then again, she was _his_ dream.

"I need to get home and pack," she nodded excitedly as he kissed her jaw and she shook her head. "I don't even know how much _to _pack. What the hell is the weather even like?"

"We'll figure it out. We always do, right?" he asked and Bonnie nodded before he kissed her one more time and she grabbed his hand to pull him inside to grab their things and head out.

If they were going to do this, she needed a few hours to sort through everything in her closet, because she knew she wasn't going to sleep tonight.

And that was perfectly fine. Because who needed sleep when reality was so much fucking better than anything you could have ever imagined?

**A/N: hey y'all! Happy New Years! I'm so ecstatic to have read your responses to the last chapter and I hope this one was sweet and fluffy enough for you! I toyed with a few different scenarios on how Damon and Rudy's talk would go but I ultimately wanted them to be left an an impasse that we can revisit in the future, after Damon's had more than a week to prove himself as a good boyfriend. And a damn good one he is because HE'S TAKING BONNIE TO ITALYYYY. Thoughts on how this trip will go, and how seeing his dad and sister will further develop things between him and Bonnie? Are we also satisfied with Stefan coming to terms with his shitty reaction and simultaneously trying to be a friend to Enzo and Bonnie? That Caroline is a wizard, I tell ya. Read, review, and as always thank you so much for your kind words. The reviews last chapter really lifted my spirits and I'm happy you all trust the direction of the story and understand the moral complexities of it all. Xoxo and until next time!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Earned It**

_"_We've already seen the Cathedral of Santa Maria del Fiore, the Pitti Palace, and the Basilica of Santa Croce… so what should we do today?" Bonnie asked, as Damon dragged a lazy kiss along the nape of her neck. She looked up to see the clock on the bathroom wall as they remained soaking in a freshly prepared bubble bath by Damon, himself. "It's almost 8 AM, which means— "

"_Way _too early to be thinking about sight-seeing," he whispered onto her ear and she smiled but didn't argue, as he held her on his lap in his arms and her eyes shut as his mouth traveled across her sudsy shoulder.

She'd be lying if she didn't say this was absolute _bliss, _waking up to this _and him_, in a beautiful villa in Florence, Tuscany, without the pressures of mundane repetitiveness that was Mystic Falls, Virginia—the very place they were taking a well-deserved break from, for a little while.

She lifted her mimosa to her lips with a grin when his firm hands pulled her in even tighter and he spoke in soft, sensual, and _chillingly seductive_ Italian onto her ear. He did it just because he knew it drove her crazy, even though she had no idea what the hell he was saying.

_"Amo il tuo sapore."_

For all Bonnie knew, Damon could have been telling her all of the ways that he was going to slice and dice her up to store her in a walk-in freezer and she'd have absolutely no idea, as the hypnotic words rolled off of his tongue and fell onto her greedy ears with such ease. She was convinced she would've fallen in love with him _ten years ago_ had she known that among the _many_ things he was talented at doing with his mouth, speaking another language fluently was one of them.

They'd been in Italy for about two weeks now, and had started their journey in the North, already seeing everything from Milan to Verona—taking in all of the sights, attractions, artwork, architecture, and most importantly the food, as Damon and Bonnie both stuffed their faces with enough pasta, cheese, cured meats, and sauce to feed a small village, with each place they'd gone. Bonnie believed she had positively fallen in love with the country, because _everything _amazed her, and Damon couldn't help but smile at the childlike excitement and girlish charm in her eyes when he announced their next destination—each one better than the last—and made sure to be the best tour guide he could be, as he explained the rich history and cultural aspects of everything they saw, just as his mother and father had done for him, when he was a kid.

They spent their days wandering through cathedrals, visiting the markets, and dining at different restaurants, in search of their next favorite meal or bottle of wine. When she thought back to the gondola rides in Venice or the tortellini in Bologna, Bonnie couldn't help but be anxious for what was to come next. Especially when Damon told her their next stop would be to Tuscany, where his father and Gail lived, and Sarah and Matt were currently visiting, so they could have an impromptu family reunion, minus Stefan, who he had only heard from when he shot him a brief _Happy New Year _text.

Damon responded, quickly, by wishing him one in return and asking how things were going in the states but his brother never answered. And he left it at that. He promised Bonnie he would keep an open heart, but that didn't mean he was going to be a welcome mat and allow Stefan to walk all over him like he had been for years. Besides, he was way too busy, _and way too happy_ with how things were going with Bonnie so far, that he couldn't be bothered to harp on why his brother was still being so cold.

Either way, it was none of his concern for now because he and Bonnie were finally _connecting _on a level he hadn't known was possible; especially when he thought he'd already known all there _was _to know about her. After all, she had been his best friend for close to thirty _years _and he could successfully name all of her favorite songs, movies, and books, without a second thought, and in the blink of an eye.

But there were now the tiny nuances about her he was getting to know. And the more time they spent alone, without any of the distractions or interruptions from back home, the more he truly _saw _her, and she saw _him_, when they talked each morning about everything and nothing at all, over a cup of coffee.

Another thing he discovered about her? The fact that she _always_ took a small bite of everything that was on her plate, as if she was taste testing it, before diving into the meal and treating it as a whole. She also didn't like when her food was touching until _she _pushed it altogether and he couldn't help but laugh at the fact that it'd taken him years to notice how particular she was, especially because she'd never mentioned it was something that bothered her before.

And for him? _Dimples, dimples, dimples. _

She knew he had them. She'd seen them so few times over the years she could count it only on one hand before coming to Italy. But in the past two weeks, they seemed to be showing up _all the time_, when he smiled or laughed—_he had about five different laughs_—and she caught him covering his cheeks or turning away when he did because he knew she was fucking _staring _at them. She finally asked him why he did that, and he answered that they made him feel slightly silly and self-conscious. He even spiraled into a verbal thesis about the science behind them—and the fact that they were _genetic defects_—and Bonnie only realized he was just fucking with her, when he erupted into a mixture of laugh 3 and 1, and admitted he only looked away because she sometimes made him nervous. And again, his dimples appeared when said that.

They'd finally drowned out all of the noise and the sense of clarity was liberating. The more time they spent together, the more they discovered one another, and not just sexually, but spiritually and mentally, too. Damon started to learn her love language—_hers were Acts of Service, his was Physical Touch, obviously—_and they found a way to meet in the middle, as he took it upon himself to do the little things that she never asked him to do, like her laundry, the cleaning, and cooking Italian meals—with none of the components on the plate touching one another, of course—when they were too tired or hungover to go out and sit at a proper eatery.

As for him, Bonnie was reciprocating by doing more of what _he _liked too, like holding his hand in public, kissing him while he was in the middle of a thought or sentence—successfully distracting him what he was going to say—and most recently, waking him up with her mouth traveling across his skin, on more than occasion, as he gradually came to his senses out of deep sleep. It thrilled him when he realized he was drifting out of his slumber but waking up to a _real-life_ dream, when he found her underneath the blankets and in-between his legs, going down on him, just before he worked up enough energy to pin her to the mattress and return the favor. He spoke Italian words onto her hamstrings when he pressed them to his forearms and her legs wrapped around his shoulders, trailing his tongue deeply inside of her, and he made sure she came, every single time, no matter how long it was that he had to wait.

He was easily dismantling the bomb that was Bonnie Bennett, and she couldn't say that she was shocked at all that he had gone all out when it came to impressing her for their very first trip alone together. From flying first-class to now planning their stay at this beautiful villa, he made sure she was nothing short of _comfortable _and Bonnie couldn't thank him enough for that, considering the fact that she didn't sleep the entire night before the flight because she was too excited and so busy packing, she was running on fumes until they boarded their plane.

On their first night in Venice, she napped immediately due to the jet-lag, only to awaken to a candlelit, four-course authentic Italian dinner that he'd cooked himself, after said 13-hour flight.

The following day, he took her sight-seeing, and had the entire day planned out to the minute, including dinner and drinks before they went back to the hotel and he tried to teach her a few common phrases in Italian that she could use when they went back out and about on the town. They didn't make it very far with the phrases thanks to the wine and when they walked into the bedroom to get changed into their pajamas, she was welcome with yet another surprise Damon had planned, thanks to the help of the hotel staff.

The bed was covered with fresh red rose petals, there was a fresh bottle of _Dom Perignon_ on ice, and a tray of chocolate covered strawberries on the table. Bonnie's cheeks flushed and she bit back a smile, when he had already unbuttoned his shirt, turned on some soft music, lit a few candles, and urged her to open the giftbox that sat square in the center of the bed.

Bonnie watched as Damon took a sip of his champagne, though his eyes never vacated hers, and she finally looked down long enough to tug at the big red bow and open the box. A grin crossed her lips when she saw what was in it and he smiled as well, when she pulled out the Leica 35 mm camera and an empty photo album beneath it, and he sat on the bed beside her while she stared into his eyes.

_"I figured you'd want some way to hold onto all of your new memories_," he said shyly, and Bonnie grabbed his hand at that; her thumb slowly rubbed against his palm before she leaned in and gave him a kiss.

The nervousness in his eyes slowly subsided, when she put the book down, handed him the camera, and began to unbutton her blouse slowly. Damon watched on in quiet fascination, until the woman before him was dressed down to her lace, mauve underwear and matching bra. Bonnie loosened her long dark curls, as she laid on the bed and bit her lip when she met his stare. Damon's eyes remained wide, all the while.

_"I'll let you take the first picture. And maybe a few more after that, if you're lucky," _she said.

And they had a wonderful time, breaking in Bonnie's new camera that night. It was going to be even more interesting when it came to getting that film developed.

They spent New Years Eve in Verona in _Piazza Bra_, where they got to see the fireworks and a live concert with a lineup of local Italian singers. Damon kissed her exactly at midnight, and she couldn't think of anywhere in the world that she'd rather be, than in his arms, bringing on another year of friendship with the man she loved so intensely, she could hardly think straight when talking about him.

Flash forward to this morning, where he had plied her with mimosas, as they made good use of the hot tub in the spacious master bathroom in their villa in Florence, while a stream of morning light filtered through the windows. Damon gave her a slow massage to awaken her muscles and senses before they started their day, although if he were honest, he was doing _everything_ in his power to urge her to cancel their plans as he sucked gently on her neck and eased her iPad out of her hand, laying it carefully on the ground as she crumbled at the distraction.

He was getting to her, with every calculated touch, word, and stare, and for the first time in her life, she wondered how she'd lived this long without truly _living; _without feeling so deeply, madly, _outrageously in love_, that she had settled for anything less than what Damon was making her feel right now, as his hands smoothed under the soapy water and into the space between her legs, before they roamed back up to her breasts, while she moaned softly and bit her lip.

If Damon had his way, they wouldn't go anywhere for _weeks_; he'd keep her locked in here, like a princess in a tower, begging for an escape, though the only escape was _him_. They were in one of the most romantic places he could think of and he wanted nothing more than to prolong this experience—_just the two of them_—for as long as he could, seeing as Bonnie hadn't yet decided on how long they were staying and he had to make every moment count. Especially with not knowing which day could be their last—metaphorically speaking, of course.

"How about Ponte Vecchio today?" Damon asked as Bonnie turned around in his lap and straddled him; her arms wrapped comfortably around his broad shoulders as she listened. "It's a bridge, that runs over the river. There's a bunch of shops, and vendors. Jewelry… you'd like it. It's beautiful."

"Okay, we'll go then," she said, and he smiled as she traced a finger across his chest, "What time is dinner at your Dad and Gail's place?" she asked lightly, though she felt anything but.

It would be the first time they were going to see his parents since getting here, and she knew she shouldn't have been nervous but she was, considering the fact that they had no idea Damon and Bonnie were dating because he hadn't said anything yet; it was something he wanted to talk about it person, respectfully, after the whole FaceTime fiasco with Sarah on Christmas.

His sister had been pretty cool about it, considering the fact that she'd seen _worse _living with Damon in -between semesters—like _Krystal with K, _who he was sleeping with when he was rebounding off of Elena—and seemingly trying to fight his feelings for Bonnie. That girl regularly and _loudly _did her Walks of Shame out of the Boarding House when she knew Sarah was home, in an effort to _establish _her "relationship" with Damon, and she never let him live it down that he was actually having sex with someone who still wore Juicy Couture velour sweat suits, low-rise jeans, and trucker hats, when popping in for another late-night booty call.

For Sarah? Bonnie was a much better—_and much more tasteful_—option. And it didn't hurt that she didn't act like she was trapped in the year 2001.

But Bonnie knew it'd take more than good fashion taste for Giuseppe to buy into their relationship; especially when she'd so recently been engaged to somebody else before diving headfirst into this.

For as long as Bonnie had known Damon's dad, he was pretty straight-faced at all times, and never really seemed to loosen up much; he'd just always had a very firm and serious demeanor about him. He wasn't a bad father by any means, but he was hardly as emotional as Damon and Stefan were, and she resigned herself to the fact that they had definitely had gotten that from Lilian Salvatore, because Giuseppe was almost as impenetrable as they came. He always liked _her, _and according to Damon, he regularly praised Bonnie for being the good influence that she was on his son, because Damon very well had the potential to be a disaster, when they were kids. But she honestly wasn't sure how Giuseppe would feel about her now, knowing that she was a liar and a cheater, who had two-timed her ex-fiancé with his son, instead of doing things the _right way_, and leaving Enzo before she got Damon wrapped up in her mess and seemingly around her finger. Damon was hardly a rebound, but she wondered if Giuseppe and Gail would warn him that he _could _be, though she knew more than anything that, that wasn't the case at all.

And now she could only hope Giuseppe still felt the way he did at her engagement party, when he urged Damon to be honest with himself and her. Because had it not been for him, they might not have been here today. And there was no worse fate that she could imagine, at this point. The thought of not having Damon in her life equally devastated and terrified her.

"Dinner isn't 'til 6 PM. We have tons of time," he said as his hands crawled along her skin and he grinned. "If you wanted to… _you know._"

"I think I'm all sexed out from last night if that's possible," she smiled, and he pouted as she pursed her lips. "Even though you are really, _really _tempting."

"The really tempting,_ dangerous, bad guy, _who's _only_ gonna break your heart, at your service," he said jokingly and Bonnie shook her head as she recalled the words her Dad had said to him during their drink after Christmas dinner. "Have you heard from your parents again?"

"Of course not, they're still pissed off I decided to come here with _you_ instead of staying home for the New Year," she said as he listened on. "_As if _I don't have the next six _months_ to make it to New York to visit them… They're… not taking this as well as I'd hoped."

And that wasn't an exaggeration.

The morning of her flight, Bonnie had stopped by her Grams' place to inform them of the surprise news of her departure in just a few hours and while Sheila was super supportive and urged her to have a wonderful time before heading out to breakfast with her new beau, her parents were not fine with it and found every reason under the sun why she _shouldn't _go to Italy with Damon. Much less, even be _seeing him_, at all.

Their list covered an array of reasons like it was "too soon," "she needed to stay single and focus on her career," "he was just a rebound from Enzo," "it would really hurt Elena, hearing that her ex-best friend and ex-boyfriend were now openly dating," and of course her all-time favorite, "he's a bad guy who will inevitably break your heart, because that's what they all do."

And she couldn't be any more annoyed.

It wasn't like she expected her parents to welcome their relationship with open arms and an open heart, but she did expect them to keep an open _mind. _Especially considering the fact that her entire life they did nothing but preach to her about moving past your mistakes and forgiving not only yourself but other people for their indiscretions if they were genuine and sincere, which Damon absolutely was.

They surely weren't putting it into practice when it came to giving him the chance he deserved, though, and it put her in a unique position because her parents didn't flat out _dislike him_ as a person like they had with some of her ex-boyfriends. They'd always gotten on just fine, before it came out that she slept with him. But they thought he was a poor boyfriend choice for _her _and made it clear had this been under different, _more honest _circumstances, they could've felt differently about it.

But under these circumstances? They wanted no part of it.

_To them, _Damon showed his true colors. And now he was just some guy she lost her job and glowing reputation over, even though he only punched Enzo out of defense for _her. _In their opinion, he was reckless, impulsive, and "changed her" from their sweet, darling girl with upstanding and unshakeable morals, to a _skank_—for lack of a better word—who cheated on _poor, unsuspecting men_ like Enzo, and broke girl code with lifelong friends like Elena, all because Damon talked her into it.

Damon was her "side piece," not marriage or even _boyfriend _material, and for the life of them, they couldn't understand why she'd not only given up a "perfect life" and cheated on her fiancé, but was also willing to drop everything and fly away to Italy with him, for an undetermined amount of time, with no concrete plans or decisions in place for the future.

Her father nearly had a heart attack when she told him that she didn't know how long they were staying, and her mother all but called her _insane_ for putting her life on hold for a boy, though she knew hypocritically enough, that they would have been _thrilled _with her dropping everything to start a family had she indeed married Enzo, and found out she was pregnant, just a few months later. They'd be helping her pick out baby names and plan colors for the nursery, no questions asked.

It thoroughly confused her how they could be aware of all that he'd say to and about her—_and even be privy to the fact that he grabbed her, threateningly, before Damon got in the middle of them—_and they still somehow found a way to _victimize_ him for his shitty reaction. But she figured it had something to do with the fact that Enzo was now a _Good Christian, _just like they were, so they found it more easily digestible to forgive his transgressions, instead of just calling them out for what they really were. Because that's exactly what they did, when Bonnie finally opened up to them about the incident that happened the night of the gala.

When she revealed the fact that he'd gotten in her face and probably would have gotten violent if Damon weren't there, they asked if this was the first time. She said yes, as far as the physical part went, and that was when the excuses for his behavior began.

They called it everything from a _lack of good judgment, _to _devastating heartbreak that blinded him in the moment, _and Bonnie was nothing less than _infuriated _when the victim-blaming started and her own father insinuated that _perhaps_ Enzo wouldn't have called her all of those_ terrible things _out of anger if she hadn't been acting so _out of character _lately.

So basically, that translated to, if she wasn't such a _fucking_ _whore, _maybe he wouldn't have called her out on being one.

And that was when she decided it was time to leave, because the last thing she needed to do was catch a case in her Grams' kitchen because both of her parents were behaving like brainwashed, ignorant, psychopaths.

She hoped some time away from them would not only give them a chance to mull it over, realize they were wrong about their beloved Enzo, and change their minds about Damon—_especially after they saw how happy they were together. _The time away also would give she and him a chance to actually have a shot at this, without having to deal with the constant negativity, commentary, and opinions from everyone around them who was so convinced that their relationship ought to be a community project and everyone should have a fucking say.

They didn't and wouldn't, she decided, and if they wanted to start things off on the right foot, they'd need to get away from it all, just for a little bit, and she couldn't have been happier than she was right now, because Tuscany was beautiful and peaceful. And so was her time spent with him, even if it had only been 48 hours in Florence. She was happy, and there was nothing anyone could do to stop that, short of ripping her heart out of her chest.

And even still, she was convinced it would continue to beat for Damon, as she took her one last, dying breath.

"They'll come around," she said, as he followed her green eyes and tucked a loose strand from her bun behind her ear. "Or we'll have to just move here. Either one is fine."

"You'd move out of Virginia, away from everyone and _everything_ you know? Can't say I ever pegged you for the type," he said with a lifted brow. "You're basically the shining star of the shitty town we live in."

"Yeah, but not for good reasons anymore," she replied as she stroked his hair. "Besides the friends I _haven't_ lost, and Grams, and _you_—what do I have left there? With my luck, I'll go back to Whitmore in the fall, and the PTA parents will realize the slutty winter gala harlot got reinstated and I'll be fired. For good," she said in a joking tone though he knew she wasn't kidding and that probably _was_ what was going to happen. "I'm sorry. We don't need to talk about this right now."

"We can, if you want to. You know I'm here to listen, Bon."

"But you shouldn't have to. We're on vacation. And I'm with you. And I'm _happy," _she said, and Damon smiled though he couldn't help but feel sad at the prior hopelessness in her tone.

Bonnie had always been one of the best people he'd ever known. Despite the fact that her Dad was the mayor and her family was loaded, she never relied on the privilege that she _did_ have to get her anywhere in life; she always worked her ass off and gave everything 110 percent. She was their high school salutatorian—she missed valedictorian by a 10th of a point, and in college she went on to graduate Magna Cum Laude and was now going for her PhD after successfully completing her master's degree.

She was one of the most intelligent people that he knew, and the fact that she had been reduced to a _rich girl who relied on Daddy's money to get her anywhere in life_ definitely undermined all of the hard work she'd put in to establish herself and her career. Because even though people should have known that, that couldn't have been any further from the truth, they'd argue that she received special treatment because of her race, gender, and socioeconomic status. And to know that she felt this way even though she struggled to talk about it made him angry for her. Because for whatever wrong she had done, she didn't deserve the way Enzo treated her that night, though he knew a part of her believed that she did.

And it was also clear Enzo hadn't thought about the bigger picture, and the massive implications he had created for her by lashing out, because in that moment, he'd only been thinking about himself, and how she hurt _him. _And still, Damon believed in his right to be _upset_, but for him, there was no excusing what he had done. And he hoped never to run into Enzo again. Because he couldn't promise that he wouldn't be leaving the conversation in handcuffs if he did.

"I love you," he said, and she smiled as she still played with his hair, before offering a response.

"I love you too."

Bonnie leaned in and gave her a chaste kiss as she got out of the tub, much to his dismay, and he watched as she pulled on her robe and headed to the mirror to start to get ready for the day, while he watched her for a few moments silently; his eyes meeting hers in the reflection of the mirror and Bonnie smiled at him gently before finally breaking the silence.

"What did you say before, in Italian?" she asked curiously, and Damon smirked as she followed his eyes and shook her head, "You know what? Never mind—I _probably_ don't want to know."

Damon finally stood up at that and she didn't peel her eyes away when his completely naked, and sudsy frame stepped out of the tub, dripping onto the tile, not bothering to grab a towel or his robe, as he approached her slowly.

Bonnie smiled as she looked straight ahead at herself in the mirror in an attempt to ignore him when he appeared behind her. She didn't say a word when his hands wrapped around her shoulders and his body pressed to the back of her robe; her eyes fluttered shut when she felt a soft kiss land on her temple and then cheek before she reopened her lids and looked back at him. His sapphire eyes were on fire when he slowly spun her around and her back pressed to the countertop of the sink when he looked at her.

Without a word he leaned in and kissed her.

He nearly took her breath away when his tongue slipped into her mouth, and she smoothed both palms up his bare chest to his cheeks while they continued, lapping each other up for the next few minutes, with the fresh taste of orange juice and champagne on both of their lips. He easily lifted her onto the sink and her thighs were wrapped around his waist while it took everything in him not to be in _her, _when she tugged his bottom lip between her teeth and looked into his eyes when she finally pulled away.

They stared at each other for a silent—but heated, and heavy—moment, as his hands dipped beneath her robe and she let out of short gasp when she felt his index slip inside of her. He worked against her so devastatingly slowly, she immediately felt wet, as she clutched onto the sink and tried to hold in the moans that threatened to escape her lips.

When he inched his finger out, she watched as he stuck it into his mouth and sucked on it deliberately, as her heartbeat sped up, because if that wasn't a way to get a girl horny, she didn't know what was.

"I said, _I love how you taste,_" he translated in a low but assured tone, and Bonnie felt her breath hitch when he drew her in closer and tilted up her chin so she was meeting his eyes; his thumb brushed along her bottom lip and she knew her cheeks had instantly flushed because the warmness she felt between her legs had traveled up to her face, and now she felt like and now she felt like she'd been laid out bare, in the middle of the desert, soaking up the summer sun.

His thumb continued to drag across her cherry lips, until she grabbed it with her mouth; her teeth and tongue seductively captured his skin and Damon smiled as she stared back at him wickedly.

"Have you changed your mind?" he asked with scrunched brows and she slowly let his thumb go with a soft but audible _pop _of her lips before she untied the robe and let it fall onto the countertop, as she pulled him in closer with the firm grip of her hands.

"We can see Ponte Vecchio tomorrow," she reassured, and he smiled happily before he leaned in and met her mouth with a kiss.

It was a good thing those plans for dinner weren't until 6 PM.

XXXXX

"So, let me get this straight," Sarah said, after she swallowed down her shot of whiskey and looked into Damon's eyes, when he put his empty shot glass on the counter as well. "You slept with Bonnie the _night _before her wedding and no one bothered to tell me _before _I spent the money on my hair and makeup? Honestly D, you could've given a girl a heads up." Damon snorted at that aS he sat at the bar next to her and turned to face her with incredulous eyes, while she shook her head. "What?"

"I tell you that Bonnie and I had been engaged in a secret relationship for _months, _starting the night of her _bachelorette_ _party_ and your only response is that we should've told you sooner, so you could've spent less money?" he asked and Sarah shrugged. "Not the reaction I was expecting."

"I'm a _poor_ college kid, I could've put that cash to good use."

"You are the furthest thing from poor. You have a trust fund."

"Be that as it may," Sarah started with a grin and he rolled his eyes playfully, "I'm happy for you, Damon. And I'm sorry Stefan had such a shitty response when he found out because I think it's great. You and Bonnie have always been _soulmates_. Anyone with a pulse could see you two were bound to get together, sooner or later. Though this is much, _much_ later."

Damon smiled at that as Sarah clinked her glass to his and he took a sip before his eyes wandered around the cocktail bar they had found themselves in, after he and Bonnie finished exploring the city—and each other— for the day and his sister had given him a call to meet up for a drink before heading over to their parents' house for dinner. Bonnie was across the bar with Matt, playing pool and he felt his heart do a gentle pitter-patter when she looked up from their game at him and grinned before continuing to trash talk her opponent, while Matt laughed on all the while.

The girl was always the fiercest competitor that he knew.

Sarah followed his eyes to Bonnie, and she grinned knowingly before he turned back and realized she was staring at him the entire time. Damon took a sip of his bourbon and shook his head.

"What are you looking at?"

"You, being _absolutely in love_ with her," Sarah beamed, and he rolled his eyes. "Admit it. You're 1000% smitten. And all _smiley. _This is _gross_, and I mean that in the best way possible… I've _never_ seen you like this."

"I don't get _like this_ because of reactions like _yours_," he said, and she scoffed as he shook his head. "Makes me feel like a sap."

"It's a good look on you," Sarah pinched his cheek and Damon couldn't help but smile in return, as he followed her light brown eyes. "After Elena, I wasn't sure you'd be able to open yourself up to anyone, again. But I'm happy you did. And I'm _thrilled _with the selection. Bonnie's pretty amazing and _slightly_ out of your league, but it's nice that she's so philanthropic, giving you a chance and all," she joked as he bit back a grin as she did as well.

"Well, I wouldn't have had the courage to move on from Elena if it wasn't for Dad… And I probably wouldn't have ever told Bonnie how I felt about her, either."

"And does he know the fruits of his labor have finally paid off?"

"No. I haven't even told him Bonnie and I are together."

"Why not?! He'd be thrilled. You know, he once said she was the _best_ thing to ever happen to you and he's not wrong… She's smart, funny, doesn't put up with your shit, and not to mention, _super-hot,_" Sarah noted, and Damon nodded with a laugh.

"I am inclined to agree with _all of that_— "

"So why haven't you told Dad? I mean, you told _Stefan, _and we all know he's the biggest Debbie Downer of them all… But Dad isn't. And he saw you guys coming from _light years _away. It'd make him happy, you know. Maybe he'd actually even _emote."_

"I guess… but with how bad Bonnie's parents reacted to it after finding out the _how,_ I'm kind of a little hesitant. I just… don't want to let him down. And what I did, breaking Bonnie and Enzo up, was pretty shitty…. So was getting into that fight with him, and costing her, her _job."_

"_Enzo_ cost Bonnie her job, when he decided to go off the rails and slut-shame her, in front of the entire academic community. Don't blame yourself for defending _your _girl_,_" Sarah pressed an assertive finger to his chest. "Besides—we all know cheating is wrong, and yes, you two _maybe _should've told him sooner but what's done is done and her cheating doesn't change the fact that he needs _serious _help if he thinks the way he treated her that night was remotely okay."

Damon nodded at that, briefly thinking back to his conversation with Alaric once he'd gotten to Italy. His best friend had informed him that Enzo had apparently left Virginia and was currently staying in Boston with old college friends, to clear his head and get a hold of his emotions. Alaric, personally, saw it as him running away from his problems and told him just that when he saw him last, before his departure, and urged him to seek help for his anger issues. He wasn't sure that Enzo was going to listen, but he'd tried his best and both Bonnie and Damon were grateful to have someone who was not only seeing things with a bit of clarity because he'd _witnessed _Enzo's behavior that night, but agreed that his actions went way beyond being cheated on and he needed to do something more than pretend like it never happened.

Damon snapped out of his thoughts as he gazed at Sarah and cleared his throat before uttering a response.

"You know how Giuseppe is… he's all about honesty, integrity, and _loyalty— "_

"And you're trying to make the best of it, now. You and Bonnie are in an open, honest, and _healthy _relationship with each other. That counts for something, D. I don't think Dad's gonna hate you because you took his advice but went about things the 'wrong' way. He knows you mean well. You always do."

Damon sighed at that and Sarah pursed her lips as he slowly moved his glass; the ice cube pinged off the side.

"You are incredibly supportive of Bonnie and I, considering the fact that I've been giving you _hell_ about dating my bartender," he nodded in Matt's direction and Sarah smiled as she met his eyes. "What gives?"

"Nothing. I know you're looking out for me, because Matt's IQ is _questionable_ to you, and I appreciate that, even if I'm an _adult _and ultimately I'm going to date _whoever _the fuck I want," she said and Damon smiled. "Just like Bonnie is an adult and she's not going to let her parents tell her who she can and can't see… So, don't let it get to you that so many people are so against this. You two are happy and you deserve to be. You've both been through so much to get to this point. Don't screw it up, dummy."

Damon didn't reply to that, but he did reach in and give her a tight hug and Sarah laughed happily when he pulled away and met her eyes, smiling gently all the while.

"What was that for?"

"For being wise beyond your years, sensei," he shrugged and she snorted, as Bonnie and Matt finally made their way back over to the bar and Damon's eyes immediately transfixed on the girl who was bouncing happily on her heels in victory as she ordered a coke and looked into his eyes with a smile.

He was instantly enchanted.

"Bonnie won. All three rounds. I'm back in retirement," Matt said, and Sarah laughed before placing a sympathetic kiss on his cheek as he pouted. "I'd say good game, but I absolutely sucked."

"Don't feel too bad. Not even Damon can beat me at pool," she revealed, and he scoffed as his arm snaked over her shoulder and pulled her in closely; _protectively. _

"I came close once."

"Yeah, back in 2003," she chirped, and Sarah and Matt laughed at that, as she met his eyes and pursed her lips. "Were you two all done with sibling talk? Or did we interrupt."

"We're all done. And we should probably close out if we're gonna catch the metro," Sarah looked at her watch and Damon immediately pulled out his wallet to pay.

"It's on me. I owe Bonnie a drink for getting my ass whooped back in '03."

She shook her head at that as both Sarah and Matt thanked him. They all slipped into their jackets and grabbed their things; Sarah and Matt ventured outside to wait for them as Damon signed his receipt and he felt Bonnie's eyes burning against his skin, before he looked up and straight into them.

"Why is everyone _staring _at me today?"

"I like seeing you in big brother mode. You two are cute," she said, and he bit back a smile as he placed the pen down on the countertop and slid his card back into his wallet, before taking her hand.

"That pain in the ass? She drives me _insane._"

"Nice try, but I'm pretty sure you're obsessed with her, and that's fine. I've never had a sibling, so I don't know what that's like—having that connection."

Bonnie's fingers immediately interlocked with his as they started to walk to the exit, hand in hand.

"She's different than Stefan is… less judgey, more forgiving. Makes me feel like an actual _person_, as opposed to the idea of one," he said as she listened on and they stopped just shy of the door. "Just like you do. You… remind me that I'm human, all the time, and I appreciate that. And you. I appreciate you."

Bonnie smiled as he leaned in and kissed her forehead gently; her toes tingled and heart skipped a beat when he pulled away, still looking deeply into her eyes.

He was a dream; a manic and unpredictable yet steady and life-changing _fantasy, _that she knew she should have treaded carefully with, but what was the point and what was it really worth if she couldn't get hurt in the end? She wanted something that she'd be devastated to lose. She wanted someone who kept her up at night. And she'd found him, right here, in a sweet, but stormy man, who was just reckless enough to keep her on her toes, but also _safe_, too, because he loved her without limit, and protected her well-being when she needed it, even without knowing it.

"I appreciate you too," she said, rubbing her thumb against his jaw, and offering smile. "No matter what happens, I'll always remember right here and right now, with these memories. _Our memories_, Damon."

Damon smiled at that too before he placed one last kiss to her lips.

"With our luck, this is only just the beginning, _bellissima_," he said, and she smirked at that in response.

And with that, they were headed out the door.

**XXXXX**

"When my Dad said he was living _modestly _on the Italian countryside, I expected _Little House on the Prairie. _Not the _Versace Mansion._"

"I think this picture of you in the 4th grade is very _Little House on the Prairie. _Look at your suspenders. Is that the year I beat you at the spelling bee?"

"It is. Give me that," Damon snatched the picture frame out of Bonnie's hand as she smiled innocently; he flashed a grin in return as he placed the photo back onto the mantle of the fireplace. "You're a troublemaker, Bennett. Always have been."

Her eyes continued to wander around the medieval but modern mansion in amazement; her stare coursing over the stone walls and high arches in Giuseppe and Gail's living room, before she met Damon's gaze and slowly licked her teeth.

"But that's why you like me," she winked and he couldn't refute that, as his eyes roamed over her body, dressed in that form fitting olive green turtleneck dress, that matched her eyes and hugged her curves so perfectly, he ached to get back to their villa, just so he could peel it off of her.

He settled for his hands wrapped around her waist, and Bonnie smiled when he pulled her in closer and placed a chaste kiss against her jaw.

They'd had dinner at his parents' home in Lucca; a three-story mansion that Damon had to admit had Giuseppe's name all over it, from the pristine floors, rare artwork, and high ceilings that made him feel like a little boy, at 31 years old. They sat at the long rectangular table in the dining room over a five course meal and endless bottles of _Sangiovese, _mostly with Sarah, Matt, and Gail steering the conversation—_thank God_—because it kept Giuseppe's attention off of he and Bonnie and the fact that they had still not yet admitted to being _together_, though Gail gave them the look the second she greeted them both at the door with warm hugs.

His father hadn't had a chance to grill him with 21 questions, thanks to Gail's insistence that they get started with apps and dinner—_she probably just knew Damon was scared shitless—_and now, post-dessert, Matt had asked for a tour of the grounds, again, as everyone went along, leaving Damon and Bonnie inside alone, for just a few stolen moments.

He knew his father knew something was up, and he promised he would explain what the hell he and Bonnie were doing on a two-week long trip in another country, alone together, but he just needed to work up the nerve to be open and honest. Especially if his reaction was going to be just as bad as Stefan's, for not telling him the truth and sneaking around with nearly married woman the past few months.

Damon's hands slowly trailed across her waist and finally dropped when they heard voices approaching, and within moments Giuseppe, Gail, Sarah, and Matt were walking into the room, as his father held a bottle of champagne with a bottle opener. Gail handed them each an empty flute.

"I thought we should have a toast to getting two out of the three of my kids here at the same time," Giuseppe started and they all smiled while he cleared his throat, "and of course, the lovely presence of the people they care about," he added and Damon swallowed hard when his father met his eyes for a second, before darting his gaze to Bonnie and Matt. "Thank you for joining us."

"My pleasure," Bonnie and Matt said, almost in unison and they watched as Giuseppe popped the champagne with ease and poured them each a serving.

They clinked their flutes for a quick cheers, before raising them to their lips and Bonnie sighed after she took a gulp. Damon cleared his throat and stuffed one of his hands into his pocket. Sarah, Matt, and Gail vacated the room to go get the TV in the den ready for karaoke—Sarah's idea, of course—and Giuseppe turned to face his son and Bonnie.

He hadn't asked any questions during dinner, but they knew it was time, now, as he rolled up the sleeves of his button-up and sipped his drink gingerly.

"So, what's new Bonnie? How are you liking Italy?" Giuseppe asked as he faced her and Damon and followed their eyes. "I hope that Damon's been a good tour guide."

"It's been fantastic. He's been… _great_," Bonnie said genuinely, as a smile crossed her lips. "The food is _amazing_, and the museums and cathedrals we saw, I just... I'm in awe, is all," Bonnie continued, and Giuseppe nodded in understanding before he responded.

"How long are you two staying? One more week in Tuscany, like Sarah and Matthew?"

Damon looked at Bonnie briefly and began to formulate a response that didn't really answer the question, but she answered first, much to his surprise.

"Another month. I'm… on leave from the university until the Fall actually, and Damon's bar is closed at the moment. So, we're not really in a rush to head back home. Besides, there's so much more to see. We haven't even seen Rome yet," Bonnie said as she met Damon's eyes and he smiled softly though on the inside, he was positively bursting at the seams because she had finally decided.

Bonnie was granting him another _month _of this; 4 more weeks, on their own, to do and live however the hell they wanted, and he couldn't be more thrilled about it. He half expected her to want to jet-set off after spending the rest of this week seeing his family but it seemed that wasn't the case and that excited him more than he could even put into words. She was having just as much fun as he was, and it was clear that she didn't want this to end. And neither did he. If it were up to him, they might never go back, and they'd just spend the next year traveling to different places with one another, exploring all it was that the globe had to offer.

But another month? That was generous enough. Especially when he realized the fact that Bonnie's _birthday _was almost exactly a month from today, and that meant she wanted to spend her 30th with _him_, which warmed his heart even more, because this was a milestone for her. His smile remained on his lips as he turned back to face his father, who was eyeing them both curiously. Damon cleared his throat, before offering a flippant shrug, as his heart continued to pound so quickly, he was sure Giuseppe could see it through his white button down.

"Whatever the lady wants, she gets. I'm just the tour guide."

"Well, you know what they say; happy wife, happy life," his father replied, and Damon inhaled a deep breath at that as he watched Bonnie nervously tuck a strand behind her ear, before she offered a quick smile as well.

And _that_ was gonna be her cue to give them a minute.

"I'm… going to run to the bathroom—_one _of the _many_ bathrooms," Bonnie said as she polished off her champagne and walked away, with Damon's eyes following her every step in her heels before she disappeared.

He turned back to face his father whose eyes hadn't dropped—or blinked—for what felt like a _century_ as he stared straight back at him.

"So…" Damon trailed off licking his lips and Giuseppe's gaze remained firm.

"You two are seeing each other now," his father said, _not asked,_ and Damon pursed his lips before slowly nodding scratching his black hair, "That's a big deal. Since when?"

"Officially? About three weeks… _Unofficially_, a few _months_," Damon revealed, and Giuseppe lifted a brow. "She… called off things with Enzo, at the wedding, as you already know. And we…" he started and stopped, because _ew, _was he _really_ about to jump into the gory details of his sex life, headfirst, with his 67-year-old father?

He didn't want to because that was just weird. But he also knew he was pretty incapable of lying to him, because he always had been, even as a kid. And he knew if he didn't tell him the truth now, Giuseppe would be able to figure it out anyway, because he always saw right through his shit. Damon ticked his jaw and followed his eyes, as he began again.

"The night before the wedding, I may have told her how I felt, finally. And she… seemingly felt the same way. So… we made a mistake—one we should've waited to make until she was single. But… ever since then, we haven't been able to stayaway from each other and now that everybody knows, because of a super _messy _fight at Bonnie's job with Enzo that I just don't want to get into, again, we made the choice to be together," he said carefully as his father remained quiet. "I'm… sorry I waited to tell you, Dad. I just didn't think it'd be an appropriate conversation to have over the phone. Or FaceTime. That's how Sarah found out. And I… know you're probably not proud of me, for how this whole thing started, because she was still with him when I swooped in and changed everything but—"

"It's not about me being proud of you or not, Damon. It's about what you feel… Are you happy, son?"

Damon stopped, as his father's question took him off guard and he swallowed hard, as the elder man's blue eyes looked straight into his. "Because what I can tell you, as your father, is that you look happy. You… have a light about you now, that I haven't seen since in your eyes since your mother passed away and honestly? I wasn't so sure you'd ever get that back after things got so hard. But you did. You have it, with Bonnie. She makes you _happy_. And if you're both happy, I'm happy. That's all I need to know."

"I am happy—we are happy, I just… guess sometimes I'm a little afraid of other people's opinions. Sarah took it well and so did her Grams. But Stefan didn't. And her parents hate this. So does Enzo, obviously, and Elena… I really hurt her. Which in return, she tried to hurt me. With reason, I know."

"I'm sure. She loved you. Even though you two were doomed from the start," Giuseppe said as Damon looked down, "But you and Elena were never going to work Damon, no matter how hard either of you tried because you and Bonnie were already all that you _ever_ wanted... Everyone has always been able to see that—whether they wanted to let themselves admit it, or not. I've always seen that. And so did your mother."

Damon looked back up at that and shook his head.

"I know, I just… I-I don't get it. Aren't you upset with me? I mean, I did what you said, and I was finally _honest_, but the night before her wedding? When she was going to marry my ex-best friend?"

"It's not my position as your father to judge what may have happened with Lorenzo, or to make you two feel badly for what you may have done. My job is to _support you_, because I know it wasn't easy for you to tell her… And it wasn't easy for her to leave him... No part of this should have been easy for either of you," he said as Damon bit his trembling lip. "But just because it wasn't _easy _doesn't mean it wasn't worth doing… It doesn't mean that _she_ wasn't worth the risk or throwing it all on the line for, Damon, because _you love her. _And I know that aside from making _you _happy, you make _her_ happier as well… That's just the way it's always been with you two. You've wanted her your entire life. And she's always loved _you, _too."

Damon felt his eyes welling up with tears that.

Happy tears. Because his father was right.

He loved Bonnie; he always had, and he always would. And knowing that someone had not only seen that his entire life, but believed the same about her—_that she'd loved him forever, too_—stirred every emotion inside of him, all at once, from gratification to _appreciation _not just for Bonnie, but for his father, for always seeing who he was, and loving him anyway, even when he hadn't been at his finest hour. He'd made mistakes with Elena. He waited unbelievably long with Bonnie. He fell into a bit darkness when his mother died. He fucked up a friendship with Enzo. But that wasn't _all _he had to be defined by, and it didn't negate the fact that he deserved love too, even though he often felt undeserving and unworthy of it. She loved him, as unconditionally as he loved her, and he needed to accept that. He needed to be open to the fact that sometimes, things really were this simple, even if the road to get here had been far from easy.

"I am proud of you, you know," his father said as he placed a hand on Damon's shoulder and he inhaled deeply, as he finally saw a true _gentleness _in his eyes as he watched on. "Running your own bar, going after the woman of your dreams who has _always _been a good fit for you, taking care of your brother," he added as Damon pressed his lips shut. "I never thanked you for what you did, after your mother died, I… never thought I had to say the words, but I realize that I should have… You needed to hear them."

Damon felt his eyes get watery at that as he shook his head and offered a knowing smile.

"I know, Dad. And you don't have to say it. I know after we lost Mom, things changed—"

"And you kept it together when I couldn't," Giuseppe answered, as Damon remained silent. "You protected Stefan; you were his hero. And that's probably why he's upset about you and Bonnie… Not because he doesn't think you deserve happiness with her—_he knows that you both do—_but you could never do any wrong in his eyes; not like me. And he's just not used to seeing you as anyone other than the person who he's never had to question. He puts you on a pedestal. One he created because I failed him, too many times… Not you, Damon."

"You didn't fail him. Or me," Damon said with furrowed brows. "You were a great Dad, you still are. You just went through a hard time and I forgive you for it… I don't judge you for that. I know it was hard, but we made it through. We all did, and we found happiness after it… We all survived the worst of it and we got to have a family again, when you met Gail and you gave me and Stefan Sarah… So, call me foolish, for not caring how we got here… The most important part is that we did. With _you. _I'm who I am today, because of _you, _Dad; you didn't fail me, at all."

Damon watched as his father smiled at that, his eyes glistening, before he leaned in and pulled him into a tight hug. Damon's chin landed on his shoulder and he beamed as well, when he saw Bonnie standing in the doorway of the room; biting her lip and grinning in his direction as her eyes met his. She didn't say a word as her arms folded over her chest and she just watched them hugging silently. Damon continued to watch on, as Sarah, Matt, and Gail slowly appeared behind her—all of them now smiling as well at the sight of Giuseppe holding his son in a strong embrace.

"Welcome to the family, Bon," Sarah whispered as she pulled her in for a hug and Bonnie laughed softly as Sarah's head landed on her shoulder and she squeezed her tight before releasing her and clapping excitedly as she turned on her heel. "Hey Dad and D—I hate to break this up, but I'm really itching to _destroy_ everyone in karaoke. Are we ready?" Sarah interrupted with a smirk as Damon and Giuseppe finally departed and the room laughed as she flashed a devious smile, "Sorry not sorry Damon, but you're going _down_."

"In your dreams, twerp. Have you even heard this voice? You'd mistake me for Prince."

"If it's anything like you're singing at the bar, I'd call you the Prince of Tone Deafness. No offense," Matt commented, and Damon scoffed as Bonnie giggled with a shrug.

"Bonnie?"

"I'm sorry but that's probably true. You don't hear you, in the car," she said as Damon widened his eyes and Bonnie smirked, pinching his cheek.

"You said you loved my rendition of Elton John that one time."

"Yes, but have you ever considered being a mime? I think you'd be wonderful."

Damon, Bonnie, Sarah, and Matt continued trading insults as they left the room, and Giuseppe turned to face Gail with a soft smile, as she placed both hands to his jaw and looked into his eyes.

"I should tell them, tonight," Giuseppe said softly, and Gail followed his eyes. "The longer I wait, the worse it'll be."

"I know. But… let them have this. Just today. Especially Damon," Gail replied as he bit his trembling lip. "He deserves some good to remember you by. You have time."

Giuseppe nodded as she planted a soft kiss to his cheek and without another word, they walked out too, to join the others.

A/N: hi y'all! Back with another installment and I hope it was worth the wait. I've been super busy with the new year, but I wanted to make sure to get this one out for everyone who may have been waiting so I hope you enjoyed it. How are we feeling about Damon and Bonnie finally getting to explore their relationship and happiness outside of Mystic Falls? Do we think they'll be able to keep this up when they get back? Also, yay for more Sarah as some of you advised you liked her and wanted to see more and of course Giuseppe (and Gail!) finally make an appearance and are we happy with how his talk went with Damon? I feel like Damon has been long overdue for a moment with his father, so it was nice to give them that before whatever it is to come. But what was with the ominous vibes at the end? I'll never tell. As always, thank you so much for your feedback. I am incredibly grateful, and I appreciate every single one of you who reads my story as well as those who offer reviews. Keep them coming! What do we think is next for Bamon? Bonnie's bday is coming toooo so that's gonna be fun to write. You guys have now gone way too long without any drama LOL. Until next time! R/R. Xoxo.


	10. Chapter 10

**Nothing Good Starts in a Getaway Car**

Caroline smiled as she pressed send on an email and took a sip of her Sprite, before heading back to the Excel spreadsheet on her laptop that'd she'd been using to plan Bonnie's surprise birthday party. She'd already picked the color scheme, ordered decorations, selected a caterer, and now she was working on the guest list to send out invitations.

Her fingers tapped against her table at the Grill, and she took her AirPods out when she saw Elena Gilbert approaching, with her hair in a messy bun and an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants under her jeans jacket, before she sat down across from her, placing her hand bag down.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. Got held up," she said as Caroline stopped typing. "What's up?"

"Nothing. How you've been? I haven't heard from you since New Years. I was starting to think you went off the grid."

"I'm not, just busy. With work," Elena replied. "How are you?"

"Great, I'm… planning Bonnie's 30th actually and I wanted to see if you were interested in helping," she said optimistically, as the brunette bit her lip. "I basically have everything done, and I know you two still aren't on speaking terms, but she'll be back in three weeks, and I figured this would be _good_ for you two—"

"I don't think she wants _me_ planning her birthday, Caroline," Elena said as the blonde scrunched her brows. "Like you said—we aren't on speaking terms—and I think I made myself pretty clear that I didn't want anything to do with their relationship."

"What, when you _slapped_ _him_ at a rave?" she asked bluntly and Elena didn't respond, "Seriously? That wasn't cool."

"I know. And I'm sorry. I'll get around to apologizing, once he gives me the last _ten years_ of my life back," she snapped, and Caroline sighed. "Why am I here, Caroline? You can't really think that I would want anything to do with celebrating Bonnie and Damon's relationship, do you?"

"This party isn't about their relationship. It's about _Bonnie_—your _best friend _of 29 years and it would mean so much to her if you were involved. We _always _celebrate our birthday's together, Elena. Just because she's with Damon now, doesn't mean things have to change."

"But everything has changed, Caroline… He was my _boyfriend… _and she was my _sister_, we were _inseparable_… And now? _They're together. _They are _quite literally _on a _honeymoon tour_ in Italy, basking in the glow of their _perfect_ relationship and what, I'm just supposed to pretend that, _that_ doesn't bother me? Because it does, Caroline. It hurts, _a lot._ I feel humiliated."

"And I'm sorry about the way that you found because I agree—you deserved to hear it from Damon and Bonnie, not _see it_, up against his Camaro in her driveway," Caroline said softly. "It's allowed to bother you. Of course, you're allowed to feel _something_ about this, Elena… You wouldn't be _you_ if you didn't."

"But?" she asked, as Caroline took in a deep breath and folded her hands as she met her doe-like eyes. "Because if I know _you, _I know that there's more to say, so just say it. I can take it."

Caroline lowered her tone, though her voice remained even and firm.

"I know that's it's probably upsetting to hear it but as your friend, I have to be honest about what _I've seen_, okay? You and Damon…. were a _toxic relationship_. You _hated _each other after a certain point. You didn't _want_ to be with him any more than he wanted to be with you, and I get it; he wasted your time and he should've been honest with you from the start about his feelings for Bonnie—_he is at fault for that. _But _you_ weren't happy either, Elena. You stopped having sex, you didn't go anywhere together, and when you did it was _miserable _for everyone, because all two you did was fight. It was like you both got off on how much you could hurt each other. So, yeah, excuse me for not understanding _why _you're so upset about them being together—_and being happy; _I feel like I'm missing a major piece of this puzzle. Because quite frankly? When Damon dumped you, he did you a _favor. _Because you are _so much better off_ and so is he and I guess I just think that… the _only possible reason why you could still be so upset_ is because… you still love him; you're still _in _love with him," Caroline assessed carefully but the second the words passed her lips, she hoped they weren't the truth. "Please tell me you're _not _still in love with Damon, Elena."

There was a long silence between the two as Elena looked down at her menu; her fingers grazing against the pages for a moment before she spoke in a voice so soft, Caroline had to tune out all of the background noise in the restaurant just to hear her.

"He was there for me, Caroline, when my parents died," she said, swallowing hard and looking up, with heavy dark lashes. "When I thought I lost _everything, _and I couldn't find a way to get out of bed in the morning after the accident that killed them—_and almost me too_—I still had _him_. He kept me going. He made sure that I ate and paid the bills and didn't drop out of my classes because he knew how much I wanted to be a doctor, just like my Dad was… He helped Jeremy with his college applications and convinced him to go for that baseball scholarship, at University of Denver… He knew about all of my hopes and dreams, and how badly I wanted _so much better_ for my brother—I didn't want him to get stuck in this place, and become depressed, like I was. And I guess I just thought it didn't matter how much we fought—_how many screaming matches we had gotten into over the years over fucking nonsense_—because we had that. We had this _bond_ over our grief, and he made me happy to be alive… He made me _want _to be alive; I couldn't have done it, without him… So, even after we broke up, I thought he'd always still be there, you know? No matter how much time had passed, and wherever our lives took us, I thought one day he'd come to his senses. And maybe—_just maybe—_he'd realize _I _was the one who got away… And he'd finally be mature, and ready to start over again and do things the right way. Because he always came back to me… No matter how far I pushed him away… And because of that I loved him, Caroline. I _still do. _And I _hate_ that I do—because it makes me feel like a _moron_. Because he doesn't love me—not in the same way, he was just co-dependent. And didn't like to lose people, after he lost his mom. He didn't keep coming back to me because he _wanted _to; he did it because I was a bad fucking habit. So, I guess I wasted ten years of his life then too, right?"

There was a long silence between them, and Caroline sighed as she shook her head.

"You're… not a moron, Elena. You fell for someone who was there for you, when you needed it the most… We've all done that. I mean, I dated _Alaric _after Bill died—that just _screams _Daddy Issues," she said as Elena sniffled with a soft laugh, and Caroline smiled though a tear rolled down her cheek. "You and Damon—you didn't know any better than co-dependency and you were dealing with pretty fucked up family situations… It's normal to mistake that comfort for something more… And it's okay to be upset, thinking back on it."

"Not the kind of upset that I feel," she revealed, and Caroline pursed her lips. "Because I just… can't believe that all the signs were there—_the fact that he was so in love with her, already—_and I was just too wrapped up in my own shit to see it… He loves _her, _Caroline, and there's _nothing_ I can do to change that even if I wanted to. And you know what? A part of me _does_ want to, as fucked up as that makes me—because Bonnie is… She's one of the best people I've ever known and even while being angry with her, I know that she never purposely wanted to hurt me. She never has, in 29 years. And I can't pretend like she's never been a good friend to me, because she has… She's a huge reason why I was able to keep it together, too. She's never given up on me; not even now. She texted me to wish me a Happy New Year."

"She hasn't given up, Elena, and that's why you should talk—to get all of this out in the open, so you two can understand each other better. And get back to a place where you trust one another. I know it sounds impossible, but things don't have to end here—"

"But they should. Because she shouldn't trust _me_," Elena said, and Caroline's heart pounded at that and she shook her head as she followed Elena's eyes. "Because if they broke up tomorrow, and he came running, I know what I would do… I would still take Damon back, in a heartbeat."

"Elena…"

"I _can't_ lie. And I can't be happy for them, Care. I can't be friends with Bonnie knowing that _her boyfriend_ just might have been the love of my life, but I lost him... because I never really had him to begin with."

Caroline frowned at that and she grabbed Elena's hands from across the table as she rubbed them softly. She couldn't deny how _defeated _she looked, as the usually well-put-together girl before her resembled somewhat of an acute mess, at just 4 o'clock in the afternoon. She was still beautiful—_she always had been so effortlessly gorgeous—_but it was clear to tell that whatever had been going on in her head since seeing Damon and Bonnie hooking up that night _hadn't _stopped, because she looked like she was still haunted.

But before Caroline could respond, they were greeted by a bubbly brunette with bright green eyes, who slid into the seat beside her with a clipboard and briefcase in hand as she issued them both a smile and set her things on the table. Elena gently pulled her hands away from Caroline's and cleared her throat as she still followed her sullen eyes.

"Hi ladies, sorry I'm late. I've been working my ass off trying to get people to sign this damn petition to get Bonnie her job back before the Fall," Nora said, before she slid the clipboard in Elena's direction with an expectant look. "Speaking of which—I still need your John Hancock, Ms. Gilbert."

Elena looked at Caroline, who stared at her just as expectantly and Elena sighed before she wordlessly picked up a pen and signed it, much to Nora's delight, before she took it back and flipped through the pages of signatures.

"How many more do you need to get her suspension lifted?" Caroline asked in a hopeful tone and Nora exhaled a deep breath.

"For them to take me seriously? About _double_ what I have. Alaric's doing his best as well, trying to rally the men on the faculty for a protest but… I guess we'll see what's going to happen... Anyway, what have I missed? Are we still working on the guest list for Bonnie's party? I'm excited."

"We are, and I am too," Caroline started with a optimistic smile that immediately dropped when Elena stood up and grabbed her bag. "Hey… where are you going?"

"It looks like you and Nora have got this covered. I'm gonna go home—I'm not feeling well. Good luck with the list," Elena said as she walked off quickly and Nora met Caroline's eyes with a confused stare.

"What was that all about? Aren't you guys like a little trifecta?"

Caroline sighed as she pushed her blonde waves back and found her glare. Nora had only been friends with Bonnie for a little over year or so, since she came to Mystic Falls from California and started at Whitmore. She was one of Bonnie's good friends are as far co-workers went but even after the fight between Damon and Enzo, Nora was still pretty clueless because no one had briefed her on how Elena was involved in this mess, too, and she figured if the girl was about to help her plan a party, she might as well be filled in on all the dirty details of the truth. She could consider this Nora's official inauguration into the group.

When the waiter stopped at their table, Caroline ordered two martinis and Nora cocked a brow, as she closed her laptop and let out a deep breath before she faced her.

"I guess I might as well get you caught up on everything that you don't know about all of this... Do you have a few hours to spare?"

XXXXX

"Which one do you think I should wear tomorrow? This one," Bonnie held up a simple but chic black cocktail dress, "Or _this _one?" she asked, as she held up a sexier but also sophisticated, cream off the shoulder cashmere one. "I still _cannot _believe that Matt's gonna _propose _to Sarah," she said giddily as Damon unbuttoned his shirt eh. "It's sweet that he talked you about it with Giuseppe and Gail—he was probably super nervous, wasn't he?"

"He was, I almost felt bad… I thought he was gonna burst a blood vessel at the breakfast table," Damon recalled that very morning, when Bonnie and Sarah decided to go out on the town for the day at Matt's urging to spend some quality time because low and behold, he was planning on proposing to his _sister_ tomorrow, on their final night here before heading back to the states, and he wanted to talk to her family about it beforehand.

Bonnie was right—Matt was batshit nervous as he asked for their permission to ask for Sarah's hand in marriage, but he did well, considering there were no objections between the three, and he even revealed—mostly to Damon—that he was officially putting in his two weeks with the bar, because he had passed all of the tests and had gotten into the Mystic Falls Police Academy; he would be starting as a deputy in training, shortly after returning home from Italy, and Damon was going to have to hire a new bartender when he opened back up.

Damon had to admit, he was happy but also a little bit saddened; he would miss him around the bar as much as he annoyed him because Matt was a good guy, who'd come from a rough upbringing, with an absentee dad and mother who passed away, leaving him to care for his younger sister Vicki, his entire life growing up. The two had, had some deep conversations and had undoubtedly gotten closer thanks to this trip, and Damon related to him in some ways because he understood the pressure of how much it could be on one kid to be basically parenting for another. But he also knew Matt had been through far more trying experiences than he had, because the Salvatore's had at least always been privileged enough to always have a roof over their heads and food to eat, while Matt got a job at 14 years old to help his father pay the bills and make ends meet.

It had—secretly—been one of the reasons why Damon paid him so well and even promoted him to a shift manager at the bar; because the kid was a hustler, and always found a way to make something out of the little that he had been given. Matt had the work ethic, drive, and most importantly the _morals _to be someone who could go far in his life and Damon was proud of him, despite all of the shit he'd given him—_and Sarah, for dating him_— because Matt helped him put his own life into perspective. He may have loved to bust his chops but ultimately, he was honored and happy he hadn't been able to scare him off. Sarah deserved the best, and as much as he hated to admit it, Matt was it.

And he was happy he was going to have another brother after all of this. One who didn't actually fucking _hate him_, this time.

Bonnie's voice drew him slowly out of his thoughts.

"You _almost _felt bad?" Bonnie snorted and Damon shrugged.

"What? It's still _Donovan. _I can't go completely soft."

"You're an asshole," she said shaking her head and he smiled before pointing at the cream-colored cashmere dress, and Bonnie nodded as she held it up in front of her. "Yeah? This one?"

"Absolutely. You're gonna look like a sex-kitten and I _personally_ can't wait."

"The idea is to _not _take the attention off of your sister," she replied, and Damon scoffed as he unzipped his pants and folded them quickly before tossing them with his things as well. "Maybe I'll find out what she's wearing _first_ and then I'll work around that."

"Or maybe you can just accept the fact that you turn _a lot of heads, anywhere you go_, whether you're in a two-piece string bikini, or a burlap sack, because you're beautiful," Damon said and Bonnie pursed her lips at that as she bit back a smile and he plopped onto the king size guest bed at his parent's house. "So, like I said—_go with the sex-kitten look._ You know you want to drive me crazy."

Bonnie licked her teeth at that as she placed both dresses down on the chair and approached him in her pajamas. She lands both hands on his bare chest and smoothed down to his abs, as Damon looked at her knowingly before he grabbed her firmly at the hips. His thumbs slowly caressed her against her skin, beneath her flannel shirt.

"Is that an order? You know how I feel about you getting _bossy_."

"You fucking _love it_, you little freak," he whispered, and she laughed at as she bit her lip and Damon pulled her in even closer, as his lips pressed to ear. "You hate when I tell you what to do in _real life_ but in the bedroom… I'm inclined to say you are kind of a submissive, Bonnie Bennett."

Bonnie scoffed at that as she shook her head and pulled back slightly.

"Hold up— I am _not_ a submissive. Ever. From what I recall, you've _let me_ tie you up a few times. And I'm on top _a lot... _And have you _seen _the bruises and scratches I've given you?"

"Yeah, because you know that _I like that.._. You're _very _eager to please," he said, and she furrowed her brows. "What? It's not a bad thing! I mean personally, I love a good bossy lady—which you _are_, in regular life situations—however in the sack you're different. You like a little bit of pain and some punishment… You like to lose control but also be _controlled_. And I'm totally into it, just so you know. I have _never _spanked someone, so much in my life, and it's fucking hot—"

"Take it back," she nudged him with her index, as she spoke between her teeth and Damon snorted with a roll of his eyes. "Seriously—"

"No way! I'm the dom, you're the sub, it's just the circle of life and the way that it is—"

"You know, Caroline told me months ago I should've had this conversation with you," Bonnie folded her arms. "She said you _would _assume you were the dom because of all of the things I _let_ you do in bed."

"Because I am, _duh_, also… you talked about this with Caroline? You know she's my sister-in-law, right?"

"Yeah, well, she's also my best friend, so I get dibs. She knows everything."

"Everything?"

"_Everything_," Bonnie verified with a wink and his mind flash backed to some of the _freakier _moments in bed with Bonnie and he scratched his jaw as he tried to think if there were any that were particularly obscene—there were definitely a few he chuckled at, himself.

"So…. _Everything... _Like the fact that I went down on you ten times in _one day_ and you came—every single time," he said and Bonnie rolled her eyes at the unfortunate truth but she nodded, and Damon's cheeks formed into a gloating smile.

"She was thrilled. She knows how hard that was for me, in all of my past relationships," she said, because it was true; Damon had made her orgasm more in the past few months than she had with the six other guys _combined… "_She's a fan of the fact you always make sure that I'm satisfied," Bonnie quoted, and his gloating grin expanded even more. "Honestly, you're _so_ annoying."

"I know I am. So, tell me more," he inched up and Bonnie sighed with a smile as he pulled her in again.

"Like what?"

"Like… Blondie knows that we're having sex without condoms and I don't pull out anymore so, we're basically serving up the cream cocktail—_pun intended_—"

"I think I just threw up in my mouth—"

"… To have a _kid, _even though neither one of us wants kids right _now,_" he finished, and Bonnie bit her lip and nodded as his eyes went wide in disbelief. "Wait, so she _knows_, and hasn't arranged for my vasectomy? What gives?"

"She thinks we are _insane_ for not taking more precautions_, _but… she also thinks that we would deal with _whatever _happens, _when_ it happens… right?" she asked softly and Damon focused his eyes on her at that, as Bonnie swallowed hard. "I just mean, because I'm religious—_or whatever_—and I think every woman has the right to choose… But I wouldn't _not _have it—"

"I know," he said softly, and Bonnie's lips pressed shut as a long silence passed between them and he looked down briefly before looking back into her eyes. "I wouldn't expect you _not _to keep it, I… think you'd be a great mom, Bennett," he added, and Bonnie didn't say a word in response, as his fingers slowly pushed back her wavy curls and she watched his soft pink lips. "And me, as a dad, I mean, I'd probably suck—forget the baby at the supermarket, or Target, or something—"

"You wouldn't suck, Damon," she shook her head offered a calm and supportive smile. "I think… you'd actually make an awesome dad."

"Me?" he asked in disbelief. "I drink _a lot. _I'm impulsive, I tend to overthink things, I'm reckless, as all _hell_—"

" But you're patient when you want to be—I mean, you waited for me, for _12 years_… and you never stopped loving me that entire time even when I was about to _marry _someone else; your love is unconditional, Damon, and… You _can _put other people first… You do so with me and Stefan all the time…You're protective—like how you are with Sarah. And you… have a softness, Damon, that I don't think that you realize that you have… I saw it the other night, when you talked to your dad," she revealed, and he gulped down and didn't say a word. "He felt so _bad_ about himself, because of how much you took onto your plate as a kid. But you _forgave _him… You showed him kindness, when he just wanted to take the blame and he needed that… He _needed _you to forgive him… Just like you _needed _to hear that he was proud of you," Bonnie said as her hands smoothed up to his cheeks and Damon's eyes continued to stare straight into hers; he hung on every single word that fell from her pretty and perfect lips. "That's… why I am not scared, Damon—and I'm willing to let whatever will be, just _be… _Because, I _know you_. And I've gotten to know even _more _about you, these past few weeks, though I wasn't sure that it was possible… I know that you would make an _amazing father_, if we had a family someday… If that's what we _both _want," she said and Damon leaned in and kissed her at that, immediately nodding his head.

"I do—I want _everything _with you, Bonnie."

"Because _I _want that, or because _you_ want that?" she asked as she pursed her lips. "Because as much as it pains me to say it, that was the _one _thing my dad was right about…that _you_ have to want this stuff, as much as I do if we're gonna continue this—if we're gonna make it work. Otherwise you'll resent me, one day… And I don't want to lose you; not as my best friend, and certainly not as the love of my life," she said, and Damon bit his lip at that as her eyes grew serious. "I love you Damon, _so fucking much,_ that it scares me, sometimes. And the idea of losing you in any capacity literallymakes me _sick_—"

"You won't _ever_ lose me," he shook his head as his thumb tilted her chin up and he smiled earnestly, while his voice remained soft. "You will _never _lose me, because I'm not going anywhere. You're my future, Bonnie—I can say that with certainty that I know that I will be with you _forever_... I've never been so sure about something in my life," he said, and she sighed with soft relief as he continued to stroke her chin. "I'm_ going _to marry you, because I can't think of a better way to start my journey to _forever _than with you, as my best friend… My future wife," he said, and she smiled at that. "And kids? I mean, I could manage to have a couple of rugrats around. I'd love to have a family with you because you're _perfect_, to me, and it would be _cruel _not to procreate with somebody as fucking _hot_ as you," he added and Bonnie giggled at that as he smiled.

Her fingers smoothed through his hair, as they kissed again, and Damon moaned against her lips before she departed; his lashes fluttered softly, and she smiled genuinely when her forehead pressed to his and they just remained there silently for a while, basking in the glow of the existence of a love this _strong, _it could transcend space and time, through any universe, no matter what happened and they would both feel just the same.

"A couple? I thought you'd want like _one."_

"If we're having kids, we're going all out," he said with conviction as Bonnie grinned. "I'm talking an _entire _football team—_or cheerleading team. Or any team. I have no gender preference. _But we've got to have enough to stack into a minivan. Or a minibus. A _tour bus_—" his eyes widened imaginatively, and Bonnie shook. "What if we just have enough kids to have our own traveling circus?"

"Maybe you should start wearing condoms again," she joked, and he smiled as he found her eyes. "But in all seriousness, Damon… That's all I needed to hear—that this isn't just about _me_; but it's about you, too. I want to, one day, do those things… for the right reasons. I just want to make sure we're on the same page."

"I know," he nodded as he kissed her nose, "Anything you say to me never falls on deaf ears, Bennett. You know that much is true."

Bonnie grinned and bit her lip as she followed his eyes and smoothed her palms down his chest again, to the waistband of his boxer-briefs. He closed the distance between them and kissed her again; her eyes fluttering shut when she felt his tongue slowly creep into her mouth and his hands rise from her hips to the back of her hair, while he kissed her longingly—holding her in place, with a firm grip to her scalp. Within seconds, she pushed his back onto the bed and climbed on top of him. He lifted a brow as he felt her slowly grind her hips on top of his until she felt him get hard and he let out a gentle groan when her mouth sucked on his neck, until she finally spoke. Her voice was as light as a feather.

"So, when I say that I'm the dom…"

"Goddamn it, I knew that was a trick," he mumbled and Bonnie laughed as she slid off of him and back to her feet as he scowled, though his dimples were already shining through from the smile beneath it. "Where you going?"

"I'm gonna go get some water. You should probably jerk off in the bathroom before I get back," she said, and he scoffed playfully before he leaned in for one more kiss, before he plopped his head back on the pillow. "Do you need anything?"

"You, to hurry back. So, I can fuck the _shit _out of you—"

"Not happening."

"Fine. Hurry back so we can be wholesome and cuddle," he said.

"I can do that,"she said as she walked out and he smiled, as Bonnie shut the door behind her with a smirk and tip-toed down two flights of stairs to the kitchen on the main floor.

When she walked and headed towards the cabinet, she nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Giuseppe was already there, sitting at the table. Bonnie clutched her heart but smiled warmly, as did the man, when their eyes met in the dark and she flipped on the light switch, illuminating the spacious kitchen in an instant as she exhaled a deep breath.

"Sorry—I didn't mean to interrupt," she apologized and stopped when she noticed a hoard of different pills on the table, as Giuseppe continued to smile at her silently. "Are you okay?"

"Yes just… my nightly ritual," he said evenly, and Bonnie folded her arms at that but didn't budge when she noticed something heavy beyond his normally stoic eyes.

Bonnie had known Damon's father since she was born; their parents had been friends growing up, and though Giuseppe never really let anyone get _too _close to him—not even his own kids—he had always been kind towards her. She wouldn't say she had _warm _memories of him, because he wasn't particularly a _warm person_, but she didn't have any bad ones, either, as Mr. Salvatore regularly let her come over for playdates and often dropped Damon off at her Grams', so they could spend the weekend playing video games and learning to cook with Sheila. His father had always been supportive of their relationship—_and her—_as she recalled him attending her graduation for her masters, and coming to the football games when they were in high school, as he sat with Damon in the bleachers and applauded her on when she got onto the field in her cheerleading uniform the first year she finally made captain.

She remembered going to the aquarium, because there was a period when she was _obsessed_ with whales and Damon convinced his dad to take them all the time, despite the fact that it was a two hour trip out of town, they had to spend the entire day there, Giuseppe had so much work at home to do. He'd take them ice cream, often, even though Damon's mom hated it, and warned them that too many sweets would make their bellies ache before bedtime. She was right, but his dad let them have it anyway, and she always appreciated the fact that it had become _their thing _when they were hanging out with him. As much as he hated to admit it, he had a soft spot for his son. And one for her too, even if she wasn't his kid. And making them happy, made _him _happy.

He was genuinely a _good person,_ even after the loss of Damon's mom, that turned him into even more a workaholic to numb himself to the inevitable feelings of grief and pain following her death. Bonnie knew he was dealing with it, deep down, though he didn't want to show it, because he was trying to be strong for his kids. _He was trying to raise strong men_, and she knew it was one of the main reasons he never let his emotions show, because to him, it would make Stefan and Damon weak. And they were already damaged, from losing their mother too soon, to an unforgiving sickness that gave them less than 3 months with her once she was diagnosed, because it progressed so quickly. They barely had a chance to say goodbye.

Lilian had been the first person that Bonnie knew who died, when she was 8.

Later, she'd lost grandparents on her Dad's side, and her grandfather on her mother's. After that, death didn't come again until they were all rocked by it when Elena's parents died in a boating accident the summer before college; one that had almost claimed Elena, too, when the coast guard found her unconscious and hypothermic, nearly lost in the rip current, before the EMT's brought her to the hospital and back to life.

But as a kid, at 8 years old, she didn't really understand it yet, and wasn't sure Damon did either, because even after watching his own mom pass away, it was almost like he couldn't grasp it that she wasn't ever coming back. It didn't really sink in for him, until a couple of months later, when he noticed his father was drinking more, and his mother just _never came home_, despite how long he waited up for her at night, singing himself and Stefan to sleep, with her favorite lullabies, just like she had always done.

His father was a good man—but he didn't know how to process his own grief, so he certainly didn't know how to deal with Damon or Stefan, who both reacted to it in completely different ways, but ultimately just needed their dad, even though he couldn't be there for them in the way that they deserved. And that was when Bonnie realized that this unshakeable force was human, just like the rest of them. And _she _needed to be there for Damon, because if she wasn't? Who knew what would happen?

She didn't want to _think _about what could've happened.

She eased out of her thoughts as Giuseppe juggled a couple of his pills in hand, and she bit her trembling lip as it wordlessly sunk in that it was happening again; the heavy, inevitable, calm before the storm was _happening right now, in front of her_, and she knew there was no way that Damon knew, because they would've talked about this. She had a feeling _no one knew, _except for Gail, and that suddenly choked her up a little bit, when she finally sat down in the seat beside him and looked into his eyes. Giuseppe offered her a grave but silent smile.

She had no idea what to do. But she had to say something.

"You're sick," she said, and he nodded, as Bonnie exhaled, not wanting to ask what she knew should come next. "Are you going to get better?"

"The doctors think I'm beyond that," he answered honestly, and she felt her eyes well up immediately.

"How long do you have?" she asked, feeling two feet tall, and Giuseppe pursed his lips—his eyes never dropped from hers.

"Most likely a few months," he said, and Bonnie's breath hitched. "I was having this chest pain, for a while and Gail finally convinced me to see someone about it one day, after I collapsed... When they discovered the tumor, the doctors said that I was already in stage 3 of my lung cancer," he added, and Bonnie's eyes blinked softly as she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Surgery isn't an option at this point, so I've been undergoing chemo radiation. The medications are to help with the pain… Gail also has me going to a support group, can you imagine? Me, in a group, talking about my feelings," he said teasingly, and Bonnie smiled, though a tear rolled down her cheek. "I've… been waiting to talk to both Damon and Sarah about it—Stefan, as well. But I just can't bear to hurt them like this… Especially with Matthew proposing tomorrow. It's supposed to be a happy day… So, I'm trying to be strong, for them."

"I get it—you don't have to explain it to me—"

"I do, Bonnie… because you're the love of my son's life… He's going to marry you, someday. I know it. And I may not get to see it," he said with a smile as Bonnie bit her trembling lip. "But you'll have to be there for him, once he finds out about me… You'll have to help him stay strong, just like you always do. Because I won't be there to remind him," he said as she nodded and wiped her tear stained cheeks. "This is going to break his heart the most—even more than Sarah and Stefan… It's why I've had so much trouble saying it. Because I know it will _destroy_ him, if he lets it and he might… He's come a long way, from how he was when Lilian died, but… I—"

Bonnie leaned in and wrapped her arms around him tightly at that; her tears fell onto his shoulder and they remained in the quiet embrace for the next few minutes before she finally nodded her head and spoke gently, though he heard her just as clear as ever.

"I'll take care of him. I promise… But you _have _to tell him Giuseppe, before it's too late."

XXXXX

Elena moaned as she gripped tightly onto the hair of the man in front of her; her lips colliding with his, over and over again, as their naked bodies slapped against one another and she ground in lap, with his firm hands guiding her hips. Her pink lips separated from his long enough for her to throw her head back in pleasure and she heard him groan in response as she continued to bounce up and down on him feverishly. His palms slid down to her ass and grabbed it firmly; the coldness of his wedding band chilled her bones.

"I'm coming," she said into the air, as her messy bun slipped out of her hair tie, and her locks tumbled down his shoulders, "_Oh my God."_

And she exploded—all over him, and the blanket on her couch—as she fell into his strong arms and he continued his pace in an effort to finish too, to which he did within seconds of feeling her dripping all over him. He sighed as he kissed her again; his hand firmly holding her hair, before he finally released his grip and her hips. She stood up and he watched on as she took a deep breath, before pulling on her t-shirt over her breasts and retying her hair back into a messy top knot, as he pulled off the condom.

"Water?" she asked breathlessly, and he nodded as she walked off quickly to the kitchen to wash her hands before she poured two glasses from the pitcher in the refrigerator.

When she walked back into her dimly lit living room he was already dressed in his boxers again as he thanked her and took a sip. Elena sat on the other end of the couch with her knees to her chest as she watched him, checking his phone and scratching his fingers throughout his dark hair.

"How was your talk with Caroline?" he asked, as he felt her eyes on him and she sighed as he looked up; brown eyes meeting hers. "That bad, huh?"

"It sucked," Elena said without a beat of hesitation, putting down her glass. "She wants me to think that she actually cares about how I feel in all of this, but I know that she doesn't… It's Bonnie, after all. I don't know what I expected, anyway… I've always been the outsider in their friendship," she said, and he frowned at that as she cleared her throat. "Anyway, thanks for coming over, again. "I… promise to stop calling you to hook-up then bitch about my friends. I'm sure you could care less—"

"On the contrary, I care—because we're friends. Also, it's not like I've got much else to do now," he said with a soft smile. "This doesn't always have to be so… _transactional, _Elena_. _You know that, right?"

Elena sighed at that and before she could answer, the doorbell rang; her brow lifted at that because she wasn't expecting any more visitors—_or booty calls_—and she flashed him an apologetic look and he nodded in understanding, as he grabbed his clothes and quietly dipped off to her bedroom upstairs.

Elena pulled on her sweatpants that lay on the ground and adjusted her bun one more time before she got to the door, and pulled it open; her eyes widening in confusion when she saw the 5'4 woman standing in front of her, with familiar electric green eyes as Elena stepped out onto the porch and drew the door in behind her.

She probably should've put on a jacket, she realized, as she moved her arms over her chest and offered a tight smile.

Her nipples could probably cut glass right now.

"Hi Elena, sorry to drop by like this, but I wanted to check in on you—make sure you were okay after the Grill," Nora said with concern laced in her voice and Elena's brows rose. "Caroline… told me everything. I… had no idea Damon was your ex-boyfriend," she said, and Elena took in a deep breath and nodded. "Holy shit."

There was silence between them before Elena sighed and followed Nora's piercing green eyes.

"Yeah, Damon and I… were together, for a very long time," she said pursing her lips as the girl. "So, there's obviously _tension _now that he's dating my _former _best friend," Elena said, and Nora frowned, looking even smaller in her long, dark blue peacoat.

"Are you really never going to speak to her again?" Nora asked lightly and Elena shrugged but remained wordless. "Because that's no way to end a friendship, Elena, trust me… The way Bonnie talked about you, at work—she admires you, _so much_… She was in awe of the way you survived all that you'd been through, and I'm… extremely sorry about your parents by the way. I-I know that I'm just a _stranger _to you, right now on your porch but… I can tell that you're broken. And I also know from experience that things can get better, if you let them… But you shouldn't let go of the people who care about you and want to be there, especially with how quickly any of us can be gone, in the blink of an eye," Nora said as Elena swallowed hard, still standing rigid.

"I appreciate you stopping by, Nora, I do. But I just think… Bonnie and I's friendship being over is for the best. You could probably even replace me in the friend group, if you wanted. I've heard Ric singing your praises over the petition you started… It's getting a lot of traction," Elena said, and she was being honest.

Everyone in Mystic Falls had been talking about this bold British _bitch _who had the nerve to start a campaign to get Bonnie Bennett her job back at Whitmore, after calling out the President and the board of trustees at the college for their blatant sexism, implicit racism, and tone-deaf victim-blaming when it came to their female employees not receiving the same support as their white-male counterparts, when undergoing scrutiny aimed at their personal lives. Nora penned a powerful essay for the town newspaper, the Mystic Falls Examiner, and she was being regarded as a feminist hero by other women who began to come forward about their own experiences with unfairness in the workplace.

She was getting people fired up—and rightfully so—because she was impassioned to do the right thing by Bonnie Bennett; the first person who even talked to her when she came Whitmore as a Women's Studies professor. They were always immediately typecast as scary, so everyone avoided them, but Bonnie didn't, and the two became great friends who regularly went out to Happy Hour and read Women's Lit novels on break together, when grabbing a coffee. Hearing that Elena and Bonnie were no longer speaking over Bonnie's newfound happiness with her ex-boyfriend upset her because she didn't like to see anyone feel like they were alone, and that was why she stopped by, despite barely knowing her and maybe only meeting Elena a handful of times. Bonnie was her friend—probably one of the best and realest she'd ever had, considering she was living in L.A the past few years, where most of the people were even faker than their spray tans—and by extension, she cared about the people that Bonnie cared about too.

She was happy for Damon and Bonnie as well; she'd always seen the sparks between them when he joined them for Happy Hour and when Bonnie told her about her engagement and invited her to her wedding, she had even automatically assumed it was to _him_, because, _well duh_. But being happy for Bonnie and Damon didn't mean that she had to hate Elena. And she hoped to show Elena that she could learn to forgive this and let bygones be bygones, because at the end of the day, their friendship wasn't worth throwing away over a man. Of course, it made things tougher when Caroline revealed that Elena told her she was still _in love _with said man. But Nora didn't believe that to be true, after the blonde also explained how toxic their relationship had really been.

She believed Elena _thought _she still loved him. But it sounded like it was mostly about comfort. She was comfortable with Damon for so many years, because she knew what to expect. And when he pivoted, and did something inherently different, by falling for Bonnie and not coming back for her, it bruised her ego. But that didn't mean that she _loved him_, in the way that she believed that she did. She was just possessive over him. And Nora knew a thing or two about possessive partners in relationships.

After all, she'd dated her ex, Mary Louise, for 8 years and their break-up was the reason why she left L.A. She was now the expert, and the authority on recognizing and calling out jealous and resentful behavior when she saw it. It was how she'd had Enzo pegged so early, too, when she met him. The guy _reeked _of an alpha male aura that seemed to be equalized by his intelligence and charm, but Nora had never been fooled. And she knew it was only a matter of time until Bonnie left him. She just hoped it wouldn't take 8 years, like it did for her.

"I'm not here to take your place, Elena, this isn't some type of _Mean Girls _tactic… I think you're just in need a friend," She said and Elena swallowed hard at that as Nora held out her hand. "Give me your phone."

"Why?"

"Just do it," Nora said, and Elena sighed as she pulled her iPhone out of her pocket and handed it to her, as she watched her type quickly, before giving it back to her and a smile crossed her lips.

"Your phone number?"

"Yes, Elena, my number. And you didn't have to work for it—so, call me, anytime… We'll go out for a drink. You don't have to feel like you're so alone," Nora said, and Elena exhaled and nodded at that, as she slid it back into her pocket. "I'll… let you get back to whatever it is that you were doing. I'm sure you're having a riveting Saturday night, thinking about all of the ways you're going to avoid me, from now on," Nora joked, and Elena's lips inched into a smile at that before she shrugged.

"You caught me. You're good."

"No, I've just been ghosted _way _too many times," she replied with an easy smile and Elena's smile remained, as the girl spun on her heel and began to walk off. She stopped when she looked at the white Jaguar F-Type R in the driveway and she scrunched her brows as she looked at Elena. "Sports car? I never pegged you for the type."

"What do you mean? You can't see me doing 180 down your local highway, all _James Bond-ish_, with a hot girl on the passenger side? That's sexist. And as the _fearless, feminist leader _of this shitty town,I expected better…"

"First off—assuming the _hot girl _wouldn't want to be the driver, is sexist, but I'll let that one slide because you're well, _hot_… Secondly, it's not my fault you give off more of a… broke-down, station-wagon type vibe," Nora smiled, and Elena scoffed as the girl continued to make her way down the stairs. "I guess when we get that drink, you'll be able to change my mind, then."

"Maybe I will," Elena said with a smile and Nora walked away at that, as she got back into her car and in moments was gone, just as quickly as she had arrived.

Elena chewed her lip at that and locked the door.

When she turned around, there he was again, almost at her heels, with the same charming smile that got her into this mess in the first place, as he slipped his black jacket on and grabbed the keys to his Jaguar off of the coffee table. Elena shut her eyes when his lips landed against her cheek softly; only reopening them again to meet his gaze when she inhaled the scent of his woodsy cologne and suddenly felt naked before him, even though she was fully clothed.

_Minus the fact that she still wasn't wearing a bra or any underwear._

"You're leaving?" she asked, and he nodded, as she tucked a strand behind her ear. "I didn't know you had plans."

"I do. Sybil called, while you were outside. She wants to try this new Parisian place, downtown and talk about investing in my museum… I'm sure we won't get to the second part, but a man can pray. So, until next time, Ms. Gilbert," he said, and she nodded quietly as she walked past her and made his way over to the door; her voice suddenly stopping him in his tracks.

"There… probably shouldn't be a next time, Enzo," she said carefully, and he nodded in agreement as he spun around and met her round, perfectly round brown eyes.

"Trust me, I know."

"So, why do we keep… doing this? Especially when we've established there's nothing else between us. If you're looking for the physical, you can get that anywhere. It's just sex."

And it had been, since he returned from Boston, after the New Year, and she reached out to see how he was doing, after hearing about everything that happened at the gala from Jo, who heard from Alaric. She should've hated Enzo, after hearing about what he had said to Bonnie, and finding out she'd been suspended from her job because of it. They made plans to meet up for a drink to talk about it because even if Bonnie wasn't her friend anymore, she felt like she owed her that much. Elena could attest to how hard she had worked for her career. And watching it all go up in flames, in seconds, the minute Enzo called her out in front of everyone at her job was horrific, and he deserved to know.

He needed to know that he was wrong.

So, he came over. And she handed his ass to him, for about ten minutes straight, and she was angry and frustrated because she had no idea why she was getting involved in the first place when she promised herself she would be better than that. She vowed that she was not going to get herself wrapped up in their shit.

But the next thing she knew, she was fucking Enzo—right there against her kitchen counter, before either of them had even had a drop of alcohol in their system and she couldn't quite understand why. At the rave, she'd been able to blame the palpable chemistry on just that—_chemistry, literally; _because they were both drunk, high, and overly flirty due to the MDMA—_and whatever the hell else was in those pills _. She'd seen him with Damon moments before and she was sure he'd told him to stay where he was and far away from her.

And maybe that was why she did it, she convinced herself. Because she wanted to piss Damon off.

But she knew Damon didn't care, really. And she also knew using Damon as an excuse could maybe explain the _why_ the first time, but it'd happened again, since then. In fact they were now up to 3 nights just this week with this _rendezvous, _and though she told herself every time _was _the last time, she couldn't control the sensations he made her feel, when he slammed her against her bed, or fucked her right there against the wall, because he was impatient and she was horny and it made for a deadly recipe. They were putting misguided efforts into each other, though they ultimately knew it wasn't right or what either of them really wanted.

After all, she'd spent the afternoon bawling her eyes out over Damon and a bottle of prosecco after she made it home from the Grill because she'd finally admitted it to Caroline—and herself—that she still loved him, despite how fucking wrong he did her. And Enzo clearly still wanted Bonnie—_he was still wearing his wedding band, for Christ Sakes—_though Elena was now his third rebound since finding out her affair with Damon, and she wasn't quite sure what to make of that.

She was worried this was going to become a _thing, _but then later felt reassured when she found out she wasn't the first person he'd slept with since then. Because apparently, there had been a _Sybil, _who was a client at the museum that he spoke candidly about with her, the second time they had sex. The woman wasn't shy about calling him even when he was here; blowing up his phone for hours until he finally answered and cut the night short, to go see her and take her to dinner, as she had requested.

And there was also a _Valerie, _in Boston, who was his friend Julian's sister—they were the ones he'd gone to visit—and it turned out she had harbored a crush on him for a century or so, before he had finally decided to put her out of her misery on New Year's Eve and sleep with her, because she was artsy and attractive, though she was nothing like Bonnie from the sounds of it. And that just didn't do it for him, unfortunately.

But fucking Elena did. Probably because it was wrong, vindictive, and vengeful. She wasn't at all his type either, but they had mind blowing sex together and that was enough for now.

"Well Elena," he walked in closer, as his hands met his suit pockets. "I suppose it's what your little friend at the door said… No one should have to feel like they're so alone… I've spent too many years of my life that I'll never get back, being alone," he answered, and she exhaled softly.

"You heard that?"

"Every word… She's inspiring."

Elena couldn't deny that.

When he left was when she felt it again.

The deafening silence and loneliness, as she stood there contemplating opening another bottle of wine. The internal battle was short-lived because she did, as she poured the pinot noir into a glass and sat down at her kitchen table, unconsciously taking her iPhone out of her pocket and typing a message quickly before she hit send. She tapped her fingers nervously against the table.

_So, what made you think I was a broke-down station wagon type vibe? _

Her phone pinged immediately in response—almost a second later—and Elena instantly smiled when she read it.

_Because you dress like a bum. A cute bum. Which I guess is just a hipster these days, huh? _

XXXXX

"Hey, you okay?" Bonnie heard and she looked up from her cacio e pepe cavatelli pasta, as Damon leaned into her closely and spoke in a soft whisper. "You haven't touched your food."

Bonnie smiled, before popping a forkful into her mouth and swallowed it as Damon lifted a brow. She immediately grabbed her wine to wash it down and squeezed his hand softly beneath the table, as he continued to suspiciously follow her eyes.

"I'm fine, just tired," she nodded, and he kissed her hand before finally smiling as well and lowering his octave even lower.

"I know it's been a long day, but it won't be too much longer," he said, and she nodded. "I promise to have you tucked in by midnight."

She could only hope for that, as they sat at the table across from Giuseppe, Gail, Sarah, and Matt, at a beautiful contemporary restaurant for dinner, and wine, after spending the entire day with the family, having a catered breakfast, going to the vineyards, having lunch, heading back to the mansion to change, and now they were here and this was finally it. They were having Matt and Sarah's last sit down dinner before they took off back to the states, and Bonnie wished she could say she was anxious, because of the looming proposal that was set to happen after this course, but she knew the worry brewing in her stomach had nothing to do with that, because she'd been _off _the entire day, since speaking to Giuseppe last night.

When she finally found herself back in the guest bedroom after crying her eyes out for a half hour, Damon was already fast asleep—and thankfully so—because it would've been hard to explain to him why she went downstairs for a glass of water and didn't come back until 30 minutes later. She'd already had a hard enough time explaining why she wasn't in the mood for sex this morning, when Damon woke her up with a trail of sweet kisses down her neck and his hand in her underwear, before she gently eased him away, and told him she was too tired. Cut to breakfast, lunch, and now dinner, where she'd barely eaten anything—because she was so terrified she couldn't hold it down—and Giuseppe had successfully been able to go about as if nothing happened; as if he hadn't basically told her that he was on his _death bed _and she hadn't told him he needed to inform his son, before it was too late.

That wasn't gonna happen tonight. After all, it was Sarah's night—though she didn't know it and Bonnie couldn't help but marvel at how beautiful she looked, in her long sleeve royal blue dress, and she knew Matt felt the same because he nearly cried when he saw her, though Damon politely urged him to keep it together—at least until he gave her the ring.

Bonnie had—unexplainably—been a quiet mess all day too, and Damon was starting to take notice, because she hadn't been able to stop eating since coming to Italy, but suddenly she had no appetite?

She shoved another forkful into her mouth and smiled again, as he still held her hand.

She really was going to have to get better at this if she was expected to keep this secret for _however longer _Giuseppe decided she needed to, before he could tell his son.

Bonnie was pulled out of her thoughts when the elder man cleared his throat and raised his glass, as they all followed his lead, while he offered a smile.

"I'd like to propose a toast—to every person here. You've all made this incredible night possible and I can't thank you all enough for coming here to see Gail and I… This family means the world to us. It always will. And because we're family, we must always stick together—through _anything _life throws at us… whether it's good, or whether it's bad," Giuseppe said as he met Bonnie's eyes and she swallowed hard at that. "I know that I'm not always the most forthcoming when it comes to you both, Sarah, and Damon… and it's not because I don't trust or respect you… but it's because as your father, I've only wanted to do what's _right _for you… and right now… I need do what's right."

Damon's brow lifted at that as he turned to face Sarah who looked just as confused but remained silent. Bonnie gripped Damon's hand even tighter beneath the table and she was sure she was going to fracture every bone in his body because she was holding on so strongly.

"That was cryptic," Damon said first as he followed his dad's blue eyes and Giuseppe's face remained stoic. "What do you have to do?"

Bonnie's heart pounded out of her chest as she bit her lip when the table grew silent and focused their attention on Giuseppe as he faced both Damon and Sarah silently, before opening his mouth to speak.

"Bring us together as a family… _All _of us," he said, and Damon's brows scrunched and Sarah's mouth dropped as she immediately shot out of her chair at the sight of none other than Stefan, walking through the doors of the restaurant, dressed in a nice suit, with his hands in his pockets when his eyes met theirs; offering a simple but sure smile before Sarah leapt into his arms happily.

He laughed as he embraced her tightly and Bonnie's glance immediately shot to Damon, who had an incomprehensible expression on his face, as they all heard Sarah babbling on excitedly in his arms, while the rest of them watched; Giuseppe wearing a satisfied smile. Bonnie for sure thought he was going to tell them about the cancer but this? It was almost more shocking because they had _no clue _Stefan was coming to Italy, and Caroline hadn't said a word in her email from earlier, so she was thoroughly confused. Was she here too? And if so, where?

Bonnie could use her best friend right now, and she wanted nothing more than to see her face if she _was _in fact in Italy, right now, with Stefan because she needed her. She needed Caroline's advice so badly.

It seemed he was going to get the answer to her question though as he finally made it to the table, still holding Sarah's hand, as she smiled excitedly.

"Caroline's sad she couldn't make it. We couldn't get our nanny, so last minute, but she wanted to tell everyone that she said hi, and she misses you. Especially you, Bonnie," he looked to her and she nodded with a soft smile. "I didn't even know I'd be here, until a few hours ago—dad called me last night; he'd already booked my flight and my stay… I-I couldn't say no. I wanted to be here with you all," he said as his eyes met Damon's and his brother ticked his jaw but didn't say a word.

Sarah filled in the silence with another shriek as she held him tightly and brushed his hair back with her hands.

"What are you doing here? Not that I don't _want _you here—but seriously, dad? The _last night _of my trip? That's not nearly enough time to catch up," she pouted, and Stefan bit his lip at that as Giuseppe cleared his throat.

"He's not here to catch up, sweetie… He's here to be a big brother, alongside Damon, during one of the most important moments of your life," Giuseppe said and Sarah's brow lifted at that as she glanced at the family and Stefan let go of her hand slowly, with a smile.

"Why are y'all looking at me like you're the _Children of the Corn? _What's going on?"

"Sarah," she heard Matt say, and when she turned around, he was bended down on one knee and her hand immediately covered her mouth in shock, as his baby blue eyes looked deeply into hers and she held her breath for the words he was going to say next.

Bonnie's anxiousness multiplied again; but this time, in a _good way_, as she pursed her lips and her cheeks expanded into a huge grin as Damon looked back at her, with an intoxicating smile and squeezed her hand once more beneath the table, as they both listened on.

"Sarah, I… love you. I have known that I've loved you since you walked into the bar for the first time, and ignored me, because you saw a jukebox machine in the corner, and you insisted on playing 'Two Princes,' by Spin Doctors on repeat, even though that song sucks, and I seriously contemplated how a woman who was so beautiful could have such awful taste in music… But then I remembered Damon's your brother and his Spotify playlist gets a little hairy, on the late-night," he said, and they all laughed, as Matt cracked his knuckles. "You are the most free-spirited, happy, lively individual that I've ever met, and I know that we're young. And people say we have time to figure this kind of thing out—that's there no need to rush it, if you know that it's right. But I do. I know, that at 22 years old, I'm ready," he said and Sarah watched on as he pulled the ring box out of his pocket—the entire restaurant was now watching, when Matt opened it slowly. The white gold, marquise-shaped, 3 carat diamond glittered so brightly, they were sure the people up on the balconies could see it; Damon was also sure Matt had spent all of his bonus—_and then some_—on it. "Sarah Gladys Salvatore—will you make me the happiest man on this planet, and do me the _honor _of being my wife?" he asked, and Sarah nodded gleefully, without hesitation, and dropped her hand away from her mouth long enough to say "hell _yes,_ I'll marry you," as Matt laughed and slipped the ring on her finger before standing up and taking both of her hands into his.

"Good, because it would've been awkward when the music started, then," he said and she raised a brow but instantly started laughing as the restaurant overheard began to play Two Princes from the speakers and she immediately threw both of her arms around his shoulders and kissed him happily as the patrons cheered, whistled, and howled on.

The 90s song continued to play loudly as both Sarah and Matt began to sing and dance along.

And he probably should have known it sooner but that was the moment that solidified it for Damon that this knucklehead was _perfect _for his sister. Because only Matt Donovan would have the guts to ask a Michelin rated restaurant in Florence, Italy, to play this cheesy-ass pop song that made Damon want to blow his brains out, just because Sarah loved it—_she was the only person who did, he was sure—_as she belted out the lyrics proudly, while dancing in Matt's arms and flailing with excitement over her ring.

Damon leaned in and gave Bonnie a heartwarming kiss, as both of his hands landed against her cheeks, and he inhaled her deeply; breathing in the taste of Tuscan wine on her lips and on her tongue, before he pulled away slowly and met her eyes. She was teary, and he immediately placed his thumbs to the corner of her lashes to stop flow from ruining her makeup, because he knew she wasn't wearing waterproof mascara.

_Honestly? Who the hell had this trip even turned him into?_

"Thank you," she sniffled, before shaking her head with a smile. "I'm just… weird today."

"I've noticed—and I haven't wanted to be pushy but…you sure you're fine?" he asked, and she nodded quickly, as she fixed his tie and his hand smoothed back her long-spiraled curls. "You'd tell me if something was wrong, right?"

"Of course," _just not this, _her mind reminded her, and she was thankfully saved by a screech when Sarah spun around on her heel and faced them with a huge grin, as she remained in Matt's arms, and pointed at Damon, Bonnie, and Stefan with a devious stare as they followed her eyes.

"We're going out to celebrate. Mom and Dad are going home because—_Old AF—_but we're going drinking. And I am getting _sloshed,_" she said firmly, and Stefan smiled as he looked to Damon and Bonnie simply.

"Anything you want. Right guys?"

Damon looked entertained, as he turned to face Bonnie and whispered onto her ear.

"What do you say? Just a few hours, to appease her?"

Bonnie instantly nodded with a smile and looked into his eyes.

"Yeah, just a few hours."

But she already knew how that would go down.

_So much for getting tucked in by 12._

**A/N: Another fast update, because I'm a messy bitch who lives for drama, lolol. Hey everyone! I hope you guys enjoyed the latest and as always, thank you for putting up with my shenanigans because—phew—there were a lot this chapter. I hope it took you on a wave of emotions as we discovered just what Elena and Enzo are up to, how bad Giuseppe's diagnosis is, how Nora's been holding it down for our girl back home, how Bonnie's now a ticking time-bomb ready to blow, and surprise! Pepe got Stefan to make it to Italy, because SARAH IS ENGA-YAY-YAGEDDDDD. IDK how y'all feel about long chapters (I know I am wordy AFFFF) but I don't like to tell a story with JUST quick dialogue so I hope this was a good read! Do we think Bonnie's actually going to keep this secret? How will Stefan and Damon's first talk go? Who is excited for some partying in Italy and do we think that'll end badly? Most likely lmao. Read, review, share, whatever. Thank you for your continuous feedback. It means the world. Xoxo **


	11. Chapter 11

**Family Affair**

**A/N: Hey y'all! Please forgive me for the ridiculously long hiatus I went on. I had a number of changes with my job over the past few months because of COVID and I've been working so much that I just didn't have the chance to sit down and get my thoughts together, like I would have wanted to sooner. Thank you to everyone who reached out to see how I was doing. I appreciate you! And I hope you all appreciate the LONG chapter ahead. Things are about to get real is all I can say. Don't forget to review. I love to hear your thoughts. & as always, thanks for reading!**

"_I am going to miss you so much. You know that, right?" _

Damon smiled at that as his arms remained wrapped around Sarah in a tight hug and his sister sighed against his black shirt before pulling away and finding his eyes as she continued.

"Please make sure that you call. And write. And text. And _Skype,_" she added.

"People still Skype?"

"_You_ will. For _me_, D."

"You're right. I will."

Her hazel eyes blinked back tears and he brushed a tentative thumb across her cheek as they both drunk in the silence between them.

_This was it. _

Sarah and Matt were headed back home on the next plane out of Florence and Damon had to admit he felt a certain melancholy rush over him that morning when he awoke from his drunken stupor to realize that his sister—_his baby sister—_was finally leaving after the last few weeks that they had spent here together. And honestly? He was depressed about it because it had, without a doubt, been the absolute time of his life.

He couldn't have predicted that he'd be so upset about it but here he was, _devastated, _as he eyed the chauffeur packing the luggage in the trunk with Stefan's help, while his father, Gail, and Bonnie exchanged their goodbyes to Matt, just a few feet away, and he occupied Sarah's time and attention right here. s

He didn't think he'd feel this stabbing, hollow, feeling in the pit of his stomach when he left a peacefully sleeping Bonnie in bed, and tiredly wandered into her suite this morning. He just wanted to see her before it was officially time to say goodbye. Somehow, Sarah talked him into not only folding her laundry but also splitting a bottle of champagne that she claimed they would make mimosas with.

They never got around to grabbing the orange juice before they housed the entire thing.

The two talked and laughed a lot which eventually woke Matt up, but he didn't mind. Instead he grabbed a glass and joined in, as they reminisced about their recent memories made—especially the ones from last night at the crowded Italian nightclub, which turned out to be their wildest and _best_ time that they had, had here.

Who would have thought?

Between the music, drinks, and dancing, Damon had done a complete 180 on a night that he thought would be ruined the second his brother, Stefan, showed up at the restaurant, surprising them all for Sarah and Matt's big moment.

That turned out not to be the case. Because not only did they just _not _talk about what was brewing between them—which was a-okay with Damon—but Stefan had even somehow been _fun _for once, as he dropped the brooding act for a few hours, and made friends with some of the locals after telling them some bogus story about him being an American celebrity reality tv star; a lie that Sarah dared him to do, that they did not believe he'd _actually_ go through with.

Not only did the locals believe him, but it resulted in Stefan taking pictures with his "fans" all night, and the rest of them, who he'd introduced as his supposed "entourage," being plied with drinks all night.

You didn't have to tell Damon twice to accept a couple free shots of Jameson.

And Stefan was, strangely enough, a good sport about it, embracing his new "celebrity" status. So much so, Damon even swore he saw his brother hit the dance floor a few times with an attractive blonde who eerily resembled Caroline, but he supposed that was better than him drunkenly flirting with anybody else who couldn't be mistaken for a dead ringer of his wife.

As for Damon, it was the usual—chug a few beers, take too many shots, and drag Bonnie onto the dance floor, to which he got her to loosen up a little bit from whatever mood she had been in the whole day.

And he almost wished he had stopped himself there.

He cringed this morning when Sarah showed him her Instagram story and he was singing _Don't Stop Believing _at the top of his lungs on the top of the bar—_because he definitely forgot about that—_and the video had been viewed nearly 2000 times by her followers and then some.

It was safe to say he had _way _too much fun last night.

Flash forward to now, as Damon snapped out of his thoughts and smoothed his palms over Sarah's jet-black hair before he ruffled it at the crown. She let out a screech and slapped his hand as he offered a toothy grin and hugged her again so crushingly hard, he was sure she was starved for oxygen.

He didn't care as he held on tighter and swayed her within his embrace.

"Im happy you're going to miss me. I'd miss me too. I'm really missable," he chirped. Sarah scoffed at that with her last breath and he finally released her once more, finding her eyes again. "Maybe you can come stay at the boarding house, sometime, when you're on break from school. If you and Donovan aren't already doing the white picket fence thing, by then."

"Only if you promise Bonnie will be there, too," she said, and he swallowed hard but didn't answer as she followed his stare. "You _are _going to ask her to move in, soon, aren't you?"

Damon ticked his jaw at that and looked past Sarah and his eyes landed on his girlfriend. Her wavy brown hair, earthy green eyes, and infectious smile stirring his bones from all the way over here as she laughed at something his dad said and he turned back towards Sarah and offered a shrug.

"I haven't thought about it yet."

That was a lie. He thought about it everyday, actually, as he constantly tried to think of the right time to bring it up; to _kindly suggest _that when they get back to Mystic Falls, she break her lease to the condo, pack her things, and come to live with him in his big ass mansion that was ridiculously huge and super _lonely_ every passing second that he didn't have her there.

It was only right. How could she expect him to adjust back to the norm of life without her after they'd spent the few weeks in co-habitation, spending nearly every moment together, as if they already _were _ready to take the next step?

To Damon, this was already figured out.

But that didn't mean _Bonnie _knew that yet. And each time he wanted to ask her, he just chickened out; second guessing and convincing himself that she'd say no—_that she would say it was too soon. _Because living together was a huge step. He would know—he and Elena tried it several times, and it ultimately drove them apart, as they were trying to navigate and get used to one another's habits when tasked to deal with them 24/7.

It was when he first started to realize that he couldn't fucking stand her. Because he harped on the little things—like hating how she organized the pantry. And she hated how he loaded the dishwasher.

Living with Elena briefly clued him into just how _annoying _it could be to have someone in your space all the time, but he somehow imagined that it would be different with Bonnie. After all, when they weren't here on vacation, they spent most nights together at his place or hers anyway and things had been just fine. So why _shouldn't _they give this an honest shot once they got back?

It was ridiculously soon to be thinking about sharing utilities, making a budget, and renovating his place to make it her own too, if that was what she wanted, but he just couldn't stop himself because it was what he wanted.

He couldn't stop himself from fantasizing what it would be like to make it official. He couldn't stop dreaming about what it would be like if she _did _say yes.

And of course, Bonnie moving in with him made him think about the _other _M-word; the one he had no business uttering, considering just how quickly they'd fallen into all of this and she just got out of her engagement with Enzo, but he knew what he wanted—whether it happened tomorrow or happened ten years from now.

He wanted to be with her, _forever. _And watching Matt propose to his sister last night did little to quell his sudden marriage fever.

If anything, he only wanted it more. Even though he couldn't admit that yet without looking like a fucking psycho. He just hoped he'd be able to control himself when it came to all of this.

"We're taking it one day at a time. When it happens, it'll happen," he said carefully, and Sarah's eyes widened but her lips curled into a smile at that—especially when she watched his cheeks flush and he blinked a few too many times. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because I know you. And I know the whole _playing it cool _thing, when you are actually bursting at the seams is driving you _insane._ And that's okay. Because she's worth it. She's worth the wait, D. I promise… So, give her time. Okay?"

Damon smiled at that and she smirked in response but didn't say anything else about it as Bonnie walked over with a frown and her arms outstretched towards her for a hug that Sarah happily reciprocated when she met her embrace.

"Are you sure you can't just defer this semester so we can travel the world for another six months?" Bonnie asked jokingly. "You're like the sister I never had; that I always wanted. I will miss you _so_ much."

Damon watched on as his girlfriend hugged his sister tightly. Sarah chuckled warmly as both girls fanned away their tears before hugging again while they talked, and he slid both hands into his own pockets as he quietly watched on.

The next few minutes were a blur.

And then just like that, Sarah and Matt were gone, as they bid everyone their final farewells and the black town car peeled out of the driveway in moments flat. Damon felt gentle content spread within his bones as he watched them leave; his hand in Bonnie's, as her thumb rubbed his knuckles and gently and she kissed his cheek before she ushered him inside and back up the stairs to their suite, while his father, Gail, and Stefan remained in the kitchen chatting lightly about everything and nothing at all.

Just because he didn't want to rip Stefan's head off currently didn't mean that they were best friends again. He was still shelving that conversation they would inevitably have to have until later.

Damon walked into their room and watched as Bonnie shut the door behind her. He stood motionless for a moment, just observing her as she slipped off her shoes and gathered her black waves into a bun with a sigh and turned to face him with an exasperated look on her face.

Truth be told, she was fucking exhausted. Not just because of the partying from last night, but the weight of carrying Giuseppe's secret. And with each passing second, she hoped his father was getting closer to coming clean and telling Damon the truth because she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold onto this.

The past 48 hours had been unbearable for her. She hoped Stefan's being here meant that his father was ready to have the conversation that both his sons deserved to hear from his mouth.

"So, what's the plan for today?" she asked with a soft tone, trying to push that out of her mind.

Damon didn't offer a verbal response to that as he met her eyes. The room was incredibly still and silent.

Without a word, he stepped in and immediately planted his hands to her face, along with his mouth to her own and kissed her; long and hard, fervently and hungrily, as Bonnie stood completely still, caught off guard by it for a second while his lips formed against hers, and his hands pressed tightly against her jaw.

She eventually melted into his embrace—and into the wall—when he pushed her up against it behind her. Her hands combed through his dark hair, snaking across the back of his neck, and she felt his palms drop from her cheeks onto her ribs. He slowly crept his hands up her shirt and touched her breasts that were enclosed in her bra. He didn't waste any time pulling her shirt off then attacking his own, before lifting her into his arms and walking her over to the king-sized bed. Bonnie landed on her back with a sigh and him on top of her; their lips still attached all the while.

She breathed deeply when he finally separated their mouths; his lips instantly meeting the nape of her and trailing deep kisses along her skin while his hand was inching lower and lower until he made it to the zipper of her shorts.

She felt him slide his digits along the front of her underwear and she moaned softly at the heat that involuntarily radiated from his fingers onto her skin as he touched her; threatening to dip his digits inside.

And that was when she stopped him, as her hands blocked his and she inhaled a deep breath. Damon ticked his jaw when he stopped abruptly. He exhaled as he looked down to find her eyes, but Bonnie wasn't looking straight at him, when he eased a palm to her cheek and stroked it softly with his thumb.

They remained in heavy silence for a moment as he just watched her. He finally dropped his palm and stood to his feet to find his shirt, as Bonnie sat up but looked down, trying to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry. I just…" she started and stopped because what was her excuse this time?

_Sorry, I'm not in the mood, because this might be the last time, you're ever going to see your father alive again? Sorry that I know that, and you don't yet?_

She didn't finish her sentence and Damon was already getting redressed as he pulled his arms through his shirt and she hugged her knees quietly, watching his rapid and silent movements.

Bonnie finally stood to her feet and approached him. Her hand stopped him as he was just about to walk out the room and she watched the searing pain that was behind his glare although he hadn't mentioned it yet. He didn't have to, she realized. Because her coldness the past 48 hours was doing this to him. And he wasn't used to it.

She owed him an explanation. But Giuseppe also was entitled to telling him his secret _without _her interference.

What the hell was she supposed to do?

"Damon— "she started, and he interrupted her almost immediately with a shaky bit rigid tone.

"Should I be worried?" he asked, and she looked up at that; his thick brows knitted as she met his piercing blue eyes; swallowing hard at the bluntness and the edge in his voice.

"Excuse me?"

"Should I be worried," he repeated, as he stepped in even closer, "about this, about us?" he asked and Bonnie shook her head at that as she licked her lips and folded her arms over her chest.

"No, Damon. You shouldn't be worried about us. I'm just… not myself lately. But it's not because of you… Why would you be worried?"

"Because like you said, you're not being yourself. And something is different, Bonnie. I feel it. It _feels_ like something is _wrong_," he said, and she lifted a brow at that but didn't respond. "You're my girlfriend but you're also my best friend... I notice. I notice when things are off with you. And then I overthink. You know that. I am a _chronic over_-_thinker_. And because I overthink my mind immediately goes to this _dark insecure place _where I think you're having second thoughts about this. And about _me_— "

"I'm not having second thoughts, Damon," she stopped him, and his mouth pressed shut but she watched the relief filter into his eyes. "I'm not having second thoughts about this, or _you_," she said honestly and he listened on as it was her turn to place both hands to his jaw; her thumbs stroked his cheeks softly as she spoke. "I'm just… stressed out about things."

"Stressed? Bonnie, that was the point of this entire vacation. To _de-stress."_

"I know. And I have—trust me, you've done an amazing job making me forget about everything that's going on back home. But… I'm human, Damon. And I overthink, too. I… think about how I haven't spoken to my parents, since we left because they won't return my calls... I've been thinking about work, or lack thereof, and the fact that I still don't have a job when we go back home… And then there's… Elena," she said as he bit his lip but didn't respond. "I know what she said to you—and about me—was harsh. But I want to speak to her. I'd like to make things right. I have to. She's one of my best friends and I feel like an awful person, still, for hurting her. I don't know that she'll ever get over you and I getting together but I want her to know that I'm sorry… I still am really sorry… Even if she'll never forgive me."

Damon nodded at all of that and Bonnie swallowed hard. None of this was particularly a lie so it was okay to say it. What was happening to Giuseppe may have now been on the forefront of her mind, but so we're all of these other things. And they didn't just go away because she was spending her time in paradise with the love of her life, not dealing with her issues, face to face.

"So, what can I do? How can I help," he asked, and Bonnie sighed as his palms met her hands and stroked them softly? "There has to be something."

Bonnie was quiet at that for a second as she thought about it. Damon's eyes remained eager as her thumbs caressed his warm skin and sent his mind into a dizzying haze the longer, they just stared at one another.

He really belonged in _The Louvre _she thought internally, as her stare roamed over his perfect Grecian-like features.

"Being around your family helps. It… makes me feel like I haven't lost everything," she said, and he nodded at that as she pursed her lips for what she would say next. "So, I propose that instead of leaving for Rome tomorrow like you planned, I think we should just stay here… finish out the rest of our trip with your parents… and Stefan," she added and his brows furrowed at that before she continued on. "We can… come back when it's warm to do Rome. And we'll go South, and see the coast, like you wanted," she said, and Damon ticked his jaw at that shaking his head before he spoke.

"Stefan is one of the things we wanted to get away from, Bon— "

"But he's here. He came to _us. _So, why not just _talk _to him at this point and squash everything?" she asked, and he sighed as he dropped her hands. "Damon— "

"I'm fine not going to Rome, Bonnie. I'll do whatever it is that you want because _that _is how much power you have over me… I just want to make you happy… But talking to Stefan at this point—it's not what I want. I don't _want _to have a conversation with him about what he's said. What's done is done."

"Damon, he's your brother— "

"My emotionally manipulative brother. Let's not forget that part. You want me to give him another chance to do what he does best?" he asked, and she frowned. "There's absolutely nothing to say to him, Bonnie. Yeah, last night was fun—we had a good time. But that's how Stefan and I are. We know how to suck it up for Sarah's sake. We did that for _her. _Not for each other. And now that she's gone, I don't have any reason to talk to him again. Much less, waste my time listening to explanations— "

"I know it's hard—to forgive him. But what happened to keeping an open mind and heart when he came around? We talked about that, didn't we?"

"You're right; we did. And I promised you I would… I said I would give him a chance," Damon admitted as she hugged her arms over her chest, and he looked into her eyes. "But I'm breaking that promise, Bonnie. And you should understand why. You of all people should get why I'm better off without him because all he does is _hurt_ me. Why should I forgive that?"

_Because your father is dying, _she wanted to say but stopped herself.

There was a long silence as Damon suddenly looked annoyed—agitated even—as he scratched his brown hair and took a step back towards the bathroom as Bonnie moved on to close the space between them.

He folded his arms over his chest when she appeared in front of him with her hands at her side as he watched her carefully.

"You're right. Stefan hasn't done right by you. And he has a lot to apologize for," she agreed as Damon didn't say a word, quietly listening on. "And you don't owe him _anything_. You owe him _nothing _at all," Bonnie conformed as his eyes never wavered. "But you owe it to _yourself _to give him a chance to make it up to you; to make things right… because life is short, Damon—_really_ _short_. And I can't help but think about how much you would regret never making things right if he were gone, tomorrow, and you never got what you wanted to say off of your chest… If you never have him the chance to explain himself," she said and Damon looked down, without a response. "Hearing him out is something that you need to do for _you—_not for me_. _Your forgiveness is about _you_ and showing how much _you've_ changed. It shows that _you've _grown and moved on, Damon. Don't you want that? Don't you want to move on?"

Damon took in a deep breath at that before he offered a final shrug and Bonnie watched on as a somber looked roamed over his eyes before he headed towards the bathroom door.

"Maybe I'm just not that evolved, Bonnie. I don't want to forgive and forget."

And with that, he walked in and locked the bathroom door behind him.

XXXXX

"Do you happen to have any Advil? I've got a splitting headache all of a sudden."

"Do you? Should I admit you into the ER, Mr. St. John?"

Enzo rolled his eyes playfully at that as Elena smirked from the mirror—brushing her wet hair in her towel and he stood up from her bed in his boxers. He walked over to her silently and placed both hands on her shoulders. His eyes met hers in the mirror and he kissed her neck softly as she shut her eyes and her lips emitted a soft moan. When his mouth landed on her ear and spoke in a soft, silky tone, she all but tingled _everywhere _when she reopened her eyes and looked straight into his.

"I don't need to be admitted. I just need you to stop being so bloody rough with me," he whispered.

Elena bit her lip guiltily at that as she recalled getting a little bit _aggressive _when he showed up at her doorstep a few hours ago, with dinner and she pledged to find them a movie while he set things up in the living room, and uncorked a bottle of wine.

Netflix and Chill quickly evolved to make out session on the couch, third base in her hallway, and then sex in her bedroom, where she climbed on top of him and he all but let her do whatever she wanted to him. That included wrapping her hands around his throat and choking him a little bit. And she wasn't sure who liked it more—him or her.

Possibly her, since she wasn't the one who had the headache, now.

She looked into his eyes and offered a shrug.

"Maybe you should be less fragile. Advil is in the top drawer."

He grinned at that as he released her, and she pursed her lips as she shamelessly checked out his ass when he walked away before reaching for her powder and puffing it lightly against her cheeks.

She knew it was bad that she was still letting this happen—whatever _this was _with Enzo—a mere week after telling him they _shouldn't _do this anymore, because it was weird and she didn't even really _like _him all that much, though she had to admit, the more time she spent with him, that was starting to change.

She didn't like to admit that hearing that he broke things off with Sybil-What's-Her-Name actually made her _happy, _because then she'd have to confess to this not just being about sex, like she'd intended it to be the first few times she slept with him. She'd have to come to terms with the fact that she feeling a little bit invested in this—and_ him—_despite how much she didn't want to be. And that was what still pinged at her conscious the longer she allowed this to continue. Because it was fucked up, really. And if anyone found out, she was sure she'd be sent into exile forever for being the shameless, backstabbing, whore that she was—especially after calling Bonnie the same when finding out she had slept with Damon.

She had essentially done the exact same thing and now she was a hypocrite.

Enzo was still Bonnie's ex, who had only finally stopped wearing his wedding band just a few days ago. He was still Damon's ex best friend, and she was still—shamefully—in love with Damon.

But none of that mattered when he did things to her that she hadn't felt in a while; because the feeling of being _needed and wanted _was enough to make her suspend reality for a moment and just try to _enjoy this _for however long it could last. Because knowing her, this would all go up into fiery flames at some point or another because that was just her MO.

Losing a guy in ten days? She had _perfected that. _

Elena watched as he reached into the nightstand for the pill bottle and he pulled out a picture frame instead—his eyes studying it carefully and she swallowed hard as she watched him but tried to avert her eyes just the same.

"Is that you, as a little girl?" he asked and she let out a deep breath, spinning around in her seat at the vanity with a nod as he still studied the picture and lifted a brow. "And that's— "

"Damon. And his mom. Lilian Salvatore," she said, committing to memory the first picture she and Damon ever took together when she was 5 years old—it was his 6th birthday party; the first time he kissed her. They obviously didn't date until much, much later—but her parents called Damon her childhood sweetheart. But they were obviously dead wrong, because he had already belonged to someone else. "That was… a long time ago, obviously. I don't even know why I still have that."

She knew exactly why she still had it.

Because she never got over him. She wasn't sure if she ever would. Despite how many men and women had come into her life since then.

Enzo held the frame in his hand for a second more before putting it back down and grabbing the bottle of Advil next to it. A long silence filled the room—save for the sound of the pills rattling when he shook the contents—and she swallowed hard as she watched him pop two into his mouth with a sip of her glass of water, before finally searching the ground for his clothes to get dressed.

If seeing a picture of her as a child with her ex and his mother wasn't a mood killer after having the best sex of your life, she wasn't sure what was.

Elena cleared her throat as she put her powder down and rose to her feet as he zipped his jeans back up and didn't look into her eyes.

She knew the feeling. She'd felt it just a few days ago when post-sex, she asked him why he wore his wedding band if he and Bonnie never officially got married. He said it was because he was a masochist. And she didn't say anything else about it, but she noticed he stopped wearing it the very next day.

The same went for her—as far as being a masochist and all.

She knew she stood no chance at ever getting Damon back. Because it didn't matter how much she wanted or needed him. He didn't want her, and Bonnie didn't want Enzo—so the two of them were left here to pine over two other people who were perfectly happy with each other—as evidenced from all of the pictures and videos she'd seen on social media from Italy—and they both needed to realize their worth and get the fuck over it.

But that was easier said than done, Elena realized. Especially when she was still holding onto reminders and mementos from the past. Because she one day hoped the past could somehow be reality again—though she knew she stood no chance against Bonnie Bennett when it came to Damon's affections. She never did; not even when she spent nearly a decade of her life _with him_; not even when she'd been the one, he shared his first kiss with. It didn't matter at all that her first time was in the back of his baby blue Camaro—the same one she watched him shamelessly groping Bonnie up against—because why would it? Damon may have lost his virginity to her too, but she knew that she wouldn't have been his first choice if Bonnie even knew how he felt back then.

And that made her feel pathetic. Because she'd placed so much of an emphasis on these milestone moments, they'd shared together all while he had been hoping to have them with somebody else. Her best friend. _The love of his life. _

Why couldn't she just get over it if he hadn't even been _invested _in it while it was happening?

She snapped out of her thoughts to find Enzo was almost completely dressed and looking at his watch as she neared him carefully, holding her towel in place.

She couldn't change the past. But maybe she could still save the present.

"I should get going. I have a meeting with Marcel—to go over some blueprints for my building— "

"Enzo, _wait_," she said, and he stopped in his tracks as his big brown eyes met hers and she bit her lip softly before exhaling a deep sigh.

Her fingers met his arm. She watched as his goosebumps prickled along his skin, but he didn't say a word.

"It's hard for me, to let go of the past," she admitted, and he followed her eyes, as they dripped with sincerity. "But I… will try to. If you try," she said optimistically—her manicured nails still grazing along his forearm. "Damon means a lot to me, and Bonnie, a lot to you. But they're gone now and… we have each other. And… I'm having fun. Aren't you?"

Enzo didn't respond to that and she swallowed hard as her hands met his face and drew him in closer; their noses touching as she shut her eyes. She felt the tiny expels of breath from his lips on hers and a second later, she placed them to his. Her mouth formed against his softly—as gently as she could—as she gave him a sweet kiss and pulled back to meet his eyes.

Enzo was still completely silent, and she offered a nervous smile as her thumb grazed his lips methodically. He didn't say a word so she decided she should just bite the bullet and finally explain what it was that she really felt. It's not like she could get anymore hurt than she already had been, anyway.

"I like you," she said, and his brows knitted at that as she felt her heartbeat skip a beat when his eyes realized the revelation, but she didn't back down. "I know that I shouldn't because this is… weird. And it didn't start out with the best intentions—at least not for me, anyway. But… I like you… I can't help it. And I would like to keep seeing you if you want to keep seeing me. The ball is completely in your court."

He didn't offer a response to that either and her heart nearly sunk when a minute—which felt like an _hour—_passed and he just stared her; and she couldn't tell what his reaction was, which made her feel even more self-conscious in her own skin the longer she stood there nearly naked in front him.

Maybe she _had _actually succeeded in losing a guy in ten days.

Elena pursed her lips with a knowing nod and turned away before her disappointment could mar her face and he could see it.

"Okay then," she muttered and her mind responded to her immediately, as she heard the answer to her statement in her head as she ticked her jaw.

_Of course, it isn't. Because he loves Bonnie. Why wouldn't he? You kind of love her a little bit, too. _

She cringed at that. Especially at the last part.

Before she could walk away however, she felt his hand land on hers and turn her back around to face him. Her eyes widened with surprise when she felt his fingers interlock with her own and without another word, he drew her in immediately and placed a firm kiss to her lips. And it was smoldering—it was intense.

_It reminded her all too well of what it felt like to _really _be kissed, because she hadn't been, in a long while. And something about that lit the very fuse she was trying not to light all along with him, as his hands gripped tightly at her waist and all but ripped her towel off of her before pushing her down onto her back on her bed. _

Her breath hitched when she watched him take off his shirt again before he kissed her.

His back muscles clenched, and she dragged her nails along each part of his Herculean skin before he pulled away from her puffy pink lips and looked into her eyes.

"This isn't going to work, Elena," he said and she nodded at that as she pulled him in again and his tongue danced against hers; his knee parted both of her legs as his hand slid between her thighs—she swelled all the while. "There are so many reasons why, love."

"I know. And I-I don't care," she said, reaching up and kissing him again, before looking into his hypnotic obsidian eyes. "Do you care?"

"I do. But I don't want to."

_Good enough,_ she decided.

And with that, he landed on his back as she rolled him beneath her, smoothing her hands down his chest for a second. Her hands then busily undid the belt around his waist and unzipped his jeans before sliding them down with ease; her lips connected with his torso, he shut his eyes, and he fell against the pillows as he felt her going to work on him. His hand gently landed on the back of her head and he emitted a deep sigh when he felt her take him into his mouth.

And the distraction worked, for a moment, when he hardened in the back of her throat and tried to forget just what had left him speechless a few minutes ago; because it wasn't her confession, like she thought, though that could've been a good guess because really—she was an idiot falling for a guy like him. And he was even dumber for entertaining it when he knew this was just a means to an end and he and Elena would only ever be fuck buddies and nothing more.

He couldn't actually date her. She was insecure. And unstable—the exact opposite of everything Bonnie Bennett had been. And while he liked _sleeping_ with her, actually _liking her _romantically was something else entirely. And he just didn't see that for himself.

But that didn't mean that he hated the attention she gave him or how well they got along even when they weren't having sex.

A part of him _did _like her too—just maybe not in the way that she wanted. And he'd figure out a way to tell her that eventually, when he wasn't balls deep inside of her, or getting her off with his hands or mouth between her legs.

He watched as her slick brown hair moved while her head bobbed up and down and he gripped onto the back of her locks. He bit down onto his own lip tightly, trying to focus on how good this felt because if he didn't, he was going to think about the things that he now knew, since going into her nightstand and seeing that photograph.

Because that picture—the woman in it—he had seen her somewhere before. And he knew exactly where, though he was trying desperately right now to convince himself that, that wasn't the case—that his mind was playing tricks on him—and he didn't know Lilian Salvatore from a hole in the wall because how could he? The woman was dead, and he knew nothing about her. She was Damon's mother that he hadn't seen a picture of until now, because his former best friend didn't seem to have any pictures of her up in his mansion—he called them painful reminders and decided to rely on his memory instead. And Enzo respected that and never asked.

But now, he realized he should have. Because was it just his mind begging for it to mean something more when he felt the pang in his chest when he saw her photo—and her eyes staring back at him—before he placed it back into its rightful and closed the drawer? Or had he finally discovered the truth? The truth he had gone so long without; that he'd been comfortable not knowing, because at this point there was no way to ever _truly _know, right?

And this just couldn't be.

She couldn't be the woman who he saw a photo of in his late father's journals, when his family that he found through one of those ancestry websites—thanks to Bonnie—reconnected with him and confirmed that he _was_ His son, but they had never met his mother. They didn't even know her name; but they knew that his father loved her.

And she had broken his heart.

His father, Markos El Khoury, had met a woman back when he was in the service, stationed in Lebanon, and she'd had his child when she left to London; he only found out about it in letters much later that she almost never sent, but did before she disappeared and he never heard from her ever again, Markos retold.

He went to London to try to find her but to his devastation she was gone. And her letters confirmed she had given their boy away because she wasn't ready to be a mother; but she named him Lorenzo, after his middle name. And the family who took him, the St. John's, seemed lovely, according to Lily. She reassured Markos their son would be in good hands.

Only he wasn't, Enzo recalled, as he remembered his abusive foster parents who only kept him around for the money. Then discarded him, quickly, when they didn't need him around anymore and found a new shiny plaything.

And apparently, his father _did _reach out to them through the agency, but they never allowed him to meet his son because they ignored every attempt he made to track Enzo down. And then, Markos died years later, himself.

He never knew who his father was until meeting his family and he'd never heard from the mysterious woman who gave him away just after birth. And now, Enzo believed he had known why; he just didn't want it to be true.

Elena came back up for air with a smile and he smiled at her as well, though his heart was racing, and his knuckles were a ghostly white when he gripped her by the thighs and pushed her underneath him.

He reached into the drawer to grab a condom. His fingers knowingly brushed against the photo again and he bit back the urge to throw it against the wall, watching it shatter into a million pieces.

It was what he wanted. But then again, when had this life ever given him anything that he wanted?

Because now, he was sure it had given him two brothers—one of which was dating his ex-fiancé. And he was fucking his ex-girlfriend.

What were the chances of that?

XXXXX

"_Did you think we'd ever see the day, when we finally got them out of the house?"_

Bonnie smiled at that as Gail walked into living room with two glasses and a bottle of red wine when she joined her on the couch. Damon, Giuseppe, and Stefan had left 30 minutes ago to have dinner at _Borgo San Jacopo— _a beautiful, Michelin starred restaurant _—_with views of the _Ponte Vecchio_.

It had been a few days since her talk with Damon and though she knew he had no intentions of speaking to his brother—and he still hadn't, while Stefan was here—it appeared Giuseppe had other plans and to be honest, she was happy about that.

She hoped some good food and a terrace view would be enough to help the Salvatore men hash things out _peacefully, _while she opted out of attending and stayed home with Gail, to have some homemade pizza and wine.

Bonnie's stomach grumbled lightly as she watched Gail cut into the pie in front of them and she thanked her graciously when she passed a plate, then a glass of red to cheers before she settled back into her seat and took a bite.

She wiped the corner of her mouth with her napkin as Gail watched her with a smile.

"Giuseppe's recipe. I'll let him know you're a fan," the woman said, and Bonnie laughed at that as she reached for her glass and took a sip.

"It's amazing. Thanks again for cooking. You didn't have to do all of this," she said, and Gail smiled in response before she shrugged her shoulders.

"Of course, I did. I… know that _you know_ what's going on with Giuseppe, Bonnie and I… wanted to thank you, for not speaking to Damon about it before he had the chance. I know that he wants to say it in his own words. Thank you for giving him that opportunity to do that tonight."

Bonnie sighed at that and nodded as she followed Gail's gaze; her deep brown eyes as calm as her voice as she held her glass of wine loosely before raising it to her lips.

Gail Salvatore—_formally Gail Jones—_married Giuseppe many years ago after meeting him for the first time at the supermarket in the deli department.

Giuseppe was trying to do the single father thing, _without _hiring a nanny or a maid for Stefan and Damon, but he didn't even know the first thing about making a proper grocery list and what he should even buy—he had always relied on Lily for that. The three had been surviving on fast food, restaurant takeout, and quick meals because he was so busy with work and not much of a cook. But he wanted to make an honest effort to be _better _because he knew it's what Lily would have wanted.

And he knew a _real dad _was what his boys wanted, as well.

Gail approached him with a soothing smile and asked him if he needed help, as the man in the $5000 suit looked completely baffled when the deli worker asked him if he wanted Kretschmar or Boars Head, because really; what the fuck was the difference? Would Stefan or Damon care anyway?

Giuseppe had been all but ready to just leave his cart where it was and buy the boys pre-made sandwiches before Gail came to the rescue and successfully ordered his cold cuts from the counter with such ease and grace, it warmed his bones at the stranger's kindness.

She didn't know him, but she wanted to help. And it reminded him that no matter how fucked up this world could be, there were still good people in it; and apparently, they hung out at the local supermarket.

They talked for a while after that while browsing the aisles—he explained he was new at this, and he had just left work—hence the suit—and he admitted that he had never really done any of the shopping when his wife was around. Gail was understanding of that and didn't judge him for not knowing; she thought it showed much more of his character that he was at least trying, and she couldn't knock him for that.

It didn't hurt that he was strikingly handsome, as well.

Flash forward to twenty plus years later, and the two were still together and just as crazy about each other as they had been when he asked her to marry him, just a few months after they'd begun dating. To Giuseppe, life was too short not to go after what you wanted. Life was loving, tough, harsh, and kind—but it was unforgiving if you wasted your time not telling the people that you cared about that you loved them, _when you felt it. _

His marriage to Gail may have been a quick one, but it proved to be unwavering, because they were still here, many years later, and they were happy; as happy as Bonnie hoped she could still be one day.

_As happy as she hoped she would be with Damon. _

She snapped out of her thoughts and nodded softly when she looked into the woman's eyes.

"I… can't imagine how hard this must be for you," Bonnie said as she tugged at her lip and shook her head. "How… how do you reconcile with the fact that the love of your life just… won't be here anymore, one day?" she asked honestly and Gail shifted at that and Bonnie immediately felt disdain building in the pit of her stomach for even asking such a bold question. "I'm sorry. That was forward— "

"Straight to the point—that's what I've always liked about you, you know," she said with a grin and Bonnie chuckled nervously as the woman tucked her shoulder length locs back behind her ears. "The truth is Bonnie… there isn't just one answer to that. Grief is complicated," she said, and Bonnie nodded in understanding before Gail continued. "But the one thing I've always promised myself I would do is give people their flowers while they can still smell them… I remind Giuseppe, _and myself_, how, why, and when I fell in love with him, every single day… because not only does it reassure him that he will have my heart _forever _but… it reminds me that I was lucky enough to experience a love that strong; to find a love _that big,_" she said with a comforting smile and Bonnie felt her eyes tear up at that.

One rolled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away with a laugh as Gail's face remained peaceful all the while.

"That's a good answer," Bonnie said, and Gail smiled warmly at that as Bonnie took a deep breath in. "I guess I never thought about it that way."

There was a peaceful silence between them for a moment as she took a sip of her wine and Gail folded her hands; her eyes remaining on Bonnie before she opened her mouth to speak again when her fingers wrapped around her drink.

"_When did it start? Between you and Damon?"_

Bonnie looked up from the glass in her hand at that and Gail's eyes never dropped as Bonnie shifted on the couch, tucking her feet beneath her body.

"I… I don't know. The night of my bachelorette party, I guess," she said feeling slightly ashamed as Gail's eyes studied her. We… were drunk. Really, _really_ drunk," she said recalling the night of the tryst before her wedding. "l'm not sure as his_ step-mother_ they you want to hear the about that," she said and Gail playfully sneered at that, before taking another sip.

"Yeah, let's leave that one to the imagination," she said with a smirk and Bonnie blushed but smiled in response. "But I didn't mean that night Bonnie, I meant… for you. When did it _actually _start?" she asked, and she furrowed her brows as she looked into his eyes. "Oh. Don't give me that look. Everyone _knows _the exact moment they fall for someone… You don't know when you fell for Damon? I imagine it'd be pretty hard to forget. He has an… unforgettable personality, to put it lightly."

Very, very lightly.

Bonnie swallowed another sip and shook her head before she replied.

"No, Gail, I-I don't actually. It just sort of _happened—_ "

"I think that's a lie," she said bluntly, and Bonnie ticked her jaw. "I think… I think you've always known when you felt something—even if it was something small—for him but you just… weren't ready to admit it," she said and there was a long silence between them at that, as Bonnie inhaled the air and exhaled it just as deeply. "But you know the truth. You… _have_ to know that the night before the wedding wasn't when this all started, right?" Gail asked pointedly and Bonnie stared at her but didn't respond. "So, let's hear it, Bonnie; what was the _a-ha _moment? I'm a retired therapist. You know I won't stop prying," Gail warned, and Bonnie pressed her lips together tightly before biting the bottom one and putting her glass down.

"I… maintain that I don't know when I fell in love with him, but…" she twisted at her shirt nervously and Gail perked up as Bonnie blinked her olive eyes rapidly and looked down before continuing, "I…know when I first felt the draw to him, if that counts," she said and Gail nodded as Bonnie looked up nervously.

"Of course, it does. We all start somewhere, right?... When was that?"

Bonnie laughed humorlessly, took another sip of wine and sighed.

"I… was young. 18 years old. I… was attracted to him when we were in college. At Whitmore. It was the first time I just… understood what the hype was all about, I guess," she admitted, and Gail smiled as Bonnie continued, chewing her bottom lip. "In Freshman Year… I liked him, in Freshman Year."

Gail looked absolutely intrigued at that and Bonnie threw her hands up with a shrug before hugging herself around her body.

"Freshman Year?"

"Uh huh. That's my story. Thanks for attending my TED Talk."

"Surely there's more to the story," Gail urged, and Bonnie stiffened. "And you don't have to tell me if you don't want to… but I think you want to… I think you've been itching to tell _someone_, haven't you?"

Bonnie didn't respond to that because it was fucking true.

She had feelings for Damon when she was 18 years old before they bubbled up again at 29.

Fleeting, non-committal, transient feelings, but _feelings _nonetheless that gathered on the pit of her stomach when he casually stripped down to his boxers in front of her to change, or when he reached in to wipe the corner of her mouth after she made a mess eating and licked his thumb, before allowing her to finish up what she was saying.

She had a crush, to put it simply. A stupid, silly, infatuation with Damon that she didn't ever plan on pursuing because he was _Damon_, after all. But that didn't make it any less real when she found herself looking for him across crowded rooms, or how she'd found herself getting unexplainably irritable anytime he had plans with Elena or some other girl he was seeing that didn't include her because _how dare he _have a life that _didn't _revolve around their friendship and Bonnie Bennett?

Bonnie cleared her throat as Gail waited for the rest of the story and she figured she had nothing left to lose at this point if she finally came clean.

Well, except for her dignity if Damon ever found out because he might not ever let her live this down.

But maybe that was a good thing. Maybe she should give Damon his flowers, too, while he was around to still smell them.

"I… felt a _thing _for him, briefly, because he… _When he_ protected me; when he… saved my life," she said and Gail immediately knew what she was referring to as she moved in and placed a comforting hand on her own and rubbed it softly as she blinked hard.

"Damon told us about that," she said as she remained silent, absorbing her words. "I'm so sorry, Bonnie. I hate that, that happened to you. And now knowing how you felt about Damon… I'm sure things were really confusing," she said, and she nodded biting her cherry red lip before she spoke.

"Thank you. It… was _really _confusing. It wasn't even _that_ night—_I barely remember that night, thankfully_—but it was a week later, at the dorms. When he came over to check in on me after I called him. He dropped everything to stop by and that meant so much to me. _He _means so much to me; he always has," she said with a nod before looking deeply into Gail's glittering eyes. "But it was in that moment that I knew that he… he meant something _more _to me, I just wasn't sure what. And I guess it took me all of these years to figure that out."

Gail remained silent at that as Bonnie tried to find the words to say; the words she'd never said out loud to anyone. Not until now.

She shut her eyes for a moment as she recalled that very night.

_She laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling as she gripped her comforters tight. She was thinking about everything—and nothing—as her eyes searched for imperfections in the paint but she'd found none, although she was searching for what felt like hours. _

_She was only awakened out of her thoughts when she heard the door to her dorm bedroom shut and she sat up straight in her bed staring at the entrance that led out to the darkened hallway. _

_That was when he came into view. _

_He was dressed in a familiar black v neck t-shirt that was paired with soft gray sweatpants, as he slowly wandered into her room, messy haired but wearing a comforting smile that immediately put her at ease the moment she absorbed it. _

_She didn't say a word as Damon shut the door behind him and Bonnie swallowed hard as she followed his bluer-than-blue eyes. _

"_Hey," he said gently. _

"_Hi," she said as he still stood there quietly; her normally bright eyes full of a mix of emotions as he studied her for a moment before she looked down at her feet. "Thanks for coming."_

"_Of course," he said in a light tone. "It's not like the traffic was bad," he joked, and she smiled softly as he pursed his lips. "Do you… want to talk?"_

_Bonnie cleared her throat at that as she offered a weak smile and a nod when she gestured for him to sit on her bed and her heartbeat involuntarily spiked in her chest. _

_She called him because she knew he couldn't control himself when it came to being her knight in shining armor—that's why he was even here, after all. She couldn't act confused about the fact that Damon would drop anything—or _anyone_—that he was doing, at anytime, for her. That's just how their friendship had always been. And because of it, she had become so comfortable calling him with any and every need or problem that she had. _

_Even now, at 3 o'clock in the morning, because he was the one who made all of the bad things go away, for her. _

_So, when she found herself sleepless in bed on a Saturday night, he was the first person she called, because it'd been hours of this anxiety and restlessness and she just wanted it to stop. She thought about calling Caroline, but she knew that she was visiting her Mom that weekend, and she didn't want to worry her into coming back to Whitmore from Mystic Falls._

_And Elena? Well she was here—they were roommates technically—but the girl had been spending the night at _Damon's _dorm actually, which made it even weirder that Bonnie decided to call him and _not _her instead. _

_She knew it was "date night" for them. But she also knew date night meant movies and an edible or two, which meant Elena was sound asleep, hence why Damon was able to get here so quickly, without any questions asked. _

_When he answered her call, Bonnie almost audibly exhaled a sigh of relief. There was something about the sound of his calm, slightly smoky, velvety voice over the phone that immediately offered her relief, though she knew nothing was better than having the real thing, in person. _

_And that was what brought him here. Because he didn't say no to Bonnie. And there was a part of her that liked that. _

_There was a part of her that _loved _that she was the _only_ person he didn't say no to. _

_She stirred out of her thoughts when he kicked off his slippers, grabbed her favorite teddy bear, Miss Cuddles, off of her dresser, and sat down at the footboard while she pulled her blankets over her flimsy camisole and covered her pajama shorts. _

_She felt his eyes on her as she loosened her hair out of her messy bun and her curls fell over her shoulders. She attempted to rearrange it into a tight ponytail and Damon's eyes never dropped all the while, as he mindlessly bounced the teddy bear on his lap. _

_She gave up on the pony when her scrunchie didn't cooperate and he watched the frustration multiply in her stare when she tossed it on the night table and left her hair flowing at her shoulders, before brushing it back with her fingers. _

_His gaze only seemed to be broken once she finally spoke. _

"_I guess I'm just still shaken up," she admitted slowly, as she bit her lip and he remained silent. "I don't… remember anything that happened _thatnight_ other than the beginning of it… Meeting Ben and hanging out for a bit, and then I just… lose track of time all over again, and it has me all fucked up in the head, Damon. You're… _positive_ that nothing happened with him, right?" she asked, and he sighed with a nod meeting her eyes. _

"_I'm sure. He… slipped whatever he did into your drink, and probably didn't think it'd kick in so quickly. You went to the bathroom, I heard him talking shit, and I came for you. He never saw you again after that," Damon reassured and she nodded, tucking a strand behind her ear. "You trust that I'm telling you the truth, right, Bon?"_

"_I do. I know," she said immediately, as her fingers fidgeted, and he watched. "I'm just… I'm absolutely terrified that I can't remember anything and I feel scared; scared about what could've happened… about could still happen to me one day, if I'm not more careful," Bonnie confessed in a soft but hollow voice. _

_Damon placed the bear down on the bed and swallowed hard at that, but his voice remained even all the while. _

"_First off, that's… completely valid, Bonnie. You got drugged by some rapey scumbag and then you passed out in a frat house bathroom… You're not overreacting. It's scary shit. You're allowed to feel the way that you feel, but… don't think for one second that it's on _you _to prevent this; don't blame yourself or talk yourself into thinking that _you're _the one who needs to be careful, when really—men who do this, _anyone who does is, _is the problem. Not you. You didn't do anything wrong. How could you have known he'd do that?"_

_Bonnie nodded at that as she inhaled a deep breath and bit her trembling lip. _

"_I guess I just… keep thinking about what _would've_ happened if you… weren't there. I…would've been just another college cautionary tale about getting too drunk and ending up in a bad situation with a guy I didn't know… because no one ever has sympathy for the victim. It's always about what _we_ did wrong; how _we_ could've avoided it. And I somehow did," she said as he watched her eyes. "And it was because of you… You were there for me, Damon. Again. You always are and you… you _saved_ me. Thank you. Thank you, Damon."_

_Damon nodded at that as a long silence passed between them. _

"_You don't have to thank me," he finally said. "It's what any decent guy would do. It's what _every guy _should do— "_

"_But you're not every guy," she said, and Bonnie shifted on the bed. She quietly took his hand into hers and held onto it; she felt a sudden warmth against her palms, but she remained focused, as she followed his blue eyes. "You're my best friend. And you… don't know how grateful I am to have you in my life. I always have been but this past week—I am especially grateful… And I guess I just wanted you to know."_

_Damon remained silent and immediately she feared she'd said too much. Also, why was she touching him?_

_Damon might have been her knight in shining armor, but he was still somebody else's boyfriend, as she remembered the fact that Elena was literally back at his dorm room, sleeping in his bed while he was here, because she was afraid the boogie man would come to get her. He should have been with his girlfriend, who he'd just finally been getting along with, instead of tending to her every beck and call because she was needy. _

_And suddenly she felt really stupid. _

_Because something clicked, as she looked into his eyes and she realized her heart was positively going to leap out of her chest if she didn't look away for just a _second _as he watched her curiously and silently, while she battled with the existential crisis that was happening in real time, all in her head. _

_The worst part was that she could probably die right here from embarrassment, and he'd probably still find a way to apologize _her_. That was how much power Bonnie Bennett had over him, despite how _powerless _she was made to feel just a week ago. _

_She replayed Damon's version of the scene over and over again in her head, despite the fact that she didn't want to; she did it anyway. She'd forced him to tell her everything that happened and she watched as he saw red every time he spoke about it; when he recalled Ben's voice echoed in his brain, as he overheard the smug asshole bragging about the freshman that he was going to fuck that night the second the roofie kicked in and he got her alone. _

_Damon heard him actually _laughing_ about it as he gushed over how hot she was— as he outlined each and every disgusting thing that he'd do to her because she seemed so _pure_ and that was what attracted him to her the second he walked into the frat house and bumped into her by the kegs, as she was pouring herself a drink. _

_Damon listened as his equally disturbed and disgusting friends hyped him up and justified it; reasoning that it was okay because she '_definitely_ wanted it anyway' and 'this is what she should expect' being a freshman and having the _audacity_ to go to a college party with a bunch of upper classmen; especially at a frat house during Homecoming Weekend. _

_She should've been _honored _that he chose her of all the hot girls there, because she could've been anyone—but being picked by him made her _special_. She'd be grateful after it happened that he helped her to 'let loose.' She might even want to do it again when she regained her consciousness and senses, Ben argued and his friends laughed at that just seconds before Damon's fist met his face and sent him to the Emergency Room with a bloody, broken nose. _

_He regrettably explained all of this to Bonnie the following day when she woke up with a blistering headache, no recollection, and Damon sprawled out on her couch, as she desperately tried to piece together what the fuck happened the night before, though she admitted it was all just a blur after a certain point. _

_She remembered Ben, but she didn't remember much else after meeting him and he watched as her eyes filled with devastation when he explained why she couldn't recall anything, and a chill ran down her spine. _

_And despite how many times she told him it wasn't his fault, Damon felt personally responsible for what happened. Damon told her he hated the fact that something so horrible was even an option, because he hadn't watched this Ben guy closely enough when he started courting Bonnie or seen when he slipped something into her drink. He was too busy flirting with a sorority sister who was _not _Elena. And though he knew it wasn't on him he still felt responsible for her because she was his best friend and he was supposed to look out for her. _

_And she knew that was why he was here, again, as he always was and always would be whenever she needed him, because he loved her so fucking much; just as much as she loved him. At this point she was fairly sure Damon would kill for her, if he had to. And he came pretty damn close when he found out what Ben did. He was just lucky Damon cared more about finding _her_ than he did about going to jail. _

"_I'll always be here, no matter what. I'm wherever you need me to be, at any time. I promise you that, Bonnie," he said, and she let out a sigh as her thoughts were confirmed with another reassuring phrase spilling from his lips. _

_Another promise filling his eyes and falling from his tongue. _

_Bonnie shook her head at that as she looked down at her hand that still was touching his, somehow. She acknowledged it but didn't remove it, she mentally noted. _

"_I don't know how to repay you."_

"_You owe me nothing, okay?" he said as his thumb captured her chin and Bonnie looked into his eyes. "We're friends. You're my best friend and I'm never going to stop looking out for you."_

"_No matter what?" _

"_No matter what," he confirmed, and she smiled at that. _

_His hand dropped and there was a long silence between them before she finally reached in and gave him a long hug, much to his surprise, she could tell, as his breath hitched and he exhaled onto her shoulder as she held him tightly. _

_There wasn't a word between them but she felt the definite electricity coursing through her bones as she sighed with relief against his chest and she shut her eyes; inhaling the faint smell of his cologne on his skin as they remained in the embrace for the next few minutes. She felt it as he mindlessly dragged his fingertips along her loose waves and she instantly got lost in his touch when they grazed against her scalp in such a soothing way, her body immediately turned to jelly the second that it happened. _

_What the hell was she doing?_

_She let out an involuntary shudder as she allowed Elena's face to flash in her mind before she finally pulled away from the hug. She tucked her thick brown hair behind her ears as he watched. His gaze remained steady all the while. _

_She looked deeply into his crystal-like eyes, in return. _

"_You have to get going, don't you?" she asked simply, and Damon ticked his jaw. _

_Yes, he should. _

_His girlfriend and her roommate/best friend was waiting for him just down the hall. And he surely didn't have any business climbing into another woman's bed, no matter what was happening, how close they were, or how far they went back when he was in a relationship. _

_An on-and-off, ridiculously unstable one. But a relationship, nonetheless. _

_He shouldn't be here with her, his _best friend. _And she shouldn't be enabling this— this unfamiliar, uninvited, but strangely exhilarating pang that she felt whenever he touched her lately. Because it was something she had admittedly ignored as best as she could before this tonight. _

_But she wondered, just how long could she keep doing this?_

_Because she knew exactly what it was. She just couldn't give it a name. Because if she gave it a name, she gave it life. And if she gave it life, she'd have to destroy it. And she wasn't sure if she was ready to do so, just yet. But that didn't mean that she wanted to live with it, either. _

_Damon cleared his throat and shook his head no, as Bonnie's brows furrowed, and he was already easing down onto her pillow as she watched him._

_Miss Cuddles was between them. _

"_But Elena— "_

"_Will be fine. She ate an edible. And two pot brownies. We'll be lucky if she wakes up before next week," he said and Bonnie sighed at that but didn't argue as she finally eased down onto her bed as well and felt her skin on fire as he stared at her unashamedly while she looked away purposely. _

_After a few minutes she couldn't fight it anymore. _

_She willed herself to stare straight back at him, and he was still looking at her, just as he had been before, with an unreadable expression on his face, before he finally spoke, disrupting the silence. _

"_I'll look after you. Tonight, tomorrow, and all the days, weeks, and months that follow after that if I have to, Bonnie… I promise you—it will never happen again. This will _never _happen to you, ever again."_

_Bonnie looked at him for a long moment at that. She didn't say anything—she didn't need to. She believed him, and had she been asked to bet her entire life savings on it, she'd put every penny on the line to say that he meant that. _

_He meant every word. And she found that undoubtedly… _romantic. _Even if that's not how he meant it. Even if that's not how _she _should have interpreted it. _

_She had no idea if Damon felt this uncomfortable, pinging, reoccurring _thing _that she felt in her chest. And she would never ask. Because he belonged to her best friend; he was in love with Elena Gilbert and had been desperately so, since they were young. _

_He and Elena made the perfectly imperfect couple. He was a party boy. She was a homebody. He brought her out of her shell. She made him more reserved. They broke up and made up as many times as Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, but Bonnie was convinced that's just what a real relationship was sometimes, and in the end true love would prevail. _

_Or maybe it wouldn't. But who was she to decide?_

_He bravely met his fingers to her cheek and she never dropped her stare as his index trailed across her skin, spiking goosebumps all along her arm. He moved in just an inch closer and pressed his lips softly to her cheek. _

"_Sleep well, kiddo," he said next to her ear and Bonnie scoffed softly but smiled genuinely at that and shut her eyes. _

"_Don't call me kiddo."_

And that was the last thing she remembered before falling fast asleep. It was the first _good _sleep she had gotten in weeks.

Bonnie looked up at Gail at the conclusion of her memory and the woman beamed at that as she met her eyes and soaked in the silence.

"Are you sure you're retired?" Bonnie asked and Gail chuckled at that, before pouring them both another glass of wine and holding up her own with a smirk before answering her question.

"Any more repressed memories you might want to work through? I'm here all night."

XXXXX

On a scale of one to ten, Damon was at about a three when it came to how exciting it was to be out to dinner with Stefan and his dad. And he was being generous because the waitress got his order right, despite the fact that he was convinced she hadn't even _heard _what he said, because she was too busy ogling him, as if this was Christmas dinner and he was the roasted, juicy ham in the center of it.

Olivia—_or was it Ophelia? Who cared honestly_—was beautiful enough, but he had his _own_ smoke-show, knockout waiting patiently for him at home, and the sooner he got through whatever _this was _over with, the sooner he could get back to her.

And honestly? He'd never missed her more than he did in this very moment.

Things had been awkward with Bonnie all week since their conversation about Stefan and his lack of desire to speak to him. And even though he did apologize about his piss-poor attitude and she accepted it, he knew that he was still on the hook to make it up to her, somehow. And he knew just the way, because he'd planned a romantic dinner for them tomorrow at an Italian restaurant, he'd been dying to take her to, in Florence. And he couldn't _wait _to grovel at her Giuseppe Zanotti heels because if he knew Bonnie, he knew she was going to make him beg for it.

And he would beg, alright. So long as he'd have her begging right back at the end of the night.

Besides, their little tiff had been insignificant at this point and pretty much didn't matter anyway, because his father made it clear his feud with Stefan had gone on too long and he was expected to get over it when he scheduled this dinner for tonight. This was his way of telling his sons that they _were _going to talk, and Damon didn't have any say in that.

It was a good thing he put up so much of a fight for nothing, then.

Damon was pardoned out of his thoughts when Giuseppe cleared his throat with a smile and grabbed his champagne flute to raise his glass into a cheers before they dug into their first course.

Their table was covered with a colorful antipasto that Damon didn't hesitate to dig into—_you didn't have to tell him twice when Giuseppe was paying—_as he carefully popped a mushroom in his mouth before grabbing his drink as well, to oblige his father with a cheers.

Stefan's glass clinked with the other men as well but he remained silent and seemed observatory, as Damon caught him more than once staring at him from the corner of his eyes, before finally looking away and down at his cell phone a few times, quickly responding to a few texts before turning it off and sliding it into his pocket when his father gave him the stern eye after the tenth time.

His brother was acting weird. But that wasn't new. Stefan got into a tizzy over _everything_—and more likely than not, he was probably arguing with Caroline over fabric softener or something. But that didn't matter.

Damon was just now learning that he didn't always have to care to learn about why his brother was in mood. Especially when he was still hellbent on ignoring his existence.

"This is long overdue," Giuseppe said as he folded his hands and his TAG Heuer Carrera watchband flashed beneath the sleeve of his suit; blue eyes bouncing between both men. "I've been meaning to speak to you both about something that I… have been waiting to get off of my chest," he said and Damon lifted a brow at that as he sipped his bourbon neat and cocked his head.

"So, you didn't set all of this up with the hopes of ambushing me into forgiving Stefan? That's wonderful news," Damon said with a chipper tone and his brother scoffed at that but didn't reply as Damon met his eyes. "Oh, come on, Steffy... Daddy has no plans to _make_ you apologize to me over being such a shitty brother and siding with Evil Enzo over Bonnie and me. You must be _thrilled_."

"Shut up, Damon."

"Make me," Damon smiled sweetly in response and Stefan rolled his eyes but didn't get the chance to respond.

"Both of you, shut up," his father ordered as he glanced between the two and let out a sigh as he shook his head. "Damon, I did not set this up with the intentions of having you and your brother hash it out," he confirmed, and Damon nodded and mouthed _thanks _at that before his father continued. "Because you're both men—even if you're not _acting_ like it. And I _expect_ you two to do that in your own, without my interference. On your own time," he said as Stefan ticked his jaw but didn't reply and Damon shook his head but also remained silent. "I gathered you both here tonight because I have news that affects this family—that affects you _both. _And… I wanted to speak to you both about what happens next—about how I expect you both to behave."

Damon sat up at that—Stefan as well—as they both watched on as their father cracked his knuckles and cleared his throat; meeting both of their eyes routinely as he let the silence filter them.

It wasn't every day that Giuseppe Salvatore wanted to talk—_hell, most of the time he'd rather not speak and let his actions do the talking for him—_so it was wise to pay attention when he did. Especially because their father may have been taking baby steps to let them both know that he loved them now—and he would always—but he was still no fucking sap. And Damon immediately felt whipped into shape whenever he was in his presence; whether formal or casual.

And right now, his stringent stare was telling him that his dad did indeed have something serious to discuss with them at this dinner table.

Even if it wasn't the petty feud that was happening between them at this present time.

"Is everything okay, Dad?" Stefan asked first and Damon ticked his jaw as he waited for his response. "What's going on?"

"I'm moving, back home, to Mystic Falls, next month," he announced and both brothers' eyes widened as Giuseppe offered an affirming nod as Stefan and Damon remained flabbergasted all the while. "Italy has been good, to me and to Gail, but it's time to come back home. To be with my boys—for us to be a real family again, for as long as we have the opportunity to do so," he said. They both were quiet still and Giuseppe took another sip of his drink before he ticked his jaw. "We aren't selling the Lucca estate—or the properties in Milan and Genoa, and Rome. It will all be updated in my will accordingly," he said and they both just stared at him like he had three heads. "Call me foolish, but I thought you'd both be happier about this…"

"I'm happy. I'm happy you're coming home, father," Stefan spoke up first as his green eyes met his Dad and he quickly glanced at Damon who still looked dumbfounded but hadn't said a word. "I guess Damon and I are just… _surprised_, is all. What, uh… what made you make this decision, so suddenly? You and Gail discussed this? How does she feel?"

Giuseppe glanced between them and leaned in closer as Damon's head swarmed with an array of thoughts and questions he now had as well, as he waited for his father to speak.

Because this really threw a monkey wrench into his plans with Bonnie as well.

Did his father and Gail purchase a new home in Mystic Falls?

Were they moving back into the boarding house?

Was he now going to have to live with _them _at the boarding house?

Were they kicking him out just as he was planning on asking Bonnie to move in?

What the hell _was_ the plan exactly?

And it seemed Stefan was just as interested to hear that as he awaited his father's answer with bated breath. Damon was unsure why Stefan seemed so curious because after all—this didn't affect him in the slightest, he and Caroline bought a house when Damon inherited the mansion—but he watched as his brother fidgeted for a moment and took a sip of his Tom Collins, as they waited to hear Giuseppe out.

He guessed Stefan's morbid curiosity came right back around to his brother being his typical, annoying, busybody, _nosey ass _self who needed to be involved in _everything. _Including shit that didn't pertain to him at all.

Because clearly, having a wife and two kids didn't stop him from making everyone's else's business _his own; _Damon experienced it firsthand with his relationship with Bonnie.

He couldn't help but wait to see just how his brother would make Giuseppe's choice about moving back about himself—because he wouldn't be Stefan if he didn't.

For now, Damon just wondered where this left him, in the grand scheme of things because, no offense, but his grown-up 31 year old self had _no plans _to be living with Gail and Giuseppe in a month when they decided to come back. And despite how much he loved the boarding house, he'd reconcile with giving it up if he had to, if that was where they wanted to stay.

He wasn't too proud or broke to find himself an apartment or a home of his own if that was where this conversation was headed. But he did hate that it could potentially derail the future he had been silently been planning with Bonnie, because he still wasn't sure just how she'd feel about moving into a new place or—potentially—allowing her to move into his.

Now he had a hell of a lot more to think about.

Damon looked back up at his father and he felt something twist in pit of his stomach when he noticed that Giuseppe still hadn't answered the question; what really made him change his mind so quickly, when he'd previously told them he planned to live out his _entire _retirement here in Italy.

He was sure there was even a mausoleum around here somewhere with the Salvatore Family name on it.

"I'm… sick," his father finally said, and Damon's brows shot up at that as Stefan's furrowed and he shook his head.

It seemed he had gotten his answer sooner rather than later.

"Sick? Sick _how_?" Stefan asked and Damon's mouth suddenly went dry as he listened on, but almost instantly he felt like he couldn't breathe when he looked away and the sounds of his father and Stefan faded into a muffled white noise as he stared straight ahead.

Because suddenly, his worst fears had come true. His father was dying, and he'd said it, so freely and so casually over their first course, as if he wasn't supposed to react to that; as if he wasn't supposed to want to burn this entire place fucking down.

_Why was he being so nonchalant about this? _

"We'll discuss the details in the privacy our home. Not here," he said evenly, and Stefan pinched the bridge of his nose while Damon just sat there, frozen. "But I needed you both to know. Because I… want to spend the time that I have left, with you both. I didn't think it would be right for you both to leave here, unaware of my condition," Giuseppe explained and Damon finally snorted at that as his leg was suddenly shaking and his index tapped against the table while he looked down.

He couldn't believe what the fuck he was hearing.

"Like Sarah? You just let Sarah leave without saying anything and you're supposed to walk her down the aisle," he mumbled, and his father sighed as Damon continued to look at his lap. "And now you're explaining this, like it's all… daisies and roses—like we're just talking about movie plot lines, but you're gonna die, Dad. You are _dying… _How long have you known? Why didn't you say something sooner?"

There was silence between the three and Stefan swallowed hard as he pursed his lips and his father watched as he blinked back tears and spoke in the most even tone that he could though his voice was shaking the entire time.

"Damon, I'm sure this was hard enough for him to say… We don't need to make him feel any worse about it. Okay?"

"Fuck you, Stefan," Damon said immediately as he rose to his feet and his younger brother remained silent as a tear rolled down his cheek and Damon let out a humorless laugh as he clenched his knuckles tight. "You don't get to tell me how I react to my father _dying. _You don't get to control _everything_—it's not up to you how I feel about this. So, stay out of it—for once in your goddamn life."

Stefan stood up at that as well and exhaled a deep breath as he folded both arms over his chest.

"I never said that it was up to me, Damon. None of this is up to me—despite what you may think. I'm just saying that maybe you need to calm down— "

"Or _what?_" Damon asked as he shoved him suddenly and Stefan's lips pressed shut as the comfortable chatter in the restaurant seemed to come to a screeching halt and the whispering began, as a few patrons started to pay attention to the spat happening between the brothers who stood chest to chest before Giuseppe stood up as well, holding up his hand between them.

"Stop this, _now_. Both of you," he gritted between his teeth as Stefan and Damon continued to stare at one another down with daggers in their eyes. "This is not how I raised you."

Damon shook his head at that. He couldn't believe his ears.

"You're right, Dad. You raised us to be respectable young men… who lie. And pretend everything is fine when it's _not _fine; when it's all just fucking falling apart," Damon shot back and his father followed his eyes as Damon's blue ones instantly filled with the pain and rage he'd been holding onto his entire life, until now. He was done bottling this all up inside. "I've spent my _entire life _pretending to be someone that I'm not for your sake—for _his sake_," he said pointing at Stefan and his brother didn't say anything in response as Damon's wild eyes remained wide. "And you know what? I guess I'm finally sick of it. I'm _sick to death _of pretending that nothing hurts me—that neither one of you has ever hurt me," he said angrily as he inhaled a deep breath and bit his bottom lip so hard, he almost drew blood. "You're dying, father. _You're dying._ And my guess? My guess is that it's terminal, you have left then a year to live, and I'm just gonna have to pretend that I don't have _any _of this pent of trauma from losing mom the _exact _same way, because I'm the kid… but I'm _supposed _to make you feel better. I get the _privilege _of making you feel fine about this as you come to terms with although I never do; I don't even come close. And then… I get to watch you _die… _Right?" he asked as a tear rolled down his cheek and Giuseppe's expression softened when he watched Damon choke back his emotions; just as he had been, his entire life. "How did I do? Did I pass your test?"

He didn't wait for his father's answer.

Instead he walked away briskly, pushing Stefan out of his way on his way out, and when his brother called him back and attempted to go after him, Giuseppe's hand stopped him as he looked into his eyes and offered a frown.

Stefan bit his bottom lip and sat down, without saying a word as he looked into his father's eyes.

It was the first time he thought he might actually see Giuseppe cry, as his father's normally stern blue eyes seemed to gloss over a little bit, even though no tears fell at all.

They never would.

"Give him a minute," Giuseppe said as he cracked his knuckles before grabbing his flute of champagne and taking a sip; his hands were shaking when he placed it back down and Stefan observed him carefully but didn't say a word in response; quietly offering a nod._ "Just… give your brother a minute."_


	12. Chapter 12

**This Is Me Trying**

A/N: Trigger warning for some talk about depression and suicide.

"_Come here. Let me help you with that."_

_Damon looked in the mirror and he saw his mother standing behind him with a smile. and He turned around with a hop as the woman knelt down to meet his face and placed both hands onto his discombobulated tie. _

_She let out a soft chuckle that spread into a smirk across her freckled cheeks; immediately infecting his, as his mouth did the same. _

_Her blue eyes met his as her hands carefully undid the mess that he made, and Damon watched her intently before he opened his mouth to speak. _

"_I almost had it."_

"_Of course, you did, honey," she grinned, knowing that couldn't be further from the truth as she began to loop the fabric correctly. "Are you excited for the school dance? It'll be your first of many I'm sure," she said, and Damon cheesed excitedly at that before he spoke. _

"_Uh huh. Papa said that I can even bring _one _toy with me if I promise not to lose it," he said, and her pink lips formed into a smile at that as he continued on. "If I ask nicely, do you think he'll let me bring two?"_

"_Don't push your lucky, _caro_," she said before finishing off his tie and pinching his cheek affectionately. Damon blushed at that, though his smile was still wide. "Won't you be too busy for your toys, anyway? All of your friends will be there; Caroline, Alaric, Marcellus, Elena… Bonnie," she said, and he nodded as he turned to look in the mirror at his newly affixed tie while Lily placed both hands on his shoulders. "A little birdie told me you were excited to see her."_

"_Yeah, so I could show her my cool scar from the doctor!" he exclaimed, and Lily laughed as he lifted a pant leg to flash his freshly heeled wound on his ankle, from where his stitches had been removed after falling off of his new skateboard. "I also got her a card."_

"_You did? Is she your Valentine?"_

"_Uh huh. And so is Elena. And Meredith Fell. Just in case. I asked Caroline too, but she told me to eat dirt," he said flippantly, and Lily snorted at that as he continued to smile. "I think she likes Stefan more than me."_

"_Well, you can't have _all _the girls, sweetheart. You've got to let your brother have at least one," she laughed. He grinned and she lifted a brow. "I hope you saved something for me then?" she asked, and Damon nodded as he slid his hands into his pockets almost instantly and Lily watched on. _

"_Of course, I did Mama. I got you this," he said as he pulled out a purple plastic heart shaped ring from his front pocket with a card attached as her eyes lit up and he turned to face her with a beaming smirk. "It's violet… your favorite color. Papa told me so."_

"_Huh. Confirmation that your father does listen to me after all," she joked, and Damon smiled as his mother took the ring out of her hand and pretended to inspect it carefully. "Is this real? What's it worth?"_

"_A million dollars!"_

"_Did he tell you to say that too?" she asked, and Damon nodded without hesitation and she grinned as she looked into his eyes. "Thank you. I love it, no matter what the cost. And I love you. No matter how many Valentines' you have… I just hope I'll always be one of them, dear," she said, and he nodded before she pulled him in for a hug—her head landing on the crown of his head as he held onto her tightly. _

"_Always. Promise to never leave me, Mama."_

"_I promise," she winked as she held onto the ring tightly in her hand and whispered into his ear. "I'm here, whenever you need me. I'm not going anywhere, Damon. I'll be with you forever."_

"So much for that," his mind said crudely.

Because forever ended a year later, when she lay terminally ill in her hospice bed; pale, gaunt, but still with a smile as bright as the sun when she took his hand into hers one last time and placed it softly to her cool lips to give his palm a kiss.

He watched as a tear rolled down her cheek and disappeared into her auburn hair. Her voice was sweet and tranquil when she said what would be her final words to him, and he wished he had savored them more if he knew that this would be the end.

But he was too young and dumb to understand what this all really meant. He still felt that way, sometimes, to be honest.

"_I'm sorry I broke that promise—about forever."_

"_You didn't, Mama. Because you _will_ be with me forever, in _here_," he pointed to his heart and she nodded at that with misty eyes, though her tears were threatening to crash onto her cheeks and Damon smiled obliviously. "I understand if you have to go now… It's okay. Because I'm going to take care of Papa and Stefan. Everything is gonna be fine. I promise."_

Spoiler alert— that was a fucking lie, too.

Damon took another long sip from the bourbon bottle in his hand and he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before exhaling deep sigh.

He fought back the tears that threatened to roll down his cheeks as the brisk cold air outside tickled his skin, and he continued to stare ahead, out into the empty nothingness of the huge property in the backyard of his father's mansion.

It had been a few hours since he'd stormed out of dinner with Stefan and Giuseppe, and naturally, he'd hit up a few bars with the hopes of getting blackout drunk before he got himself into a taxi and finally came back home.

But not before bribing the bartender with $200 cash for the unopened bottle of top shelf bourbon he had sitting behind the bar.

He thanked his lucky stars that the man didn't seem to realize just how drunk Damon already was.

That, or he just didn't care. Which was even better.

So, here he was— at 1 o'clock in the morning—drinking away his misery and stirring up old, hurtful feelings because his goddamned history was repeating itself again.

Giuseppe was dying. And he was going to have to do this all over again, just like he had when he was a kid.

_And he wasn't quite sure he _could _do this again, if he were honest. _

Nothing could change the crippling pain that came with losing a parent. He'd learned that early on, when he tried his hardest not to feel it after his mother died. Damon did his best to ignore the stabbing he felt in his heart—_the persistent noise he heard in his head_—once it finally set in that she was gone, and she wasn't coming back. Because he'd lost her, just like that. And no amount of praying, bargaining, or atoning would bring her back to him.

She was just _dead_.

And his father would be dead too. He'd lose them both too quickly, _too soon_, and there was nothing that he could do to change that. And because of it he felt useless; completely helpless. But he didn't have the time to, because he was supposed to be strong for him, and for Stefan, again—just like he had been in the past.

But how could he manage to be strong for _them_ when he could no longer even be strong for _himself?_

That seemed to be life's great existential question.

He gulped down a bit more from the bottle—way more than he needed—and he swallowed hard as the alcohol burned all the way down his throat; stinging in his chest and numbing him almost instantly as he no longer minded the cold air, and instead welcomed it, as he pulled his suit jacket off and let it fall carelessly to the grass. He stumbled forward until he was front of the massive in-ground pool and shut his eyes tightly— willing himself to bring back the memories of when he'd seen his mother last; the last time she was happy, without a worry or a care in the world.

He desperately wanted to remember her before the diagnosis; before she started to lose her hair in chunks. Before she'd lost a quarter of her weight. Before her skin evolved from a beautiful olive tone to a ghostly white.

He hated that he remembered her for the shell that she became when she died instead of the strong, thoughtful, loving woman that she was when she was alive.

And he hated that when it came to his father, it was going to be just the same.

Giuseppe was fine now, but he wouldn't in six months, when his health really started to deteriorate and that was the part that terrified Damon the most. Because he soon would have to rewire and rewrite the memories he'd held onto so tightly to match the reality of his situation.

And his situation? Well, he was fucked, to put it lightly.

He still wasn't sure how he'd reconcile with that. He wasn't sure if he ever would.

Damon shut his eyes for a moment as he moved closer to the edge of the pool and he looked down into the dark blue abyss; his mind spinning for a moment as he tried to think about somehow—_someway—_that he wouldn't have to _feel _this anymore and he squeezed his eyes shut hard, as another cold tear rolled down his jaw.

He knew what the answer was. He knew what the _easiest _way to handle _all _of this would be.

He knew that if he was going to cope, he would have to just turn it off.

_He'd have to stop feeling pain—feeling anything—if he wanted to survive._

And that was easy enough. After all, he'd done it before, when his mom died. He'd decided to just _stop _feeling the pain—_stop dealing with it altogether_—when her death finally set in and the hurt just became too much to bear, and he couldn't find another way to get out of bed in the morning.

Because after all, he was just a kid. And he didn't have any of the answers, despite how much he wanted to. And he certainly couldn't take care of Stefan or his father when he was like this; hell, he could barely even make it through most days when he looked to her spot at the dinner table and she just wasn't there.

He struggled with losing her—much more than he liked to think about or even admit, and he found himself tempted all too often with his mother's last Percocet prescription that he'd swiped from the medicine cabinet just before his father finally gained the strength to get her things together and clear them out.

He kept the bottle underneath his pillow.

And he thought about taking them—_all of them—_everyday for a month; as he ate his cereal in the morning and brushed his teeth before bed. He even thought about it when Stefan lay fast asleep just across their shared bedroom in the middle of the night; just a few feet away, snoring soundly, with no idea of the pain and inner turmoil that Damon was going through. And he often wondered just what his younger brother might do if he awoke one morning to find him there, without a pulse?

Would he cry? Would he scream?

_Would anyone even notice?_

Damon sadly fantasized about it all.

And the suicidal thoughts usually stopped there because he knew that he couldn't do that to them—_not to Stefan especially. _Because his baby brother was still grieving their mother and if Damon decided to do this, he'd ruin him for the rest of his life.

He knew there was no saving Stefan's sweet and innocent soul if he was just _gone_, as well. So why damn them both if he could at least give his brother a fighting chance at peace and salvation?

Even if he'd never truly find his own?

So, he held it all in—despite how much it hurt. Despite how many times he thought about ending it all, until he finally flushed the pills down the drain and convinced himself that there had to be another way; there _needed _to be another way out of this.

And that's what made turning it off after that so _easy_ once because he did finally decide that he wanted to live. He just didn't want to live with _this _anymore.

So, he was going to live. He wasn't going to end his life. But he was going to cut out a major portion of it if that was what it would take to feel whole again.

_If that's what it would take to stop feeling so human. _

So, he didn't talk about his mom—not to anyone, not even his school psychologist—and he rid his bedroom of any and all reminders of her—even surprising both Stefan and his father—as he packed it all into a box, shoved it into the attic, and decided that he was never going to look at them again.

And things had finally gotten easier from there.

He started doing better in school. He started helping out around the house. He started taking care of everything—including Stefan—because he'd _stopped _caring about the fact that his mother had died—and he let go of every emotion that he had tied to that, because it was easier for him to cope, if he just pretended like she never existed.

He didn't say anything on Mother's Day. He didn't cry when it was her birthday. He barely blinked when it came to _anything _concerning his mother, and while the people around him thought it was progress, he knew he had just had them all fooled.

Well, almost everyone. Because then Bonnie Bennett happened. And he realized his entire plan was fucked.

She was the reason why he started to _feel _again.

Damon itched at the memory, as he recalled it all; the fact that _no one _found it weird that he just got over it and he was barely grieving his mother even though the wounds were fresh and should have taken much longer to heal, if he had been dealing with it properly.

No one noticed, except for her. And she called him out on it one day, when they rode their bikes down to the falls and sat in a deafening silence while sharing a sandwich, watching the water crashing against the rocks.

They talked about her grandfather—Sheila's husband—who had passed away recently and she explained how sad it made her, even though they hadn't been particularly close. But she still cried about, nonetheless, on his shoulder for a few minutes before finally wiping her eyes and looking into his.

And that was when she asked him why he didn't talk about his mom anymore, because she knew how close they were; she knew that his mom was his best friend. And Damon told her that he had found a way to fix it.

"_I told myself not to feel… It's like she never existed," Damon said proudly. "You should try it. You don't have to sad anymore, Bon."_

_Bonnie swallowed a bite of the sandwich at that and met his jaded blue eyes before opening her mouth to offer a response. Her brown pigtails swayed with the wind; her green eyes remained wide. _

"_That's not okay, Damon—to act like she didn't mean anything to you."_

"_Of course, it is. I can't stay sad forever. She's gone. And I don't care."_

"_I think you do care," Bonnie said boldly, and he lifted a brow at that but didn't respond as he watched her biting her lip. "Grams says it's okay to be sad—it happens to everyone. And your mom… she did exist. And she loved you. You shouldn't just forget that. Even if it's easier to deal with it that way… I don't think she'd want you to forget her either, Damon."_

Damon's knuckles turned white as he gripped the bottle even harder before he took another swig.

And she didn't let it go, for the rest of the fucking night.

Bonnie had been the reason he flipped his switch back on. She was the reason the flood gates re-opened and his own emotions nearly _suffocated him_ when he cried to her at the falls, as it all suddenly came rushing back to him even heavier than it had the first time he experienced his grief the more that she pressed until he finally broke.

That had been the worst day of his life—even worse than the day his mother died.

Because he finally had to confront everything that he had been running from for months. He finally had to feel everything he'd been repressing for the sake of his heart and his sanity—and once he let all of that back in? Well, it changed everything, he realized, as he went right back to wanting to _die _all over again because what was the point? Why _was _he still even here?

He quickly realized the reason; and the reason was _Bonnie. _

Because Bonnie called him—every single day—to check in on him when she couldn't see him face to face. She checked in even when he told her to leave him alone; even when he asked his father to tell her he wasn't home.

And that was a mistake because then she'd just show up to see if he were telling the truth, which he wasn't, and she'd force him to talk about what he was feeling every single time.

He did, eventually. And he realized it didn't always have to hurt, talking about it. Sometimes he actually smiled; there were a few times she even made him _laugh_.

He told Bonnie his favorite memories of his mom—he told her everything he'd been holding in—and it nearly stripped his soul bare as he realized he'd become to _vulnerable _with her, to the point that she knew it all and she knew _him._

_She knew everything. _

And though the pain never really went away, it started to subside—as did his urges to find another pill bottle to swallow—and he knew right then and there that Bonnie Bennett had become the most important person in his life.

_Bonnie was his emotional tether. _

She grounded him—_anchored him—_during the heaviest storm of his life. And he knew she'd be prepared to do it again, now that his father was dying. She would do that in the blink of an eye for _him._

But he couldn't let her. He _wouldn't _let her, he decided, as he took another sip of his drink and stared blankly ahead.

Because Bonnie had her entire life ahead of her; she always had. And they weren't kids anymore. She was smart, young, beautiful, and successful. She was marriage material—_she was the mother of your future five children material. _And the very last thing she needed to set herself up to do was become his _babysitter_, when his father passed, just like she had been when he lost his mother. He knew he was going to be a wreck. He knew he would be _destroyed, _and in typical Bonnie Bennett fashion, she wouldn't stop picking up the pieces until he was whole again.

But who knew if he'd _ever _be whole again? And how could he just let her waste her life trying to ensure that, that would happen?

_He'd wasted enough of Elena's time. Bonnie did not have to be next. _

He pulled the bottle away from his mouth and sniffled back his tears as he quietly ticked his jaw.

He was making a decision now, then—that if he was going to do this, he'd have to make sure Bonnie Bennett didn't get in the way of it again. Because she wouldn't stop until she fixed him. She would force him to feel. She wasn't going to just _let him _carry on, as he had before; being recklessly strong about all of this, to the detriment of his own well-being and psyche.

Because sure, he'd been angry with his father and with Stefan for _expecting_ him to keep it together the way that he had when Lily died; because they both depended on him, and it was easier to deal with it all if Damon—_the certified unstable train wreck—_could do it. He'd loved Lily more than anyone and he found a way to pick up and move on. He'd found a way to get out of bed every morning. So why couldn't they do it if Damon had?

And while he hated that role that they bestowed upon him, he had just as easily stepped into it, too. It was just as much his fault, as it was theirs. So, could he really blame them for expecting something from him that he _accepted _so mindlessly?

Something he was willing to do _again_, consequences be damned, if it meant that he could survive this and save Bonnie's light at the same time?

He absolutely _would _survive this and save her in the process if he just turned it off, again.

_So, he just had to turn it off. _

He knew, now, that it was the only way.

"_Damon?"_

He swallowed hard and turned around slowly and didn't say a word. Because there she was—_an angel, in her own right—_staring back at him, from just a few feet away and her arms wrapped around her tiny frame in a pea coat, as she watched him silently with tears already forming in her eyes though he hadn't said a word yet.

He couldn't.

Damon didn't move—he didn't even breathe—as Bonnie gave him the once over; noting the bottle in his hand, his coat on the ground, and most importantly the callous look on his face when his blue eyes hooded and he licked his teeth but still, didn't say a word.

He was standing way too close to the water for her to feel comfortable. Her eyes said that, even without her mouth doing so.

"Relax. I'm not gonna jump," he said, and she didn't respond. "Just enjoying the solitude."

Bonnie took a step in closer at that and Damon remained frozen when she finally appeared just _inches _away from him, as she swallowed hard and placed a hand to his cheek, carefully. She finally reached down and grabbed his jacket, but he stopped her at the wrist as she furrowed her brows and looked into his eyes.

"You're freezing. You should put it on."

"I'm fine" he said flatly, and she sighed but didn't argue as she folded her arms and Damon's voice remained desolate, just the same. "What are you doing here? How did you know I was outside?"

"I tracked you; Find my iPhone. We've known each other for 30 years, Damon. Of course, I know your password," she admitted, and Damon ticked his jaw at that but didn't respond. "I was worried, when you didn't come back with your father and Stefan. I waited, a while, for you to call but you didn't," she added, and he watched her cold breath leave her lips. "Why didn't you call?"

"I needed to clear my head. And empty a few shot glasses of tequila," he said with a smirk as Bonnie pursed her lips shut. "I had just enough to make me _fun _again. Do you wanna take me for a spin?"

She scrunched brows at that.

"This isn't funny, Damon."

"Isn't it, though? I mean—this _is_ what I deserve. Right? After everything I've done—to Enzo, Elena, to everyone... It's poetic, I think."

"You think that you _deserve_ this?... You think your father _dying _is your cosmic karma because you fell in love with _me_?" she asked softly, and he didn't say a word as she shook her head and swallowed hard. "It's not. This… this isn't karma, Damon. It's just _life. _And it's tragic. And you're making jokes but… I know it's because you're hurting. And I am… _so sorry_. I'm sorry that I can't change this for you. I'm sorry that I can't take your pain away," she said. There was a long silence between them at that, and Damon looked away when he felt Bonnie's hand land on his cheek again; her thumb slowly rubbing soft circles against his skin as she desperately tried to capture his eyes. "You don't _deserve_ this, Damon; no one does... No one deserves to go through this twice."

Damon finally looked up at her at that, and Bonnie let out a soft sigh as her palm continued to press to his cheek. Damon's tongue itched and his mouth opened slightly after a few moments when he willed himself to ask her the one thing he'd be dying to, all night, since finding out about Giuseppe.

The one thing he knew would hurt him, as well, but he couldn't resist needing to hear it. Even though he knew there was no chance the truth would set him free.

_It would just really, really piss him off._

"You knew... Didn't you, Bonnie?" he asked simply, and Bonnie dropped her hand slowly at that and didn't say a word—but her face said it all, as he watched her perfect features form into a frown and she swallowed hard. "You knew that my father was dying—it's why you've been acting so weird… right? He told you, before he told me—his _son_?"

"Damon, it's… more complicated than that…"

"Is it? Which part?" he asked bluntly, and Bonnie sighed but allowed him to continue on. "He's dying. You knew he was dying. And here I thought you were getting ready to dump my ass, but… it's because you _knew_. And you didn't tell me. You didn't say a word."

Bonnie swallowed the lump that formed in her throat as she followed his eyes. And suddenly she felt nauseous.

Because she realized _this_ was what she had been dreading—because this was the worst part of it all. Her stomach twisted into knots as his eyes were filled with a devastating ache she couldn't quite put into words. All she knew was that it was excruciating to watch.

And she hated it. She hated every minute of this.

"I did. I did know," she finally answered, and he sighed, biting his lip.

"How long were you planning on keeping this from me?"

"I… found out the night before the engagement," she said, and Damon again studied the ground as she softly spoke. "I haven't known that long, Damon, and I… He asked me not to say anything. And I promised him I wouldn't because I-I couldn't take away your father's _last chance _to have this conversation with you… because you deserved to hear it from him. It wasn't my secret to tell," she explained before inhaling a deep breath and feeling tears of her own forming in the corner of her tear ducts as she stepped in closer to him again and fought them back, despite how much she just wanted to explode right now. "I'm sorry_. _You trusted me and I had to make a choice—and I… couldn't do it, Damon. And I knew; I knew it would suck, no matter what I chose. Because one of you would get hurt. Someone would get hurt."

"Me. I'm the one who's hurt, Bonnie, because you're right. It does suck. It sucks to know that the _one person _that you would trust with your _life _finds it so fucking easy to lie to you," he responded evenly, and she sighed but didn't answer that as he continued on. "I would never keep something like this from you. _Ever. _Whether it was your Mom, your Dad, or your Grams…Because _you _matter to me, Bonnie. You mean _that _much to me that I would tell you everything. But was I wrong to expect the same from you? _Will I ever _mean the same to you?"

"Damon—" she started but pursed her lips as he walked past her. He was nearly twenty feet away when he heard her voice—loud, firm, and strong—and it stopped him in his tracks, even though he didn't turn around to look at her. He squeezed his eyes shut as tightly as he formed his fists and tried to stifle the water filling his eyes. He felt her eyes burning holes through his back all the while as he looked away from her.

It felt like every inch of his skin was on fire.

"Of course, you mean that much to me. _Of course, _you do," she said, and he remained silent as she stared sadly ahead, absorbing every word. "But if you're going to question that—if _that's_ what you're gonna take away from all of this, Damon—then I am going to call you out on it. Because I know exactly what you're doing. And it's not okay."

"What am I doing, Bonnie? I'm upset—"

"You're deflecting!" she exclaimed, and he remained silent at that as he heard her take a few steps in but he still didn't turn around to face her. "You're _deflecting_ because you're sad and you need something else to focus on. So, you chose hate. You're _choosing hate,_" she said, and Bonnie swallowed hard as she watched the back of his head and she exhaled a shaky breath before she continued. "You want me to fight with you. So that we'll have an excuse to break up… And _you'll _have an excuse to turn it all off again, right? Because you _know _I won't let that happen—I won't let you run from this. Not again."

Damon ticked his jaw at that and turned around to look at her finally, and he watched as her arms hugged her body tightly and her eyes remained as serious as her voice had been. He took a step in towards her as he shook his head with a humorless laugh and Bonnie watched on when he stopped just a few feet away.

His blue eyes were shining like daggers.

_He was so close. He just needed to get through this conversation, he reminded himself._

"That's exactly what I want," he replied, and her brows knitted at that, but she didn't say anything in response as Damon pursed his lips. "I want to break up."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said _no_," Bonnie repeated herself and he lifted a brow at that as he watched her strength build within her eyes again before she spoke. "If you've decided that you _hate me _because I lied to you, then fine, do it. Fucking _hate me, _then, for the rest of your life," she added boldly. "I can live with that—with you _hating _me—if it means that you'll finally stop hating yourself," she said, and he remained silent as he listened to her honest words that were cutting like a knife.

Damon blinked at that and she watched as tears filled his eyes, but he offered a flippant shrug and he looked away as she came in closer—his heart was pounding out of his chest with every step she took.

"So, what if I do hate myself?" he asked, faux bravado lacing his voice as she watched on. "So, what if I do _blame myself, _Bonnie, for everything? Maybe that's what helps me sleep better at night; owning it. I've accepted who I am and what I'm not. I know that I'm not the son my mother deserved—or the man my father wants me to be and that's _fine. _I'm _fine—_"

"You're not fine. And that's okay, Damon. It's okay to _not _be okay."

There was silence between them, and Damon shook his head at that but looked down at the ground again to avoid the emotions her look would cause with one look into his eyes.

Bonnie continued on as she took another step in towards him.

"This will hurt, Damon. A lot. It already does. But… You're gonna feel it; you're not gonna turn it off like you did with your mom, okay? And you're gonna _hate this_, and _me,_ if you have to, but you're going to process it. You're going to process _all of it_. You're gonna let it all in. Because that's the _only_ way you will truly heal from this... is if you allow yourself to feel the pain. You have to let yourself grieve, Damon. And… you have to spend as much time as you can with your Dad. Before he's gone and you don't get the chance… because he loves you. He will _always _love; you will _always _be good enough—you already are."

Damon blinked hard at that and Bonnie felt her lip trembling as she watched the heartless, ice cold, hardened look in his eyes suddenly begin to melt. It was like she'd found the exact button to push—_the correct code to crack the safe_—as she watched Damon's compassion, tenderness, and soul re-enter his body in just a matter of seconds—as if it had been waiting there, bubbling beneath the surface all along, begging to be free.

_Begging for her to save him from drowning. _

And just like that, a pool of tears formed in his eyes and rushed down his cheeks as he stared at her hopelessly—_desperately—_unable to stop it as he tried to catch them with his hands, but he failed. He failed miserably.

His cheeks flushed with shame—_embarrassment—_and he turned away again, so he didn't have to face her.

Bonnie moved in even closer—until they were a breath apart—and she placed both hands on the sides of his neck as Damon continued to stare off into space and avoid her eyes.

He didn't want her to see him cry. She hadn't, in so long, and it made him feel weak—_weaker than he already was—_when he let his emotions get the better of him. It was easier to turn it off; not to feel. And he wanted to—he wanted to so badly right now, as he felt her thumbs stroking his skin and she sniffled before whispering softly. He pressed his eyes shut when she spoke.

"Look at me, Damon,"

He couldn't, he refused; he even shook his head _no_ as Bonnie exhaled softly before trying again, now stroking his jaw.

"You've seen every inch of me; at my best, at my worst… at my absolute _lowest. _And every single time, you made me feel safe. You made me feel like my feelings were valid and I just… want you to know that _you're _safe. _Your _feelings are valid… and feeling this—_all of this_—doesn't make you weak. It makes you human. And that's okay—it's okay feel like the weight of everything is crashing down on you, Damon. Just as long as you get back up; just as long as you keep _fighting._"

Damon looked at her at that and Bonnie watched as a tear rolled down his cheek and he opened his mouth to talk but he could barely get a word out. He couldn't even make a sound, he was so upset, he realized as everything inside of him suddenly crumbled and _collapsed. _His chest tightened, his heart pounded, and before he knew it, he was full out crying, for the first time in _years, _as he closed in on Bonnie's shoulder as she pulled him in just as quickly and wrapped him into a hug.

A hug that engulfed his bones and nearly set him on fire because he just felt _so much that he couldn't say; _so much that he didn't even know where to begin, and her eyes told him that, that was okay. It was okay not to know where to start. It was okay not to know when this would end.

But it wasn't okay to stop. It wasn't okay _not _to want to feel or live, at all.

He buried his head and his sobs into her shoulder as she gripped onto him tightly— feeling her own tears finally fall down her cheeks too, as her hand gently rubbed his back and Damon spoke muffled against her coat, though she could make out every word.

Hell, she could even make out every single thump of his heartbeat right now.

"I can't do this again. I'm scared won't survive it," he repeated through his tears and Bonnie held onto him even tighter as he continued to cry. "What am I gonna do, Bon? It hurts—it hurts _so much. And this is just the beginning_—"

"I know, I know," she soothed him as she only pulled away from the embrace long enough to look into his eyes and her heart broke even more when she saw his pinks cheeks were coated with tears. She brushed her thumbs along his jaw and found his crystal blue eyes as they stared back into hers. "But I will help you, okay? I'm not going anywhere. It's me and you… _forever. _I'll look after you, Damon. I promise you that."

He inhaled and swallowed hard as her gentle tone filled his ears—her even gentler hands brushed his messy brown hair back and he tried to talk, but his throat felt like he'd swallowed a thousand rocks.

And that was when it hit him, how drunk he fucking was. He could barely see straight through the tears and the alcohol and he immediately regretted self-medicating himself with the bourbon, because the noise in head was just so _loud. _

But it still felt lonely all the same.

"Everyone breaks their promises to me. Everyone dies. Everyone leaves. And I'm _terrified."_

"Not me, okay? Not me. I'm not leaving," she said, and he blinked back his tears as her hands grabbed his—slowly touching his cold skin beneath her fingertips before she tightened her grip. "I'm here. I will always be here… and we'll do this, one day at a time. No matter what," she echoed his words to her; the ones he'd said to her in her dorm the night he came to check in on her—when she decided this man was worth feeling _something _for.

"No matter what?" he asked—he remembered—and she smiled though there were tears in her eyes and she nodded as she wiped away his. He took in a deep breath as he remained mesmerized, all the while.

"_No matter what… _You won't be broken forever, Damon. And this hurt—it won't last forever. But we will. _You and I will," _she reassured as she exhaled. "I believe in that. And you. I believe in you."

He nodded in understanding before she leaned in and hugged him again tightly; the warmth from her body radiated onto his, and he shut his eyes from a moment as the silence passed between them. Bonnie sighed when felt his fingertips crawl against her neck.

He was no longer cold.

Neither of them said a word after that. They just continued to hold onto another, for dear life it seemed before she finally convinced him to come with her inside, where they could figure this all out.

_She'd stay up all night if she had to. _

XXXXX

When they walked in, emerging from the shadows, only once they had gone, stood Stefan silently on the second-floor balcony connected to his bedroom as he felt silent tears coating his eyes. He watched them disappear into the house and he exhaled a breath that it felt like he'd been holding in for decades once their conversation ended and they finally left. He swallowed hard though the lump in his chest persisted.

It hadn't gone anywhere. He figured it wouldn't for a while, knowing all that he knew now. He'd only been outside to watch the stars that he couldn't see most nights in Mystic Falls, when he watched as his brother stumbled into the backyard with a bottle of bourbon in hand and his tie loose as he placed the drink to his lips.

He didn't call out to him—he knew Damon didn't want to see him—but he watched him the entire time before Bonnie came out to talk. The night was so still he had heard the entire conversation. Including the part about his brother's unhealthy coping mechanisms.

And suddenly he felt like the worst brother in the world because he didn't know. He'd never had any idea until now.

Stefan held onto the banister and mindlessly fished for his phone in his pocket before dialing the very number that had been texting him all throughout dinner with his Dad and Damon, though he had told him that he couldn't _do this_ right now; he couldn't even begin to unpack what he was telling him when the rest of his life was falling apart.

But this _was _his life—_he _was a part of it now, Stefan realized, as the phone rung in his ear before finally forwarding to the voicemail to leave a message after the beep.

He cleared his throat, but his voice still felt just as hollow as he began to talk.

"Enzo… I saw your texts. I'm sorry I couldn't talk sooner. There's a lot happening with my Dad and Damon but… I'm happy to meet to talk about Lily, once I get back if you think this is real; if you really think that you, Damon, and I are brothers," he said chewing his lip as he stared ahead, still gripping his iPhone just as tightly as he spoke. "I'll… figure out a way to break the news to him, gently. But not now. Damon's not in any position to hear this yet. He won't be, for a while, so… let's just keep this between us, okay? Call me back… Bye."

He hung up the phone and slipped it back into his pocket as he walked inside and closed the screen door shut behind him.

It was time for him to do the protecting.

XXXXX

"I'll have another. Thanks," Elena said, as she pushed her empty glass of gin and tonic forward and the bartender nodded in understanding as she walked away, and the girl let out a sigh as she looked at her watch.

_Two hours. _That's how long she had been waiting here at the Mystic Grill, and she was fairly certain she was being stood up, the longer the minutes rolled by, and she had heard radio silence from him.

She was surprised when Enzo texted her that morning and not only asked to meet up, but requested to do it in a public setting, as he suggested meeting for a drink at the Grill around 6 PM.

It was now 8. And she hadn't heard anything from him, despite texting him a few times to check in, and she could help but wonder if something had actually happened to him _or _if he were really _that much of a douchebag_ that he didn't find it necessary to just cancel on her like a normal person. Instead, he opted to waste her time and humiliate her in the process.

She pulled out her cell phone again—the last five texts sent between them were from her—and she stopped herself from sending another as she placed it down and shot the bartender a disingenuous smile before she lifted the glass to her lips and took a sip.

Fifteen minutes. She was giving him fifteen minutes before she called it quits, called an Uber, and took her drunk ass home. And then, she was going to erase his name out of her phone book and forget that she'd ever said anything about liking him—_about wanting to see where it could go_—because it clear at this point that he didn't feel the same way.

It was Bonnie. It would always be Bonnie. And she was pathetic for thinking it could be _her _this time.

_She was an idiot for thinking it would be her ever. _

She took another sip of her drink and licked the remnants off her lips, before she felt the presence of someone sitting down in the stool besides her, and she almost laughed out loud, because really?

_Two hours later, and he was going to show up, just like that? As if he'd done nothing wrong? As if this hadn't been embarrassing enough?_

She was just about ready to tell him that as she turned to face him, until she realized it wasn't _him _at all. And her brows furrowed with confusion as the familiar set of green eyes met hers and she opened her mouth to speak but muted the verbal assault she was _about _to onslaught onto Enzo as Nora smiled and she placed her pocket book on the counter before ordering a martini and turning to face her.

Elena cleared her throat and tucked a strand behind her ear as the girl continued to smirk at her knowingly.

"Hi, uhm… What are you doing here?" Elena asked and Nora clapped her hands together as Elena's eyes remained wide, sitting up straighter in her chair and following her chestnut eyes.

"Having a horrific day. Just like you, it seems. I came to grab a drink on my way home from the college and I saw you sitting here, all dressed up but alone… Are you waiting for someone?"

Elena wasn't sure how to answer that. If she said no and Enzo showed up, Nora would put two and two together and that would be bad. But if she said yes, she realized Nora would probably ask for the who. And if she said Enzo, she was liable to have a drink thrown in her face, because from what she knew about this girl, she was fiercely loyal to Bonnie. And anyone who Bonnie disliked; Nora hated. Ten-fold.

Enzo was obviously on that list, twenty times over, because of the stunt that he pulled.

"No one. Not anymore," Elena said and left it at that as Nora lifted a brow and Elena quickly changed the subject. "What about you? Why was your day so horrific?"

Nora scoffed at that, as the bartender placed her drink down and she thanked her; taking a long healthy sip, before looking back up into Elena's curious eyes and biting her bottom lip.

"I'm not sure you want to know."

"I do. I have… all the time in the world, apparently," Elena said honestly, and Nora shifted in her seat as she tucked a strand behind her ear and remained silent. "Bad day of classes? Unruly lecture hall? Or did someone pull a prank? I know Alaric hates that—"

"I had a meeting with the Dr. Maxfield, about reinstating Bonnie."

"Oh."

"Yeah," Nora said as she watched Elena purse her lips shut and she followed her eyes as the uncomfortable silence passed between them before Nora cleared her throat and finally continued on. "Look, I know you two aren't on the best of terms right now, so you probably don't care but… I… tried. I tried _really fucking hard _to get Bonnie her job back. I did everything short of selling my soul to the devil."

Elena ticked her jaw at that but remained quiet.

She may not have been involved in Nora's crusade, but she knew that part was true. Caroline had told her.

Nora was able to successfully get over 6,000 signatures just from the residents of Mystic Falls in support of getting Bonnie Bennett her job back. She'd written an article for the town newspaper, The Mystic Falls Courier, calling out the college for its lack of support when it came to the female staff members—specifically those of color. She'd held a protest, even, with the help of Caroline, Alaric, and Marcel on the campus; and she was even able to get the majority of the male faculty members to join in, as they demanded Bonnie's case to be re-reviewed and the decision overturned, as they stood with signs and megaphones outside of the 's office until he agreed to a meeting with Nora, and Nora alone.

Caroline was optimistic that they would change their minds, and this would be the perfect birthday gift and surprise for Bonnie once she returned from Italy. She gushed for what felt like _forever _over Nora when Elena went over for wine the other night, and she all but begged Elena to change her mind about helping with the party because she believed it would be the olive branch that Bonnie needed for the two girls to be able to mend their friendship.

Elena declined, although she commended Nora for all that she was doing.

And she was being honest about that.

She may not have been friends with Bonnie anymore but she didn't believe that she should have been _fired _over the incident—and it was what she meant to get across to Enzo the first time she invited him over to talk about it; she _meant _to tell him that he needed to be the one to make it right.

But instead, she fucked him.

And that was what made Nora a better human being than she was; because she was an all-around better friend, too.

Elena snapped out of her thoughts as she watched Nora take another sip. She seemed to be distant within her own musings as well, before Elena finally broke the silence with an exhale and offered a slow and understanding nod.

"I… know. Caroline told me. You were working really hard. I'm... sorry, for what it's worth. I really am sorry."

Nora nodded at that and bit her lip. Elena noticed a slight hint of tears behind her eyes, but she didn't let them fall as she cleared her throat and sat up straighter. She took a long sip of her martini and nearly finished it before folding her hands and offering a shrug.

"Yeah, well, there's only so much you can expect in a town like this," she said looking into her eyes. "The small-mindedness… the ignorance; it's a disease. And… men like that—_the one's with power, influence and money_—they'll always seek to keep women under their thumbs. Enzo got what he wanted. And Bonnie lost everything… how is that fair?"

Elena shifted uncomfortably at that as she shifted in her seat and shook her head as Nora's green eyes glowered when they met hers.

"It's not fair, Nora… It wasn't ever fair," she said evenly as Nora's tears formed again and Elena tilted her head. "But… Bonnie will be really grateful that you tried; I know her, she… doesn't forget things like that. She doesn't just forget the people who looked out for her and had her back… She's really lucky to have you."

Nora didn't respond to that, but Elena noticed as her lip trembled and she impulsively reached forward to wipe away a tear the moment it hit her cheek. Nora exhaled softly at that—at the soft touch of her skin against hers—and she offered an embarrassed smile when Elena dropped her hand. Elena's stare remained on her all the while.

"I'm sorry for crying, I just felt strongly about it, is all… She's the first person who gave me a chance at Whitmore. I'm in the middle of a suburban southern town and I'm an outsider. I'm just some loudmouth British bitch to a lot of these people—even worse that I'm not straight… so I just… I feel like I owe a lot to her; for looking out for me. For keeping me sane," Nora explained, and Elena nodded before she went on. "You… probably think that's really lame. A far cry from the girl who told you that you look like you'd drive an old beat-up station wagon."

Elena laughed at that as did Nora when she remembered that night; the time Nora came to check in on her because she'd stormed out of this very place, so upset about Bonnie and Damon. And this girl before her—who barely knew her—had been kind enough to pay her a visit and make sure that she was okay.

"No, I think it's endearing. And sweet. I think that you have a big heart and you care a lot about the people in your life and… you'll do anything to protect them. And there's nothing wrong with that… there is nothing wrong with having a heart," Elena said, and Nora sniffled at that as the girl polished off her drink and followed her eyes. "Trust me. Being heartless—_or at least pretending to be, anyway_—is not all it's cracked up to be," Elena said as she looked down and looked at the drink in her hand. "I've been guilty of caring too much. Then trying to correct it by not caring at all… And it never ends well," she said truthfully, and Nora bit her lip at that as she moved in closer, with a lowered and easier tone.

"I think I probably like you better with a heart," she said.

Elena looked up, to meet her electric green eyes, and she just stared at her for a moment; drinking in the silence between them, before she offered a soft smile and a nod. Elena tucked a strand behind her ear, and cleared her throat; her voice suddenly hoarse, when she finally opened her mouth to speak.

Nora's gaze never dropped, all the while.

"I'll keep that in mind," she said, before taking another sip of her drink.

XXXXX

"How is he doing? Is he… feeling any better?"

Bonnie turned around from the kitchen counter to meet the meek voice that came from behind her. Her eyes landed on his emerald ones and she watched as he swallowed hard; his normally relaxed features turned into a worried frown as he approached her, with his hands slipped into his denim Levi pockets.

Bonnie offered a non-committal shrug before turned back to the cutting board before her. Her hands slightly shaky as she chopped up pepper with the butcher's knife and he sidled up next to her silently; the heaviness only multiplying between them the longer the seconds passed. His green eyes pierced into her skin as he awaited an answer before she opened her mouth to speak.

"Today is better," she said simply as Stefan bit his lip, waiting for her to continue. "I… showed Damon a meditation that I do to decompress… and made him some of my Grams' tea, with herbs from Gail's garden. So, he's been… calm," Bonnie said, recapping the past three days into three sentences while he listened on. "How are you?"

Stefan offered a shrug just a flippant as he continued to watch her tiny hands at work.

"I'm fine. I'm dealing. I'm just… mostly worried about him," he admitted as he ticked his jaw and Bonnie didn't say a word in response. "Listen, Bonnie… if there's anything I can do just… You'll let me know. Right?"

Bonnie looked up at him at that. She watched as his heart broke behind his eyes and she stopped chopping for a moment to turn to face him; her arms folding over her chest. She offered a nod and Stefan exhale at that as he tried to respond with a smile but couldn't, when he felt everything tightening in his chest.

To really answer her question, he wasn't sure how he was doing, to be quite honest.

Because it'd been three days since he found out his father was dying, three days since realizing that Damon had been lying to him his entire life—holding so many things in, just for his sake, to protect him—and three days since his brother had even talked to him. The very last words that Damon had said to him were at that dinner table that night—when Damon told him go fuck himself. When he told him to just _stay out of it _for once in his goddamn life.

So, he'd been trying to. By giving Damon his space, after he witnessed just how distraught he had been in the backyard during his conversation with Bonnie; the one that _neither _of them knew he was privy to. He wanted to give Damon room to breathe because he knew this was hard on him.

And it was only going to get much harder once he found out about Enzo.

But he knew there wasn't really anything that he could do when it came to Damon, unless his brother was ready to talk to him, in return. It'd been months since they'd had a real conversation—months since they got into a petty argument about Bonnie and Enzo—and Stefan knew now that he'd been completely in the wrong to react the way that he did. Especially after seeing how well the woman in front of him had been taking care of his brother virtually all his life—even when he _hadn't _been.

Bonnie was the best thing to ever happen to Damon; she always would be. And he was stupid to think that she'd ever up and leave Damon the way that she had with Enzo, when it clear that what she felt for his brother always transcended that.

She was in love with Damon. She had always been in love with Damon. She just hadn't always been ready to admit it.

_Because she didn't even know that there was ever anything to admit. _

"Thank you, Bonnie," he said simply, and she lifted a brow at that but didn't respond as he lowered his voice, but it remained firm as he continued to talk. "Thank you for all that you've done for Damon and… I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't treat you and your relationship with the respect that it deserved, right from the start. I was wrong. And I apologize for how I reacted."

Bonnie pressed her lips shut at that she remembered; the dinner he'd set up with her and Enzo at his home in hopes of getting them back together. His chastising when it came to Damon—as he made it clear he was disgusted with his brother and his actions. So much so, he stopped talking to him for months, as she watched how much that tore Damon up inside.

It hurt, because Stefan was her friend, too. He always had been, since they were kids and she thought they would be, for the rest of their lives.

But the way Stefan treated Damon—_his own brother—_was what upset her the most. Because the Stefan she knew was better than that. And the Damon she knew _needed_ his brother; despite how much they fought, bickered, and tried to axe each other out of their lives.

Damon loved Stefan, more than anyone. He was willing to lose his mind over him. But it was toxic. And it always would be, until they both admitted that, and consciously made an effort to right the ship that had gone so terribly wrong.

And they needed to do it, before it was too late.

Bonnie dug her foot into the tiled ground, and she looked up to meet Stefan's desperate pleading eyes as he watched her in silence; waiting for her to say something—_anything. _

_Hell. He even would've been happy if she smacked him right now. _

"I appreciate that," she said instead, and he almost let out an audible sigh of relief as he watched her eyes soften against his. "I don't… forgive you on Damon's behalf. Because I can't; it's not my place to do that. But I believe you—that you are sorry. And… I am choosing to _trust you _because I believe that you can do better. I think you can do _so much better _by your brother, if he gives you the chance to do so."

Stefan nodded at that and Bonnie watched as a tear rolled down his cheek. His face was flush as he wiped it away and she let out a soft sigh when she watched him tug at his trembling lip with his teeth.

He was trying. He really, really was.

"I will. I will do better," he said honestly, and Bonnie nodded at that as he fought back another tear that threatened to roll down his cheek. "I just want my brother back, is all… And I hope it's not too late to turn it around."

"It's never too late, Stefan, you just… have to want it bad enough," she said, before she stepped in even closer and exhaled as he followed her eyes. "Damon and I… we happened because he realized that it _wasn't_ too late to go for something that he wanted; because he didn't give up, even though I had, when I realized I was settling for Enzo," she admitted as Stefan remained silent and she pursed her lips shut. "What we did was wrong. I know it was. And… you had every reason to be upset with him—_and me_—because we hurt someone who cared about us; someone who would have done _anything _for both of us. But… Damon isn't the reason I fell out of love with Enzo, he was the reason that I realized that I wasn't _in love _with him to begin with. Because all along, I wanted something else; I wanted _someone _else," Bonnie revealed, and Stefan furrowed his brows at that as she continued on. "I would've married someone I didn't want to be with anymore if Damon gave up hope. I wouldn't be with the person I want to spend _the rest of my life with _if Damon didn't believe that we had a chance, so no, Stefan—I don't think that it's ever too late to turn it around. I don't think that you should ever give up or lose hope… I think that you should always fight for something when you know it's worth fighting for."

Stefan didn't say a word at that. Instead he leaned in and hugged her tightly; his head landing on her shoulder as Bonnie's arms wrapped around him as well.

He held her strongly in the embrace for what felt like hours, before finally releasing her and meeting her eyes. She finally offered him a smile and he flashed one in return as well as they just stared at one another before Stefan turned back to the unfinished meal she'd been preparing on the countertop and gestured to the array of vegetables and peppers while she followed his eyes.

"Can I help? It's kind of my forte," Stefan said, and Bonnie laughed at that with a nod as she watched him go over to the sink quickly to wash his hands and roll up his sleeves.

When he came back, she handed him a knife and Stefan smiled in response before grabbing a tomato and getting to work.

XXXXX

"_I've __told Bon-Bon__ plenty of times that I think you and I have something going on. Do you think she'll actually believe me if she finds us up here?" Damon asked jokingly and Sheila Bennett snorted as she shut her bedroom door behind him and rolled her eyes; a shit-eating grin __was plastered __on Damon's cheeks all the while. _

"_You wouldn't even know what to do with me__ if that were true, Damon.__ Stay in your lane," Grams replied__,__ and Damon laughed at that as he watched the woman walked towards her dresser in the massive master bedroom, before opening the top drawer. __"Now, if you're done talking nonsense, __I wanted to give you something. Before I __forget__."_

"_I'm guessing it's important, because you pulled me away from __an exciting__ game of Scrabble," he said as Sheila dug __into the drawer __and he folded his arms over his chest for a moment, tapping his foot. "I was winning you know."_

_He wasn't exaggerating about that part. Damon had been whooping some Bennett-Hopkins __ass __this evening at Bonnie's family Christmas dinner before he was inexplicably pulled away to "get more snacks" from the kitchen with Sheila, just a few moments ago. That resulted in him actually following her upstairs to her bedroom, which would have been salacious enough __dream __when he was younger—because not for nothing__,__ but Grams __was__hot __when he was eighteen—but apparently __this didn't have a thing to do with his schoolboy crush at all. Sheila Bennett stole him away from the festivities __because she had something to give him. And he could not have been more curious __about what it was __as he watched her sifting through her things for a few minutes __and__ his eyes wandered around the __colossal __suite before he finally heard an __a-ha __pop from her __violet-stained __lips._

_Damon walked in__ towards her__ and Sheila turned around with a smile and something in the palm of her hand as he lifted a brow once he watched her reveal just what she had been searching for. _

_She opened the tiny gray box silently to reveal a breathtaking 4 carat ring with a __platinum__ band attached; the __crystal-clear halo __cut __diamond ring __glittered magnificently even in the dimly lit room. His forehead wrinkled at that as a satisfied smile formed onto Sheila's lips before she looked up at him and Damon struggled to find his words. _

_He finally spoke first. _

"_Are you asking for my hand in marriage?"_

"_Do you ever stop joking around?" Sheila shot in response and Damon smiled at that as did she when she stepped in closer; his eyes completely enamored by the ring in her hand. "This was my engagement ring. From Bonnie's grandpa. He proposed with it when we got married. It's never been altered," she said__,__ and Damon watched on her eyes met his, suddenly serious. __"I tried to give it to Rudy when he proposed to Abby but he's stubborn; and he didn't want my 'handouts,' but you… I know you don't need it—I'd bet Giuseppe left you a mighty trust fund, but… I want you to have this, Damon. __For when you and Bonnie are ready. I want you to be the one to give this to her."_

_Damon was taken aback at that, as Sheila handed the ring box off to his hand. His eyes widened when he inspected the __magnificent piece of jewelry__ before he looked back up into her eyes and shook his head as he swallowed hard. _

"_I—I appreciate this. Sheila. I really do. __But… maybe Rudy and I have something in common, after all," he said as he handed the box back to her and let out a short sigh. "__I can't take this," he said biting his lip. __"Besides the fact that Bonnie's not even in the realm of _thinking _about marriage in the next 30 years after what happened with Enzo, I… would feel guilty if I took away something that gave you happiness while I was waiting on mine," he reasoned and Sheila listened on. "I can't. __It's yours. It's your reminder of your husband__—"_

"_It's a reminder that we don't __get to __choose who we love__," she interrupted him, and his dark brows knitted. "__I certainly wouldn't have picked James if I had any say in the matter," Sheila __added,__ and he remained silent at that as he watched a smile meet her lips again. __"You and Bonnie—you two remind me of him; of what we had… The bickering, the competitiveness, the… tenderness when we were both finally honest enough to admit to what we wanted—when we realized it was each other," she said, and Damon's lips flirted into a smile at that while he remained silent. "I know you don't__ want __to take this Damon—because you think I'll be missing it, but I won't… All of the memories that I __have __and need from James are in here," she said tapping her temple as she looked into his cerulean eyes. "I just want you to make her happy, Damon—as happy as I was; still am even though he's gone. So," she took his hands into hers and Damon looked down as her fingers formed over his and the ring box was suddenly in his palm again, as she held on tight and he only breathed silently in response, because really, what else could he do? "I want you to have this, Damon. Because__ even though I know that you're not ready __right now__, you will be, one day. And so will Bonnie. __So, don't give up. Ever. Keep fighting. And just know that one day you will have everything it is, that you've ever dreamed of… Because it is possible to have it all. And you don't have to feel guilty for wanting it."_

Damon looked down at the ring box in his hand as he stood in the guest bedroom in front of the dresser drawer. He was fresh out of the shower with his towel draped over his hips and his damp hair on his forehead while he studied it quietly, remembering that Christmas night when Sheila had given her ring to him, just before he and Bonnie set off to Italy the next day.

He obviously didn't plan on proposing with it yet but he did decide to carry it with him here, because there was something about Sheila's story that moved him; gave him hope, when he remembered just what this ring stood for.

_And the happiness he would have to allow himself to have, if he could just finally let go of all his pain, mistakes, and trauma in the past._

He needed to heal; he knew that much, if he and Bonnie were ever going to have a future.

If _he _was going to have a future.

And he knew the first step was acknowledgment; he needed to accept who he was—and what he had gone through—before he could even begin to liberate himself from it. He needed to admit to the way he felt and talk about it, as frequently and as candidly as he had to, so it could stop having so much power over him; so this _grief, anger, and impulsivity _could stop controlling him. He wanted to recover; he wanted to be able to believe in the people around him—and himself—but he wasn't going to be able to do that if he weren't honest with them, and himself, as well.

Speaking with Bonnie over the past few days began to thaw the ice-cold exterior that he'd formally encased his heart and emotions into. She was perfect, just like she always was, when it came to listening to him not just to respond, but to understand. And even though he knew this was far from over—_and he was far from better_—it was the first time in his life he actually _believed _that maybe one day, he could be.

One day, he wouldn't be so wrecked over the fact that his mother died, right in front of him. And maybe he wouldn't _destroy himself _in an effort to cope, when he came to terms with the fact that his father was dying too—and he couldn't stop this train.

Hell, maybe he could even learn to forgive Stefan. And talk to Enzo. _Really _apologize to Elena.

But he needed to take it one step at a time. And having Bonnie there; it helped.

He wasn't sure she'd ever truly understand the magnitude of how much her love saved him—because it was a debt he never truly believed he could pay back.

Damon ticked his jaw and he tucked the ring back into the drawer, before grabbing a pair of boxers, dropping his towel, and pulling them on. He swallowed hard and turned around when he heard a knock on the door before it opened and just like that, there she was. An easy expression crossed on her virtuous face, before she leaned in the doorway and met his eyes.

She was positively breathtaking; _glowing, even, in this light._

"Hey. Dinner's ready, if you want to come down. Your parents left to meet up with friends and Stefan went out for a run, so it'll be just us… I made peperonata. _Attempted _to make peperonata, anyway from the cookbook I found in the kitchen," she said with an innocent smile and Damon flashed one in return at that as she bit her lip. "I'll… give you a few to get dressed—"

"Hey, Bonnie," he said, and she stopped in her tracks and turned around to meet him. He remained silent as he walked towards her slowly and she pressed the door shut behind her, never dropping her gaze from his eyes. "Can we talk?"

"Of course, always," she nodded as she folded her arms comfortably over her tank top and inhaled; the sweet smell of his lilac shampoo infiltrating her senses as he stood in penetratingly close proximity to her. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, I... just realized I haven't thanked you for today—_this week—_and I wanted you to know that I do appreciate all of this. And _you _and… I'm sorry about the other night; about what I said—"

"Damon, it's fine. I promise, it's _okay—_"

"It's not okay," he interrupted her, shaking his head and she pressed her lips shut as she stood quiet and listened. "Things fell apart for me, pretty badly, and my first impulsive decision was to try to end things with you… and you aren't the problem, Bonnie. You never have been. It's me; it's… everything to do with _me,_" he said, and Bonnie didn't say anything as she watched him struggling to find the right words to say, while he looked daringly into her eyes. "The last time I ended things—after that stupid rave—I promised you that I would never leave you again; I promised you that, _that, _was it; that I'd finally get out of my own head and… this week proved that I haven't. The truth is that sometimes I find it _impossible _to believe that you like me because I don't even like myself a lot of the time. I'm… still not where I want to be as a person and I'm not who I want to be as your boyfriend," he admitted and Bonnie swallowed hard at that as she remained in place and she let out a deep sigh; a mix of emotions hollowing out in her eyes.

"I… know that you're a work in progress. And I know that when you said you wanted to break up, didn't mean it. Both times. You… were running away, Damon. Because that's what you do sometimes. You run when things get hard. Or when it's too _good _to be true—"

"I know. I know I do," he said before taking her hands into his and forming his warm fingers around hers, as he followed her stare. "But that's not good enough excuse. Not for me and certainly not for you. So, instead of me making another promise, I just want to give you the _best _apology that there is… Changed behavior," he said, and Bonnie's forehead wrinkled at that as he ticked his jaw. "I will change, because you, Bonnie Bennett, _make me _want to change. You… make me want to be _good_, and you make me want to heal from all of this, and you," his fingers dropped her hands and met her cheek—slowly trailing along her skin as she inhaled deeply; goosebumps rising along her skin—"you make me want to be forgiving. Of not just other people, but of myself, too. And I know that is the first step to getting out of all of this. I need acknowledge things. I need to _talk _about things… and I need to forgive. Just like you've forgiven me. And… I guess I just wanted you to know that; that I'm committed to this, and you. I am… 100% committed to you. And I always will be."

Bonnie blinked back her tears at that and offered a silent nod as he wiped her jaw with his thumb the second one rolled down her cheek. She remained fixed on him, like a movie, that she just couldn't tear herself away from.

_Because he was quite possibly the greatest film of all time._

"I think that's a good plan," she said and he licked his lips at that before she cleared her throat. "But I… I _do _still think there is something I can do to help you, along the way—to help get you where you want to be," she said and Damon lifted a brow at that as Bonnie moved from his embrace and walked over to her pocketbook that sat across the room on the night table; her hands dug through it for a moment before she turned back around to face him.

His eyes narrowed when he walked back over and she took his palm into his own, gently handing over the contents as he looked down and saw a shiny, silver key.

He looked up with furrowed brows and Bonnie let out a deep breath in trepidation while Damon brought the metal up to his eyes.

"What is it? The key to your heart?"

"You are _so _annoying," she shot back with a grin and he smiled contently when he watched her look down to the ground nervously before her eyes were back up at him; and in that moment, he swore on his own life, he couldn't have ever possibly loved her more, "It's… the key to my place; my condo," she said and Damon remained silent at that though his stare just as inquisitive the same. "I know that you're planning to figure things out when we get back to Mystic Falls—with your dad and Gail moving back next month, but I… was wondering if I could make things a little bit easier if you just decided to live with me?" she asked and he felt his heart suddenly jump to his throat. "It'll be… _our _place."

They stood in aching, agonizing silence for a moment, as they just stared at one another and Bonnie was the first to speak again as she pursed her lips and offered a shrug.

"I know it's hard to picture yourself living in a condo, what, after growing up on _acres of land in a mansion _but… I think this is the next logical step for us Damon, after _everything. _So, I mean… You can think about it, _or whatever_ and let me know how you feel, once we get back. Offer still stands for however long you need it," she said, and he furrowed his brows as she looked down nervously and lowered her voice. "Or you can just say _no _if you think it's too soon—"

Her words stopped when Damon immediately pulled her in and his lips met hers in a burning, heart stopping, bone-rattling kiss; the kind you read about but would only be so lucky to experience for yourself, as he kissed her so strongly—so passionately—he was practically breathing her in. And Bonnie was all but of puddle of emotion; absolute _putty _as he held her in his hands.

When he pulled away, he felt the tiny expels of her breath on his lips and she smiled with relief; her fingers slicking back his wet hair while his hands held still at the hips. Her green eyes looked into his and she breathed smoothly though her heart was racing.

_It was taking everything in her not to just kiss him over, and over, again._

"So, I take it that's a _maybe, _right?" she joked, and he scoffed at that as his dimples formed on his cheeks and his lips grazed her own, while he spoke in a low whisper.

"Who's the _annoying_ one, now?"

"You. Still you. _Always _you—"

Her words were interrupted as she let out a shriek and a giggle when he lifted her into his arms. Her legs instantly wrapped around his waist with their mouths still welded to one another's in a fervent kiss, before he laid her down onto the bed and climbed on top of her.

Bonnie looked up at him silently for a moment, staring in absolute marvel, as her manicured fingertips trailed across his jaw and he shut his eyes to the feeling; the sounds of his breathing remained rhythmic, though his heart was ready to pound right out of his chest.

He leaned in and kissed her again; this time, slower, but no less starving, as he all but devoured her lips and her tongue, as the succulent taste of the wine that she'd been cooking with traveled onto his tastebuds.

Bonnie moaned against his mouth and pulled away softly—_regrettably—_as she reopened her eyes and grazed her thumb along his bottom lip. His eyes remained carnal all the while.

"The peperonta is gonna get cold," she started, and he stopped her, with an index finger to her mouth; she was dangerously close to capturing it with her tongue.

"Let it," he whispered as his touch sent a chill down her spine, when his free hand made it to her jeans—he successfully popped open the button without even looking, "because I don't plan on allowing you to leave this bed for the next 48 hours, Bonnie Bennett. I hope you're ready for that."

Bonnie grinned in response to that as he kissed her again—longingly and hungrily—while he slid her jeans down her legs and fondled his hands all over her body; his lips practically mauling hers in the process.

He only stopped when he was suddenly beneath her; pinned to the mattress with Bonnie's hand as she employed all of her strength to roll them over, while he now laid beneath her and she straddled him completely over his lap.

He watched on in pure delight and enchantment when she pulled her shirt off over her head, exposing her lacy black bralette. He couldn't stop his eyes from wondering, until he heard her voice again, as he watched her slowly taking it off.

"The better question is, are _you_?" she asked. "_Are you ready?"_

A/N: Hey everyone! Another looooong chapter for you all! I wanted to dive into all of things involving Damon's mental health and him finally realizing he needs to properly cope with it, because I felt like the show did a horrible job at addressing it (and basically blaming Elena anytime he went off the rails). I didn't want Bonnie to be RESPONSIBLE fin this story either, but I wanted her to be able to show him that he can grow and change if he wants to (like she did in the canon). I also thought it'd be cliché to break them up over the stuff with his dad so I hope you are all happy it went in another direction with them reconciling instead. Thoughts on it all? Stefan now knows about Enzo and I also threw in some Elena and Nora just because I enjoy writing them. We will see where that goes… Thanks for reading, and review if you can. Until next time! xoxo


End file.
